The PESH are getting busy and looking out for a cluster diff!!

[pinkr]

blonderthanred, boy, born 26th October 2012.
FriendofDorothy, boy, born 14th December 2012.
QueenRollo, boy, born 21st January 2013.

Need dates:

Rollerbaby, No pink here, expecting boy due March 20th 2012
IveBeenExpectingYou (CockDodger), A very active baby girl, due March 28th 2012
Silver, hoping for an easier sneeze, due mid-July 2012
Starryeyedmole, regretting recently investing in scales
cakeandcava approaching walrus proportions, DC1 EDD 21/10/12

LazyMachine (38) DC1 EDD 9/2/13
CamelKnees (34) fat and fatigued DC2 EDD 22/04/2013
HaveALittleFaith (31), Faithlet arrived 14.04.13
fertilityFTW (34) date needed.
pinkr, (33), any day now!!, DC1 due 22/08/2013
Jethro (36) head in the sand Edd 071013
Frankel (32) nauseous and knackered Edd 4/3/14
Noks - info needed
Sinky - info needed

Done my best - apologies for any misinformation or omissions!

Glad miniJeff and crazydog are behaving Jeff

I am under no illusions about baby/study in combination. I gather washing will be an achievement for the first few weeks (months!?). It's GHJ who thinks all will be peachy.

Speaking of whom, he's refused to let me accept any donated bits and pieces from family and friends. Including a free unused travel cot and isofix base, so nothing massive or controversial.

Given we need to save cash (both of us are on reduced wage due to studies), I think is is daft. He thinks it's too early (wants to wait til feb before getting anything. I'm due mid march and mum never got beyond 36 weeks..). How long do I let him continue this?! Suspect it might be a bit of male ttc woe hangover. I don't think he believes this baby will get here ok...

Hmm. Do you have a kind friend with a garage that would let you store some donated bits, so they can be whipped out triumphantly at a later date?

Not really, not that GHJ wouldn't speak to, and I don't really want to dupe him iyswim. But I may be driven to it!

I just like to get plans in place, including the long planned kitchen repairs(!), but that's nagging apparently.

Men. Shesh.

Aww, jeff, that's lovely :) and no, it doesn't feel very real yet, though slightly more than it did last week!

That's awkward, sinks. Any chance he'll warm up to the idea of planning/shopping in the next month or so?

Hmm, tricky one Sinks, have you tried pointing out that there are likely to be lots of sale bargains around Christmas/January? I get his nervousness about buying things, but the 20wk scan is a big milestone, and a good marker.

Turnip has been very active today, plus HWHNN felt his first kick this morning

That's great frank! I occasionally get a big kick and GHJ felt one, but doesn't believe it as it was too big! I can feel him lots, but the big kicks are few and far between and he's not caught another, yet!

Don't know about the buying of stuff. We need to sort out the kitchen, spare bedroom (and obvs the box room-nursery to be). We've agreed to get a new car with 5 doors. We need all the stuff associated with a baby (although a friend has just done a supermarket sweep type thing in John Lewis at 35 weeks, so less bothered about that...). Oh and the pram/travel system.

Draf, he agreed to car shopping in nov back in sept, but now is saying cars will be cheaper in feb once the new plates are out. So won't look till then (even though we could pick a car then "pounce" on a deal if we knew what we wanted!). Everything is "next year". Sigh.

I would like to have a small whinge.

I am due back at work a week tomorrow and I am starting to worry about how I am going to get everything done. The Mister says 'Oh I will help you, you just need to tell me what needs doing". This pisses me off for two reasons 1) it is bloody obvious what needs doing and 2) when I ask him to do something he accuses me of giving him too much to do.

Since I got up this morning I have been constantly busy, preparing lunch for my family, cooking, washing up, hanging up washing, sweeping the floor, tidying up, cooking baby food etc etc. I asked The Mister to do two things whilst I was at church, do the recycling and mop the kitchen floor.

He told me I was giving him 'loads of jobs'. I rest my fucking knackered case.

Sympathies. But no solution I'm afraid (ghj - clean the bathroom does not mean put some bleach down the toilet then congratulate yourself on a job well done)

There must be a solution to men who just don't see mess and can't predict need - like no clean pants or food (I assume that's the problem?)

Is a cleaner a possibility? I know "going on strike" would have no effect in this house except for driving me slowing insane before I suffocate under a pile of mouldy bread and dirty socks.

Dor, could it be an idea to write down a day to day list of what needs doing, and get him to divide the jobs up? So that he sees in black and white how much needs to be done, and when so you don't need to tell him, and how much you do?

Good idea, winks. And to avoid the "cleaning the bathroom = bleach in the loo" way of thinking, perhaps a sub-list for the bigger tasks?

I have tried the writing down everything than needs doing trick. The problem is that we have different ideas of what needs doing and what doesn't!

I would love a cleaner but we definitely cannot afford it at the moment!

Do not "give him jobs to do". That implies that he is helping you with jobs of yours that you have delegated, rather than him taking responsibility for his fair share. He should not be allowed to have the "helping" attitude, you both work so home and parenting must be fifty fifty.
instead, sit down one day and agree on what needs to be done and when. Devise a weekly list, ie change beds every monday, mop floors Wednesday and Saturday, and a daily list (clean loo, stick a wash on, etc)
divide up your list fairly. Make him take ownership of certain areas. These areas are no longer your responsibility. He does not need you to tell him to do them, he has a list he has agreed to. You can now forget about these things. You may need to lower your standards a bit at first. Don't worry as Kim and aggie are not coming to check. If the bathroom is hygienically clean who cares if he put non matching towels in it. People with jobs and a baby tend not to have a spotless home. But if his jobs are manageable he has no excuse for not doing them off his own bat. You need to be very very clear that you expect the household to be run fifty fifty.

disclaimer- i do not have such a list but i have low domestic standards and A is good at doing a fair share. I also don't work. We do have our different jobs though, laundry is my job, cooking mostly his, that sort of thing.

Morning differs, hope everyone had a good weekend. I've got my first antenatal class tonight, so looking forward to that - hoping I stay awake!

Dor, sorry you're having issues with The Mister, I agree that a rota of jobs for the week might help, though unfortunately in this house that still means I do the bulk as HWHNN is not here Monday-Friday!

Bloody hell Frank - antenatal classes?! I've not even looked to see when they run here - thought that could wait till next year!

Eek

Mines not NCT Sinks, it's Lazy Daisy. It's a 6 week course and the next one doesn't start til mid-Jan which would be cutting it a bit fine if Turnip decides to show up early!

We're also allowing time to do a couples workshop in the new year, partners aren't allowed at my weekly class but that doesn't make a difference to us!

Ah! Have had a look at nct near me, and I have the choice of a full weekend of classes (16hrs!) or spread over 8 weeks from jan. I'm thinking 8 weeks might be better to make friends?

Not sure what else is out there. How did you find Lazy Daisy?

All the nct classes near me are booked up!

Some people are too organised....

Any suggestions hags? Have inquired about cancellations and asked I'm provisionally booked on one that seems foolishly far away to get to in rush hour traffic...

I googled antenatal classes in my area and this one came up. I looked at NCT but they were three times the cost and I'd heard a few things about them that put me off slightly.

Here's the Lazy Daisy website you can search for classes in your area.

We had classes at home with a private midwife. Two 2 hour sessions at home. Very relaxed and she was lovely. NCT wasn't possible with my work. The only thing I felt I missed out on a bit was the social but I've made friends with people through a baby music group.

The other parenting website is good for local class and group listings.

My local NCT is already booking courses for June and even JULY babies! Madness. I too am a bit put off the nct though. Based on what I've read on MN and the people I know irl who've gone, I suspect I'm not their sort of person. Too much of a cynical smartarse.

I did NCT. Met some nice women but the content was a bit meh. Could have got it all from a book. Also BF session was shit.

** Disclaimer - I am bitter about it all.

Why jeff?

I just booked my booking appointment I got a short one in two weeks' time - the next full-length one they had was 4th December! My dating scan is 9th December so that would probably be cutting it a bit fine... I had no idea it would be that tight for space, clearly everyone IS a differ round here

Why bitter, jeff? My friend who did NCT classes said they were rather Noddy level and not very helpful, but then she is a GP so ought to know more than most people.

I did local nhs classes. Totally free and quite adequate. Four 90 minute sessions. Not all woo, covered induction, section, pain relief and all that. Bf session was not the best, a bit of outdated info. Attending a LLL meeting is s good way to get bf info, they don't mind you going while still diffed. I didn't want to fork out three hundred quid for nct when i knew i was odds on for induction and listening to hypnobirth music in a birthing pool was almost certainly off the cards for me.