February 2014 - is there an octopus in there?

[LittlePandaBear]

Okay I don't like to run out of things, even threads, so here's the new one.

Can't remember who described their baby kicking like an octopus but it's very true :)

Sorry julietee x-post. Our sex life has gone AWOL too, poor DH. I had about a fortnight when I was massively randy and now I've completely lost it. I wish I could get it back!

That's an interesting question about loss of self. Tbh, for me, pregnancy has been a massive loss of self because of all the things I've given up. I feel as though I am doing nothing now except growing a baby - which is amazing, of course, but will be infinitely more amazing when she's actually here. So I'm mostly just enormously excited about the birth and very impatient for February to arrive.

That said I am concerned about the future, in terms of at what point do I stop being a SAHM, and will I be able to resurrect a career at that stage? So I think I will face these same concerns.

marzi I'm the opposite, I'm sad because I won't get to do it again. I don't take for granted though that I've had three perfect pregnancies. I see it like reading a good book- I'm desperate to get to the end to see the outcome but I don't want the experience to be over either. The only bit I don't like is the worry but that only gets worse when the baby is born.
Every credit to those of you coping with difficult pregnancies.

sunflowered thats made me smile. I can imagine the scenario!

I was going to stop being a sahm when we moved and at least try part time work. Then we found out I was pregnant. Which has obviously meant since then I have been inundated with calls asking me to apply for jobs. One of which I would have loved!

gnitting your wi sounds great. I suspect the one here is very much old school, but will investigate. I went to a different womens group last night, was the youngest by 12-15 year's and the oldest member was 57 years older than me. Sigh.

For what it's worth, apart from spd in pregnancy 1 and the 35degrees heat outside at 39-40 weeks Think feet in bucket of ice I enjoyed being pregnant. This time not so much, I think the sickness has a lot to thank for that, plus spd, anemia and because of the extra blood tests I have to have for my thyroid, feel like a blooming pin cushion cos they keep failing to get blood out.

I looked into the WI here, but it's very much jam and Jerusalem. The meetings are in the daytime, but then we are in retirement land. The mothers union is the same.

Eeyore look at ladies circle, that is aimed at 18-45 and seems a bit more lively. Sadly there isnt one here.

I think I would quite enjoy the jam and Jerusalem aspect of the WI, not so sure about the sex toys! I've looked into it before and the two main problems are that they all meet in the daytime, and that I would be at least 20 years younger than the others. I will stick to Guiding I think - the Trefoil guild is a sort of Guide WI for 18+, and I would probably be more at home.

My nursery is now a lovely creamy yellow, waiting for furniture to be built etc. Baby seems a lot closer now it has (almost) got its own bedroom!

Just looked and there is a Shrewsbury Ladies Circle - sounds quite good, their meeting between now and Christmas are ceramic painting, A quiz, mince pies and drinks at someone's house, a meal out and and a carol concert.

I'm so jealous of your WI membership gnitting. There's a youngish Manchester group that I'd love to join but they've capped membership and aren't letting anyone else join at the moment.

Ugh had a funny turn at work today. I've been feeling a bit rough all week (coming down with a cold/stressed) and felt a bit light headed yesterday in class. I had year 11 this morning and was on my feet the whole time doing a practical and then ended up going ape shit at one lad who was just so bloody rude. Felt a bit light headed after that and then a couple of lessons later I was on the isolation room and just started to feel really weak and light headed and sick. I got really shaky and got pretty upset as I felt so out of it. Luckily they've covered my last lesson and sent me home - after i ate some food and seemed okay to drive. Rang the docs and gonna go get checked in a bit. I'm sure it's nothing - probably just hadn't eaten enough this morning, but better safe than sorry. Feel so exhausted now.

Shrops I am so jealous of your lovely pregnancy - fancy a body swap?

Julietee - it is weird being preggo and when I think about how much things will change once baby is here im kinda "eeeeeek!!!" but i'm very excited too. The worst for me was first trimester when I just couldnt do anything enjoyable and so didn't feel like me at all.Even though third tri is hard I feel a bit more like myself again (although agree with whoever said you do kinda just feel like you're growing a baby!).

Soooo glad it's the weekend. Hope you all have lovely things planned x

julietee yes yes yes on the identity crisis moments. Dh took me to Costa after church on Sunday and explained that next spring will imvolve a lot of work abroad, and I nearly broke down telling him that I feel so insignificant at the moment. My contract is finished, I have a fat tummy, few close friends, few close family and won't know what to do with myself while he is away. He said, "let's put this on real terms, you no longer have a job, your supervisor hates you, you don't have a car, your body is changing...... I can see why you're down, but you're not insignificant, you're carrying our baby." bless him, but i've never been at this point before, so I don't know what to expect. Plus we haven't DTD for about 2 weeks now. Arrrgg.
Over and out x

My friend is a member of the Manchester group misskat she really loves it. I hope you start to feel better soon, I'm glad your school sent you home!

There's a new WI group set up where we've just moved to and I was wondering about popping along, I think I'd feel a bit awkward just going by myself though, and I'm not sure if I could keep it up once the baby's here.

I went to the docs this morning because I've had a horrible cough for the past two and a half weeks, it seems to be getting worse but he said he didn't think it was an infection which is a relief. I've been given some simple linctus to help, yum!

I too am wishing the time away, more so just for everything to be ok. Our sex life is also lacking, I think the fact I've burst into tears from worry the past two times we tried was a bit of a libido killer! I feel for Dh as I promised him all the unprotected sex in the world when we were ttc (got pg on the first try) so now I'm telling him we'll be at it like rabbits in January when trying to get the baby out, he seems happy with that

My maternity cover starts next week - I've been cleaning out my bookshelf and will do the desk on Monday. It's going to be very weird handing everything over (still got loads of notes to write for him, I think I've been a bit in denial about it)

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Re: identity crisis, when I first moved overseas, my entire identity took a tumble - I wasn't able to work, had taken a huge gamble on my then DP (now DH!) and was in a very foreign place. Not to ramble on too much, but I found that focusing on a few really important bits of my life before (music, books, friends) kept me sane and helped me adjust to the new reality. Yes, it's going to be one hell of a ride, but we're all still going to be us, just with a new reality. An awesome one.

tiny wow, maternity cover! That's cool, are you leaving or will you hand over for a while?

misskat that sounds horrible, and like a hypoglycaemic (sp?) period to me, although I am not a Dr and could well be talking out of my arse. I hope you can get it sorted out easily.

gnitting we have a month's handover period! It's going to be a long drawn-out process with me having to train him up. I hope he's not better at the job than I am (I'm worried I'm going to be found out!)

I'm looking forward to having a new identity, I've never had a clear one anyway I don't think. Looking forward to being someone's mummy and having responsibility - it might make my own mum realise I'm actually an adult!

marzipanned - yes it's pretty rough to put it mildly, must be pushing my other half to the limit probably. I do take meds now - have never been on proper medication for it before, as I sort of was diagnosed (after 10 years with the thing) and then left to myself whilst on a waiting list. However, now I'm finally on something, but refused to start until after 12 weeks due to a risk for cleft thingy with baby. No risks now however, but I am still not finished finding the right dose, as it's dangerous to increase it too fast. Hopefully it will be more in control soon!

Julietee I so know what you mean with the sex-thing :P Climaxes are frequent but very disappointing, and sex life feels deadish too. Pfff! Have not had a sense of losing myself yet, right now it's a relief to be able to put the career pressure on hold for atleast a year!

Misskat that sounds like a terrible day, I hope you feel better later this evening, and that the doctor can help you out if it's something ongoing. x

missk sorry you're not well. Put your feet up and have a good dinner.

The builders have finally left our house we have a very shiny new en suite and the nursery can now turned into a nursery. I'm so pleased. Lots more work still to do to the house, but we moving closer to it being fully habitable.

Both DH and I are too nervous to actually use the en suite yet! It's so shiny!

I've spent most of the afternoon in bed, once I'd hit my deadlines. More work to do once I finally leave bed. I'm so so so tired I don't feel bad as I've worked really long hours this week, and have a busy three weeks coming up.

misskat you poor thing. Sounds awful. Thank goodness it's the weekend. Remember you need an extra couple hundred calories a day in the last trimester so do keep your blood sugar levels up.

eeyore I'm so jealous!! Ours are still in - though the nursery wall has been painted (yay) so can now be recarpeted and the sitting room finally has a ceiling again... the end is in sight, maybe! Have fun decorating and sitting on your shiny new loo :)

tea my DH works abroad a lot too and I am really worried about what that'll be like after baby arrives. I think you were quite entitled to your breakdown. And two weeks sounds pretty good to me - we went months without DTD at the beginning of the pregnancy!

Tea Yeah, I feel like my world is shrinking. OR has already shrunk, seeing as I do so little already, and will likely shrink further. But I'm probably just being pessimistic - once I have womb-dweller out here maybe I'll be really motivated to get out there and do lots of stuff, just with a baby-centred flavour!

Gnitting Thanks! Good advice.

I'm jealous of whoever said they hadn't dtd for 2 weeks - we've been more like a month and a half!
I am feeling sorry for myself because there was always a discrepancy in our drives (with mine being the higher) and I'm afraid we're just going to get out of the habit once we're debilitated by tiredness. I am constantly offering him, uh, favours, and he's not interested. Woe is me.

I'm another one who enjoys being pregnant - I feel really lucky that everything has gone smoothly and I've felt well throughout. But I don't want more than two children so this is my last pregnancy which makes me a little sad! I always thought that DH agreed with me on having two children (as it was me nagging him about trying for no. 2 rather than the other way round) but he said last week that we'll see what happens in the future, rather than a definite 'No I don't want more'. He's one of three himself but he doesn't have a close relationship with his siblings so it surprised me. I'm already worried about having enough time to spend with two children so don't think I'd cope with three - and then there's the cost of bringing them up. Although as I love my DD so much I can understand parents wanting to recreate it as many times as possible!

Your identity can take a little bit of a battering one you become a mum - it's difficult not to let your life revolve around your child and what they need. But I like to think that it just adds to your identity rather than taking anything away from it. At baby/toddler groups you'll know the children's names but rarely the mums names. You'll talk about what the babies are doing rather than much about yourself.

I found it strange when I went out by myself after baby was here as if I was invisible. When you're heavily pregnant people notice, may make a comment, I was always proud to be obviously pregnant! Then when you go out with baby people notice again, help you through doors with the buggy, make a fuss of your baby and talk to you etc. Then when I was by myself I was a 'nobody' again, not special anymore! I'm not sure everyone would feel like that but I really noticed it!

eeyore - enjoy new new ensuite! Make sure you actually use it!

misskat - hope you're feeling better soon - sending local Stockport well wishes!

I've been spending the last few days getting stressed about our remortgage as I'm basically having to pay an extra £1000 to the solicitor to get it completed from the previous lender because they don't have an up to date mortgage statement so think we owe more than we do. They are just so useless and although we should get our money back again in the next few weeks I could really do without having to shell it out in the first place! Grrr.

Right - new subject - anyone found any nice changing bags? I had a rubbishy one from Next last time which was okay but was always envious of friends ones with millions of useful pockets whilst looking pretty at the same time.

Just had a call from the doctors, blood results are back and they need to talk to me about iron. Might explain a thing or two! Any tips for how I can get more iron in my diet? Don't see the doctor until Tuesday

tiny cocoa, green leaves and red meat ( if you are not vegetarian ) but I find diet makes little difference. My hb dropped from 11.8 not pregnant to 11.3 at 8 weeks, 10.9 at 19 weeks and 10.1 at 25 weeks despite a good diet and taking low level iron supplements. I'm now on 2-3 tablets a day. Not sure when they'll test again. You can get ferrous sulfate over the pharmacist counter or take pregnancy multi vits that include iron til you've seen the dr. Did they tell you what your hb was?

tiny Vitamin C aids absorption of iron, so if you are having an iron rich meal (beef with spinach/cabbage/winter greens for example) you can have a glass of orange juice with it to maximise your uptake. Also avoid caffeine around the same time, as it's a diuretic and can block optimal absorption.

Ps there's a thread on pregnancy now titled anaemia that might be helpful.

Tiny This probably isn't super helpful, but apparently people used to get a dose of iron from iron cooking pots!

Thanks poppy no, I just spoke to the receptionist, I'll make a note to ask on Tuesday. I haven't eaten much red meat at all thinking about it. Will the baby be ok, is it just me that's affected by it? I have actually started taking the vits again in the past couple of days so will keep going.

Ooh great advice everyone, thanks! I didn't realise about the vitamin c, will definitely do that. I'll go and find that thread...