March 2014 - thread 5 - Dating scans in full swing

[faithfulandtruthful]

Stats thread Here

Link back to Thread 4 for anyone who misses it

I've just been looking at the September 13 thread and they're all huge and uncomfortable and watching for signs of labour. That'll be us in a few months

Getting impatient waiting for friend to drop doppler round. I said I'd pick it up but she insisted on bringing it round so I feel guilty for being impatient.

Pram, are your thoughts any clearer today? It's hard to know how you feel sometimes, and what to do about those feelings.

I know when XP moved out I was gutted -it was what I wanted and it took two years to get him out but it was the end of our family as we'd known it and I grieved for the happy future we should have had but had failed to make. Does that make sense?

MummyPig that's hilarious about the washing up liquid because I have been thinking that exact same thing about mine! Randomness.

There is a May 2014 thread now!! We are creeping up the charts

Rock We don't have a toaster either. I really want a pop tart!

Sarah I've lost a stone too. I've not even been sick that much but the nausea has made eating really hard. I think it makes the fact that I'm pregnant really obvious though as I've lost weight everywhere apart from my stomach. Have had a few people comment while staring at my tummy knowingly.

Nomaybe thats the ones, you plop them in between your lip and your gum and they dissolve over a course of 1-2hours. I think im going to have to try them as there is not mych I can keep eating without feeling awful dreadful. Worth a try and if tgey dont work then ive lost nothing!!

Cant remember who said about milk as gone past that page, but I cant stomach milk at all :0 ( so instead im gonna have to wait till hopefully after the nausea has gone. I was the same with ds and in the second trimester I could stomache it and it actually helped with hearburn. So lets hope all our sickly moments will fade into non existence! !

Lyra, yeah that makes total sense (you always do). He has gone out walking and I'm trying to work out whether I'll miss him or not when he leaves. he works twelve-hour days and is away all day Saturdays 'til 8pm visiting his son so I spend a heck of a lot of time alone. Has he enriched my life thus far? Well, he's funny and clever and adores me but has been deceiving me for over a year. The secrets and selfishness makes all the good stuff pale into insignificance really. I'm damned if I'm going to become one of those women who stays with a rotter simply because she's scared of a future alone. But is he a rotter? Or is he a good man who has done some bad stuff (that was a rhetorical question; I don't expect anyone to know the answer to that)?

Pram im sorry I dont know whats happened to you and your chap? I couldn't read that far back without my eyes going gaga on this phone!! Sounds like your having a lot of a bad time at the mo. Its such a tough thing to way up when thinking about relationships so I really hope you find the path that is just right for you. Big hugz

rosy which one is it? Mine is tesco blackberry and fresia one. Urgh, makes me shudder whenever I have to wash up.

Pram how long have you been together? You know that with little Pramette in your tum you're never going to be alone again, don't you x

If I were you, Pram, I would give him one more chance if there's any chance of you salvaging your future. But he'd have to seriously up his game and I'd be watching him like a hawk for some time till he'd earned my trust again. At least that way you'd know you'd tried everything rather than having regrets about what might have been. Just my opinion.

Being on the brink of losing everything will have been a major wake-up call for him. I doubt he'd risk it all again.

Thanks, Abi & Lyra. Lyra, how do I let him know I will give him another chance without actually forcing the issue? He skulks around the house and has made his plans to leave. I really don't want to have to go: 'Erm..before you leave..you do know I'm willing to give you another chance if you do x,y and z, don't you?'

Pirate, we've been together two years, since leaving rehab.

When is he due to leave? As an outsider I can see why, after going through the bleakness of addiction yourself, you'd be doubly worried about the risk of it in your orbit. Hwvr if there are things he could do to salvage the relationship, and you think you could move forward together with him doing those things, then you maybe should just tell him. Men are IDIOTS - my DH will often say "well you only had to ask," if I'm in a strop about him not doing something. Things often don't occur to them and he may well be thinking "she wants me out, she says she'll never trust me again, so there's nothing I can do apart from skulk around, maybe she'll develop a thing for skulking, you never know...". Honestly, IDIOTS.

I used to do silent sulking in our fights, the old "I'm fine" but said in a voice that you think conveys you are not fine. However, DH hears this and thinks "she says she's fine, so she's fine." I now set out very specifically what is required of him!

You can start a conversation by asking how he'll change, because whether he is with you or not, he'll have to. That might ease you into a "if you did XYZ then we might have a shot at a future as a family". But it's your way or the highway. Here have a and a think about it.

Good news, my lovely friend who is a nurse and recent preggo vommer is driving over with her left-over cyclizine! I've had it before so know I'm ok with it. It will tide me over until tues

How do you think another letter would go down? I'm not much of a letter writer, so i might be talking rubbish as i wouldn't. But it was how you felt able to express your feelings before? And would mean you could have a couple of tries to get the tone right without saying stuff in the heat of the moment.

Pirates that makes sense - I really have to spell things out to my DH as well. There is no reading between the lines and he takes me quite literally as well. I just spell out my needs now. Also find men have a bit less initiative (or maybe that's just my DH).

Hope the meds help Pirates.

I had a big fat snooze this afternoon - when will this tiredness ever lift?

Pram, you could go in with something like "So that's it? You're going to move out without fighting for our relationship."
Then if he says "what can I do, you want me to leave so I'm leaving."
That would then give you an opportunity to spell out what he could do to make it right.
I dunno.

Men are like children in that they tend to take us literally at our word. Subtlety is wasted.

pram could you not go right back to the start?? Let him move out but tell him there's still a chance? You want to be together and be a family with this very precious baby but he has to earn your trust again. Start slowly and build on it??

I'm just about to put my boys to bed. We've had a fab party and the house now looks like toys r us. I'm exhausted. Once they're in bed I'm going to treat myself to a fridge fresh necterine. My craving. As for milk, I'm not a fan but a did eat a whole some Angel delight the other night!!!

Chicken risotto for dinner tonight. The boys have been nagging me to make it for days.

What's everyone else having?

Just felt baby doing gymnastics!

That's so lovely Lyra!! How far along are you now?

We went out for lunch and I had a wild boar and chorizo burger. It was amazing. Though I am feeling pecking again!!

I think I have a strange DH in that he knows me too well. Even if I say I'm fine he knows I'm not. Go figure.

Prammy did you come to a decision? Whatever choice you make will be the right one. If that I'm sure x

Cool I'dlove to not be tired!!

Nomaybe, 13+5. I've been feeling movement for a while but very sporadically. I'm looking forward to feeling regular movements, just to remind me that there really is an actual baby in there

Lyra! I think it will be a long time before I really believe its a baby and not just a balloon in there

I do sometimes actually forget. Then I realise that my fat tummy and tiredness has a cause

Crumbs. Your advice was brilliant, all of you who kindly gave your wise words. I went with your strategy, Lyra, because Pirate's post described him to a tee and I knew he had resigned himself to sackcloth and ashes and moving out. He cried when I told him I was frightened of being a single mum but even more frightened of trusting him again. He said he will go to Gamblers Anonymous or Relate or anywhere I felt was going to benefit both of us. I said we'll do both. I told him to google phone numbers and appointment times and that this week we need to open a joint account.

I told him the counsellor will need to help me let go of the sadness and betrayal I feel and help me to trust again, if that is at all possible. I told him he needs to think about what he expects to gain from the sessions. I told him to expect gamblers anon members to thrash him if he tries to suggest he is not addicted. I told him they won't tolerate denial but he knows that. He kept wanting hugs and to touch me but I'm not ready for that yet. I'm relieved that a decision has been made (and that I can keep Sky telly) but feel strangely deflated. Oh, and I don't fancy him at all...