MARTIANS 2014 - Thread 7: Are you due next March? Do you have wrecking balls for breasts? Getting moist over iCandys? Then come and talk shyte with us..

[PramQueen1971]

Thread 6

Grey - I'm not sure how to discuss when it's left me speechless. WTF??

lyra, jol i think it must be a viral thing as dp sent me it earlier and it has since been knocking about on fb!

I think it's the kind of thing you need to be high to truly appreciate lol.

Yes, Lyra, zip it, please 'cos I'm taping Bake Off!

Jolls, your hair is terrific; sexy and feminine (the absolute opposite of mine )

My farts smell as though a skunk crawled up my arse and died there.

Serious question: Will I get arrested if I smack my child if it is being an unutterable twat in public?

I was careful not to give anything away Prambo

I don't think you van get arrested for administering a reasonable smack but don't take my word for that.

I'm not sure what the fox says but baby squirrels go: 'where's me mam?'

Pram - my understanding was that a 'smack' is ok, but the line gets crossed when it turns into a 'beating'

Question: the very bottom of my back has been sore for days now. Kind of where bum meets back if you get where I mean? It goes right across from left to right but not above or below. What the hell is it? It's not excruciating but I can't ever get bleeding cumfy

Also, thank you and may I recommend a couple of incense sticks to mask your arse odour Pram

Feeling a bit miffed with a woman in our mum's group. She's never been known to organise anything, and has a bad record if flakiness and no-shows. Including one irritating instance where she said she was coming, didn't show and we were all waiting 30 mins for her. She texted later to say she'd been out and her phone battery had died (err she knew she wasn't coming for days?!)

Anyway, she's now trying to change plans that were made ages ago to suit her, no regard for anyone else. Grrr. Might tell her to shove her suggestions up her arse.

Jolls, I never actually thought of joss sticks! I'm rapidly running out of matches.

Ice, do you really want me to tell you what I think you should tell this woman?

Ice yes her arse is a good destination for this time of year. Had the exact same issue with my birthday of all things. I changed the date once for this particular person and then "ohh I'm sorry i can't make it. Can you change it for another date?" eeeerm I don't think so

pram please tell us you insight gather round children

grey love the clip it has to be an instant FB share!!! See spot run on acid

grey dh showed me that at the weekend, reckons it's the next gangham style. It is quite catchy!

Interesting chat again today. I'm with pram in finding people talking about their children tedious, but I'm assuming I'll change my mind about that when I can join in! Still not sure about classes, will have a think over the weekend, me and dh in a bit of an unusual position so have to think about how our experiences might affect things.

F+T sounds like you have been thinking carefully about the whole birthing experience carefully. I would organise the hospital change soon as to be honest, hopefully you will get the home birth you want, but if there are any issues you will want to be in the hospital you feel you will have the best experience in, so you still feel happpy about it all.

Had an OK day, feeling very full as went out for a family meal tonight. Don't normally go out on week nights, but had nice Thai food.

Had awful puppy news :(. No cure, potentially rapidly progressive. Going to disappear for a few days while we make some very tough decisions. Hope all scannage goes well for the rest of the week! X

Oh Comms lovely, I'm so so sorry. I'm thinking of you. I can only imagine how hard it must be to make that decision. Pups are members of the family aren't they. Here for a lot of hand holding if you want it xxx

I wouldn't dream about blathering on about my children to someone who didn't know them, let alone someone who doesn't even have children themselves. How boring for them! I only chat about them with other mums/dads who know them, like the parents of their classmates, or my family - people who are genuinely interested to know about what they're doing. Some people think that because they find their child fascinating, the whole world must too.

So sorry, Comms

Comms, you poor girl, I am so sorry

Lyra, there is a particular woman on fb (not you lot!) who I am thinking of. Her baby is almost two and when she was born and for the first few milestones of her life we were all delighted to see and hear of her progress and I was delighted at this woman's obvious happiness. However, two years on I can't quite believe she still thinks the world is fascinated to see her daughter in sunglasses/chocolate round her gob/asleep in her car seat/on the park swings. Photo after photo after tedious fucking photo. I feel like the child has grown up under my own roof. I would never presume that the world at large considers my child so special that they want to see it every day over fucking breakfast.

I post pics of my boys on fb but only if there's a good reason, like on a special day out/first day of big school, stuff like that. The rellies and people who know them well like it and will comment, the ones who don't care aren't constantly bombarded. There has to be a balance but some people don't see that. Luckily none of my fb friends post excessively about their offspring. I'd be tempted to defriend if they did.

Grey, did you see the launch news about the new iPhone? I'm happy that the 5s looks like the 4s but with the bigger screen of the 5. I was disappointed with the style of the 5, it just doesn't look anything special. And the new features look great. I'm considering upgrading now if I can do it for under £100.

PainauxNatal Hypnotherapy is the english version of Hypnobirthing if you scroll to the bottom of [http://www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk/natalhypnotherapyworkshops.html this]] page it expains the differences. Small but important to me.

Jolls the pain in your back is your body trying to adjust to your new centre of gravity, now your uterus is above you pelvic bone it is starting to change your balance. Saw it on one of those baby stages thangs. I am also suffering.

Comms sorry to hear about the puppy, sad news.

F&T

So much to read, you chatterboxes...

Comms I am so so sorry to hear that. Good luck making the best decision and hope you have lots of support. The best thing is that your pup has been loved by you. Thinking of you.

It's dark outside! Can't quite get out of bed...Scan yesterday and all seems fine. Very active little baby (just the one!) and so lovely to finally see the beanling. Waiting until the weekend when DH is home to tell the kids - that's going to be exciting!

Hope you're all feeling happy and healthy :)

Sorry comms thinking of you.

prambo your friend sounds like a nightmare! Lyra sounds like you have a better balance. I think my dh is planning to have a separate face book group for family (grandma) who will want to see masses of pics of baby owl, and spare the rest of the world! I'm not on face book myself.

slippas congrats on a good scan! It's all so exciting.

Comms, so sorry to hear about your puppy

I have booked myself on the Lazy Daisy antenatal class, the lady got back to me very promptly (still nothing from the NCT despite a promise of an acknowledgement/response within 24 hours) and was very helpful. She has recommended I join her next course which starts in November when I'll be about 23 weeks.

If anyone else is interested this is the main site where you can search for a local class. I like that they sum up their philosophy as:

"We are not here to tell you 'how to' or what is right or wrong for you - but rather to help you discover an array of holistic techniques which can sit equally comfortably in any birth situation. From 4-hour natural labours at home, to mums feeding back on their increased confidence and feelings of empowerment during an assisted delivery, we have an array of past birthing stories ..... any birth choice or parenting style is respected, because you know your body and your baby best!"

Comms that's so sad, lots of love xx

Pram that's what the HIDE button is for, I've hidden so many people of FB for mainly this reason that I probably only actually see a handful of interesting people on there!!

A few days left of summer hols for us, DD is now better and DS is bored out of his brain so I'm taking them to a playgroup this morning then they have friends over this afternoon. He starts school next week and is excited about "having a hundred friends"!

Also [whispers] I think my sickness is easing. 15 weeks today, wasn't sick at all yesterday. Still taking the meds though!

Morning all,
I've had very little sleep because I spent half the night worrying about all the different fronts XP is attacking me on. I've only told you a fraction of it on here because of my suspicion that he's stalking me and reading everything.
He's not only trying to take my children away from me, he's now applied to the courts to sell our home from under us to get his share of the equity, he's been to the police and social services making false allegations (this is groundwork for his custody claim) so I've had to deal with humiliating investigations which of course found no cause for concern, he's involved my gullible mother in his games, he's trying to brainwash the DC against my new partner by telling them he's a "bad man", which they know is not true so they're confused, he's trying to ruin me financially by messing about with maintenance payments, and there's so much more that I can't really discuss on an open forum.
His plan is to break me as punishment for "taking his family away from him". It's all my fault, of course, he did nothing wrong and is the innocent victim
How am I supposed to concentrate on having a healthy baby with all this to deal with and trying to shield my two lovely sons from the worst of what he's doing?
I just want to hide from the world under my duvet but I can't do that with children to care for and a home to run.

Sorry for the moan. It's just all getting to be a bit too much. I really need my man for a cuddle but he's not here