Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

[HazleNutt]

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

was reading some articles and threads about what nobody tells you about labour and other useful tips, and some seem quite odd. Like 'don't take your pre-pregnancy jeans as a going home outfit, they probably won't fit.' Well of course, they haven't fitted in months. Does anybody really think that you squeeze the baby out and lose the belly, water retention and extra fat as well, all in a minute?

Then again, my totally reasonable friend helpfully advised to pack big knickers for those big pads, and not thongs as she did

at thongs straight after birth.

My friend forgot to take a going home outfit so her DP helpfully took her a pair of size 10 pre-pregnancy jeans. I would hope the pregnant woman might realise she will need maternity clothes to go home in.

What do you mean I won't be back to my usual size 8 the minute the baby pops out!

at thongs! I'm not even wearing them anymore now, it's all about the French knickers and pregnancy comfort!

Midwife app went well, she said my iron levels are good which a relief as I don't eat meat. Only thing was my blood pressure is low but she said not to worry about that too much for now and it's better than very high. Have my cervix scans next week. Talked about the birth and the midwife said lots of people do have positive births so try not to worry about all the horrific ones I hear about! We talked about natural vs elcs and I think I'm going natural (eeeeek)

Good news on your appt Alex did she try and find the heartbeat?

If BP is low, make sure you're drinking plenty of fluids as that can help (and if you're dehydrated it'll definitely be worse!). And don't stand up too quickly either... (been there done that )

No stretchmarks here either yet I got a couple on my hips when I was growing up and I don't think I'd mind if they were on my thighs or hips - just not keen on my nice tummy going tigery. Would really hate it if boobs got hit when the milk comes in . Have been using Asda Little Angels stretchmark cream as a moisturiser (only £1 and smells and feels really nice) and trying to up intake of fluids as well, but if they're gonna come, they're gonna come.

I don't think my mum got many (always a good indicator apparently) and even if they do appear, they will fade. DP has always been quite sneery about stretchmarks, but the constant mantra of - there's nothing you can do about them - seems to be paying off. Plus the fact that I pointed out he's got quite a few faded stretchmarks on his back which he never knew about has made him a bit less judgey I think!

Just had 34-week check with GP - baby head down but not engaged, though he reckons it won't turn around now - we'll see! Also got some free gaviscon , stabbed with a whooping cough flavoured needle (didn't hurt at all, but now arm is a bit achey and I keep feeling a bit weak and shakey) and everything is ticketyboo.

Poor DP was up all night with acid attacks - sounded exactly like me! He eventually caved and had some gaviscon and has just admitted that it worked perfectly lol. Bless him. Beginning to think maybe it's sympathetic symptoms lol

Glad to hear all scans and appointments are going well.

I need to talk to the boss because I want both more money and probably to work from home for a day or two right after the mat leave. And I don't want to ask for both at the same time, of course. But salary discussions are not very pleasant with her, a colleague tried and instead of listening, boss started telling him all the reasons why he does not deserve the raise, most of them quite absurd. Even then, it's never so great for the mood to hear what you don't have and what you can't do and why you therefore don't deserve more money..

Should maybe scare her a little first and leave some job search pages open on my computer

That's a good tactic Hazle can't hurt, right? Sucks that your boss is so unresponsive, does she have some deep-seated psychological issue that means anyone asking for more cash totally pushes her buttons (ie she wants more money but can't ask for it)?

Definitely good to do some research though

Hazle YY to job search open on desktop and maybe print several copies of your CV to a printer near her and 'forget' to collect them? Seriously though, good luck with your chat. From what you've said before she sounds like a bit of a beast.

Alex my BP has been on the low side all the way through as well. Nothing to worry about according to my MW and hasn't caused me any issues.

Yay for babyBear getting his or her head down!

The decorator just caught me asleep. And the dog has paint on his tail.

Good luck with the salary convo hazle she sounds like she's great for boosting morale!

Don't get me started on bosses though. Just had ANOTHER lecture about how it's important clients don't find out I'm pregnant, we need to find a solution

Over lunch tomorrow for my mat cover (I'm only four months!!), how hard it will be. She even implied I got pregnant at a bad time for one particular client. Give a shit! I just nodded and said breezily "it will work out, I'm sure". Which is a bit annoying but I've decided being breezy and having a stress free attitude is the only response for it!

Why can't clients find out you're pregnant Alex?

Because we don't have an "elegant solution" to the mat leave "problem". And she also said she doesn't think I should go abroad on my holiday in two weeks as it doesn't sound like a good idea due to my pregnancy, more likely to "pick things up" abroad (it's only Spain!). Now this might be me being massively cynical, but I don't have Internet access in Spain and do in the UK so I wonder if that was behind her concern!

yes, how inconsiderate of you alex that you don't take your client's schedule into account when having children.

'Elegant solution?' What kind of twatty buzz-word-which-means-nothing is THAT?? What a total cow. Unless all your dealings with clients are over the phone, how exactly does she propose to cover up your soon-to-be-massive belly?

Yes you are more likely to pick things up during a nice break in Spain....like a burning desire to not go back and work for her!

I bloody hate your bosses Alex. Start wearing a pillow up your dresses and then your clients will know soon enough!
According to my consultant, lower blood pressure than normal is usual because all your blood vessels dilate - hence they worry if it goes up I think?
No stretch marks here yet, but have been on a daily bio oil routine (know it makes no difference but think it can't harm) and for last couple of months it's been twice daily followed by cocoa butter in the mornings. My mum has LOADS so am properly worried about it, even though I know it's just genetic. Pah to my shitty jeans. Vaguely hoping that having the baby between 38 and 39 weeks might help?! My cousin didn't get then until she went overdue...

Lol at 'elegant solution' - seriously, is she David Brent in a skirt? On a serious note, that's bordering on discrimination... No client is going to freak out over maternity cover - this is the real world.

Of course, there is no way your replacement will be as good as you , but surely this is where your boss 'mans up', acts like a boss and finds a way of dealing with things that will work, not by throwing a childish strop.

I'd seriously consider talking to a union/HR/her boss asap. She's way out of line!

As to the holiday, does she ban all employees from going away on the offchance that they 'might pick something up'. What about CenterParcs, isn't that supposed to be a flu farm too?

your replies really made me laugh! She comes out with some real David Brent's! She isn't happy about my cervix scanning either but I actually couldn't care less for once!

What the hell has your cervix got to do with her?! Do you mean not happy you're getting it scanned at all (why on earth not?) or not happy you have to have time off work to get it done?!

Actually, isn't this the same woman who was totally judgemental about me going to Dubai and Thailand when pregnant? She's a nosey imbecile if you ask me.

Baby seems to have moved - bump is significantly wider than it was yesterday?!

Was baby head down Janey? Do you think s/he's moved to transverse? I thought baby didn't really have room to change position after mid-30's weeks.

I assume your boss hasn't got any children Alex?

Not sure about baby not having room to move - mine seems to shift position a lot, the possibly head down was a brief passing phase and yesterday was almost certainly a sideways baby day. Almost constant hokey kokey going on in there today so hopefully she's wriggling in the right direction.

Alex your boss sounds like an utter twat. You're being very calm about it.

She just made a comment about in her day, they didn't do all these scans and why do I need to have cervix scans as other pregnant people don't. I explained (again!) it's because of a short cervix after having some of it removed and concerns about it holding up. I'm not going for the fun of it!

janey what does it mean if the baby is transverse? Is that good/bad? Maybe it's engaging?

Oh and did you mean 'genes' not 'jeans' above janey? you've got baby brain too!

Oh she can bugger off!!! Stupid cow.

I thought they didn't move much either but it absolutely did. Not for long though - it's back to normal (although no sure if head up or head down!) now. Even my dad noticed - said from across the lounge that my bump was lopsided and very wide. Perhaps this is how you get stretch marks so late on!! Took photos for DP as it looked so bloody weird....

If you have an elcs Alex position makes no difference. If you try naturally it's critical though obviously!

No NCT class tonight for the first time in weeks... So we're all off to the pub together instead. All excellent parents to be, clearly

Please please tell me I didn't make that mistake?! Ashamed of myself

Oh and someone asked if I heard the heartbeat today - I didn't but she said they prefer not to do it at 16 weeks as sometimes it's hard to find the heartbeat so it panics people? So I haven't heard the heartbeat yet! Not long until my 20 week scan now though and sometimes I can see the baby bobbing around in the background on my cervix scans

They said the same at my 16 wk appt Alex. We begged though as I'd had a bleed a few days before, but only on the condition that we didn't panic if she couldn't find it!

Yes not long until 20 week scan - it's lovely. And then the shopping can begin!