October 2013 - Are we neary *there* yet?!

[MrsHoratioNelson]

Welcome, welcome, sit down, put your feet up.

Spreadsheet here

Well I'm 36+4 getting a lil anxious now.
All the first time questions, how do I know it's labour? What will mucus look? What if my waters break in public?!
I had induction with epidural so felt like I didn't really experience labour IYSWIM.

Glad it eased off falcon. I don't think it will be long now before we have baby number two though I hope they hold on to full term. I wonder if anyone else will sneak in before legally?

Glad you feel better Falcon!

Is anyone else suffering terribly with overnight dribble? I've dribbled on and off for weeks but the last 2 nights have been a new level and it's awful!

GT - you'll know it's labour if there's a baby at the end? :o

Chickie - if you're in Halifax then I'll be worried we are sharing parents/in laws :o

Haha badger I dribbled on DH the other day. He thought it was colostrum and I had to admit that no, it was dribble this time. I had lots if extra saliva early on in pregnancy but maybe it comes back now.

pseudo not in Halifax but my sister and brother went to uni there many moons ago!

Good things settled down falcon

How are you tucking

Can't sleep boo! Ds has climbed into my bed and made all these demands and woken me up (no pillows, pull up the duvet, put on the fan etc). What am I going to do when feeding a newborn too??

gt I didn't realise you were 36 already! I'm 33 weeks today and kind of want to go into labour a little early. Have CS booked at 38 + 2 and want to at least try vbac.........

GT - were you induced because you were late last time? If so, I guess you might be late this time? At what stage did you have the epidural? I was induced but still feel I know what labour feels like.... (I didn't gave any pain relief though, just g and a). I think you'll just know tbh... It's fairly unmistakable once it gets going!!!

And thanks ladies for all the support re homesickness

My sister and my father are coming end of October for two weeks so looking forward to that! My other sister might come in November or early new year and my brother and sil will come in early December so not too bad really.

Anybody on here bought an Isabella Oliver dress? I've just bought 2 for a wedding and had to buy a size 10 & 12 as I'm not too sure how they come up (big small Etc) then just seen another 2 I like as well, so to save me having to buy another 4 dresses to see which fits can anyone offer any opinions? Thanks.

Morning ladies, so glad to hear all the positive scan stories from yesterday

Glad things settled down last night falcon
flyer I have 2 which are both a size 10 same as before pregnancy but definitely fit better this time than last (I put on 4 stone when pregnant with DS) so would say it depends on how much non bump weight youve put on. Think sizes are fairly standard but they are forgiving as obviously generally stretchy for bump size. theyre lovely though. are they for a special occasion?
5 hrs sleep again here. Did something very stupid and looked at DH's messages on his phone, thought I was being paranoid but apparently not and now dont really know what to do with the information that hes been sending provocative messages to another woman, fairly sure nothing else has happened bt hes been acting suspicious for a couple of weeks. just want to shut myself up somewhere and cry but hes working from home and DS is super clingy. Sorry to be announcing this just feel have nowhere else to turn. Dont really want to tell anyone in RL because am embarrassed and most of our friends are both our friends. Overall rubbish morning.
Hope everyone managed to get a better sleep.

Oh pinkbuttons
I genuinely don't know what to say, but didn't want to read and run. I've only been in your situation once, and I remember all to well the horrible adrenaline-stomach-dropping feeling which comes with the discovery. I have no advice to give but make sure you look after yourself through the emotional storm. I hope this sorts out really quickly.
Big hugs xx

Oh no pink. You must feel absolutely sick to your stomach. I am so sorry.
Is there any way you could have misinterpreted it and it is innocent? Do you know the person?

Oh pink this happened to me when I was pregnant with ds but I did not find out till he was four months old dh had tell me it was his best friends gf and best friend had found out it was just texts but the lies took a good while to heal our trust again. He said he was scared yo have sex with me and was using it as a release but who knows really he was very sorry and we are very strong now, hope you get answers

Oh pinkbuttons I've been in this situation hun....I'm just arriving at work so will update shortly. I couldn't keep quiet but that's my nature.

However I was unfaithful last year (sorry I bet everyone will think I'm awful now) and my dp found out.

Thankyou ladies, sorry for hijacking thread a little bit. Glad to hear a positive experience falcon My first thought ws how can he do this when Im pregnant but its true that our sex life has declined not that thats any excuse but I expect that will be what he says
Unfortunately definitely not a misunderstanding, she is someone he knew at school she seems actually quite nice which makes it all the worse, she is regularly reminding him hes married and asking about the baby and he has continued with the sexual messages. Havent confronted him yet, to me this is something well get passed but only if he can be honest with me and am just terrified he wont be. Thankyou again ladies. x

Hi natalieand - I found out about my 'secret' baby shower because my dumb-ass husband forgot to log out of his Facebook on our iPad, so when I went to check my Facebook I was confronted with a message between him and my mum discussing suitable dates :-(

Hope everyone's feeling ok today? Not long to go now

Well that is very good that she knows about you and it doesn't look like to would go any further pink.
Less sex may well be a reason but not an excuse and you should into way feel guilty or responsible.
Are you going to talk to him about it today? I imagine he will be embarrassed and defensive to have been caught out but hopefully will realise that it is not on. Maybe he thought it was harmless if just texts and you didn't know about it. I really hope he realises how hurtful it is and stops.

An old school friend? Does feel a little like someone who is looking back rather than forward. X

Oh Pink, what a shit thing to find out. I absolutely agree, I could just about get past this, but only with total honesty and disclosure. Keep strong

Flyer I'm sure no-one will judge you here. We've all made mistakes.

Falcon I'm glad things have eased off, although I don't doubt we are close to the appearance of baby #2 on the thread

Hmm yes Shire. You already have a little boy don't you pink? So shouldn't really be that he is anxious about becoming a dad and looking back to previous responsibility free school days...

I ordered a natal hypnotherapy cd on amazon which has just arrived.

Pink, unfortunately since becoming pregnant I have found dp in a number of "Dodgy situations" shall we say.

First was when i hacked his facebook account as i suspected something and found messages between him and a 23 year old ukrainian girl he once dated briefly (she lives in Kiev) so nothing happened and I could only see a few messages as he had deleted most of them. I was devastated especially as he was telling her 'He chose the wrong girl' meaning me obviously.

second was a stag do to marbella, I ignored a few texts from him, he got paradniod i'd looked at his fb account again (which i hadn't) and admitted to meeting up with a girl in marbella whom was just a friend from years back (she also knows about me and seems a decent girl), and then went back to a party at some girls apartments and had pictures on his phone of two girls in bikinis at 6 in the morning.....

Finally was last week a candiate whom he met at work, he was sending to her for a job I found out via texts he sent to his friend, that he fancied the pants off her and as he put it to his friend "I could have masturbated in my pants in that last meeting, she was yummy, you could have cut the sexual chemistry between us with a knife" Sorry for tmi. He said it was just lads banter, still very hurtful.

Everytime I tell him it's wrong he simply brings up my indecresion last year. I kissed my ex on a trip we did together, then met up with him, nothing else happened.

I was at breaking point this weekend, pregnant and feeling like crap...My parents said they'd help as much as possible financially but I don't want my child being born into a broken home....

sorry for the mega post. I'm also in a predicament....hugs to you pinkbuttons. I say confront him, and try and work on it but it totally destroys your trust, i just hope i can get it back as i've never felt so low as i currently do....

flyer Im so sorry you seem to be having similar problems, and I don't think any previous indescretions should be bought into it now f you had previously dealt with that. Thank you for sharing your experience as well, sending you hugs right back and hope you and DP are also able to start recovering that trust before baby arrives. xx
With regards to the message the thing that hurts the most is that he seems to have made out to her that he only married me because I was pregnant with DS, messages before last week were deleted but she has basically replied to his advances saying "well you shouldn't have gotten her pregnant"
Although its our second child I think he still has cold feet, as life is obviously going to change again. This baby was very much planned and discussed for months before TTC and that confuses me more as DS was a "surprise" and we were in a much more stressful time in both our lives and yet seemed to cope better. I just want everything to be sorted for this baby but don't want to be a walk over and for this to continue in our marriage and potentially go further.
Plan on giving him the opportunity to tell me what has been going on and if not will confront him, hoping to not get too emotional and just keep my calm but we will see, last night I just wanted to cry and throw something very hard at his head. Today I want him to realise what hes risking and how much it hurts.

Rubbish about your baby shower favellio at least you have something to look forward to, but will have to work on your surprised face :)

I really feel for you pink. Ity would be bad enough at any time but you are so emotionally vulnerable when pregnant. A decline in sex life is no excuse whatsoever.

I found out my Dp had set up a profile on a meet-up site a couple of years ago. He said he'd done it out of curiosity and had never actually met anyone or even messaged them. I believe him but I couldn't get him to understand why I was upset and hurt. Men are quite thick sometimes and think unless it's actual sex then there's no harm done.
I really hope you can get through this.

Glad everything has eased of Falcon. I'm hoping that if labour starts unexpectedly that it starts just like in the films with a sudden gush of my waters then there is no sitying around wondering about every wee twinge.

Hugs pink and flyer... That's a horrible position to be in.

Maybe the shock of realising you know will knock some sense into him pink? Good luck for bringing it up with him.

It's none of my business but Flyer, I don't like him throwing up your mistake with your ex as an excuse. It sounds like he's trying to hurt you in revenge.

We did a kind of couples counselling organised by DH's priest before we got married. It was compulsory and I was dreading it, but it was actually really useful, so it's something I'd recommend if you'd consider it. It got some stuff out on the table and made us discuss it which was good.

Hugs flyer & pink xxxxx

You know what Pink, this sounds really odd but to me it's what's said that hurts more than actually finding out if he had slept or kissed someone else.

A one night stand although still totally devastating I could handle better than him having months of communication with some ex or female friend in secret. I believe it's called an emotional affair, and it's the fact that emotions become involved rather than just a fondle under the sheets.

Same here this baby was planned, but he found out about my ex when i was 6 weeks pregnant, and since then all this crap with other women has started.

I really hope you can get through this. It must be awful to read such a message your husband has sent to another woman. I honestly cannot sympathise with you enough. You have to do what's right for you and your children. I don't know if we can get through this, we are both determined to give it our best shot, time will tell i guess.