The 3rd Gemini Luxury Bus

[Librarina]

I thought I'd get our shiny new thread started, welcome.
Previos Thread

I also thought I'd include our little round up of who is having what, when...feel free to update, there's only a few of us so we shouldn't end up drowning in Stats!

kittykats : girl
JoJo: boy
Bringon: girl
Frust: boy
Blending: one of each
Lib: surprise - 1st baby - EDD June 7th
Lor: surprise (for now!)
Ohtheplaces: girl - 1st baby - EDD June 5th
Peardrop: boy

Just got back from my first NCT group! It was... interesting! I was very much the 'hippy' of the group. I was also the youngest & all the others had children of 2.5 years or older. I just kept quiet while they were all talking about pain relief! There was one v 'yummy mummy' type who clearly thought I was insane! They were all v nice though! I'll have to try not to talk myself out of going next week. I enjoyed it but somehow by next week I'll have decided they didn't like me & I didn't fit in & they'd all be happier if I didn't go back...! I have issues!

jojo you'd like my local breastfeeding support group, it's v hippy, and baby-carrying. (Or at least it used to be) I found it scary since the group I went to with dd1 was full of the yummy mummy types, it never seems to be both

I'm BaaaAack! OH EM GEE. Most amazing time ever hanging out with hippy midwives!!! Squee! I can't believe it's already over, but it was beyond words. This baby got so much attention at the conference.... a Navajo blessing from Sister Morningstar (plus her laying her lovely head on my belly to hear the heartbeat with her actual ear), belly painting, lots of talking to, midnight dancing, phew I am exhausted (and of course she is just happy chugging along and kicking her little heart out). Pix on my profile!

Welcome back bring WOW at photos! Is that the position of baby? That's so amazing. You have such a neat round bump.

Such lovely pic Trumpets, glad you had a nice time. I love the baby outline, it must make all the bumps and wriggles make sense, mine feel weird and abstract.

I would be grumpy at having to go back to work today after my birthday fun, but who can be grumpy when they only have 20 days left!!!!

Yay! Bring is back... Now I don't feel like a lonely hippy! Love the photos! That belly painting is fab. I'm v jealous! Did you learn lots of interesting things or were you too busy having your bump blessed & painted?

Wow bring that's amazing, I want to be painted!! You are a very yummy mummy !!!
What class are you doing Jojo? How many? I'm sure they don't think they'll be better off without you, I like being in groups with a wide range of ideas it's good to hear different prospectives

I'm doing a re-cap class for non-first-timers. It's only 3 sessions & there's no social event organised for the end of it so I only actually have to spend 2 more evenings with them. I have a tendency to get scared when I meet new people because I convince myself that they think I'm weird & won't really want me around so if I try to be friends with them then I'll just be making a nuisance of myself. I had major issues making friends as a teenager & I'm really having to force myself to get passed all that. At one point I thought I'd settled into a group only for one of them to ask me to 'fuck off' because noone liked me! Really pleasant people at my school! Ever since then I've tended to stick to 'safe' church people because I feel like they have to be nice to me, even if they think I'm odd! I decided it's time to get out of my bubble & meet some non-church people who don't just exist on MN! I will force myself to keep going & I'll probably suggest a meet-up once mat leave starts but I won't suggest anything after that so noone feels obliged to spend time with me if they don't want to!

Welcome back Bring. Sounds like you had a fab time. The painted-bump photo looks fantastic. What a beautiful reminder for the future.

Librarine 20 days??? So jealous. I still have six weeks although I still have some holiday to take so am going to book a few mid-week days off between now and then to break up the weeks a bit and give me a mid-week break.

Cheers ladies! Yeah, that was the position that she was in at the time. I learned SO much, Jo. There was some really interesting information on all topics of midwifery, plus I just felt like I learned so much about the type of midwife that I want to be as well. My doula/best friend/fellow student midwife was my roommate and we had a really great time bonding and experiencing this stuff together too. feels SO good to be home though. I missed my babies and hubby so much!

Ps, the lady in the painted belly pic is Gail Tully (my total midwife crush) from spinningbabies.com that I keep banging on about :)

Did you tell her that you've got a whole thread of ladies doing the Spinning Babies exercises?

Ok, I just need to vent with those who don't know me in RL because I feel so embarrassed and sick of these goings on (and it feels like same story-different day):

DH drove home drunk again last night. About a year ago from December he was habitually getting drunk with mates from work and would drive home and be very emotionally abusive (nothing physical, but it doesn't make it any less painful). He got in a car accident that totaled the car and he doesn't remember it actually happening, just waking up the next morning to a very busted up car that he drove home. He put himself through rehab and was sober for about 8 months before deciding he wasn't an alcoholic and permitting himself only a drink of wine each weekend night. So far it's been fine. He hasn't gotten drunk with a glass and he hasn't been going out with work mates. He has gone to a few sporting events over this winter, but has come home in good condition and admitting to having one beer during the game but that's it. Last night was a complete repeat of the past. He lost his phone at some point last night so I couldn't get ahold of him, which left me very worried as we are in the middle of another snow storm (thanks a lot April, you're supposed to have showers, not snow ). He didn't come home until 3 hrs post game and he was completely wasted. We've talked about it so many times that if he slips up he should just crash on the couch or the spare bedroom because he is a disgusting sleeping drunk to have to sleep next to. Up until last night it's worked..... I met him downstairs just so see him because I was worried about the snow, where he was, etc. and he just started going off about me being gone all of last week with f*'ing hippies, being a horrible mother for leaving her kids, a wife that he doesn't know why he's still around because to him he feels that I'm too independent (!). So I just said, I'll see you in the morning-go sleep on the couch and went upstairs. He followed me up and started shoving me when I blocked him from coming in our bedroom. I fell (I'm fine, just still a bit shook up at the prospect of what could have happened) and he just walked over me and got into bed and fell asleep after more emotional abusive ranting. I just went and slept in the guest room.

He tried to hug me this morning and I just said "don't touch me". He keeps saying "sorry" as if it's going to patch everything up but I just feel like I can't even look at him...he's saying stuff like "I just won't go to games anymore", "I know you hate my friends, but it's not their fault", "You provoked me, that's why I pushed you"....just so much shit. I'm 8 months pregnant, this is just so not what I need right now. I know none of you can really help much than to read this and offer advice and I think that's all I need right now. Just someone to read this and know what's going on in the walls of this crazy house!

Oh bring that's so not what you need right now! I really don't know what to say - have you posted in the Relationships section? They usually know what to do!

Have a big, un-MN, hippy !

((Hugs)) bring i agree that it is not what you need (at any time, but especially whilst pregnant) does he have form for ea or is it just when he's been drinking? He does seem to be using typical ea responses. shifting the blame into you
I think you need to think about what you want to do. (Leave, ultimations to DH, counceling? there are lots of options) You are a strong woman, and are in no way to blame for his actions. Only he controls his actions.

Thank you, lovely mumsnet sisters. I am already seeing a counselor about once a month for maintenance sessions stemming from the past episodes and I think I will just call her to see if I can get in an emergency apt. He is a lovely, wonderful, caring, affectionate person while sober and is the complete opposite when he is drunk.... and thankfully I haven't had to face his evil twin in quite some time. It's just that we are now back to square one in terms of trust and it's back to work on our relationship (which was so wonderful up until last night). I just want to hate him for being so selfish. It's hard. I don't feel like doing "hard" right now. I just want us to enjoy these last two months of the family life we have, not re-working all that we've put behind us months ago. Such is life with an addict, right? I'm going to take a much needed nap after being up super late and then taking a really long time to settle myself (and the poor baby who was exposed to all of the stress hormones and adrenaline) before falling asleep last night. I am blessed to have a sense of community here and thank you for your time and responses.

oh Bring, that's so hard to deal with, especially now.

Really glad to hear that you have access to a counsellor to help you manage how you deal with situations as that's so important for your own control and stress levels.

He may not be an 'alcoholic' in the sense of it being an addiction all the time but it does sound like he's a problem drinker and cannot control it. I've grown up in a house like this so I know how hard it can be.

I don't have any amazing advice to offer. You can't make someone stop doing something - they have to get there on their own - but you can decide how you handle it and what you're willing to put up with.

We're here for all the rants in the meantime

Oh, and I know you know this but don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for a) taking some time to do something for yourself and b) being a hippy/believing what you believe. Mothers who do things for themselves and make them happy and promote their sense of wellbeing = good mothers. Kids feed off that happiness.

Thanks Lor

Argh! HHKs! Someone tell this baby he shouldn't be trying to karate-chop his way out while I'm trying to sleep?! The last couple of nights he's taken to waiting until I'm settled & sleepy before poking me really hard in the hip/side in such a way that it simultaneously hurts & tickles! Tonight it seems to be all about the HHKs. I don't remember DS1 making me jump quite like this. I guess that might be because I had a low placenta last time so it protected me! Hmph. I'm not talking to him. Naughty baby!

How are you doing bring? Hope things are a bit calmer there now!

Oh bring, can't believe I missed all this, you poor thing how are you doing today?
A similar thing is in our family although its my dsis dh, he is not an "alcoholic" in that he has to drink and can go years without but when he has one he can't stop to the point he will vomit and carry on and it always ends in something bad I.e he's lost his licence for drink driving or last time ended up in hospital with black eyes and his work collegue a fractured skull, he can never remember what's happened but just goes missing Untill we get a phonecall from police or like saying they've found him he won't answer his phone etc so my poor dsis is always fraught with worry and left thinking what will be next ( the last incident with him was around a year ago while she too was pregnant and had to go to hospital to get him!)
He is a wonderful guy the rest of the time, hard working a great father but he has this problem and I'm not sure it'll ever go, it may not strike for years or ever again but the capability is always going to be there and I think that's the decision you have to make wether you can live with, the added violence in this occasion with you adds another dimension although it amazes me how vile people can be with drink in them when they are never normally like that but the fact you are pregnant aswell is just horrible, like you said it wasn't bad but its what might have been!
Like lor said though do not let him project any blame on you especially for following your dreams and showing your sons a fantastic role model- I'm glad you have a councillor you can talk to about it and we are hear whenever you need us < very hippy hugs and squeezes>

Jojo I feel you, think baby was trying to kick her way out yesterday, it was so horrendous painful it took my breath away!

Good morning.

Jojo I feel you too. I sometimes wonder if baby's trying to kick its way out.

Bring hope things are going okay. You had a chance to speak to your DH about it all?

Things good with me. Had GP appt. this morning and baby's sitting in a lovely position right now - which I suspected seeing as I'm pretty sure I know where its feet are . Had my whooping cough jab too. I don't usually react to jabs and hoping I won't with this one as I have the in-laws arriving this afternoon and staying until Sunday. Everything else looks good though. I did have a small amount of sugar in my urine again but since my GTT was all good a few weeks ago GP's not worried. It only ever seems to come up in my GP appt and never when I see the midwife. I wonder if it's because I always see GP on a Thurs morning and since I do yoga on a Wednesday evening I tend to come home and snack later in the evening than on other days. Anyway she doesn't seem bothered so I won't worry.

This little one is definately trying to kick his way out. It is really starting to hurt.

And I just had to wrestle my wedding/engagement rings off my fat fingers as they suddenly hurt. Okay again now, v random. It must be when I get hot.

Sounds like a good app lor, I didn't have a reaction to the jap but my arm was abit sore for a few days which is unusual, only to lie on though!
I've just taken a tumble, face first on road and cut my lip out and in, didn't feel like I hit bump or hard anyway and can feel little one kicking around, do you think I need to get it checked out or as I feel ok leave it? Lip sore and feel stupid

Aw kitty you poor thing. Sounds painful. If you're nervous, get checked out but personally as long as I could continue to feel wriggler wriggling I'd be happy enough, especially if you don't think you hit the bump. Bit of a personal judgement call though.

I remember my poor sister falling when pregnant - she tripped a bit and stumbled forwards but couldn't really regain her balance and ended up just picking up speed and running face-first into a wall. She was fine, bit of a sore head and lip, but she felt so stupid. It's kind of funny now but wasn't at the time . All was well with baby (now 3 years old). It's hard to adjust to the different way you walk and move at the moment isn't it?