ah +yomping* I just couldn't be happier for you. Absolutely wonderful wonderful news. I am sorry you didn't get the birth you envisioned and I really hope that you don't feel the sense of disappointment I did after DS was born and it had all gone pear shaped. Just keep thinking about this perfect little person you have created and brought into the world, you amazing person.
I was encouraged by my HV to utilise the 'birth reflections' service they offer here which allows you to go through the whole thing with a MW, to help you come to terms with what went on and when and why each decision was made. I may be totally barking up the wrong tree here, but I just see similarities between us in that we feelsafe when things have been planned effectively (can you guess we are teachers?) and a bit scared when we have no control. I wish I had done this as I still feel weird about it all 3 years on, but at the time, I just got on with it as I had my bonny little fella to occupy my time. Anyway, just ignore all of that if you like. Sending loads of love your way.
squid I keep meaning to comment to you about the post-birth reflection stuff as I have read and empathised with what you have written here aand on the PN thread. I personally feel that labour and birth is something so traumatic that no amount of careful prep or hypnobollocks or whatever can prepare you for. Even if on paper, it was a 'good' or 'normal' delivery like yours, I am not surprised that you still feel traumatised by what you went through. From what you have written through the pregnancy, you do always seem to give yourself SUCH a hard time even though you are remarkable in your healthy lifestyle and your solid relationship. It is quite normal to want your figure and sex-life etc back (I am always incredibly jealous of both of those things if I am honest!) but really try and be patient with your body and celebrate the enormous achievement it and you have made. On my DS's 1st birthday a wonderful friend of mine bought me a gift instead of my DS and wrote on the card 'this is in recognition of the fact that on this day a year ago, you performed a miracle' and I keep that though with me whenever I reflect on my birth experience and the pain I feel at remembering a complete loss of control. so... What I wanted to say to you, and all the others is WELL DONE on performing a miracle! And that as I have (hopefully not patronisingly) said before, IT DOES GET EASIER! I promise, it becomes much less relentless and much less one sided once they can interact with you, smile at you and once you find a bit more of a pattern to their wants and needs.
I am in two minds about posting this as I really don't want to come across as some kind of know-it-all nobber. It is just that I find it such a comfort when any of you sympathise on whatever I have written and want to reciprocate where I can. Just ignore it if you like!
Well,, at 40+3 STILL NOTHING here. I have been Christmas shopping this morning in the hope that my waters would break in John Lewis but alas no, it wasn't to be! Really trying to keep my chin up. dS being so gorgeous. He is really clingy so obviously knows something is up. He didn't want to go with his Daddy to park the car saying 'No Daddy, if Mummy goes somewhere, we have to go somewhere because it is our job to look after her' i could have cried! Bless him.
kyria, smorgs , mickey any news?
beccus, livvy, londonmrs, cherry don't leave me here on my own!!
Love to you all xxx