Graduated Elderberries - Thread 8

[Cavort]

The over 30's expecting/just given birth to their first little bundle of joy.

Thread 8 already!!

Mother I was the same as you to begin with tho I was very lucky to have a pro breastfeeding baby from the word go I aimed for 4 weeks, then 6, then 8, then 4 months...

Once I was past 8 weeks I started to enjoy it more - wasn't taking as long and I felt I could leave the house (as long as I was back for feeds). Now I've cracked public feeding (ie I don't care anymore about what people might think) I can go anywhere.

I'm starting to worry about having to day-wean when I go back to work at 7/8 months now. I don't want to giveup. Considering at one point I was desperate to give up the next day, every day, for weeks, I'm pretty pleased to have got this far.

Take it one feed at a time for now, and try getting some help with the shells.

I like the idea of getting my body back but I find the thought of stopping BFing quite hard as I think we both get a lot out of it, and it's so handy to be able to cheer up even the grumpiest baby just by sticking a boob in. And I am absolutely too lazy to piss about making bottles in the night.

Mother just take one day at a time. You might get to 4 weeks and be ready to stop or you might just think, I've done the worst bit so now I can easily get to 5 weeks, and so on.

brave I haven't given up - can you express at work? I'm sure there's some law that says your employer has to provide the opportunity.

The law says they have to let me express but practically, that'll be pretty impossible due to the nature of the job - I'm expected to be available pretty much all the time and often have mini crises that need sorting.

Although it is possible that I could pop across to the nursery and give him a feed around lunchtime - it's literally 5 mins walk from my office.

I think we'll have to see how much he's eating foodwise by then and take it from there. Will certainly be looking to keep breastfeeding at night, and possibly in the evening and first thing if we have enough time.

The logistics of getting us both out of the house by a set time is totally panicking me. God knows how we'll manage!

Brave, they should change something about your job to make it possible - maybe you get an extra scheduled break or something where you are definitely not available?

We are getting lent a Babybay co-sleeper by friends (although it hasn't quite arrived yet, eeek) and a moses basket by our neighbours, both of which I have got to buy new mattresses for (I think?). Hoping baby doesn't turn up this week or it'll have nowhere to sleep. Have also (I hope) had the final necessary conversation with MIL about sheets (she has offered very kindly to sort our baby sheets by cutting up a large sheet and hemming it, but this has necessitated about 15 million conversations by phone text and email so far due to her incredible ability to make everything far more complicated than needs be). I am in the final week of work before mat leave this week, which involves a massive push to design all our company budgets for the next 5 years and preparation for a £250k funding application,, so having to also field enquiries about cot fabrics is making me lose it a bit! FINAL 3 DAYS and I can't wait to be done - lugging my laptop about on the tube is making me properly achy now by the end of the day.

quod mat leave is brilliant, keep that in mind when work gets stressy! I have also been lent a babybay cosleeper from a friend for night sleeping and also a lovely crib which I'm going to keep in the front room for daytime naps. MIL thinks we should use the crib in the bedroom as it's better in her view and what she used, and says we don't need it downstairs - we're going to do our original plan and see how we get on.

You are meant to get new mattresses - many places do standard sizes and I had to get my crib mattress from mamas and papas as the crib was from there and was exactly the right size - was cheap though. For the babybay cosleeper, I'm using a sleepyhead pillow I was lent, but I've bought a new mattress insert for it. I found a good company online that do made to measure mattresses quickly just in case you need to do that for the babybay - mine was cheaper than £20.

I do believe your employer needs to make reasonable adjustments if you are still breast feeding on your return. They can include extra breaks for expressing and a quiet private room for you to do so. I'm sure a quick 5 min run would be acceptable.
Another dreadful night over here. Experts tell me she is teething so I will buy some powder today and see how I get on. The only good thing is that she is napping better during the day as she is knackered!
Ooh two berries on mat leave almost!!! Way too exciting stuff. Alex, have you sorted out names yet?

I'm on mat leave already, have been since 8th Nov, it's great! Am on labour watch now as due date was Monday and my dates based around ovulation work out as today/tomorrow. Have a boys name sorted and we're down to four name options for the girl - DH says it's fine as we'll know when we see her!

do any of your babies scratch themselves? Viki has this annoying habit of scratching his head, especially when sleepy, he looks like he has been in a fight with cats. I swear I cut his nails every day, as short as I can without hurting him, and he still managest to scratch himself. As he uses his hands so much now, I can't really put scratch mitts on him.

My job is pretty incompatible with being a mother (tho this is partly because I've realised I don't love it). The woman who did the job before me came back after her mat leave and was made to change her role as she wanted to go part time.

There is one other woman who does the same job and she faced the same issue when she came back, although she was allowed to compress her hours slightly.

Hazle, H is terrible for his nails. They grow like triffids or something and they're a lot harder now so do more damage - he took a chunk out of his nose on Monday before I could get to him. Honestly, I don't know what to do about it.

Ahh brave sounds like a stressful situation!! I dont know if I want to go back full time and am worried how my boss will react. Your situation sounds a bit delicate though.

One bit of good news, I think I've sorted my milk supply problem for now. Have expressed over 25oz today one very happy mum have 16oz in the fridge in reserve.

Oh an I have the issue with the nails too, I cant get him to keep still to file them and he actually claws at the left side of his face when I feed him. He ends up looking like hes been attacked by edward scissor hands. The mitts just dont stay on long enough.

Mother lots of babygrows have mitts built in which embarrassingly I didn't realise for ages I know mothercare ones def do, and next... They are kind of fold over sleeves. Might be worth getting some for night when you can't keep an eye out! I can't get away with using them now as he loves using his hands too much.

Can recommend the nipper clippers from previous Apprentice winner - no accidents so far!

We do have a few of those janey, they are amazing. I didnt realise you could get them either

Ohh shall have a look. Thanks.

YY to having a baby who looks like she has been dragged at speed through a thorn bush. I can't keep up with the speed her nails grow and she won't put up with having her hands covered these days.

She slept 20.00-3.30 then 04.30-08.00 last night. I am praying for similar tonight!

Just managed to file the claws off....yay.

Have to say I'm getting a but pissed off at my OH now. Ever since going back to work hes mentality has changed. I do all the night wakings which is fine as he is working the next day but he doesnt even wake up anymore, plus he then bangs around in the morning and wakes us. He goes out and still doesnt feed the animals even though I asked him to make that his morning job. He is going to the gym 3 times a week so 2 evenings a week he comes in from work, eats then goes back out to the gym, plus saturday morning he goes in the morning so its yet another morning of doing everything alone. He is also starting to hand Harvey to me when he cries for food or winding as if it is my job. I just feel like he is wriggling out of everything, I need more back up than this!!

Harvey just went 5 an a half hours overnight. Not bad when he's not yet 3 weeks.

Wow Cavort that's amazing! Hope you had more last night - and Mother that's pretty good too!

Sorry to hear your OH is being a bit of a dick. It sounds like he's just reverted back to his pre baby life either because he's in denial, is too stressed by the reality to face up to it, or because he's a caveman who thinks it's your job.

The handing baby back thing is a classic. Mine did that for ages, made worse because I was breastfeeding and he said that he 'couldn't help'. But if you're exclusively expressing then the world is your oyster.

Tell him he's babysitting on Saturday morning and not going to the gym. Go and get your hair cut or something. It will scare him to death but only then will he realise that a) he's a parent too and b) he is capable of helping. He should feel empowered and you'll feel amazing for a couple of hours off.

I did this at around 11 weeks - was so stressful but he managed fine and has been so much better since.

Just an idea. But really there's no excuse for him to be so selfish of you're expressing! Does he do all of the night feeds at the weekend? I'd be inclined to make him while you can. Then he'd realise how hard it is living with sleep deprivation.

mother you need to have a serious talk with him, this is in no way fair. And if he gets so much time to spend at the gym, you should get an equal amount of free time when he takes care of the baby - even if you spend the time sleeping and reading at the moment. I have a friend who actually logged their respective babyfree time in excel

Thanks guys, I have told him that we are switching sides of the bed on Friday night and he is on baby duty. I might try and think of an outing for myself so he is left to look after Harvey, you're right that he needs to know what its like to do everything on your own. Don't think he appreciates how tough it can be!!

Mothercare are doing 20% off everything for anyone who's interested. Trying to decide if there's anything else big it's worth me buying now as that's a good offer. Don't want to buy any clothes as don't know what size my baby will be when it comes out!

Babyfree time in excel Sounds right up your street excel queen janey! I'm not surprised if my DH is jealous of this bit of baby free mat leave I'm on to be fair I would be! If I were you mother I'd have a chat about weekends especially and you needing to share the responsibilities more then. By the way, a friend's DH does a park run thing every Sat morning with their pram so maybe yours could swap that gym session to some kind of fitness thing involving the baby?!

alex you can always buy 6 or 12 month clothes, baby will grow into them eventually.

Good point about parkrun alex - we used to be parkrunners lol. Hoping to get back to it at some point soon but I think they say baby has to be older than 6 months to run with them in the pram as all the shaking and jolting is bad for them. Defo one to aim for.

Speaking of which my first ever proper sports bra arrived yesterday. Hazle what should it feel like when I try it on? I'm hoping for some kind of total flattening like the good old days but don't know if that's realistic now I have norks

alex you should be safe with anything from 'up to one month' upwards, its only newborn stuff which some babies dont fit into.

Thanks guys, having a few issues with the dog barking heaps, think she is playing up at not having as much attention. Going to have to try a long walk today, just hope Harvey settles in the baby carrier I bought yesterday and I can time the walk between feeds. wish me luck! Once I can drive and the weather is better I hope to go for long seafront walks with dog and bubs, might encourage my OH to do the same and leave me home to sleep

The first couple of my NCT births went amazingly smoothly in terms of pain/intervention but now tough stories are coming through. Did anyone have a sweep here? How was it for you? I'm really hoping things get going naturally but better start thinking ahead just in case.