Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

[HazleNutt]

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

I think that's a lovely name Cavort. We haven't discussed names in ages, OH constantly refers to bump as one of the names we liked so I think as far as he's concerned he's decided but I'm not committing to anything until I've met her. Get the impression nobody likes it either which is surprising as its a very popular ordinary name. Have tried to avoid telling most people but the few who have squeezed it out of me have then not really said anything and my Mum was downright rude

Purple that's going to be a challenge if your DH has already mentally named her and when you see her and don't think it's right for her.

I have to admit I am guilty of unintentionally mentally thinking of her as Elodie for a while now, although I have never actually referred to her as that and if DH really couldn't get his head around it we would have to come up with something else. The only other one we both like is Amber but we both also agree that we don't think it's the right name for her, which is a bit strange given that we both like it. I spent hours on Nameberry but struggled to find more than a couple that I liked.

I'm happy enough with that name really, it was my idea! I think it's just everyone's reaction to it that I'm finding difficult. The bigger issue in our household is agreeing on the surname. We both just keep avoiding that argument

Elodie is one of my favourites and would be in top 3 for us if I was having a girl.

Ours will be Victor, we're both happy with the name.

Purple that's why we haven't told anyone because I didn't want anyone's reaction to cloud our judgement while we are still deciding. You MN ladies are the only ones who know

Once we are definite I might start telling people just because I am sick of getting asked!

Lovely names all of them. I like Amber (it's also my cousins middle name) but not sure DP would go for that as he's more traditional. Purple are you arguing about surname as you're not married & you want baby to have yours too? This suddenly occurred to me the other day that bubs would have DPs surname but nothing to show it was half mine or to distinguish from my SS really. We will get married eventually as nothing against in principle but I'd like to still use both names.

Oh & DP managed to 'accidentally' tell his second best mate when drunk at cricket even tho we're "not telling anyone till the scan"! TBH I reckon him & his wife might have been speculating when I was driving at a party we went to (it occurred to me after that I hadn't moaned enough about it) so sober cricket just confirmed it for him. I'm def telling my best mate with the newborn when I see her at the weekend now - I can't see how I can feasibly get out of drinking otherwise if I stay over with her anyway.

Frog I double-barreled when we got married and baby will have both surnames as well. Might be an option for you too?

Oh I love Elodie - it's on our list! That doesn't mean much, so far we have about 15 girls and 15 boys names on the list, and I've only really got up to F in the baby name book! Haven't looked at it for months - really ought to start putting some thought into this one....

We aren't married but I think we are going with baby Hisname Myname. It's really important to me to retain my family name. Cavort, Elodie is lovely.

I only got one day off this weekend and spent it crushed with tiredness! Feeling like I just can't catch up enough with rest at the moment - waking in the night to wee (which I never normally do) isn't helping either. Luckily this week I will be working a little more at my own pace/from home a couple of days, I need to try to gather some strength before next weekend's wedding otherwise I'm going to have to spend the whole day lying down!

Elodie is lovely! So is Victor! we are pretty much decided on Harvey Sebastian or Savannah Brooke, my mum doesnt like Savannah/Savanna but we've tried it on a few other friends and its had a good response so I think those are 'the' names. Baby is having my OHs name, I hate both our surnames so poor bubs has nothing good to inherit there.

Thanks for the heads up re the outlet store, I'll investigate!! Always keen to save a few pounds! I read a good article yesterday saying it is worth making and freezing some meals prior to baby arriving as you're unlikely to want to/have time to cook in the early days, thought that was a fab idea!

I sent my small list of essential items to a friend with a kiddy asking if all these items were must haves and if I needed anything else, she sent me back a list three times the size of my original....eeeek.

I can see I had better start saving even more frantically! The plus side of DP telling his mate was that they immediately offered a car seat apparently that they still had & DP said that we would not be too proud to accept anything offered!

So the drama of the day is, midwife is pretty certain...baby is breech. I KNEW I shouldn't have joked about it! Some days I wonder what else can go wrong, refusing to worry about it at this stage though.

Yes surnames issue is down to not being married, our names sound silly double barrelled, we are planning in getting married but I would still like to keep my name as I prefer it and I already changed it by deed poll when I was 18 so don't really want to change it again. OH understandably would prefer us to all have the same name but I really would rather keep my own. Not sure what the answer is on that one!

can OH take your name then?

We sorted our boy's name last night funnily enough! We're married and like my new surname so no issues there BUT DH likes the idea of using a family first name as a middle name. Which is lovely apart from the fact I'm really not keen on his dad's (awful!!) or uncle's names or any others he suggested! Then I thought of using my dad's name as a middle name which brings some of my history into it too, and we both agreed that's a nice name and goes well with our fave first name. This is all for a boy as funnily enough we're both sure it's a boy - will be so funny if it's a girl! We're doing girl's names next weekend - I could spend HOURS talking names but I'm sure DH starts thinking about football after an hour or so.

Good attitude about the breech purple I hope it gets into position for you! There are things you can do to try and move it aren't there, not sure if they work or are myths, but maybe worth a shot?

Hmmm my DP is dead against double barrelling when we've had hypothetical discussions about it but I actually have a very plain & boring surname so it wouldn't sound ridiculous. In fact it's so boring that I'm really not that bothered about keeping it if we were married but somehow when we're not I don't want the froglet to have a totally different name to me. I know that's quite common nowadays but it just doesn't feel right. For example, it would mean that his ex (who still goes by Mr Frog's name) would have the same name as our child but I wouldn't.

Oh purple poor you. Nothing seems to be straightforward! So you must be 34 weeks tomorrow? I think I've read that up to 34 weeks they tend to turn by themselves - so I'd imagine you're in the territory of hoping it changes pretty soon! I think I've also read that doing bottom in the air positions several times a day might be able to help, although with anything like this it seems, not sure if it is proven.
If things don't change, I guess they might refer you for ECV. Have you read about it? Personally, it's something I think I might refuse, but might be worth reading up on it just in case it's something you have to decide on. But will keep everything crossed in the meantime for you!

Am impressed with your organisation alex. Crap, we really do need to get our arses into gear over this one!

PS sorry to hear that purple. Still a bit of time for it to move yet though right?

I've reached my 6 week point today & no sign of the dreaded MS yet & in fact feeling pretty chipper and trying not to worry about lack of symptoms. I did start with the sore boobs at the weekend though & even DP thinks that they have got slightly bigger. Got a scan booked for two weeks time when I'll be 8+4 & it's seeming a lifetime away.

Don't worry frog - I had absolutely no sickness in my first 12 weeks whatsoever. I was worried about my lack of symptoms in the first trimester (didn't really have any) but at 33 weeks all is still well! Count yourself as one of the lucky ones

There's someone in my other antenatal group on here who just had her baby (3 pushes!!!) and she was breech at about your stage purple but then the baby did turn on it's own, there's hope!

Janey plenty of time (again, hopefully!) for you with names - I just love thinking about it (secretly had lists when ttc!) I THINK we'll keep it a secret, mainly as a surprise for people, but also as am now a bit worried about negative reactions putting me off, like a couple of you have had!

One thing I think is good to bear in mind is how the name will be shortened, as in most cases they are, so you've really got to like the short version (unless it's really short already) - does make it harder! One girl's name I like for example, I don't like one of the shortened versions.

Oh and yes frog so many people have said they didn't have many symptoms when I was freaking out about mine!

frog don't worry about the MS, I didn't have any either.

As for names, one of the reasons I double barreled is that DHs last name is extremely common in this region - I can understand that you're not that attached if every second family shares it. My last name on the other hand is very uncommon, so I want to keep it.

frog fret not, I didnt have MS either, had a bad bout of indegestion which made me sick but apart from that I've been very lucky!

Yes, 34 weeks tomorrow so baby is getting a wee bit big for flipping over but I'm keeping the faith. So between eating curry/pineapple/raspberry leaf tea etc to encourage baby to come out early, I'm also now going to have to stand on my head or lord only knows what to try to get her to roll over as well, could be an entertaining few weeks!

Janey - is ECV the thing where they try to manually turn the baby? I've not really read up on any of the breech stuff yet as this is pretty new news. I'm not totally surprised though as I've had a very wonky bump for the last few days with a big bulge sticking out my left side (looks really odd!) and we've been poking and prodding it in the hope it felt like a bum not a head even though it's really hard but nope, head it is! So my bump is measuring quite big, but that's because I have a big fat head sticking out from under my ribs which is probably knocking all the measurements out. Midwife also confirmed there is no way the MLU would even consider having me (visions of me banging on the door in labour saying 'let me iiiinnnn' and them saying no!) so hospital it is. She's going to do her best to get me a bit of time off the monitors as a negotiation for being a good girl and going into the hospital and if the birthing pool is fixed by then she said she'll try to arrange so I can spend some time in it but will keep having to get out again regularly for monitoring but she reckons that's the best she can do. I'm coming to terms with that (what I mean is I'm over my tantrum) so fingers crossed now that the baby shifts round so I don't have to have a section - induction and monitoring doesn't seem so bad compared so every cloud!

I did suggest to OH that we could all have the same name if he changed to mine, he looked horrified and refused, which rather backed me up I felt because that's a bit how I feel about changing mine. Plus, my name sounds nicer, so ner.

Sorry about the epic post just had an eventful morning.

p.s Absolutely loving 'Froglet' made me chuckle.

Thanks Janey, Alex, Hazle - it's just worrying when drs console people with dreadful ms by telling them that's its a good sign so you can't help but wonder if the reverse is true! Yesterday evening I did get the weirdest lower abdo pain though - can only describe it as like internal pins & needles very localised on one side!

Hazle mine's not just regional - I have the most common surname in the UK!

Frog - I'm pretty sure they say that just to make the poor people who are puking their guts up feel better I didn't have proper MS either, I was pretty queasy for quite a few weeks but no actual upchucking thankfully. I also got all manner of twinges, cramps and stabby pains, I think it's fairly normal as everything is stretching and changing in the early stages. You still can't help but worry at every weird twinge though can you!