May 2013 Third Thread.

[SecretCervix]

Sorry for the not very imaginative title. Noticed old thread was full and couldn't find a new one.

Hi! I lost you again! :)

Just stopping in to mark my place and try to catch up.

I had my first real doctor's appointment on Monday! The doctor is lovely. I'd never met her before so I was hoping I wouldn't feel uncomfortable with her. I didn't at all, so that's a relief.

They couldn't find the baby's heartbeat just by listening, so they did an ultrasound. He/she was sleeping and didn't want to move. :) Everything looked good!

I realized I'll probably be the only one in labor in my teeny tiny hospital on that particular day...I think it only averages a few babies a month. I wasn't sure about that at first (I had DS in a HUGE birthing center) but everyone seems really excited and attentive, so I think it will be a plus. No waiting for an epidural!

Hope everyone is doing well!

Oh, 12+6 :)

Beaut I've struggled with a serious eating disorder since I was a teenager. Thankfully since moving to Sweden, I've found out the root cause is that I'm autistic and have since had a lot of very intensive specialist support. It's still a struggle everyday though, but one I'm slowly winning.

My advice would be to make sure you eat regularly, never go more than 3 hours without eating something (this advice comes from an eating disorders specialist) even if you don't feel hungry, eat something. If you have an eating disorder you cannot reliably trust your body to tell you when to eat. You have to make a conscious decision to eat small amounts at the right time. Hunger is your worst enemy. Hunger is what triggers a binge. So ensure you never get hungry by eating every 3 hours, even if it's just a banana or a couple of digestives.

Littlebairn I only agreed to have the nuchal test so I could get a look at Baby. First scan here isn't normally until 18 weeks unless you're old like me. Both my husband and I were without doubt that high risk for Downs wouldn't make the slightest difference and there was no way we would have further tests which would put the pregnancy at risk.

I'm so glad we did have the screening though, regardless of getting to see Baby. I didn't know that it also screens for 2 other conditions. I had to look them up afterwards as I'd never heard of them. They are truely horrendous. I'm a Christian (Catholic) too and thought I'd never contemplate a termination, but putting myself and my child through either of those would be even worse. Thank God we are extremely low risk.

They don't do Nuchal scans here, at least I don't think they do!

DH and I plan on adopting a baby/child with Down syndrome at some point so obviously we would not terminate in that (or probably any) case. He is a devout Catholic. I'm not but am religious, plus I've spent my life around people with special needs (my mother worked with them for years, then I did too, plus I've got a cousin with severe CP and another with DS) so it's really not a big deal for me.

Good luck today LittleBairn.

I have to say that my personal experience of living with a high risk nuchal result for the last two weeks makes me want to advise anyone considering such a scan to question whether it is worth it if they already know they would not investigate the result further. Being told that your baby may have serious abnormalities is a horrendous experience. The anxiety and worry it produces are like nothing I have ever experienced. The only way you can have certainty is to follow-up with an invasive and risky test and if you would not do that then you would have to live with the uncertainty which is very much harder than I expected.

I have to say that if you have never had a high risk result it is not really possible to know how you would react. A bad nuchal result is not just an indicator of Down Syndrome. There are other, even more serious complications that may cause the same result. I have had to think carefully about these issues lately and all I would say now is that I am not sure one can know predict their own reaction when they are considering the situation from a purely hypothetical perspective.

Sorry, that all sounds very dark. I am on my way to the fetal medical consultant now so I am feeling very anxious. We will have yet another scan which wil hopefully shed more light on our situation.

good luck today little

rt I hope you are ok. such big good luck at your meeting. Personally I completely agree with what you have said which is why I said no to the screening.

My Dad was severly brain injured in a car crash decades ago, and my DHs little sister was born with terrible disabilities as a consequence of a botched delivery, so these things show to me that whatever you think you know or don't know of your child in the womb, everything can change at birth or in life; whoever you and they are. Friend's children who are unexpectedly on the spectrum, or have dyslexia, or suffer depression show this to me too.

But the thing that gets me is that whoever these people are, they are loved! and they are, to different degrees, functional! Dh's little sis loved the colour green. she would go mad for it. These things made her more than her disabilities...

I know looking after a disabled child would be so hard. so many dreams to change and I can't imagine the stress and fighting for their rights etc etc. we all worry. I dunno, just wanted to say none of us know what or who we will be or how 'fortune' or 'misfortune' might be expressed to us in a few years time...

Afternoon-

RT - huge good vibes for your appt. thinking of you.

We chose to have the nuchal test- we believe that we wouldn't act on any poor result but feel we would rather have an idea of what MAT be coming but completely agree you can never KNOW up reaction until it happens.

Having a busy time here- new baby, resultant new sensible car ordered and accepted an offer on house today so if all to plan we should move to a new shiny one end of feb. it's all very exciting just hope we cn cope with the stress ;-) should certainly keep us busy! X

Well had my scan, it wasn't so bad in the end we have one little baby in there with a strong heartbeat it seemed to be practicing the doggy paddle. But no matter how hard we tried it just wouldn't move from its awkward position of facing into my spine and head tucked in towards the cervix to do the Nuchal. So we have to go back for another scan on Monday afternoon.
I think I will be much more relaxed, I now know I haven't had a MMC the heartbeat was good I will just take it as an opportunity to have a visit the baby.

I'm feeling a bit tender, she was pressing very hard to try and get him/her to move around plus we went out to eat only for me to go and throw it all up as soon as I finished.

I'm feeling a bit smug that I was right on my dates, when DH has been
Going on and on about not being too sure about it.

13+1

congrats little :) and relax :)

Just back from my scan and all's well have a little wriggler who wouldn't co-operate, had to go for a walk, empty then refil my bladder, empty it again and still not able to do nuchal measurements, she said it looked normal but couldn't use it to calculate risk so will have to make do with the blood test at 16weeks as they have a one shot scan policy here. Happy enough with that to be honest.
We also got an offer on our house today! Now just need to find somewhere to move to!

Also need to update stats thread, actually 14+0, not sure how that works at all with my dates and previous scan but oh well, new EDD 15th May!

terra I hope you manage to get your feet up at some point.

I'm just back from yet another scan and the tear is still there but no worse so they said another week of not doing much, which is dull, but I'm pleased it's not bigger.

We haven't said anything to all our friends back home yet so I think a facebook status update is in order! Any witty suggestions? I have been thinking of a way to surprise everyone but can't come up with anything good - any suggestions welcome

cuppa that sounds much like my scan, lots of toilet visits, along with trying to shake the baby, pressing near by to see if it would move. Didn't budge just kept on doggy paddling, it's a stubborn bugger already.

berri good news your tear hasn't increased.
Picture of a bun in the oven?

Congrats on the scans, and so pleased your tear hasn't got bigger berri.

We're not having the nuchal scan either, I'm not religious at all but I wouldn't consider a termination. We refused generic testing when we knew there was a risk that DS would have muscular dystrophy, even my mum wanted me to terminate. I'm so glad we had him, he brightens up my life and is a truly amazing boy, despite not being 'perfect'.

Also congratulations to those who have accepted house offers, our flat completed so we're very happy, just hoping we get more good news at the scan tomorrow so we can celebrate!

Nearly new thread time again, does anyone have any ideas for names? How about just May 2013 - into the second trimester, or does anyone have any witty suggestions?

I'm reluctant to suggest it but how about a 'May the Fourth carry us through the second trimester' themed one, grrroan I know

Very pleased for you berri that things are stable and LO staying put. The inactivity will be worth it in the end.

Like your idea LittleB and glad your scan went smoothly today!

Thanks for all the well-wishes
There are benefits, DH has finally agreed we might be able to get a cleaner now!

RT how was your appointment with the consultant? I hope it was ok, do offload here if you need to, we are all here for you.
Cupatea and Little lovely news on the scans, so pleased for you!
Berri hooray that the tear is no bigger - clever you!
Cupatea I like your idea for the new thread title - made me laugh

Having been a whisker away from being sick for approx 7 weeks I finally actually vomited (rather violently - sorry TMI) last night. Horrid though it was, it was almost a relief as the nausea subsided for a while afterwards. I had no idea being pregnant would be this physically tough, I'm 12+2 now and aching to get past the MS stage. The irony is that we are in a romantic beach hut in Bali. It's beautiful here and it's lovely to have a holiday away from Singapore but I just wish I didn't feel so rough (and I'm sure the occupants in the other nearby huts must have heard me being sick - poor them). DH was wonderful holding my hair back etc. but I feel really sorry for him that we aren't having an easier time of it (I've dragged him half way across the world for my job and now I'm just ill all the time).

Congrats to everyone who posted about house completions. DH and I will arrive back in the UK in March and will have two months to secure a mortgage, find a job for DH (though he'll start looking while we're in SNG), find a house/flat to buy, complete and move in before the baby comes. I'm beginning to wonder if we've bitten off more than we can chew...

Scan is due for Monday 19th back in Singapore, am terrified after two of my closest friends had very bad experiences. If there's a problem I'll probably fly back to the UK but will cross that bridge if we come to it (it'll probably be fine though, won't it? Surely it will be? hand holding required).

Berri so glad the tear hasn't worsened. Re informing people over FB, a friend of mine announced her pregnancy by putting a picture of an avocado on her wall and saying "This is how big my baby is..."
I thought that was a really nice way to share the news.

Glad everyone's scans are going well - waiting for my next one in two weeks to find out the sex.

sea I'm sure you will be fine. It is so nerve racking, but so worth it! Try not to panic about scan, and try to enjoy it if you can. Put the worry to the back of your mind

Hello all.Thank you so much for all the support.

Myfriendgoo welcome thank you for coming straight in and reassuring me.

Terra I feel for you on the headaches.I have had one for 3 days which had now turned Into a migraine .Im thinking of leaving work in a whole as its so bad.

Wilde It is comforting to know I'm not the only one.I haven't really told anyone.I am putting on weight at such an alarming rate I look so flabby and untoned that I think it's maybe best I tell the midwife at least as I feel myself slipping back into it.

Flamin Thanks for the tips it is hard to eat often.I am overeating I'm sure but i am so hungry.I am scared to put on too much weight as I feel I will be awful afterwards.

Congrats to those that have had scans.
Time for me to go lie in a dark room.Stupid migraine.

14+0

Hey beaut, think you've done amazing to talk about tough things, as someone who has worked as a counsellor for people with ed, eating regularly is deffo the way forward, and try not to be too hard on yourself, you're doing great. And if you can, tell your MW, she will have experience with working with people is a similar position.
As for headaches, I must of missed that discussion, but I've had one for seems like weeks, hate taking tablets but only way to cope

Hi Beaut, so sorry not to have mentioned you in my post earlier - I thought I had covered everyone who had recent news but this thread moves so fast. Just wanted to say it sounds as though you're doing really well, I can't really offer any advice but just wanted to send a friendly supportive hello.

RT, I'm worried about you, is everything ok? Hope all went well with the consultant's appointment yesterday - understand you may not want to talk about it here but just wanted to send some supportive thoughts your way.

Waiting for the midwife for my booking in (at 13+0; their fault not mine). Firstly, it's boring waiting and secondly I'm really embarrassed that I live at my parents :-s. I'm sure that I'm not the only one but its still embarrassed! X