MARTIANS 2014 - Thread 7: Are you due next March? Do you have wrecking balls for breasts? Getting moist over iCandys? Then come and talk shyte with us..

[PramQueen1971]

Thread 6

Oh Lyra and

You can do this. It sounds so hard, I really feel for you. But you are very strong, this comes across from your posts. Your man will be back before you know it, and you have so many wonderful things in your life- DP, your boys, your baby. XP sounds like a complete dick splat. I am a believer in karma, and he will get his, one day.

PS I came on to whinge that my new maternity jeans are falling off my arse and it's really annoying. Bit of a first world problem, eh?

Thanks Ice. I'll feel better once I've had legal advice (luckily I can get legal aid) because I just don't know how to fight all this. I just want it all to go away so I can concentrate on my new life with a DP I adore, two beautiful boys I adore and my new baby.
He's doing all this because he can't handle me being happy and "his" children being part of it. He'd deluded himself into thinking there was a chance we would get back together eventually and he's had to wake up and realise that that's never going to happen. I told him so many times that it wouldn't (he kept asking me to marry him for about a year after we separated Erm, no thanks) but I think he thought he could persuade me or if that failed, force me somehow. Sigh.

Legal advice sounds the best thing. It might feel more manageable if someone sets out some concrete steps and positive actions you can take. Make it kind of bite size? Can you see someone today?

Be nice to yourself today. Are your boys at school? Can you do something for yourself - swimming, a walk, a good book and cup of tea?

Yep boys at school but I've got stuff to do that I've been putting off and can't wait any longer. I'm going to spend an hour in bed with a cup of tea and my book before I get on with it.

I'll contact my lawyer today too. Time to start fighting back!

Prambo you were talking about the Michael Le Vell thing yesterday. I don't want to discuss the case, but was wondering what you thought about his admitting he is an alcoholic during the trial, then all the pictures showing him drinking pints of beer to celebrate? Not sure what my point is, just struck me.

Sorry X-post Lyra. Yes, defo time to fight back! Grr!

comms so sorry to hear about your puppy

on people who go on about their children, i don't mind that so much but i do really really really mind when people think their naughty, rude, obnoxious child is cute and can do no wrong. or when they eat with their mouths open or talk with them full.

lyra i did! interesting that there's two options! i 100% agree with you, and i love the gold so much, although not sure how comfortable id be with giving apple my fingerprint haha! the coloured ones are growing on me too! if not you could always wait until xmas time because there'll be so many deals then!

slippers congrats on the scan!! we're still after our twins then!

frank that looks really good, the closest one to us is a way out though, so think it'll be nct for us!

lyra second what ice has said - time to form an attack now, so much harder when your dp is away but not long now! it's amazing how spiteful people can be, but at least it shows you (even though you already knew) how much better off you are rid of his crap!

Grey, I love the gold too. Not sure about the bright colours and plastic casing of the C. Although it's good that they're doing a "budget" option at last. Yes, the £400 version is the budget option

Oh Lyra you poor thing. Firstly, don't worry about how you are feeling affecting the baby - when I was pregnant with DC1 my dad was dying and then died 2 weeks before DC1 was born. DC1 was a very healthy and happy baby and is now a strapping boy.
I'm glad you have access to Legal Aid, it sounds like you know to keep a record of any threatening messages, screen shots etc. All you can do is try to appear as calm as possible and the law should do the rest - the mother almost always has priority in terms of the kids unless there is undeniable evidence of neglect etc. Just remember that the law - and the moral upper hand - is on your side and we are here to support you. You sound like an amazing mother and if he's ranting about you at the boys I can only assume he sounds as deluded and out of control when talking to the authorities, so they should pick up on that. I'm sure they will. Big hugs xxx

Pirates, thanks for that. He's very clever and he knows a court will not take the children from the mother who's cared for them almost full-time since birth (I used to work part time but not now) without a very good reason so he knows he has to make some very serious allegations to stand any chance. But the onus, I think, will be on him to prove his allegations. In the meantime, I'll probably have to deal with more social workers doing "investigations" and speaking to their school etc (sooo embarrassing). no worries on that front - my boys are both doing very well at school, are well turned out in clean uniform and have very healthy eating habits which the head teacher has commented on more than once. They're sociable and popular boys. Certainly not the neglected wretches he's alleging. Grrrrr!

lyra haha yes the cheap-o one , i do really love apple though - our house is like an apple store.

they gave me a brand new phone the other day because mine was playing up a little bit and the apple care/customer service has always been really good if i ever need help with their stuff - i couldn't buy windows/android again! although one of our iMacs has just died completely after many years of loyal service and resuscitations theres just nothing we can do for it anymore haha

And sorry you went through all that with your dad while pg. It must have been very hard.

Grey, we're an Apple household too. I bought myself a shiny new MacBook Pro last year and my boys still use my old white MacBook, which is still going strong after eight years of loyal service. It had to have a new hard drive after an unfortunate wine spillage but otherwise no problems with it.
We have an Apple Store in our town and the Genius Bar is great. I will never go Windows/Android either, though I've been very impressed with some of the features on DP's Sony Android phone. He used to have an iPhone but he defected to the other side, the traitor!

There is so many details that we don't know about the Michael Le Vell case. But for a girl to say that he sexually abused her from the age of 6, it must be somebody who is in his life, i.e a friends daughter, a relative etc.

He has been found not guilty, so there wasn't enough evidence to say beyond all reasonable doubt that he abused her. It isn't really surprising though, considering these are historic claims. It was always going to be his word against hers.

When I was 12 me and a friend were on our local high street. My friend went in to buy something from a shop, and I waited outside with her dog. When she came out she said that a man had grabbed her chest as she walked past him. When we got home she told her mum and they phoned the police. There was a court case as it turned out this man had a history of child molestation. I was called to be a witness at the court case. It was awful. The defence solicitor was asking me details about the time frame of my friend being in the shop. I think I said something like, a couple of minutes. And he started saying, so do you think 120 seconds was long enough for your friend to go in the shop, purchase her items, be groped and then come out and tell you? And I said, it might have been longer. And he basically tied me up in knots and made me feel like I was a liar. I ended up crying and the judge gave me an apple bon bon and let me take a break.

The point is, that had only happened a few months previously and the exact details were already hazy in my mind. I can imagine how easy it would have been for the defense team in this case to pick apart her account.

ahhh, Bake Off. Finally!

lyra hahaha oh the feeling of unboxing the new apple things! i got my mum and granddad iPads for xmas last year (they were both anti-apple as it was apparently 'too confusing'), my mum literally burst into tears and they have both since bought an iPhone, i doubt my mum will get a pc again either now she's seen how long mine last compared to hers, i have turned them! they're so much easier than windows even though people seem to think theyre complicated and i love that it's all uniform across all the products!

dp has also defected because there is a white samsung that is basically an iPad and he's a show off. as much as i tried to persuade him otherwise, traitors.

also hot tell us about your bday!

lyra I'm really sorry that you are going through it with your X. Has he not thought about the impact that the false accusations have on your DCs?

conms so so sorry about your pup. How sad and awful for you.

I am exhausted today. We had a great time telling my bros about the baby, but didn't get home until half twelve. I'm already nodding off at my desk!!

My husband said to me words I never thought I'd hear, as I was getting undressed last night. It went something like 'Wow, your boobs are actually quite big.' Which he then followed up with 'Nice rack!'. He's such a romantic! . Poor DH is really showing his inexperience there though if the thinks mine are 'quite big'!

Half 12 Becca! I went to bed at 8 and I'm still nodding off at my desk! Oh dear, I'm not going to survive with a newborn am I?

grey Whoops! Thanks for all the Birthday wishes everyone

I had a great day. DP was very sweet. We went out for lunch to the place he took me for our first date. He choose lovely gifts, had decorated the house with balloons etc. Then at night time we went out for romantic meal. I had steak (medium) and a small glass of wine, so I was feeling like a bit of a rebel by the end of it!

Then top top it off he brought my birthday cake through to me in bed wearing nothing but a smile.

Unfortunately I was too tired to take advantage of it. The nakedness that is, not the cake. I stayed awake long enough to have a bit of that!

Aah, that sounds like a lovely birthday Hot and your fella sounds rather lovely too!

Lyra, contact domestic violence services and see if they constitute this as emotional abuse. That is the only advice I can give if the police are not willing to see this as harassment and you have no proof of his vindictiveness. Domestic abuse does not simply cover being punched in the face. Haranguing, bullying and manipulation are seen as equally serious.

Owl, I always have a disproportionate amount of respect for anyone who doesn't have a facebook account.

But, Pirates, I don't like to 'hide' people in case they die and I miss a good funeral.

No Lazy Daisy classes near me but a couple of NCT Nearly New sales coming up!

Ice, if your new mat jeans are from H&M then join the club. They're ill-fitting nonsense.

Ice, yes, Michael Le Vell certainly has a drink problem if he sinks nine pints every night but can only get drunk from twelve. However, he is a functioning alkie (he works, maintains friendships, pays his bills) and therefore probably doesn't see himself as needing serious help. Which leads me to my boast of the day...I've been sober three years today!