March 2014 - Thread 6 - Spending more time with pornographers and less time with our heads in the toilets hurrah!

[rescoonetwothree]

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Thread 5

Lib, don't apologise; I misunderstood your post. I am quite defensive of my dad, though not entirely sure why Sorry I can't help you with redundancy query but that must be a scary prospect.

I don't think Gazelle needed more than a basic grasp of English in order to bellow: 'Get me some fucking drugs dick splat! And go and locate your eyelids, you seem to have left them somewhere, you weird-looking fucker.'

So...daaaaaaaan saaaaaaarf it's 30 degrees, is it? This is further evidence (if it were ever needed) that London is a separate country to the rest of the United Kingdom (which is what we Northern plebs were led to believe during the Olympics).

It looks as though I am going to have to Get A Job. Where do I get me one of them, then?

Sorry for cluster posting I'm not really but, Becface, what the devil are you doing playing contact sports at this stage?! That was not a wise move. Hope baby's okay.

Today I spent £4 on bags and bags of vampire teeth, traffic light lollies and pear drop lollies

Ooh, speaking of laughter: according to Ina May Gaskin, 'laughter helps open the sphincters'. Great. I'll ask Peter Kay to be my doula then. He only lives down t'road..

Turkey is great, still, would recommend sticking to hotel for food.

Thanks ladies ranting may or may not be over. :)

Rock- department is being dissolved, they didn't know I was pregnant (I was waiting to tell them banging my head against brick wall )
I now have a 6-8 week consultation that will lead to redundancy or taking a different lower paid job if that were possible if there is one available.

That makes me unemployed and unemployable just in time for Xmas. [Hmm]

I got genital warts in Greece and something smelly in Morocco. I got AIDS in Blackpool

Do they sell t-shirts with that on, do you think?

Pram I think its amazing how gracious you can be and how strong you continue to be. Im on phone so must have missed a post when topic changed.

Apart from spitting out my drink at the thought of trained sphincters. What is the dracula stuff for? New job?

Thinking of you Jolls and hoping you see a lovely strong heartbeat... or two

Half the fun of a holiday, for me, is the food. Tis why I'm keen on Greece. They do great big blocks of fried feta. Amazing.

Anyway, it's rather tactless of me waffling about holidays with this redundancy talk! Would you get a good redundancy payout, lib?

Pram. I found my job in the newspaper, since you asked. Is temping work any good?

Today is my 1st day off in about three weeks and having been reassured that there is a baby in there I have turned my mind to essential things i need for the baby. Which has led me to ebay... Man am I befuddled.

WARNING I AM ABOUT TO OUT MYSELF AS A HIPPY EARTH MOTHER TYPE!!

I work in childcare so this isn't completely new to me and I have a good idea of what I will need and what I want, I have decided the only things I will need to buy new is a car seat, cot mattress, maybe some disposable nappies (just in case scenario, as I plan to go reusable) and bottles (hopefully for expressed milk rather than formula). The rest I am happy to buy 2nd hand. I already own a million slings (currently on load to a friend), a buggy which lies flat (currently using at work) and some reusable nappies I have cadged over the years.

I think i need ...

1x co-sleep friendly cot (or looking at hammock) plus blankets (at least three sets) and aforementioned new mattress.

1x triangle knitted blanket to swaddle (Nanny/Great Nan have been dispatched to make!!)

1x ISOFix Car seat with base NEW! to fit in our Altea.

A Billion Muslin squares! For wiping up...

Some more Re-useable nappies, plus reusable wipes, a bag to store them on days out, fleece liners and water wipes for when reusable wipes are impractical. Vest extenders to fit the bulky nappies in.

Oh a bag to put all the gubbins you need on a daily basis with a small person in toe. I am planning to get a back pack type arrangement as I plan to babywear as much as possible.

A Coat suitable for babywearing in the winter/spring. Hoping to combine with a coat suitable for being heavily preggers in the winter.

Bottles (I plan to get tommy tippy) plus steam steriliser for microwave, some form of milk catcher devise for my nipples (very glam) to save myself from wet patches plus some reusable breast pads.

Tops suitable for breast feeding (also hopefully doubling as maternity tops).

Bath dam and baby sponge to lie on (as apposed to baby bath )

1 x change mat

Clothing for baby (this is where I get confused)
I am having a surprise, as someone said to me the other day, gives you something to push for! So needs to be neutral colours.

Now my baby could be so tiny it needs tiny baby clothes or so huge it goes straight into 0-3 month clothes plus in re-useables they will fill the suits a bit more. So I'm unsure what to get.

I recon they will need lots of vests both short and long sleeved (around 6-8 of each).

Plenty of sleepsuits (button up the front and cotton a must, Velour just makes me shudder and preferably with those turn over sleeves to cover their hands if necessary. around 9-12 of these)

2 x knitted cadis (Nanny/Great Nan to the rescue)
1 x cotton knitted cardi with fleece lining (for use as coat for trips in the car)
2x scratch mitts (just in case, although I don't plan to use them)
2x hats (one for when you can't find the other one!!)

I plan to get outfits when they are older as I don't see myself putting our child in 'clothes' until they are 6 weeks at least (which means I can get some gender specific ones).

I guess I will also need maternity pads (yes you guessed reusable ones), disposable knickers (ie. cheap Bridget Jones style ones form tescos that I chuck after one use and NOT maternity ones costing twice the price with half the comfort). Having a home birth I will also need disposable pads to catch 'liquids' with, plastic sheeting to protect everything and a matress protector for the bed.

Things I am thinking of getting but aren't essential

Hiring a breast pump

Stretchy wrap (like moby)

Sheep skin rug for baby to lie on

ready made formula (in case I have trouble breast feeding, in the middle of the night)

baby monitor not sure if I need one... hmm

Snowsuit guess its weather dependant as i plan to babywear and they wont need a snowsuit underneath my coat.

And on the subject of homebirth, hire of a suitable birth pool.

Hire of a tens machine for when I cant be in the pool

Anything else ladies?? Have I forgotten something totally essential ?

F&T

I went to Egypt when I was 5 months pg with DS1. Didn't get sick but I was very careful about where I ate.

DP assures me Turkey will still be warm in November in the south. He says maybe we'll go for a week then, when he's back from his solo jaunt. If he hasn't spent ALL of his money. I'm sure he will have. Sigh.

I got all the way to flippin' Next only to find that none of their stores stocks maternity clothes. It's online only. So I left with two drinking glasses instead I did, however, pick up a card that gives me £10 off my first online order, minimum spend £15 according to the cashier. So maybe I can buy something extra but I'll have to wait for it. I'm not good at waiting.

F&t, def get a breast pump for when you get engorged (it will happen) and a sheepskin rug. I got one for DS2 and it was so cosy and soft for him to lie on.

On clothes, get several sleep suits in newborn and 0-3 months and keep them in the packaging. Then just return the newborn ones if not needed. Don't get too many newborn though - tiny babies grow really fast.

F&T Was just about to ask you if you plan on not using a pram but then I saw you already had one. can't read

Bloody hell faithful, that's a big list. I thought you maybe needed a cot and a babygro or something... Actually, I thought it was way too early to have to think about it atall! We need to do the bathroom and the baby's room first!

Lib depending on your exact leaving date as to what you will be eligible for. Obviously redundancy payout of 1 week salary for each year you've worked there (tax free) then if you're still there at week 25 they will have to pay you SMP (6 weeks at 90% salary, then 33 weeks at £136).

If you are gone before then, you can claim maternity allowance from the government. Same amount but without the 90% salary so just get 39 weeks at £136.

Depending on partner's income you may get tax credits once baby arrives - income is capped at £26,000 per household but the first £100 per week of maternity pay is disregarded.

Hope that helps a bit! Unfortunately it sounds like genuine redundancy, and although you're pregnant they are under no extra responsibility to find you another job compared to the other folks who are at risk.

Sorry for waffling on!

The first £100 of maternity pay is disregarded for tax credits? Interesting...

F&T - breast pads and lanolin cream - life savers!!! DO NOT use Vaseline on your nips

I'd seriously suggest going for the monitor - it kept me sane and stopped me spending every waking moment hanging over the edge of the crib/cot checking she was still alive

Also I cannot recommend grobags or a non branded equivalent enough - and if you do a fair bit of socializing, get the one with a whole for the car seat straps to go through so you don't have to undress/dress a sleeping baby

Thanks Rock. Really appreciate the information.

Faith- I love the list im now going to copy and paste and use it as wedding gift list he he

I'll be unpacking my nursery in 2 weeks time - I'm terrified of how much stuff I'm going to find that I had forgotten about....

I wouldn't normally do it so early - but we're moving house, so it'd be daft to store it for a few months only to have to unpack it all again, when I'll be too big to deal with getting in and out of a loft

F&T, is this baby number two?

I'm very sorry, F&T, but I'm ignoring your list. I can't handle shit like that at the moment. Feel free to ignore my posts, too

Things that I see as newborn essentials:

Pram
Sling
Cot/Moses basket/whatever for baby to sleep
Bouncer (preferably vibrating)
Car seat
Baby sleeping bags (check the minimum weight)

Feeding wise
Breast pump (electric)
A couple of bottles
Milton tablets or microwave steriliser
Personally wouldn't get formula coz if its there it is too easy to use it - can always get some from 24 hr supermarket or labour ward if an emergency.
Lansinoh
Breast pads

Clothes
Sleepsuits - few newborn, lots of 0-3. DS was 8lb 6oz and needed newborn for 2-3 weeks. Get the ones with built in scratch mitts!
Going home outfit if you're bothered (I've already chosen one!)

Don't worry about babywearing coat - maternity coat will be fine for front carries, weather should be better by the time you are attempting back carries.

Don't bother with breastfeeding tops - buy some cheap (£2 from primark) stretchy tops and wear under your normal tops. Top goes up, vest comes down, no boob on show and no expensive impractical clothing!

Duh, and nappies obviously! Don't buy tons of size 1's, DS went straight into size 2!

Pram the teachers come to introduce themselves to the new children, give them a booklet telling them what they will be able to to, with pictures, and a little sheet to fill in like what do they like doing at home, who are their friends, that you bring back when they go on their school visit.

..you mean check out how the kids live and whether the parents are chavs

Check this out! A website with DAILY updates of your baby's development. Fascinating.