Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

[HazleNutt]

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

Frog I had nausea from about 6 weeks then sickness from about 8, so these poor sods people who start retching when sperm winks at egg aren't all that common...

Ah the name game We're also unmarried. We've settled on Baby Hisname, because we'll all have the same name at some point, and tbh I never thought of it any other way - even if something terrible happens, DP will still be the dad. My parents have kicked off about this, big time.

I really wanted to have Mysurname as an extra middle name, but DP has vetoed this because he thinks it will end up double-barrelled and confusing. There is baggage here as his DS started out life as Hisname (possibly Hername-Hisname double barrelled), but XP changed it formally to her name only at one point, out of spite.

As a compromise, he's agreed to let one of my family names be Baby's middle name.

Re first name... We have an either/or name that I love for a girl (and would work for a boy) that we're loosely agreed on but he likes a different boys name better. Thing is, I don't like it - I thought it was fun for a moment or two, but really couldn't live with myself if we had a boy and called it that. DP ocassionally refers to bump by that name... eek.

We had fun in Mothercare yesterday, bought a bumper pack of bodysuits (I still don't know what the difference is between vests, bodysuits, babygros, sleepsuits etc) and a cute 8-piece set. Thing is we had a panic about sizing - 'newborn' said 10lb!! I checked at the till in the end that it did mean 'up to 10lb' and not from 10lb.

Frog there's time yet for MS to kick in, mine started at about 6.5 weeks. If you are unfortunate enough to get it you will be cursing the day you wondered why you hadn't got any symptoms!

Boo for the breech baby Purple. The Spinningbabies site does seem to have some good turning techniques though so probably worth a look.

The constant backache is most annoying actually. Hotel we were in on Friday night had one of those spa baths in our bathroom which was just bliss given no longer allowed in jacuzzi at gym. I used it Fri evening & Sat morning but made sure water wasn't too hot (which I think is the reason jacuzzis are banned right?). If just jets & bubbles are bad for the froglet too then I give up reading any more pg dos & don'ts! Froglet will just have to be tough!!

Purple don't panic about breech at the moment... check out www.spinningbabies.com and have a go at some inversions if possible.

But they can still move - I've been panicking as mine is still preferring transverse, flips sideways every night without fail, though is currently sat with either a head or bum just below my ribs.

Was researching this last week and they said MWs etc really start to worry at around 36 weeks (when there's less room for maneouvre).

Re ECV - I think I would refuse one, unless they were automatically going to go straight to c-section straight after. I have an anterior placenta therefore am higher risk for bad things arising from an ECV attmept...

Lol Frog there are so many dos and don'ts! I've found somehting fun... whenever I have a warm (not too hot) bath, Baby Bear goes really quiet, then eventually wakes up. We think that the heat maye sends it to sleep. A very useful tactic to know in advance

Bear - same here, DSS had a 'family' middle name and OH's surname but his Mum removed middle name and changed surname to hers when they split up (when DSS was still really young) also out of spite and I think OH is still really hurt about it. Which makes me feel a bit guilty, which is the one thing that's stopping me putting my foot down and just saying that me and the baby will have my surname. It's a really difficult decision because he's not being really difficult about it but I know deep down he'll be quite hurt if we don't all take his name but I'm torn because I really want mine don't know what to do, argh!

So is anyone else going to spill the beans about their names or are you all keeping them secret? We won't judge around here!

OH who is far more organised than me We ordered a few different bits online yesterday including a very cute bouncer thing. Still haven't organised anywhere for the monster to sleep but she's going to have a very cool vibrating chair. Priorities and all that

Yes it is the heat they're against with jacuzzis, apparently it can make you faint.

I've found that when Little Cat curls up against my tummy and purrs, mini monster falls asleep, very cute but probably against guidelines to chuck the kitten in the moses basket with the baby to help it sleep I'm guessing

Right, must do some work, you lot are far too distracting!

Arrrgh. Don't know why I'm worrying about ms & twinges when there are much worse things ahead. [where's the emoticon for wtf have I done & I can't even reach for a ?]

I did get a cuddle with DP's 7 month old great niece on Sunday though. Poor kid always has a dummy in her mouth though. DP & I may not be agreed on surname but we do on no dummies!

Ah yes, the wtf have I done? stage of pregnancy, I find this is a recurring symptom, though it was more common in the early stages I do still get fairly frequent relapses.

I go through phases of 'baby, yep, I can do that' then 'Ha ha ha, baby, yeah, like they're going to let ME be responsible for another person, this is a WEIRD dream' to 'baby? oh holy hell, was this really my idea? What WAS I thinking?'

I'm hoping this is normal

I hope so too Purple! I had one of these yesterday. Mainly centred around the 'holy maternity pads batman, I've got to get this baby out' theme. DP is now getting used to these and is becoming increasingly brilliant.

It ended up with me saying 'but what if I poo, you'll be so embarrassed, I'll have let you down'... to which he replied 'I won't be down the messy end so probably won't see anyway... but if you do poo you won't care by that point, besides which it'll be hilarious!' - I didn't agree with this but he made me laugh and he said 'see, if you can laugh about it now, it's going to be fine'.

He got lots of points for that

Ah brave your DP sounds fabulous! Mine is pretty bloody good, including ignoring my current anger over absolutely nothing, but I have to say he says "yeeeesh" a LOT when we talk about childbirth (whether natural or elcs). He's a bit squeamish but I think he knows when it's ok to be a bit grossed out, and when he doesn't.

So just packed hospital bag (home early after weekly midwife check). I say bag, but it's actually one for me and one for baby . I thought it would be ok, but maternity bags take up a LOT of space, as do towels, and my hospital say to bring in the latter for you and baby... Starting to feel even more real now currently got head firmly in sand over imminent-baby related panic

Re hold maternity pads robin comment!

Holy even. Grrrrr.

Ha ha, that's sweet Bear. My OH KEEPS telling me he doesn't want to go anywhere near the messy end and he doesn't want to cut the cord or anything. When I say 'keeps' telling me, he's reiterated it about 6 times in the last couple of weeks. Uhh yeah, think I got that part by now. I get the distinct impression that my big tough man's man is a bit squeamish about the whole thing!

The thing that has been making me chortle to myself all day is due to our rather disastrous attempt to DTD last night. Not in itself funny and as you know, my sex life since I've been pregnant has been pretty non existant because OH is freaked out by it all but our first attempt in a while failed because because he completely put himself off because 'it's too weird thinking about hitting your daughter in the head with it'.

So my warped sense of humour has been wondering if I point out to him that we now know his daughter's head is wedged under my bloody ribcage and that even in his wildest dreams he's not THAT well endowed if I can actually get some sorry, I've got a wonky sense of humour and it has been a while

Ah purple that really made me laugh! DP is now at the stage of being a little freaked out by it too, so I think I'm in for a few boring weeks

Janey How did you get on with the MW?

I have a big sports holdall for the labour and birth and then a medium suitcase packed for if I have to stay in hospital for a while. And I thought I was being really good for just packing essentials.

When I attended my Nephew's birth, even if you plan to avoid spending any time down the goal end I found it was impossible to avoid it completely, so I think we are all being very wise to prepare our men folk for the inevitable blood/gore/poo which they are very likely to witness. I was talking to a friend the other day and I think she summed it up perfectly in that, for a man, attending a natural birth is on a level with watching his favourite pub burn down.

That and the fact that when I went to provide a sample for the midwife I realised I could no longer see under my bump to know where to put the pot so had to use guess work to aim and got wet fingers in the process it's not very glam this pregnancy lark is it but at least it's providing a few chuckles!

OH has two weeks to get over his phobia then he will be required to perform as part of the early eviction campaign. Failure to do so will not be met with the quiet sympathy and cuddles he's had thus far.

Purple so near yet so far! It's worth a shot, right?

Very impressed and a bit scared by your hospital bag packing Janey. This is actually going to happen isn't it!

And DP is definitely coming into the home straight strong despite some rocky very shouty moments early on. Like your DP Purple he's very squeamish and has said he doesn't want to cut the cord - I'd like it if he changed his mind, but respect him if not. I'd really like it if he was the one to tell me it's a boy or girl tho...

Re nearly DTD... we had our PG friends round Saturday night for Eurovision and at one point, she revealed that she'd asked her fella that morning if he was still attracted to her 35-week pregnant body. To which he said no! But he then piped up, 'yeah but we have had sex twice today so it's obviously not too much of a problem is it?'.

Me and DP just looked at each other slightly aghast, as I was seething insde with jealousy!!

Purple I'm surprised your OH isn't going for the same tactic as mine in 'helpfully suggesting' that he's heard that ingesting semen is more likely to start labour off than firing it at the cervix. Nice try, sunshine.

Nooo Cavort please don't say there's no way of avoiding the business end, I think I feel even worse than DH about him seeing my blood/core...poo! Maybe I will let him go down the pub instead like he keeps joking about!! Friends have told me I won't care at the time, but it would take a LOT of pain to make me not care about that, eek!

Lol at wet fingers Purple! That's not what I was referencing re 'give it a shot, btw'

Oh gawd, you're all organised, you've packed! I haven't even probably bought half the stuff I need yet! So come on then ladies, tell me what I actually need so I can at least make a list.

All the lists I've seen printed in things like the bounty magazine things seem ridiculous so I rolled my eyes and put them in the recycling months ago. I realise now that may have been slightly foolish but I need a 'cooling mist spray' for my face as an essential? really? I sincerely doubt it. Can I have the down to earth really real list please?

Alex apologies for the TMI but i'm sure it will make you feel a bit better when I say that the poo was not solid and was only in small quantities, which the MW cleaned up immediately without drawing any attention to it. The only reason I knew it had happened was because she (the MW) was asking me to pass her things. Not ideal, I know, but it could be worse.

My OH asked me the other day, in all seriousness if I wanted my Mum at the hospital with me as well when I'm giving birth. As if that wasn't bad enough when I said are you fucking crazy I'd rather poke myself in the eye repeatedly with a sharp stick no, he suggested that maybe I'd like HIS Mum there instead?

Do you think he thinks he's actuallly going to faint and wants someone else there with me or is he actually mental?

Purple I had to get mine sorted ready to take away with us last week just in case baby decided to make an appearance while we were away.

My list is;

dressing gown
flip flops/slippers
nightie/pj's
big pants
maternity pads
breast pads
clothes for going home
hairbrush/make-up/wash bag/toiletries
towel
lansinoh cream
snacks/drinks
pillow
lip balm
phone charger
camera & charger
cordial & drinking straw
sports water bottle
maternity notes
entertainment - books, mags, laptop with films on
change for parking
notebook & pen
moist toilet tissue
nursing bras x 2
battery fan
lactulose
jug for pouring when weeing
lansinoh latch assist
cold compress
tankini
misting spray

For Baby:

nappies
cotton wool
small water bowl
bepanthen
vests
sleep suits
hats
scratch mits
bibs
cardigans
nappy sacks
blanket
fold up changing mat
muslins
vaseline for meconium
baby wipes