June 2013 Thread 3 - the one where we stop throwing up!

[DontmindifIdo]

new June thread - we've been chatting too much!

Maw, I'm MAHOOSIVE too! It is actual insanity how large I am. But as it isn't baby, I assume it is just my organs being compressed upwards? :-/ I know I feel quite uncomfortable lying down. Would a pillow help, as I haven't got one yet. Maybe it is time to invest!

Your pay seems complicated, Maw!

And your twins sound funny, Collector :-) Good on you for asking re pay, ha ha...how mean of work to refuse.

Pay? Pay? Are you serious? I had no idea there were such generous employers around! I'm on the statutory provision like MrsBri. I work for a very small company that is employee owned so sadly no bells and whistles on the maternity pay.

I'm having the meeting with work on the 4th Feb to discuss maternity cover. They keep trying to fob me off saying its too early to discuss but I know what my boss can be like. He'll forget about it then panic cos he's forgotten and just make it stressful for everyone. I think I'll go about 37 weeks. I have tonnes of holiday to take before and after which will help. We may not get much pay but we get loads of holidays which I struggle to take cos of the massive workload DH keeps joking that I'll be in the delivery room with a laptop on my belly.

Anyway - I think there might be something in the water. I'm working on two projects funded by the same donor and all the senior women seem to be getting pregnant. Oops!

I'm in France, and my manager seems to be under the impression that I will just take basic maternity leave which would mean coming back full time when the baby is 10 weeks old. Fuck that noise. I have to explain to her tomorrow that I'd rather come back when it's more like a year old. At least, in my clever plan it's weaned when I come back full time. The best laid plans and all that. She is going to do a bit of a double-take and try desperately to be super nice about it, she's a good manager, but I'm kind of dreading it anyway.

I've only got SMP this time, last time I got nine months full pay, but only part time so wasn't a huge difference for them. Will be having six months, but it's a bad time to be off with a restructure and retendering. I have no idea what I'll be returning to!

I'm jealous of anything anyone gets over the SMP - I'll have to apply for that, even, but it's a bit tricky as I've got my own company! Essentially if I don't work I don't get paid (pregnant or otherwise), so will work right up as far as I can, health permitting. Not intending to be off work for long, either, but again should be able to sort 1-2 days a week, at least some of that working from home, relatively easily.

I have started to sleep really badly, and I think it's due to discomfort from the bump moving about each time I switch position in bed. That, and my utter denial of anything appropriately maternity-wear. Ripped my PJ bottoms off at 330am this morning in v bad temper, they felt so tight! I fear I may have to resign myself to buying some fit-for-purpose clothing now. Have done ok to get to 22 weeks without it, I guess.

Is funny as people we know are still only finding out - we didn't make any big announcements (beyond family and very close friends) - spent this morning emailing a friend back home at Oz who has been picking up on clues on the grapevine....I keep forgetting that the world doesn't know, when it's such a life-changing thing for us!

Hope everyone else is feeling ok and well.....the babies are really starting to make their presence felt. Kick, kick, thump, thump....

Wow, I'm jealous of the 6 months full pay. I work for a council so get 6 weeks at 90% then down hill from there, mild panic about how skint I'll be! Full indepth cardiac scan and full scan with specialist yesterday and all was well, such a relief! Went and bought a baby gro in celebration! We wandered around mamas and papas like fish out of water looking at all the stuff! Someone has just given us a buggy so hoping that will be a big saving. I am using 4 weeks annual leave and then starting mat leave the week before baby is due. Good luck to those with scans coming up.

I feel like such a slacker after reading other peoples posts! I'm going off on April 1st when I'll be 31 weeks!

However I did get spd very badly last time (was induced because of it) and its already showing signs of starting now at only 22 weeks - it makes my job very difficult if I cant stand up or move around quickly and safely (I'm a youth worker) so if I need to get across the room to break up a fight or restrain a young person and I cant do that properly, then I'm a hinderence to the team really

I am however going on a residential weekend full of rock climbing and canoing just before I go off! Think I will be mainly sat supervising activities!

Collector, it must have been lovely to see your twins.

Best of luck everyone with the Maternity leave/holiday negotiations and of course those with scans! For those that have got scans coming up, in hindsight we wished we'd asked the sonographer to take a picture of the baby's face and little feet (I think they have to look at both as part of the general scan for harelip/club foot)

Anyone else beginning to suffer with itchy bump syndrome (which does not seem to be alleviated by any amount of stretch mark oil) humpf?

Congratulations collector on your scan - must be amazing to see them both (I am part in awe and part in envy!).

Just agreed with my boss my last day in the office will be 3 May :) With a few handy public hols (here in France) at the beginning and Christmas at the end, plus lots of accrued annual leave, I can stay off work til the new year :) And we've had a good applicant to cover my leave so I don't need to feel guilty.

My scan is tomorrow, so getting exicted . Another one here with just SMP, still it's better these days than it was with my first. I'll probably stop work at about 36 weeks as I think that coincides with half term, taking annual leave first. Hoping this one isn't over 2 weeks like like the last one !

I'm tomorrow too learner - good luck!

I'll be working till last possible day here. We don't get mat pay here. Just 12 weeks off which you have to cover with vacation leave, then when that runs out, sick leave, and any remaining unpaid. I'm going to have to reduce my hours before mat leave otherwise I won't have enough vac/sick to pay for it, and if any leave is unpaid you have to pay your own health insurance premiums. It's not been long enough since last baby to earn enough sick leave to cover it. Some times I wish we still lived in England and I was at my last, government job!

I will just get Maternity Allowance (I hope) since I finished my job in December before I knew that I was pregnant, and I can't get another permanent job until the baby arrives, if then. So I'm also going to be skint! The upside is that I don't have to tell any boss and I can take a nice long leave, the downside is that no-one is going to employ me in a couple of months and I won't get paid when I'm not working which will make life difficult - we weren't exactly flush before!

Aloha - I'm a Government lawyer, the maternity pay is pretty much why lots of women join! The difference must be a bit of a shocker... Though we were in Hawaii a while back and you do have some clear advantages living over there:-) Mrs Bri - when you are qualified, seriously consider a move to the GLS before you have another one:-) Ella are you a civil servant too?

Back from our last long haul travel adventure and the jetlag is still destroying me several days later. This child doesn't like to fly and repeatedly kicked me during every flight - we did six of them! - until I was sick. Given we have gone long haul twice a year since forever its going to be quite a shock to the system to no longer do it, but money and inclination will probably stop that!

Horrible being back at work. I have the same thing as some of you - meant to hand in MatB1 by 25weeks but not meant to see midwife till then. Ended up making an appointment for 24+2 on the basis I can get it in on time and still be seen in the 25th week. Work is so up in the air at the moment, my whole team are relocating to another Government Dept on 15th March. I really don't want to go and have to learn all new systems before then leaving six weeks later. There are some jobs staying back and I've asked to be considered for one. You can tell they don't want to let me as they will actually need a bum in the seat immediately, not someone on a years leave. I kind of want to point out the fact I'm on maternity leave shouldn't be a factor but I also see that there is a need for that work to be done now. Sigh. The uncertainty and instability is really not what I need at the moment. Two of the other girls are due the same time as me and are just taking mat leave from March to avoid moving. Thats so early I don't want to do that!

As an aside has anyone discovered maternity gym gear? I went earlier and everything is horribly tight and squishes Bean which she doesn't like at all. Recommendations gratefully received! Saying that the gym may soon be a thing of the past as running is now too heavy and the bike and rowing machine involving me kneeing myself in the stomach!

Reading and running but will be back later - Sarah look at NCT website for yoga pants - bloody fab!

true sarah there are some advantages! Saying that, it's definitely winter now and has been raining all week, so feels decidedly like England!

As for gym gear?!! Well, I do yoga at home in my pjs, does that count?

Feeling really lucky with my maternity leave now since reading all the stat only posts. Get 12 weeks full pay, 8 weeks half then up to a year statutory.

Going to use 4 weeks (get 28 days hols) at the start then a few days over christmas as holiday so am hoping that between that and my bonus this year I can effectively pay myself my normal salary until I go back in Jan 2014.

Was hoping to get my holiday out of this bonus too but my landlord is really messing us round on extending our lease so will probably end up having to move too in the next few months...more money!

I bought a pillow thing at the weekend some mummy pillow business, it's not the revelation I was expecting in bed but is brilliant on the sofa.

Congrats on great scan news massage and collector and good luck for tomorrow learner and aloha xx

MrsBri, 25 weeks sounded too late for my liking too; as I said, my work wanted to know my maternity leave start date as soon as I informed them I was pregnant (I ignored them until after the 12 week scan, as I didn't even have an official due date until then!), and said they wanted the MATB1 asap. They'd definitely have started harrassing me if I'd had to wait until 25 weeks!

I found out today that I can use all of the annual leave I'll accrue on maternity leave before I go off on maternity leave if I want to! I won't, as it'll be handy to be paid for it at the end, but it's very tempting (I could finish in just over a month!).

I am lucky with the maternity package where I work; I didn't realise that many employers just give the minimum.

I'm glad to hear all the good scan news and good luck for the upcoming scans.

Lexi, I think faces on the normal ultrasound scans are freaky looking! In one picture, my baby turned her head so her face is front on, and it looks so scary (luckily we got loads of other pictures)! I've seen her face in 4D and it does look normal, thank goodness

Sarah - yes I am! I can understand why the other girls you work with are starting maternity leave early. My department is also changing, and I'm just hoping it won't go ahead as early as planned (it's already been put back by a couple of months). I hope it works out ok for you.

Trust me, if any of you want one of them, you've only to say. I'm considering booking them out one at a time in some kind of library book system, just to give myself a break

Good luck to those who have their scans still to come!

Am extremely envious of those with good mat pay deals - 6 weeks at 90% then onto SMP - that is going to hurt! Was with a friend today who is on mat leave, she said the key is to not turn into a lady who lunches, go round to other people's houses for lunch and have them back in turn, rather than spend £7-10 a time in a cafe.

One thing I forgot to tell you all is that at yoga last week they showed us a natural birthing film. My face during the orgasmic birth sequence was just like this -->

No matter how open minded I am, I tell you now that ain't never going to happen!

Sarah, my secondment is at a council, so would that count as GLS, or is it specific departments only? The plan is to try to get taken on there, as it is near the end of my TC anyway, so good timing :-)

Qualification seems miles away right now though!

I'm glad I'm not in Aloha's position. That's bloody harsh...I feel sorry for you.

It would be nice if employers were all generous, wouldn't it?!

SunnyL - if it makes you feel any better, last time round it was the statutory 6 weeks at 90% then rest SMP (about £500 a month I think) hten nowt for the last 4 months of my year off, I work for a multinational who pride themselves on being 'people focussed' - it's slightly better now, I'll get another 6 weeks on half pay after the 90% bit before dropping to SMP, but that's it.

Aloha - do a lot of mothers just resign?

Mrs Bri - central Gov Depts only I'm afraid!

I have to remind myself it's one of the downsides of living here, there are many upsides. Being able to walk from our house to the beach with ds any day we want to go paddling is one of them! But yeah the US is not big on maternity benefits. Most of my friends are sahm. Leaving a 12 week old baby in care is hard, but easier for me as I was able to ask a friend who had a ds 7 months older than mine, to look after my ds while I worked. At least that way I knew he was getting one-on-one love rather than being one of x babies in a day care. Fortunately here that is allowed, I know you can't do that in the UK unless the person is a registered childminder. Ds is now with a different sahm (the first one gave up once she was expecting her 2nd), so hoping she'll also be able to look after the baby. I just scouted out likely looking mums at my church who lived near me, and asked them. So far, it's worked.

Does that mean London, Sarah? If so, I'll take my chances up here! I've tried London twice and didn't get on with it. And DH really won't go!

Hello all, Just wondering- what is everyones partners doing about paternity leave? My dh's employers want him to book the time off ASAP. But obviously we dont know when baby will arrive! And and as its only 2 weeks, want to make the most of the time. Part of us isn't sure it's even worth it as the statutory pay is so low!

Maisiebeem - he can't book it in advance as it starts the day the baby comes! Tell him to tell his boss your due date but he'll start it from when the baby comes so unless you are having an ELCS you can't say when that will be exactly. He can't be the first man to become a dad in the last 5 years or so at that company!!!

Actually DH's place are great, he'll get full pay for his 2 weeks. They are v family friendly at his company, far more than mine.