April 2013 part six...what does the third trimester have in store?

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You are all soooo organised!
Whilst I think I've just about got everything, it's certainly not sorted. Between pgp and the insomnia and the heat I just don't want to do anything. I think There's a couple of days forecast to be under 30 degrees so I'll try to get some more done then.
Has anyone found that their face is more sensitive at the moment? I'm finding that I'm putting my moisturiser on and within a few minutes I just want to wipe it off. It's not a new brand or anything.

mama re car seats - we have had all sorts over time but I was just thinking that it might be worth asking in the NICU if they recommend anything specifically for preemies. Our local hospital is a teaching one re maternity/NICU and they do lots of additional tests to check that the tiny babies leaving NICU/SCBU are able to breathe properly in their car seat. Means extra wires and a 20 minute wait before discharge.

We had a Graco which was fine but did seem to make the baby sit very upright in the car. The BIG advantage was that it has a car base so it was easy to click in and out. Isofix and easifix are much more common now - although this may not be a high prioroty for you if you are not planning on getting a pushchair.

We also had a Brittax which was great - it was a huge thing that made me feel Dc was very safe. It was suitable from birth to 4 so grew with the DC and seemed much flatter in rear-facing mode. It was awkward to fit it in our car (special edition seats) but was okay as it never came out once it went in until we stopped using it.

This time we have a joie travel system bought just to live in the car. There are guides to guarantee that it is all fitted properly and the pushchair folds up very small and is very light. The car seat has an in car base (which is high priority for me) and seems very flat so the baby is still very much lying down when you put it in the car.

I do think, perhaps, if we had the space that we might have gone for one of those car seats that is actually a carry cot so the baby still lies flat in the car and then it changes to a normal seat. Not sure though and impractical for us as would not fit with other 2DDs.

There are so many around - DP's DSis swears by MaxiCosi and has only ever put her children in them. As mine have got bigger, they have gone into MC seats - and others....

Good luck!

giddy must have been the day for it yesterday... i was in also for hours with mild but regular and traceable contractions.
they sent me away as is petered off after hours and said just baxton hicks.
was a worrying tho as i also has what im sure could only be described as a show. but they checked cervix which is well and truly shut so who knows what's going on!

ill keep my legs crossed and you do the same ;)

32wks

Gosh giddy how scary for you! Glad your baby is staying put for now :) Take it easy though!

Mama we bought the Britax simply because it fits with our travel system but I think dysgu is right, ask about those ideal for preemies since Alex is on the small side.

MoW not so much my face but the rest of my skin is very dry and sensitive. I've been avoiding putting too much on it. Maybe you need to switch to something gentler?

I'm off for my 31 week appointment in a bit. Time seems to be flying!

31 weeks today!

Hope all these babies stay put xx

Mama another vote for maxi cosi! All mg friends that are mums have recommended this to me and I love it, feels secure but comfortable and we got the base for the car so it can just click in and put easily.

My last day at work was weird! There's a few people I'm really going to miss :-(

Had a nice time at my leaving do tho and got lovely baby gifts and the girls all put together to get a giftcard for me (for where I worked) and I've been instructed to spend it on myself xx

32+0

Just had a very embarassing emotional breakdown at work. I've been working silly hours (12hr days, 6 days last week) as I'm on a tight deadline (or rather beyond one, was supposed to be completed yesterday!) then not really stopping at home because we've had a mixture of visitors, NCT, Yoga classes etc.. Our HS&E manager came in to say one of the assessments I was trying to rush through last night needs rewriting and I think it was just the final straw for me, poor bugger didn't know what to do .
Hoping will finally get it completed tonight and I'm finishing on time regardless as I have Yoga to get to and I think I really need it (missed out on last weeks swim as had to work back and I really missed it) and tomorrow have 31 week MW appointment so get to leave early.
On plus, after bean being quiet all weekend, seemed to respond to me crying and has been wriggling away ever since :) Hoping the next 8 weeks at work will be somewhat less stressful/tiring!

Sorry, mememe

Hi JJ247, I am sorry to hear you are having a tough time. If it makes you feel any better, you are not the only one having an emotional breakdown very now and then.
I worked 13 days in a row for the last two weeks due to the office and freelance (on annual leave now thankfully) and had an argument with the Bank due to the fact that my card reader was broken and ended up sobbing to DH when I got off the phone. DH was stunned, but bless him, he didn't say so at the time. I think I was just so tired from over working, plus being pregnant, hormonal and not sleeping at night that the customer service line at Barclays was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak.
So don't feel embarrassed at all, it happens to all of us...
Hang in there - not long now.... xx

I went to the midwife today and she said that she didn't think I should wait until 37.5 weeks to give up work as she didn't think that I "would make it with the severity of the SPD" and said I should finish at at 34 weeks.
She is not the only one who has suggested this - as I have gotten it from the physio and the consultant as well.
The thing is, I don't really want to finish early as I have a savings plan for my maternity leave (which sounds lame, I know...) and have been putting money away each month. If I go early, my mat leave will kick in 3.5 weeks early and I will miss out on full-time salary for nearly a month.
As the doctor/midwife have suggested it, is it possible to get signed off sick until 36 weeks (then have mat leave kick in), so it isn't so bad financially?

olli where I work if you are off sick after 27w it triggers the start of mat leave, might be worth looking into that. I've also moved mine forward to finish when I am 36+2 (but my last day working is 35+5, then 4 days holiday). I seriously can't wait!

jj I sympathise! I think people are walking on eggshells around me, I'm so emotional!

tattooed & giddy I had BH all Sunday morning too! Dull ache in my right side, but they were almost constant for 4hrs. M/w not concerned, didn't want me in for monitoring, just suggested I drank loads because they're made worse by dehydration.

trish aww, glad your last day went well. Did you arrange your leaving do? People keep asking if I'm doing anything, but it feels a bit odd to sort out your own party, I almost feel like I want to slip away!

MoW my skin (especially chin/nose) has been super sensitive and spotty all the way through. Sudocrem seems to help. Can't imagine coupling that with the heat too, poor you!

Oooh and talking of car seats - I was looking at the maxi cosi opal (as its rear facing to 4y/o) but really have no idea what to go for. Seems crazy buying a car seat when we don't have a car, but we do hire reguarly and I'm sure grandparents will want to take baby out.

(Sorry if I missed anyone to reply to, it's so busy on here still!)

33+6

Candy, it was one of my besties at work bday yesterday too so it was kind of a joint thing suggested by other colleagues! Nothing wrong with organising your own tho x

Thanks Sneezy and bext. Those are good tips. Hope we all get our water births!

I only have 5 more working days and am hoping my mum will agree to collect DDs so I can go to leaving do!! They are only home from their holiday the day before but I have to collect DDs from CM by 4pm on Fridays which is much too early for DP to get home - he is already coming home early on the Weds as I have parents evening at work. There is a bit of me that would happily just sneak off - and I have never had to 'deal' with a leaving do before as DDs came before I had started ML.

How is everyone getting on in choosing names? We are still a long way off from even having a short list but then, both DDs were named after they arrived so it looks like we will do it that way again.

Thanks those of you who responded about the cot and the car seat situation. The people I bought the cot from will take it back and refund me so I'll just look out for another one on ebay I think and hope that this time they've measured it properly! The gap was really quite large. I'd say it was easily the size of a newborn baby!

The car seat we have bought is a maxi-cosi cabriofix. Got it second hand and very happy with it and the easyfix base it goes onto. Just a shame it won't go into DH's car. Won't fix using seatbelts either! Anyway, I have been putting off getting my own car even though I know I will soon need it so this has just speeded me up towards that. Seen a cheap Ford Focus so might get that at the weekend. Am scared though. Haven't driven for ten years.

jj That sounds awful. I am just working 8 hour days + 2-3 hours of commuting and I feel at the end of my tether. I get overwhelmed by the smallest thing. No wonder you're feeling the pressure.

Hope everyone manages to overcome their problems. We really haven't got long to go now. Hang on in there!

33+4
(2 weeks + 3 days left at work)
(6 weeks + 3 days until baby is due)

Evening everyone

Sorry so many of you are feeling down in the dumps and overwhelmed, it's a long hard slog this pg malarky!

Also those of you suffering with strong braxton hicks you have my sympathy, I hope the babies all stay put for as long as possible.

We still have a car seat to buy, I suspect I shall be going for the maxi cosi with isofix. Haven't been able to buy it yet as we weren't sure which car we were going to be having but.......................

I ORDERED MY NEW CAR TODAY

We are getting the <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.ford.co.uk/cs/BlobServer%3Fblobtable%3DMungoBlobs%26blobcol%3Durldata%26blobwhere%3D1214400661519%26blobkey%3Did&imgrefurl=www.ford.co.uk/Cars/S-MAX/mdp%3Di1204971756084&h=439&w=780&sz=69&tbnid=PBqfkH5LsKpsaM:&tbnh=68&tbnw=120&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dford%2Bs%2Bmax%2Bmidnight%2Bsky%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=ford+s+max+midnight+sky&usg=__3GqgOfbKq8P9--TL9aaZuCOH0BE=&docid=F7hcpSwERzwhJM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=DOQjUf6OHcTS0QXA_4DwAw&ved=0CD4Q9QEwAA&dur=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">FordSmax in this exact colour.

I'm so excited, the only problem is thought that it could be up to 10 weeks before we can collect it so looks like the baby will be here before the car. Nevermind at least we will be able to travel in comfort once it is here.

Oh and I had my 31 week appointment yesterday and my GTT came back perfect, my wee was given the all clear (last time there was a suspected uti) and my blood pressure was spot on after being raised last time.

All in all it was a good appointment, I have the anethiatist tomorrow and my 32 weeks scan and consultant on Thursday. All these appointments are killing me!

31+5

Hi all

Glad to hear babies are staying put. :)

Had my scan today after two traces, babies fab but they said its a sizeable baby , I'm 34+2 but measuring 36+2, apparently that doesn't mean baby will come two weeks early though just be big. Eeeeek.

I did ask if they could give me an estimate of size, she did says its wildly inaccurate and overestimates massively and they never use the figures medically, BUT baby is currently showing at 7lb I've got six more weeks to go. Oh shit!!!!!!! Think my hypnobirthing ain't going to do anything.

Right. Haven't posted for a while and this is going to be a bit me, me, me, but I need to know whether I am a bag of unreasonable hormones or if I'd be justified in smacking DH with a shovel...

You may want and cake.

So, a back in October we put our house on the market. I love our house, especially my fab kitchen/diner I did a couple of years ago. We put it on as we wanted somewhere with parking in a slightly better area of town. We got an agreement to extend the mortgage and naturally assumed both of us would pay the difference, especially as we'd be adding nursery fees into the equation later. Anyway, we had a few viewings, but with due date getting closer, we took it off the market last week. That very day, we got an offer. Not as good as I'd have liked, but still.

We then busied ourselves looking at houses. My caveat about moving was that the kitchen was a dealbreaker and that I'm not doubling the mortgage to get less living space than we have now. All the houses we've viewed have been disappointing and none of them measure up to what we have now.

DH then reveals he won't contribute any extra (he's not upped his household contribution since 1998) and that he expects me to carry all the extra expenses, fees, nursery etc. He also has not contributed one penny towards the baby - I've even paid every pound for all four IVF treatments. My mat leave calculations are based on current expenses, although I could probably add more to the mortgage pot if needed.

Last night I was awake from 3am worrying about all this. I earn more than DH, but not megabucks and cannot possibly carry all the extra expenses he wants me too. When I've voiced this to him, I'm being pathetic.

When I've expressed worry that the timing is crap, I'm also being pathetic and selfish. If we move, he doesn't want to pay for removals and figures I can manage. He says I can go and stay at his Dad's after the birth if it all happens then- no way, no how.

I'm actually feeling really distressed about all this. I had a scary turn at the weekend, under a huge amount of stress at work and then get shouted at at home for being too wiped out to have his dinner on the table (even though he gets home an hour before me at least) and for worrying about not being able to afford maternity leave because he wants to move. He just thinks I should pay for everything and gets so angry when I challenge him.

Sorry this is rambly and long. My head is spinning. I'm going to go to bed, so if you haven't died of boredom and do reply, I'm not ignoring you.

I'm 33+5

Kate, I do genuinely feel for you, it sounds like he's been really unreasonable with £, I cannot believe he hasn't shared any baby costs with you. And also hasn't upped his contributions towards living. I don't know what else to say, I think you need to have a frank discussion with him.

Just my honest opinion xxx

Ywbu to want to hit him with a shovel magic. I am not recommending this action though! Seriously?! He's not upped his contribution since 1998?! I was 17 then and earning £3 an hour! You need to give him a firm talking to about money. It's half his baby and his home and he needs to contribute! We find with money a different approach is fairer - all money goes into a pot to pay bills, mortgage etc and we get an agreed amount of 'leftover' money to spend on ourselves. This has worked both ways as I used to earn more than DH but now he earns more than me! But no, he can't carry like this - you shouldn't be put under this kind of stress so far into your pregnancy.

fluffeh so glad that was if help! Didn't want you to think I was interfering by having a look for you.

magic really feel for you, sounds like he needs a good shake (or slap depending on how angry you are feeling!)

I had a really stressfull day, trying to buy a house and the whole thing collapsed today due to nationwide entering wrong details 3 weeks ago and not noticing! So gave us the go ahead, then today rang up to say they would only give us 20k less than we need. So the whole think has fallen apart - cue very angry, hormonal, crying pregnant lady!

magic I second faiths approach - we do the same.

ratbag hoping that estimate a bit out .

I have wasted most of my evening looking at mattresses - any suggestions?

30+4

Magic, I'd smash the shovel in his face a few times, sorry but I'd be livid, take the house off the market/ reject the offer and don't budge until he's got a few more brain cells. Sorry but that's awful and you're already stressed, don't add to it. If anyone suggested I was pathetic at this point I'd kill them, so bonus points for you he's still breathing!!!!!! We chuck everything into one pot and then share what's left roughly, so e months I get more, others he does!

Photo - git a brand new spare mattress going cheap if you're not a million miles away :)

JH nice car!

ratbag sounds like you're getting a whopper, hope you haven't bought too many 'newborn' sized baby grows!! (My DH has put his order in for ours to be 8lb+, we'll see how that turns out!)

magic Gosh, what a predicament! It sounds like you need a good sit down heart-to-heart (or a fist fight!!)
I know that all couples do the money thing differently, but the way you write it, that doesn't seem fair at all! Good luck finding a resolution [hug]

keys Oh no! [hugs] you have my sympathy, buying a house was one of the most stressful things I've done, I can't imagine doing it whilst pregnant. I hope you get things sorted

I'm only five ft, I cannot have a whopper!!!!! People are betting at 10lb now and DH is bravely saying its all the chocolate oranges I've scoffed!! I am seriously wondering if I eat salad and nothing else whether baby will go on a diet too :)

ratbag I wldnt take too much notice of the estimate, a close friend was measuring 5 wks over, had growth scans etc and had a quite normal 8lb er at full term! fingers crossed you'll b the same

magic I'd hit him with a shovel.... My Dh is quite unwilling to pay more than he has to into our joint account for bills cos I earn more than him and I am so anal so I have a spreadsheet to work out percentage of wages to cover hsehold and childcare costs. I've saved to cover mat leave previously and usually buy all dd's clothes etc but he buys 'man' things like decorating stuff, shed, lawnmower. All couples have their own thing but he def sounds like he's bein unreasonable!

keys hope you sort things with the move, can't imagine coping with a move while pregnant, don't think I'd have the energy!

I don't post tht often but read all of your posts! Lovely to hear what your all gettin upto! Loving the hospital bag lists and great to hear how Alex is gettin on mama

Have my scan in 3 wks to see if the placenta has moved...fx it has, have my heart set on a home birth now.

Loving the count down empress.....

31+4.....5+2 till I finish work....8+3 till due date ....not long now ladies