Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

[HazleNutt]

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

I just don't think most men are particularly cut out for supporting women in labour because there's nothing they can really do to help. They regress back to being cavemen and would rather be out hunting a wild boar while it's all going on.

Thanks Cavort, I've ahem, got just a few bits at least half of it still to get looking at your list but it's very helpful!

I can appreciate that sitting watching someone you love howling in pain when you can't help must be really difficult, but not as difficult as being the one screaming, so frankly, they all need to man up!

I'm sure there are things on my list which are not essentials but i'm hoping most of it will be pretty useful at some point in the whole process.

Yes I agree, after 40-odd weeks of pregnancy for the benefit of the continuation of his genetic line, the least he can do is get his ass out of his cave and bloody well mop my brow while i'm shitting pushing!

According to my MIL my DP wasn't even expecting SS to appear from that orifice so at least he is slightly more prepared this time. He hotly denies this.
Glad he's not the only one with DTD issues - he described how it would be like assaulting his child when I asked if he'd still DTD when I was huge. Given he's not managing it now when it's just a tadpole I'm not holding out much hope. Perhaps he's worried about dislodging it at the moment & will be better after the 8 wk scan.

At assaulting his kid!! Men are weird.

DP has flat refused to but the cord regardless of how I give birth. I think he might pass out, or worse, be sick if I made him.

Alex at my NCT class the teacher said the poo was inevitable, but you wouldn't notice. She said it was a result of not only the pushing but the baby squeezing it out on his/her way out. She said the midwives are very discrete and whip it away before you can tell. Isn't that why you have to take your own little fishing net do water births - to whip poo out of the water?!

Midwife fine thanks cavort, but am more set on elcs now. Looking like I wouldn't be allowed to get near due date due to BP and will be classed as high risk too, hence no water birth (which would be my natural birth option of choice, and which I've been thinking about more and more). Selfishly I'd like them to recommend and elcs so the decision is out of my hands, but the way things are going, it seems like everyone agrees it would be a good choice for me...

Oh and frog - I'm not called your man specifically weird, mine is def included in that group too!

um, frog, from where exactly was SS supposed to be appearing from according to your DP?

Janey what date are they likely to recommend for you? Are you the frontrunner to produce the first Elderberry baby?

Assaulting his child? Hilarious! Ahhh men, they are strange creatures at times aren't they? Mine certainly is.

As things stand 38-39 weeks apparently, although could change according to BP. Don't think I'll win the race, but might just get a podium place

But I would need you and hazle to be very overdue for that to happen - and hope for your sake that you don't!

With my luck I fully expect to go 2 weeks overdue Janey, which takes me to the 10th July, so babyJaney will probably put in an appearance before mine.

I know we've all said that we probably won't be letting anyone in RL know when we go into labour, but is anyone going to spill the beans on here to us cyber people? After chewing the fat ever since my BFP it seems right to update you while in labour, although i'm not sure I want regular rundowns from others of how much agony it is!

Sure, I would let you all know when it happens and what agony it is.

I'll definitely try to let everyone on here know minus the graphic details, especially if I end up being in there for days I'm going to need the company! After going through everything together it would seem odd to not at least give you a quick update.

By my reckoning Hazle should be first which is only right as she's due first, then me Cavort and Janey could all be in a race for second place assuming Cavort is maybe a few days/ a week late, I'm on time as unless my bloods change they'll induce at 40 wks and Janey is a week early induced at 39 wks it could be a close run thing!

we're due just days apart and in reality, the babies could come weeks early or late, so I can't promise to be the first. Will try though.

Haha I think he might have thought that they opened up the belly button ! I can't think what else!

When you lot are busy sharing labour pains on here me & those trailing way behind will just stick our fingers in our ears & go lalalalalalalala. I refuse to watch OBEM for that very reason!

Anyone ahead of me, feel free to lie about the birth being a walk in the park! Still can't believe that birth story in my other group - 5 mins and THREE pushes and she was done!! So lucky.

Has anyone heard about the new SIDS study, they're now saying sharing a bed is bad. I was going to buy a cosleeper cot so trying to work out if that counts (as technically they're in their own bed, it's just attached to yours)

alex yes, I read it and as far as I understood, this only applies for actual bed-sharing - sleeping in the same room is still the safest and co-sleeper means that the baby is sleeping in its own bed.

frog, I watch OBEM sometimes - giving birth certainly looks ´..somewhat uncomfortable, but not really that bad. Certainly not as bad as some stories we all have heard (or read here). In fact, it looks quite manageable.

Agreed hazle - have read around this morning, and think it's the risk of overheating or suffocation from sleeping in the same bed that's the worry. If they're in their own bed at the side of yours, with their own covers (and it's impossible for you to roll on top of them) it looks like the risks are the same as if they were in a moses basket next to you.

Hazle I really hope you give birth first as I can just imagine you reporting back half an hour later, "Pah, it was a doddle. In fact I was teaching body combat until I was 8cm." It will be motivational for me as I am a wimp the rest of us.

Personally, I can't see how a co-sleeper is any different to a moses basket or crib. It's still not like the baby is actually in your bed.

cavort that really, really made me laugh - I bet hazle is teaching body combat between contractions! Can just see her putting all the midwives through their paces on the ward

Can I just say - I'm not loving braxton hicks at the moment. Seem to be getting them all the time, and whilst they're painless on the whole they are a bit uncomfortable. Although having said that it happened the other day whilst I was being hauled up from standing up from the sofa, and it was a teensy bit painful... So much so that I couldn't stand straight for a minute or two and had to say oowweeeeeee. Wasn't bad at all, but certainly wasn't painless, as I'd been told they would be.

Perfect as really liked this cosleeper a friend has been using so wanted to order that! Baby would have it's own mattress, cover etc (do you put a cover over a newborn?! So much to learn!) and I want to get one of those sleepyheads cushions so it would def be very separate to my bed even though it's attached.

I'm having fun winding up DH that I really like an awful name instead of the boy's name we've chosen and can we call our baby it - "as I have to give birth, I should get to pick the name" hehe

Ps ouch janey!

Morning all. I want Hazle's boot camp tactics at my birth I reckon to make me pop it out quicker & efficiently!

Rather randomly DP brought up the surname thing last night - he's adamant it has to have his name & doesn't see why it should include mine as well. Issue was parked for a later argument date.

Decided I'd had enough of the DTD drought by this morning & sent him text saying I needed to DTD & didn't he. Reply: don't want to harm baby! Me: baby is 0.5mm long. Reply: my knob is bigger than that!
I really hope he is joking & his grasp of female biology is not that poor! Perhaps I'd better find some pics off Google?!!

Oooh I've just been the the osteopath and it was actually quite nice.This pregnancy is working wonders on me, I'm so over my fear of needles already (good job as i'm a once a fortnight pin cushion) now it looks like I'm dealing with my dislike of strangers touching me.

I realise that makes me sound odd but I just hate being touched by people that I'm not close to, particularly if its accompanied by semi nakedness, I think I have an almost phobic reaction to the thought of a spa day type scenario and if you're one of those people who randomly touches people's shoulders/arms when you talk to them I'm the one no longer listening to what you're saying as I'm mentally screaming 'argh! Stop touching me!'

No idea if it has done my back any good but it was very soothing and he didn't make me take any clothes off and i didnt mentally whimper 'nooo bad touching' to myself so I'm happy though £40 poorer

ok I'll see what I can do about bodycombat - moving around when in labour is recommended after all.

Alex I think the SIDS advice is not to put anything in the cot, no pillows or covers or quilts or blankets. So gro-bag I guess? Someone also said it's better for feeding, as the baby stays in the warm bag and is not woken up by cold sheets when you put him or her back into the cot.

I got this co-sleeper: www.amazon.de/FabiMax-Beistellbett-Babymax-Matratze-PROTECT/dp/B009WQFPJ4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369126252&sr=8-1&keywords=fabimax