Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

[HazleNutt]

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

I might wait until 28 weeks and do it all then

Which reminds me, the cat people on here, are you putting nets over the baby's cot in case the cat tries to get in and smothers it? Not sure if I need to do that or not, my cat rarely sleeps on the bed and snuggles (prefers a spot on the floor) but it does do it now and again.

Are any of you getting a Fathers Day card/gift from baby? I usually get one to DH from DSD as her Mum never bothers despite us always getting her a Mothers Day card and gift from DSD, so I will stick baby on it as well. DH didn't get me anything for Mothers Day (nor did I want anything) but it just seems a bit more real now the birth is so close and I guess there's an unlikely but slim chance baby might actually be here by Sunday.

Alex no, I'm not planning to use any cat nets. My parents always had cats and they all stayed very far away from noisy wriggly babies. Besides, if ours really decide to get in there, a flimsy net won't make a difference.

I'm not bothering with any anti cat nets Alex because they look flimsy and totally ineffective to me and if a cat did jump on them surely they would just collapse into the cot and be even more dangerous?
I also can't see most cats wanting to go anywhere near a screaming baby and I think as long as you keep an eye on things it should be fine. I do think most of the talk about cats smothering babies is unsubstantiated hysterical nonsense mostly spouted by people like my in-laws. But that's just my opinion

I reckon both my cats will run a mile Alex. They're not keen on an 8 year old so they'll probably leave home when baby arrives.

I've had a bit of an emotional day today as it was my last day in one of my offices. My boss hasn't been able to send round a note saying I'm leaving though as he hasn't had the ok from above (I'm part of some centralised cost cutting plan) so I have had to tell everyone i work with individually. Almost cried when telling my secretary & felt so bad for my appraisees who I really look out for. I've also had to tell them I'm pg to stop them feeling quite so bad for me or giving me reassurance about how I'll easily find a new job!

We've told so many people now (including SS & DP's parents) that I was feeling quite confident but then I looked on the Jan 14 thread this evening & saw that my local MN buddy (who I'd been exchanging PMs with as we share the same GP practice etc) had posted that her scan showed a MMC despite a previous one being ok. I am now so worried. I know that the risk is 2-5% between 8-12 wks but thinking I might pay another £60 for a 10 week scan next week.

In good news tho DP's parents told him to stop being neanderthal about the surname & he's agreed to DB on the birth certificate (with his name first!). He says we don't need to use both names in non-official situations but I think he might find it popping up more often than he expects

Oh Frog that's really sad about your buddy. I had a friend of mine who had a MMC at her 12 wk a few days before I had my 12 wk, and it did shake me up a bit. I think it's natural to be anxious, but just remember that just because you are anxious it doesn't mean bad things are going to happen, if that makes sense - our anxiety is totally disproportionate to the risk in most cases, which is really small and most likely everything is fine (and this is from someone who did have a MMC the first time round - can you see my CBT was effective!!?)
Anyway I know it's really hard not to be anxious, and its also really hard being anxious. Hopefully in a few weeks you'll be out of 1st trimester horridness and able to relax a bit.

Thanks Quod. Not helped by DP being out tonight as he's usually very good at being rational with me. With the work thing I think I really have had my share of bad luck recently so I (irrationally!) think I don't deserve any more. Oh but we did have an offer accepted on a house today so that's really good news too. It's got playrooms converted out of loftspace off the two kids bedrooms, a slide built into the garden, an OFSTED excellent primary school round the corner & everything . Just need to get Froglet to the finishing post to use them all!

Sad to hear about your friend frog. Those things happen but you have to remember that the risk at this stage is already very low, don't panic! Easier said than done, I know..

Great news about the house! Sounds lovely.

Hey ladies, original berry bunny here! Just popping in to say hi, most of my chums here from the original thread must be about to pop so just wanted to wish you well, hope everything goes to plan! Pop in and tell us what you get

Hey hey lovely bunny! How are you? We often think of you all, and hope that more of you come to join us soon. Yes lots of us are huge now. Hazle is due first, then cavort, but looking like I might just jump the queue a bit!

Hoping all is ok with you all - everything crossed for you that you get your good news soon!xx

Hi Bunny, Nice to see you! I'm guessing that what's we'll get is pain in labour and lots of it!

Sorry to hear about your friend Frog. Statistics are really in your favour now you have seen a heartbeat but I know it's impossible not to worry. Great news on the house though, it sounds perfect.

Apologies in advance for my self-indulgent non-pregnancy moan this morning.... yesterday at 4pm our Painter & Decorator finished the landing, stairs and hallway and left it looking great. At 8.30pm I had a bath and when I took the plug out the weight of the water collapsed the plughole into the waste pipe which then came away from the bath, resulting in pretty much the whole bath full of water draining through the bathroom floor and through the ceiling in our newly-decorated hallway. I had a mad 20 minutes where I tried to bail as much water as possible out of the bath and into the toilet while running up and down stairs with towels and buckets but it didn't really do much good as water pissed through the ceiling and ran down the walls and through all the electrics. DH was away with work last night so I was on my own with this. Never a dull moment

Of course when I phoned DH he assumed my flapping on the other end of the phone meant I was in labour and was relieved when it was 'only a flood.'

Oh my god Cavort what a nightmare! I would have wept.

Bunny nice to see you - send regards to the other Berries and we hope to see you all over this way soon.

Oh cavort, poor you! Just typical that it happened after the decorating, not before Hope it's not too horrendous and can be fixed...

DIY wise I do feel like we're starting to get somewhere (sorry purple, feel like I'm letting the side down saying that). The house is still an absolute state, don't get me wrong, but it's beginning to feel like it's getting better, not worse.... Fingers crossed we don't have any more leaks though hey...

Argh cavort poor you, what a nightmare, you sound like you coped with it well! Is that covered by insurance/warranty of some kind?

Feeling so sick and tired today, DH got in from a golf trip in Spain at 3am (his plane got delayed) and I don't think I slept properly until I knew he was back. Am going for my lunch to organise my mat cover plan today, whoopee.

On the bright side, my bump is really growing now! Exciting times. Can't believe people are so close to giving birth! A friend of mine posted some pics of her new baby and her in hospital just now, no name yet. Can't wait to quiz her on the birth! She went the the local hospital I decided against so am curious about what her experience was like.

Oh and hello bunny! We only met briefly on the ttc thread so you might not remember me (I was one of those annoying people who showed up then got a BFP five mins later). I actually tried for 15 months before getting my BFP, just wasn't on that thread yet. Anyway hope you're all doing ok, and lots and lots of luck x

Morning all - oh my, drama agogo here

So sorry to hear about the flood cavort - I am amazed at your apparent calmness. Really hope you can get it fixed up - will that be an insurance job dyu reckon?

Frog that house sounds awesome, how exciting! Really sucks about your job though (and news of that MMC - try not to dwell on it and focus on your froglet).

I really have nowt to moan about in the face of everyone else's dramas, suffice to say my boss is driving me to distraction - literally did nothing yesterday apart from swan about at random meetings while I did everything else. It's truly truly insane. Really want to let rip about how bad she is to our big boss, but am trying to not be unprofessional, and someone always said that slagging off your boss is career suicide so am quietly seething and/or ignoring her.

My only whinge is a sore arm from whopping cough jab yesterday, and a crappy night's sleep as Baby Bear snuggled its head in and around my pelvis. I think though this could be a back-handed positive - had very mild period-like pains, a bit like round ligament pain low in my bump yesterday, so think that the bottom of the bump has grown a bit and taken placenta northwards. Afterwards, I could feel punches right at the bottom of my bump for the first time ever, so every cloud eh?

At antenatal class yesterday they said that 80% of babies are born after their due date.

And Janey babies can still move a bit... my friend had a head down baby for weeks before due date, but suddenly went sideways in last couple of weeks and ended up with an ELCS before due date. Think I was reading on spinningbabies that a twisted uterus could cause that or some such other gynae problem eg fibroids could cause it to disengage and flip round, so don't sit with your legs crossed!

Mostly though, these moves are temporary because the head is the heaviest part and gravity works!

Thanks guys. I am laughing about it now but last night was a bit testing. Alex we will have to wait until it dries out before deciding if it's an insurance job or whether we can patch it up ourselves. FX it doesn't look like it's drying too badly at the moment.

Good news on the DIY Janey. I'm glad your builders got their arses into gear.

The pregnancy App on my phone today says, 'Welcome to week 38 - is it time to think about circumcision?' I assume it's an American App rather than one recommending circumcision for me.

Hi bunny!

Cavort wow you had an eventful evening! Murphy's law, of course it happens after you have decorated. Well, still better now than after the baby.

News over here - DH reported that the air conditioner I ordered just arrived. Good, it will be 30 degrees tomorrow and I really can't sleep when I'm hot. Hope it works well and is not too noisy.

The colleague I've told you about, who had all possible pregnancy complications, has had her little girl this weekend. The little girl was 4,2 kilos. Ouch.

Cross posts Brave.... hooray for baby being head down meaning low down punches and sudden nocturnal discomfort.

But boo to another one whose boss sounds like a total arse. How DO these dickheads get promoted into these positions?

Oh yes, we also had a couple in our antenatal class from an Asian country where I guess circumcision is common. They asked about it here and teacher gently warned that while it can be done, the insurance won't cover it and it is not exactly approved or even generally considered acceptable. I'm very glad DH is not from a culture where it's common, there would be some very heated discussions.

Another cross post Hazle. Yes definitely better now than after baby but I did think we might get more than 6 hours out of it before it got trashed!

Air conditioner sounds like heaven. It's not that hot here but I am constantly too hot in bed at the moment.

4.2 kilos - ouch indeed! While in the bath last night (before the drama) I was having a good old prod around of the bump and I suspect mine might be quite a decent size despite smallish bump. I hope not too big as we only have babygrows to fit up to 10lbs. Lots have people have told me that labour/pushing isn't any harder with a larger baby so not too freaked out at the prospect of a big 'un!

Agreed - someone would be cutting off part of my newborn's penis over my dead body without a decent medical reason!

Love the circumcision question - must be American. It shocks me a bit that it's so routine over there (for non-religious reasons).

There's an interesting pan-European anti-circumcision swell (excuse the phrase) for any non-medical reason at the moment. Hasn't Germany recently banned the practice on religious reasons?

Re father's day... DP didn't get me anything (tho mum and DSS did, bless them), so probably won't get anything per se. Tho if I see a cute 'I love daddy' babygro between now and then I may pick that up.

Someone on another thread suggested writing 'Happy Father's Day' on the bump, which I thought was a nice compromise, so will be digging out some eyeliner and praying my mirror writing skills are better than I fear!

Cavort, that sounds horrendous! I really hope it looks ok for you when it dries out.
Good news on the house Frog, it sounds lovely.

I'm a bit pissed off today, I'm not sure if it's my hormones making me unreasonable or not but I suspect I've got a right to feel a little upset. I'm part of a very small team, there's only three of us, I've been here nearly 6 years, we're quite a close team who know each other very well. My boss is on annual leave on my last day in work (Friday) so last week we talked about the three of us going for just a quiet goodbye lunch with just the three of us today. Nobody has bloody mentioned it since and my boss is merrily munching her lunch across from me. My other colleague I haven't heard from. Clearly nobody cares and we're not going. The last girl that went on maternity leave from our very small, close knit team two years ago got a fecking party thrown. I'm feeling a bit bloody unloved.

...and it's my 'handover' this afternoon, they've left it until the last minute and half heartedly booked some time in the calendar for a handover, I'm inclined to tell them naff all as if they really wanted to make sure I imparted my wisdom (as the member of staff who has been here the longest and actually knows what she is doing) they would have asked me sooner. WIBU to think bollocks and be spectacularly but politely unhepful?