Due in August 2006. Part 3

[Nbg]

Hello

I'm so sorry Ruth and Mark. You will get throgh this like i did. My little boy was born at 17weeks but he was stillborn. You never forget them but it does get easier i promise.
He is one of lifes little angels.
Will be thinking of you both, don't leave MN for good thou. It has helped me a lot and i'm sure it will you too. Big hugs and again so so sorry.
XX

So so sorry for your loss Ruth & mark, Ruth you were so strong throughout , it really came through in what you wrote. Your strength will get you through. I don tthink I would have been the same way. Isaac will send a beautiful new soul down to you very soon. x

Arabica thinking of you to. Sorry you have to feel all the worry and anguish. x

oh no in tears as well :( So glad you got to meet your little boy xx

This is my first time of posting although I have been following people's messages for a few weeks. So sorry to hear Ruth's sad news.

I almost feel "silly" for posting my worries now!

Am due August 21st.

I am 18weeks pregnant tomorrow and for the last week I have been feeling a lot of aches and pains in my tummy and for the last few days at the sides of my tummy and at the bottom. At work I have noticed that if I've been sat down for a while and I stand up the bottom of my tummy really aches- sometimes it's quite a sharp ache. I have also been weeing a lot more than I have done.(

I know I am probably being a total hypochondriac but is it normal to feel this aches and pains- is it just me stretching again and things squashing up?? Have I slept funny? Had thought it might be a bit early for that!

The reason I am so worried is that we have been trying for three years to conceive and had been told that we would need fertility treatment to conceive...and then it happened.. so still in frame of mind of this is too good to be true- something is bound to happen. This baby is so so precious to us and I can't bear to think something might be wrong.

Have had two scans so far- 12 week one and nuchal fold- the consultant at the second one said it looked like a healthy baby!

Please, please give me some advice on what it is.Otherwise I will be going to the Drs tomorrow sounding like a panicky mum!

Hi ronnie and welcome

Sounds to me like growing pains, i've got 'em everywhere! If you are worried just call the mw, they don't mind i'm sure.

Couldn't really sleep last night, kept thinking of poor Ruth and how she must be feeling. Poor love. Hope they get thru it ok.

How is everyone else?

My ds is so tired he has gone to sleep!
He actually helped me tidy up our ds2's grave, think the fresh air has knocked him out....!

So i shall relax and enjoy a pint of...tea...

Am sobbing whilst writing this message, Ruth & Mark am so sorry to hear whats happened to you both..I really didnt think things would turn out like this. Stay strong and look after each other I'm sure you will get through this in time and best of luck for the future x x x

Hope everyone else is doing ok..Welcome ronnie, I also sometimes get sudden pains in lower abdomen if I get up too quickly so just take it easy, I'd put it down to growing pains too.

This little bugger is still trying to kick my bladder throughout the day, is this normal?

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts. I'm sorry we made so many of you cry but we are grateful to know that others are sharing our grief in a way too. Every one of your messages has made me cry but I think its part of the healing process and will help us come to terms with our loss. I thought after the 6 weeks of it being a threatened miscarriage that we had gone someway towards preparing ourselves but it really does hurt like hell. Today I have tried to do a bit of decorating to take my mind off things but my SI hip pain and the cramping doesn't let me forget

Boopert - I'm so sorry for your loss too. How long ago did you loss your little one? I'm sorry I'm probably not wording any of this very well. please can you help with some advice from your experience. We have to make a decision re funeral arrangements. we have 4 options: Trust burial, Trust cremation, Trust communal cremation at end of month or do our own arranging. It was half two in the morning and husband had gone home to our dd when I was asked to sign the form and make a choice. I opted for the communal arrangement but now I'm not sure. I don't know whether we should be asking for ashes afterwards or what to do .i'm afraid of making the wrong choice and regretting it later iyswim. How did you decide? I'm not sure whether ashes in the garden under a newly planted try will help or hinder the healing process. There wouldn't be ashes with the communal cremation option. Sorry to everyone else, I know this is a morbid topic but I would appreciate wisdom from someone who has been through this.
And my second question is did you suffer with severe afterpains and cramping? How long do they last? I've never experienced them before.
Thank you
love Ruth

Dear Ruth,
I am so so so sorry for your terrible loss, there is nothing I can say expect offer my deepest, deepest sympathies. So glad you got to meet your little son, if only for a brief while.

This happened to a friend of mine, she lost her daughter at 19 weeks. I hope you get the help you need, and that you can rely on the support of friends and family to get you through this. Keep talking to us as well if it helps.

my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family
xxx
Heidi

Hi Ruth,

I lost my little boy July 2004. We too named him, Oliver Joseph. I decided i wanted him to be buried so i have somewhere to go and visit him and it gives me a sense of looking after him. Making sure his bed is tidy and brightly decorated with all the things he has a right to have. We were going for a private plot but unfortunatley couldn't afford it but were told by the funeral directors we could buy a public plot. Sounded awful but she explained the only difference was the size, slightly smaller than private. But still big enough for me to take ds to so he could understand. It really depends on what you feel is the right thing for you and your family.

I had painkillers from the hospital for 5 days as the pains were awful. I think from what i remember they lasted about 3-4days. And i produced milk for a little while. But the physical side will heal within a couple of weeks. I just found crying when i had to and talking helped me through. And try to ignore peoples comments, they say cliched things as (for my friends) no one knew what to say so said anything thinking they were helping.

And give yourself time. It does get better. I still think of my baby and picture him in the tiny moses basket but can now smile and be proud of my perfect little angel. And as for my son, we say Ollie is watching over him and thats why he can't be here with us.

Sorry it's so long but i hope it helps in some way.
If you want to chat i'm always about.

Take care,

Alicia x

hi ruth wishing you well thinking of you over the last few daysxxx

hi to ronnie im due the 22 and im going thru the same thing and for the past four weeks have been going to the loo constantly so i think its probably normal as we are both at same stage and experiencing the same thing

hope everyone had a good weekend and are well

Thanks to everyone who has agreed that it is growing pains- nothing to worry about hopefully! But hubbie has convinced me to go to Drs tomorrow just for our own peace of mind. Will let you know! :)

Ruth
wishing you lots of love xxx

o god, was gone for the weekend so i've only just read mark and ruths awful news....

no words can express how sorry i am ruth, i was really praying for your little fighter. i hope you find the support you need to cope with isaacs loss, either on mn or somewhere else. am shedding tears for your little angel as i type. i'm so sorry again.

arabica, hopefully the fact that there are no other symptoms means it's just a false alarm but i'll have my fingers crossed for you both

have my first scan at 3pm today and had some really terrifying dreams last night about them finding something very wrong so i'm a bag of nerves, i know it can't come close to what others here are experiancing but i'm a mess all the same. can't seem to stop shaking. damn hormones....

Good luck with the scan eve
I'm sure everything will be fine.

ronnie - I was 18 weeks saturday and am having a lot of pains too. Have been told they're a mix of constipation, growing pains, a UTI (nice!) and ligament something or other...

Is a nasty horrid pain at the top of your bum the start of sciatia? I hope not! I've had it for a week.... could barely move on friday.

I've started bleeding again... getting really p'd off. It just feels sometimes like every time I feel a bit positive we take a step back.

lunavix have you felt any definite kicks or seen your stomach move yet im 18wweks tomoz and only felt flutters so far

ruth amrk isaac you in my thoughts

arabica im sure you will be fine sending you my love

everyone else hope you are well and getting fatter

thanks nbg, i'm sure i'm panicing over nothing, it's just so far into the preg and i don't even know how far along i am at this stage last time i'd had 2 scans and several doctors apps. feel like i've been abandoned, haven't even heard the heartbeat yet. thank god little one is such a feisty little thing and kicking loads or i'd be even more of a mess

jayjay - nope no kicks or movements. So much for earlier than last time!

crossed posts lunavix, sorry things aren't getting better for you. have you been booked in for a scan?

Awww Luna
When is your next scan?

I still can't believe how long you've had to wait for this scan eve. Madness!

Jayjay, I haven't been getting many kicks tbh. They are all happening late evening though but no stomach rippling yet.

Hi everybody hope your all doing ok. Good luck Eve with your scan (at last!), come n let us know how it went and tell them how you feel let down by the shite system. Luna sorry to hear your not feeling too good, hope your feeling better soon hun.
I'm experiencing what feels like internal kicks, cant feel them from the outside or maybe its my extra layer of fat that hides them lol. Still seem to be kicking my bladder and am 20 weeks today.
Got my scan this thursday..excited and anxious.
Oh bought some lovely maternity clothes from Next Directory...fab jersey trousers and some nice bright summery tops too! (think I could open my own shop soon)

eve i hope the scan goes well i cant believe youve had to wait this long i would have gone insane it killed going from 6weeks to 16 weeks without seeing the midwife and having 13 week gap between my scans has been enough give them hell