March 2013 VII: Our little pumpkins are getting fatter

[Sheldonella]

Old thread here

Stats thread here

Sounds like you have a good setup there Gummi. I was wondering about working from home. I can totally see the case for being at home too - I suppose I was annoyed with MIL just for making me feel guilty already. She could at least wait until I actually take DD to a nursery :)

possom Your morning does sound lovely and your DS sounds adorable :)

Well I had to admit defeat and come home to work so I can get changed and be more comfortable. I found a letter from the hospital waiting for me which was a copy of one sent to my GP advising them to keep a close eye on my blood pressure and urine. I now have fortnightly checks to look forward too. The letter also said I had no family history of PET and I just spoke to my mum who said my aunt had an emergency c-section due to that so I guess I need to tell the mw about that too.

In other news, there is a massive spider in my living room so I won't be lying down with my laptop to work in there

Three that sounds interesting, maybe I need to read that. I guess the real point is we can't escape the guilt no matter what we do. It is good to hear from those of you who have already been through this though as in reality I have no experience and don't know how I will feel.

Confuddled hope things are easing off today and you're able to rest.

Gummi yippee for heartbeat!

Keep on truckin' with the .ppt, Tramp!

Hurray for painting success Possom. You may have a mini-Rembrandt on your hands there!

Lexi yippee for you too on the presentation! Well done that girl! Proud of you. (And hope you can avoid any guilt about going back to work!)

Sheldon I second everyone's sensible comments on childcare. I think sometimes people just have to be told that it's fine to have their own opinion but when it's a contentious subject it's sometimes best to express it once and then leave it ? for good. You don't want to have to feel like you need to be on the defensive for the next five years. You could tell her how much you and DH would value and need her support on this, despite her different views, thus giving her the opportunity to be a big person about it. May also be a reasonable and good thing to point out the difference generational and societal differences - e.g. woman having own career and pension etc. And hopefully DH will chip in on how beneficial it is for family as well.

Three I read that book a long time ago - think will revisit it, thanks. I know, I get annoyed when I hear people say stuff along the lines of 'I don't know how you can be parted from baby/toddler for a second'. But, erm, aren't the husbands and partners of SAHMs having to do precisely that to fund their life?! MUCH prefer more of a balance both ways, which is why I'm impressed with DH seriously considering dropping his hours to do more daddying AND to support my need to do more jobbing!

And thanks everyone for the supportive comments on admitting I may have taken on too much for this stage in pregnancy, though! I appreciate it lots

Our 20-week scan was fine! Took four bloomin' hours in total but worth it! Had a coffee first thing so that they would both wriggle about (two weeks ago one was asleep) and they caused the sonographer a lot of work locating everything! All looks to be in good shape, thankfully. Heads are both up beyond my belly button now (eek!) and their feet are down below. They were prodding and elbowing each other all the time - and we were doing funny 'Oi, gerrof!' voiceovers - hilarious!

manda were you finding out the sex or did you already know?

I'm having a bit of a stressful day. Mum has whooping cough. Dd3 is cold ? WC , Dad is rough either because of looking after Mum or because he is coming down with something. Dh is at work due to swapping days do we can alternate dd3. Just had hospital on phone, Grandad v ill they want my mum in but couldn't get her. I can't go unless someone else looks after dd3 and someone can go with me as I can't manage the distance from car park to ward. Hospital are worried enough they will consider WC on the ward. Just pre warned dh I may need him home but am running out of people.

manda Lovely sounding scan. I was wondering about skipping the coffee before my scan but I think it might be nice to see all the wriggling. I have just eaten and she is wriggling lots. Thanks for your comments on the childcare issue too - it is a generational thing isn't it. I'm glad I have all of you to talk to about these things :)

tramp Hope your presentation preparation is going well.

I am now the proud owner of some giant full brief pants. I stopped off at M&S and went up yet another size (from 12 to 18). I really hope they are comfortable! I can also recommend bra extenders - I can finally breathe!

Oh ood I'm sorry to hear that. I hope your mum, dd and granndad are ok

Lol at the big knickers , rather worrying I'm still in the same ones from last pregnancy (set not pair!)

Still waiting for a phone call, v long 20 mins. Hospital need to phone my mum before someone phones me so can't find out

Aww, I wish I could have seen that manda, the little twins! Have a video scan done and post it for us!!

Sorry things are tough ood so many ill people, not at all fun, v worrying :(

Am going to the hospital when dh gets home. They are letting my mum in so not sounding good :(

Ow dear Angel and I hope he gets well soon

Fab news on the scan amanda am glad everything went well for you

I dont think I will ever learn - have a head ache from all the sugary rubbish I have eaten today AGAIN!! On the plus side have ordered most of DH christmas presents and both boys are near enough done too - god I love being organised and as boys birthdays are Nov and Jan I just buy lots and then split it :)

I havent bought any bigger knickers yet so maybe should

Got a letter from doctor today they are removing my mole next wednesday - its sits right where my bra does and rubs and hurts but worried about going to work after if I cant wear a bra

zoey have you been on the Xmas bargains thread?

Tramp good luck with the mega presentation!
manda so pleased about your little twins :)
Ood hope your family are all OK :(
Three I have just added that to my Kindle reading list! Sounds really insightful; did a year of Psych at uni & really enjoyed it so also probably right up my street interest wise.
Sheldon I agree the guilt does start early - but also agree that it is so good to have such a wide group of people to talk to! Funnily enough the only "judgemental" people I have spoken to have been people with no children; all the mums and dads I've spoken to have a variant on 'You'll work out what's best for you" which is encouraging

Oh Ood what a day - I hope you can figure something out and get to see your grandad soon. Poor everyone else too, ill at such a time. Hope DH can perhaps come home since it seems to be a bit in extremis? Are his work good like that?

We are definitely Team Yellow: sonographer asked us to look away from the screen at the appropriate moments!

Sheldon I'd recommend the coffee for wriggles! I was a bit upset last time that one seemed to be asleep (silly, I know!) so was determined to make sure they were awake this time! Bit mean, but worth it This may be naive, but passing today's 'tests' has dispelled any worries I had about the babies. Just a matter of getting to viability now, and then further development, and FX for a good birth x2. I can't believe how far we've all come!

Ohhh a video! That's a good idea - can you do it on NHS?! Maybe DH can just use the camera to record the scan?

Miseed the big pants comment, but just to report that, although the rest of me is a 12-14, I'm now in size 18 big pants! And horrendous they are too with the bagginess around the thighs but v. warm and comfy! I might give size 20 a go but then ? hmm ? dunno. Really don't want to pay £10 per pair for Mothercare ones, nor go commando - not in winter!

Nice one on all the present-buying, Zoey. Really must get on with xmas shopping at some point...

If you can get your hands on Irn Bru, it's great for getting babies to wiggle! I'm getting battered as I type!

Hello,

Best wishes to

Hope you day gets better Angels, Confud hope all ok and how exciting for those who've just had scans. Counting down until mine..

Talk about the birth plan interesting and guess will have to think about it soon. Have wanted to go to midwife lead unit, but given I'm older and first child not sure they will let me. The only think I know that I will have on big letter on my plan is "No Hospital gowns"..... Happy to take my own clothes....

Just found this link for anyone after a private scan/photos. www.livingsocial.com/cities/58/deals/493934-4d-baby-scan-dvd-and-six-3d-images.

Thanks for the links to websites/ groups regarding advice on pregnancy & redundancy. Put in my appeal to my redundancy last night to our HR Director listing 4 points I was contesting. She's responded with the "the issues you have raised are complex...we need time to review the related policies". They want to meet me next week, so fingers crossed they change their approach or we will be going further...

Got my graduation for my MBA tomorrow..... Not sure what to wear but guess you wont see much of it under my gown... Should be a good day....

em and chef .. Congratulations on your scans. I popped back in to say Hi and to see how the scans were going as we must be in the thick of them soon. Mine is next Wednesday and I don't think we plan to find out the sex....? Unless I can convince DH!

The birth plan chats are very very interesting. Is anyone else hoping for a VBAC? I really want a (drug filled) vaginal delivery if blood pressure allows me to. I have stopped taking aspirin for the time being as my blood pressure is actually low! I get dizzy, sick and shakes. Am seeing the consultant next week so will ask for some advice on this again.

Oh gosh, I missed out a whole page before posting .. manda lovely news about your scan too. Team Yellow rocks!

Vivee - when you go into that meeting you can ask to take a representative along with you. Either an employee or union rep, if they have them, or a legal representatitive or someone else to take notes (not comment).
Make sure that you take notes and make sure that these notes are circulated to HR following the meeting. very - you said the following, I am not sure of my rights on this issue and will be addressing it etc. You need to be really clear about anything you disagree with, why and the actions that you are taking. This is all perfectly within your rights by the way, just don't expect HR to mention that to you or to help you out. If you are unsure on anything have a chat with an employment lawyer ahead of the meet. Quite often first phone conversation is free.

Hurrah for team yellow and the scan Manda. Seriously go and have a private scan. It is ace. You get loads of time with them and quite a few will offer video. Best £150 I ever spent and Grannies to be love the video.

Thanks for powerpoint encouragement - I am on slide 158 and counting. Have yet to write SWOT let alone power point it. Presently proofing the slides so far and trying to keep acronyms etc the same across documents. ARGH but my brain hurts. Another day would be marvellous. But I don'yt have one so tonight, tonight it is.

angel - thoughts with your Mum, that must be worrying for you, take care my dear and I hope they help her get well quickly.

apologies to anyone I have missed. I will clock in again later. Right, more proofing beckons. Eeek.

Lovely to hear of scans going well - amazing how a little bit of caffine can affect our little ones so much!

Really interesting to hear all your views/plans about balancing work and childcare. DH and I both work fulltime from home so are in a bit a unique situation - during the working day we each have quiet times are generally quite flexible with our schedules. I am planning on going back to work full time after 6 months (as I don't want to lose my job!) and DH may take the option of additional parental leave that all dads are now entitled too (i.e. 6 months after mum's six months expires). I think our best solution for childcare once we are both back at work fulltime is to hire a mother's help/housekeeper that can work in our home and fill in the time when both me or DH are busy. Eventually we would consider a nursery but not until LO is at least 2 years old as I was really unimpressed by the provisions for babies at a number of nurseries that I have visited. No idea how to go about finiding a mother's help/housekeeper though so finding the right kind of person will probably be a bit of a challenge.

Sheld I have a friend who can't understand how I can even work from home, she tried it and it drove her mad,she knew herself she is a far better mum when she's out working as she is happy when at home. When she was home all the time she was miserable, its just a pity so many people feel they need voice their opinions

Ood was thinking it must be bad of they are going to let your mum in with whooping cough, fingers crossed for you.

Vivre fingers crossed for you too, they need a week to go over it hopefully everything goes in your favour
Think you should take tramp as your note taker

Tramp I work best under pressure of a deadline hope it works for you

Manda wonder if you will have one of each since thread seems plot even for those who have found out, I meant to say my bf went for natural birth but ended up with a section as her twins were identical and towrds end had twin two. transfusion, so when labour began twin 1s heart beat kept dipping so they decided to section, but she had prepared herself for both so she wasn't disappointed.

Been to hospital. Dh looked after kids and my dad helped me/my mum. Bit strange actually as staff are talking like its the end but we've been there before a few times with him. They also said he was unresponsive and we found he did respond but was more like he was ignoring us.
Whoever asked about dh work , he does 3 jobs. One he can't leave like that without getting cover in but the others he can miss/ change Times but doesn't get paid. So this week he's been able to take time off to cover child care but we are a lot of money down now so will have to drop some of his time off next month.

Ow thank goodness for my bed and pregnancy pillow my back is agony today and can hardly walk- my chair at work is broken and they are not spending ANY money till December but it's actually killing me to be there to the point I think I might start going early because it's impossible to work in that much pain every single day!

ted we are scan buddies next week- mine is at 9.30

Just sneezed about 10 times and something in my back crunched and seems a bit less painful now, lol!

Is anyone still hormonal or is everyone else 'sane' as I seriously feel very overwhelmed and close to crying a lot of the time still? A,friend has just announced she is 14 weeks pregnant and has started going on about her planned c section and 'perfect' experience and how I must be stupid for wanting to try a VBAC but we have very different experiences of c sections she had a term 8lb baby and was awake and relaxed, I had a failed epidural followed by a GA to a 8week early baby and had to wait 6 hours to evn see him as was so ill so feel she is naughty and a bt ignorant of how different things are!!!

Hearburn - just me? It seems a bit earlier than last time... I think I'll have to phone my midwife for a prescription for some industrial size bottles of Gaviscon...