THREAD 12 Jan 2014 - The one where we start mainlining raspberry leaf tea and festive treats for "the baby"

[fryingpantoface]

Thought I'd go for it

Yodel are the worst delivery company ever. Last Christmas I bought some shoes from office for my nephew and they posted a missed delivery card through my letter box even though I was in and they definitely didn't knock! The number on the card was not valid when I tried to re-arrange on the website and there was no way of speaking to a human on the phone without this reference number. The shoes ended up being returned to Office and nephew ended up with no present until ages after Christmas as they live quite far away so we don't get to see them much. So frustrating!

Well I am considering it, but I don't feel entirely comfortable with not working and claiming whatever benefits I'd be entitled to. It would be wonderful to not have to pack the baby off to a childminder/nursery and spend more time with her but I don't know if not working would send me nuts. It's totally ridiculous that I'd be better off not working though - it's definitely the sort of thing that's wrong with the benefit system in this country.

Dh sat me down last night as he wanted to discuss the baby.

first off, this never happens, he's so laid back it's unreal. As such, i do all the planning and stressing.

he wanted to know when we were going to buy bottles and dummies (he decided Wed after work) and what happens if the baby comes early and needs to be in nicu.

he's thought about it and would arrange with work to only work in the morning so we could visit the baby in the pm. That way when the baby came out of hospital he could be there all the time. My mom, meanwhile, would fly back to the country the very next day (he already talked to her about it!)

i cant tell you how touched i am that he's thought of this! He thinks the baby will come on 17 dec too. My mom thinks 14 dec. Time will tell

Thanks Sultana called the nurse today told me its a localised reaction and should give it a week, and if its still there go back. Have the midwife on Friday so if its still there I can say to her.

Nature that sucks!

Aww frying that melts the swinging rock I call a heart! It's good that he's thinking about these things now!

Felix really is crazy that its easier not to work. My mum works 3 jobs and would be so much better off just not working....crazy system.

Aw frying how lovely.

nature that totally sucks.

Feel lucky that in my mat meeting my hr guy has said that I would come back to my job even after 12 months as the way he works i am treated the same as if I was actually here. It would know be if the work had changed or been restructured but then they would pay me the same and it would have to be at a similar level. At least that's a good thing.
Spoke to my boss to and she could tell I wasn't happy so hopefully the extra work will get shared with others now.

Must dash, am having to quickly check thread on my phone as mumsnet has been blocked on my work computer even during lunch! Bad times.

nature don't bother calling yodel they are a bunch of wankbadgers and it's the company you bought from who should be wasting their time/money chasing it up.
Was it amazon you bought from? They are really good at getting a replacement out ASAP when one goes missing.

Can't believe your managers refused your mat leave request. I would be invoking the same sort of consideration to my work for the remaining weeks that they have shown you. Depending on your field I thought it was very difficult for them to give you a different job on your return because it is so easy to challenge the equivalence of the new role.

Felix - we would also be worse off ( I'm a sahm mum now ) if I went to work after baby. Unless universal credits changes that but its rolling out a good but later here in NI so will see what happens closer to the time.

I've been considering starting my own business and it would mean I could bring one of my kids with me at least part time. Will be looking into that again once this baby is 6 months with the view to having it up and running by the time she's 1, and established enough that we can start trying to conceive again a year after that. It'll not be a huge money spinner - probably a not for profit venture, but it would be a fulfilling career.

Nature that all sounds so stressful! Really hope they'll go through with your part time suggestion. Very sensible of you to wait to send!

Felix my DH puts stuff on top of the kitchen cupboards all the time! I can't reach!!! Grr. We're also worse off if I work away from home. Ridiculous.

Frying that's so sweet of your DP! Must be lovely to feel practically supported a bit. Mine needs talking through everything. He's lovely but has zero initiative.

Had 36wk MW appointment this morning (a few days early) - am properly engaged and she reckons next ten days or so for the arrival. I don't believe her! I'm walking as much as possible to get things pointing in the right direction though.

DH was told this morning that as of Feb his job no longer exists. Great timing

The next 10 days extra omg

I know!!! But I'm not getting my hopes up. I'll be 42 weeks at least!

extra stupid question but how do they know if its engaged?

Wow extra the next 10 days?! That is crazy. I'm also curious how they tell babies head is engaged?

That's awful news about DH job :( does he work in the type of job where he can find work easily? I hope so.

Wow extra sounds like it might not be long for you. Sorry about your Dh's job. Not the sort of stress that you need right now.

So I am feeling a bit more positive. Sent my email and then had a chat with my manager. Apparently their email wasn't a flat out no (although that is how it read) more a discussion piece and they were concerned about my handover. So we have now agreed that once I'm happy my handover has been completed and everyone is confident with the jobs that I do we can re-look at when I can finish. We also agreed a few other things that will really take the pressure off me. So there is now a massive incentive for me to get my handover done! I shall most definitely be working very hard for the rest of the week!

Wow extra! Great news on the baby, not for the job though.

so that's a bit better nature! Does that mean as soon as you think the handover is done you can leave?

Nature that sounds promising. Hopefully you can get your handover sorted out soon then?

Oooh, extra, you could be our second birth. Sucks about your DH's job, though :(

Re the head being engaged, they just feel around like they normally do, but they feel really low down and check how much of the baby's head they can feel. This is usually measured in 5ths, so if they can feel 5/5 then the head is completely free of your pelvis, 2/5 or 3/5 means it's getting there, and if they can't feel any of its head then it's engaged.

That's encouraging, nature :

nature within 6 months it's a legal requirement to give you the same job back, after 6 it's a job of the same level, pay, benefits etc but not necessarily the exact same job. What a bunch of cuntpuffins.

frying I was and am likely to be awake between the hours of 1 & 4am. Last night I nearly considered going downstairs and ironing to try and send myself off to sleep. It's just so frustrating!!!

Just realised I'd missed this page.

nature glad they're being more considerate!

My mat leave cover starts on Tuesday, will be handing over and then working from home as much as possible befor finishing up at Christmas. I'm 33+4 is anyone else feeling like all the growing is completely stretching them... I feel like I'm exploding at the seams! All a bit too Twilight child for my liking.

Mac I am 33+5 and feel the same. Apparently they gain a third to a half of their weight in these last few weeks and I am wondering if there's even any more room in there

I am sat at my dressing table and it's taking all my willpower to put some makeup on and brush my hair. I simply cannot be arsed any more. I never leave the house without makeup and always thought I'd never become someone who just couldn't be bothered any more and I swear it's now happening! Going round to our new landlords (soon to be ours) house at 8 to sign the lease as we are moving in a couple of weeks time. Will get the keys on Monday. I'm stressed already!

Me too - feel like I'm going to pop at the seams. There is no space in there for food, my lungs... Nothing.

I'm coming down with something. Have a sore throat, sore ears, aching... And I'm at a bloody conference all bloody week.

AND I opened the Christmas chocolates.

God Felix, I can't believe you are going to move house at 35 weeks pregnant. Good luck!

Extra, 10 days!? Wow! That would be amazing.

10 days?! I'd be avoiding curries, pineapple, etc for a while ;)

Sorry to hear about your dps job though hopefully he will get redundancy package and there's time to look for something new. Obv it doesn't make the timing any more ideal but at least it can be planned for a bit!

Felix - you are brave moving in next few weeks. Eek! Know what you mean about energy ( just woken up from 2nd 2 hour long nap of the day!) and know I couldn't even contemplate packing up and moving house!

Nature - read up on maternity rights a bit so you can answer factually and they know you know your stuff and won't be messed about!

Wow Felix! Good luck with the house move.

I'm 32+4 and i don't think i could get bigger. Even though I know i probably will.

tea is on cooking, we're having chilli. Well, kinda. I don't like kidney beans. So its mince in chilli sauce. That's not too bad right? With rice and Doritos.

for pudding, i know, check me out, we're having lemon drizzle cake. Ds helped me make both so we'll see how that works out

I know it's totally mental to move at this stage but we live in a city centre apartment with dodgy lift and the place we are moving to is a nice 2 up, 2 down in 'the suburbs' (still only 3 miles from the city) which costs £395 a month!!! Compared to £825 we are currently paying. We'd be stupid not to. Luckily OH said he will drop me off at my Mums for the weekend and him and his Dad will move everything.

I just had nachos with pulled jerk chicken for tea. I am the essence of healthy eating. That chocolate orange will be calling my name tonight.

That's a good deal felix!

frying, my aunt is Mexican and thinks people are terrible plebs when they put beans in chilli. They're not meant to be there. So you're doing it right :o

The move sounds like a no-brainer, felix :)

I'm just waiting for the broccoli to cook and then it's time for the steak and stilton masterpiece pie I've been preparing and nurturing most of the day. Can't wait!

extra so sorry about dhs job. I know how you feel and I have everything crossed that something comes along for him. Life really does suck sometimes, but try and stay positive and keep him positive as anything could be around the corner.
Wow about 10 days left, although i heard that the head being engaged doesnt actually give an indication as to how long is left as it happens at different times for different people. I have read that it tends to be earlier with your first and some people only engage when labour starts so........
Once they engage, do they settle into that position so you know they arent breech etc or can they dis-engage and move position?

I have my 34 week app on wed and i cant wait, although god knows what ill go back to at work as noone will cover while i am not there!
People are commenting that the bump seems to be starting really grow fast, which i think is what i need to expect from now on.

I had chicken soup for tea made with the carcass from yesterdays roast. It was a cheapy chicken though so had to boil it down a lot. It was nice, but dh had his before i got home (he plays geek games at his friends tonight) and he didnt boil his down very much so was rather watery. He didnt seem happy when i arrived, but dont know why and like a typical man he wont tell me.