June 2013 Thread 3 - the one where we stop throwing up!

[DontmindifIdo]

new June thread - we've been chatting too much!

[MrsBri]

Hi Hawkmoth! Nice to meet you...come and join in our chatting every now and then now you've appeared once! :-)

[SunnyL]

Whoever was talking about NCT classes yesterday - this article made me chuckle
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/9778717/Kirstie-Allsopp-attacks-the-National-Childbirth-Trusts-scary-and-dogmatic-childbirth-classes.html

[redwellybluewelly]

AmI had my MW appt today, baby is doing ok with a good strong heartbeat. I had to take DD with me so had to hold it together somewhat but after discussing lack of sleep, sickness, anxiety, pure exhaustion, feelings of depression no joy about the pg or even wanting tell people or have any delight its not AND but PTSD and its becoming quite significant. The PTSD is effectively magnifying all the usual aches and pains and mood swings of pregnancy, in a lot of pain as well from uterus growing which MW said wasn't unusual but how I feel about that pain is just adding to the anxiety.

I haven't even looked at the scan pics since they were taken.

Problem is there is nothing in our PCT area for support in a pregnancy after poor outcomes. No mental health midwives, no counselling, no helpline or specialist teams. Not for severely traumatic birth, stillbirth, neonatal injury etc. MW said it was an embarrassment. So I have to go to GP next week who initially referred me to a psychologist months ago. But drugs won't help, so no easy solution.

[AmIGoingMad]

Welcome hawkmoth!

Redwelly- poor you that sounds terrible! It's so awful that it really is a matter of your postcode deciding your standard of care! Is there no way they can refer you across to another, better equipped pct? It seems madness that you can't access the help you so desperately need just due to where you are! Can the gp at least rush your appointment through? See them and ask this as you need something to give you peace of mind sooner rather than later. Daft me saying that- safe to say its something you already know. Just want you to know that you have support here. If just talking it through helps even a little then do it- I'm sure the others will agree or you're welcome to pm if you want to. I'm in no way qualified to help but I think a good listener outside your immediate support network must help? Sounds like as with some others on here ( me included) the birth bit seemed like something to think of later and now later has arrived. With your past experiences it must be hard but you will get through this I'm sure of it. Sending hugs!x

[AmIGoingMad]

Mrsbri- how was bungalow?

[AmIGoingMad]

Dontmind- it was you I was thinking if with the 'later' arriving now. That's such a good way of putting it x

[MrsBri]

The bungalow was awesome. We've put our application in and we are just waiting to hear if it is accepted. Fingers crossed.

It even has a sun room in the garden!

Redwelly, so sorry to hear how you're feeling and your diagnosis. I hope you get seen very soon.

I emailed the training principal at work today and told him how work is stressing me out. Too scared to see if he's replied now as I really slated some of my colleagues and their laziness. Ah well, done now! At least I should sleep tonight after only 4 hours last night.

[massagegirl]

Hello June ladies! I'm new to this one.. Due 1st June. Been a bloomin roller coaster but finally have the all clear that baby is well and have started feeling wriggles! Hope you are all doing well. This is first baby, have just signed up for nct as new to my area so wanted to meet people and also a class called lazy daisy which is exercise and relaxation based.

[Littlemissexpecting]

Hello newbies
Glad the bungalow viewing went well.
I've only been sick once today so fingers crossed starting to improve my end.

[webminx]

Hi ladies,
Just checking into the new thread. All well here I think - feeling flutters, still exhausted but seems to be getting better. Yay! Now for a bit of TMI: Have VARICOSE VEINS in my thigh (and a little higher up iyswim). Cannot believe it. Had this with DC1 too, but much later on. Am bit traumatized. Bit sore but mostly just make me feel a little gaggy when I look at them ... Am I alone?!!?

[MrsBri]

Hmmm...I'm now scared to look at my thighs!! :-)

The training principal was really lovely when he emailed back. Agreed a compromise with my working hours, which is great. He was so nice I may go back after maternity leave.

[curlyclaz13]

The Boss asked when I plan to start maternity leave yesterday I told her my plan is to start it on 1 June but to take any holiday owed immediately before. she couldn't get her head round it and kept saying she left two months before and I will have no holiday left. explained I plan to take rest of the year off and I think she gets it now. she had no idea about my rights or what I can do when I come back, I think I will want to do part time but she suggests treating me like a locum. I don't think so !

[MrsBri]

Honestly, companies are so clueless. Scary really!

I've requested my risk assessment. Not sure the previous HR person knew about them. Worked out when I'm taking all my annual leave too.

Feeling much happier now than I was this morning. Thank god :-)

[DontmindifIdo]

Curlyclaz - sounds a bit crap, do you have a HR department you can talk too? If not, have a look on the gov website, I'm sure there's stuff you could send links over to 'help'...

[curlyclaz13]

I think part of the problem is I work for a very small company with 5 employees (optician's) so boss is the owner. I am the only pregnant lady to work there since she opened 27 years ago ! clueless is an understatement. risk assessment was delegated and I was no part of it so had to go looking for it.

[DontmindifIdo]

oooh, risk assessment, I'd forgotten about that !!!! I'm looking forward to the 'seat' lady coming in again, last time round, the H&S for having a pregnant staff member involved a) some random woman coming round to measure my chair and adjust it for me and b) my then boss throwing her weight around as at the time there was swine flu, and "my PA can't be expected to get the tube!" she kicked off until it was agreed that someone would have to give up their car park space if swine flu in London got bad. To put in perspective, there are only 20 places, there are over 60 partners in the London office, a car parking space is basically a sign you have made it, so to be told that someone (but not her - let's not be silly!) would have to be told to give me their space was causing panic, however as my old boss billed several million more than anyone else in London that year, she was being humoured...

[AmIGoingMad]

Welcome massagegirl!

Mrsbri- glad you feel better about work now. Hope you get more sleep tonight and that application goes well!

Webminx- haven't noticed any as yet so am keeping fingers crossed not to. Hope yours ease!

[AmIGoingMad]

Little miss- glad sickness is starting to ease

[pinkapples]

Very cross I'm awake woke up for my normal 3am wee and can't get back to sleep to date this has not happened even if I get up 2 or 3 times in the night! don't know what this face is but it seemed appropriate

In other news not feeling to sick anymore exhausted is an understatement though as I cannot keep my eyes open at all when I get in from work and I don't know if I've felt fluttering a yet I can't imagine what it feels like so can't decide am 18 weeks on Tuesday so just want the scan now to tell me everything's alright don't know how I'm going to get back to sleep but am going to attempt it wish me luck!

[MrsBri]

I'm awake too. Again :-/

I'm not worrying tonight, I just can't sleep. I think I must wake up too much from my sofa nap when I come to bed.

Hope you get to sleep soon, pinkapples.

In other news, my bump feels a bit harder today, not quite so podgy-feeling. Interesting development!

[pinkapples]

Aww mrsbri I was thinking that but there is no way I can stop myself going to sleep on the sofa

My bump is also getting harder which must be a good sign still a bit podgy in the middle under my belly button but defo around the sides and top bit

[SunnyL]

Had someone go for their first grobe of my non-bump last night. It was my colleagues wife demanding to know what it was. I called out loudly it was a baby and hopefully human and she backed off. Bit weird especially since i'm still not showing.

18+3 now and still don't think i've felt it. Fingers crossed i do soon cos you're all making me jealous.

[MrsBri]

No, I just die on the sofa most nights...where's the second trimester energy people talk about? Nowhere near me :-/

Sunny, how rude of that woman. But yay for your response! :-)

Felt sick in the middle of the night again. Hope that isn't a new feature.

I barely feel bubs. Assuming what I'm feeling IS bubs. And still 4 weeks til my scan. Not sure how I will cope if the MW can't find the heartbeat on Monday.

[Withalittlesparkle]

Urgh at people touching bumps, so far it's only been family but to be honest even that freaks me out a bit, largely because I mostly feel my belly is fat rather than baby!! They wouldn't come up to me prepregnancy and run my belly after I'd had a big dinner would they?!

Bri I have a midwife appt on Monday too, do they always look for a heartbeat? All she told me was to bring a pee sample with me so have no idea what to expect!!!

[MrsBri]

Ha ha, sparkle, you'd bloody hope not. Though there are some strange people out there.

I was told they'd listen if I want, but may not be able to find it due to position of bubs, but they wouldn't refer for a scan if they couldn't find it, as it is totally normal. Must remember to take my pot of wee. Which I'll have to produce at work!