March 2013 Mk V: Lumpy bumpy witty knitters (patiently) await the bloom!

[Chefette]

New one marchers sorry on phone and can't link! Will post title in our old thread x

Best of news scanners. Hopefully a short wait doctorers.

Morning.

Officially 12 weeks today, well until the dating scan on Wednesday tells me otherwise and bunny is now the size of a plum.

So, the party...

All four of us went over for 3pm as requested by the invitation, only when we got there, there were already about 20 people there and who had been there for at least 30 minutes to an hour. The first thing Mrs Perfect asked was did I like her kitchen, to which I replied, yeh it's not bad, which she wasn't really happy with and promptly walked off. I'd only had 5 seconds and it didn't look that much different from her old kitchen. After being there a while, it is absolutely beautiful and exactely how I want my kitchen, though I never told her. Anyway, both DH and I stood there for just over an hour before someone approached us to talk about what primary school we were sending DS1 to. After this, Mrs Perfect announced that everyone should head inside for food, so all the children sat at the table. Apparently feeding adults is not the done thing at a childrens party. Whilst the children were sat around the table eating the most boring, unnimaginative food, the adults were stood behind them - both adults and children shared a very uncomfortable silence. Food was buttered bread, cheese slices, ham, sausage rolls, cheese rolls, cucumber slices, crisps and cheese and tomato pizza. DS2 was obviously not impressed and decided to head back into the garden to spill a bottle of bubbles over my arm and T-shirt. Then the cake came out and everyone sand Happy Birthday to the birthday boy and DS2 decided this was the perfect time to throw an almighty tantrum. So I left with DS2 and DH and DS1 came back about 30 minutes later. Oh and there were party bags, but they were shite.

So I'd probably rate the party a 4/10.

Seeing her house and in particular the kitchen, has reminded me just how much I hate this house and how much I want to do to it. I was almost in tears yesterday because I don't think I'll ever have a beautiful house or at least one DH and I are not embarressed by and stop people from coming to. DH doesn't seem to really care. As far as he's concerned, painting the walls and hanging pictures is all we need to do. I want to do much more. The problem is I only have £200 each month to spend on the house - his house and he won't let me do anything. I'm even having to fight him to get some wallpaper put up. I hate this place, the depressing thing is it could be so beautiful if he'd do stuff to it, but he won't. So we live like squatters whilst we surrounded by neighbours who take pride in their houses and do them up to a high standard.

Really fed up and see little point in cleaning/tidying when I'm forced to live like this.

kurly .. I saw consultant last week re Pre eclampsia and she put me on low dose aspirin daily for rest of pg and plans to give me many many scans to check on growth.

Is anyone else having trouble bookmarking this thread? All I get is failed but other threads are ok.

Morning! I've woken up with a massive burst of energy, which compared to the pukefest of two days ago, is a welcome feeling. :) Who's being scanned today? DS is off to school, so I'm going to use the time to have a leisurely breakfast, followed by steam mopping the house to within an inch of its life. Yes. Anyone want a toasted bagel and philly while I'm in the kitchen?

Am getting dopplered rather than scanned, but will join the scannees in nervous excitement. Appt not till 4.30 though.

Aching today after walk yesterday.

I frequently forget the words to nursery rhymes and songs but usually make something up to compensate. Poor DS won't know the real words to anything - just hope he doesn't sing my versions at school as they are utter nonsense!

(yes to a bagel possom, ta) :)

Ah yay for your energy burst backward! I'll just have a if you're making one? :)

MrsR that does not sound like a perfect party. Sounds like packed lunch food With the house, do you have anyone who you could get on side from the wider family who would be able to help you out with bits, or at least inspiration if DH isn't interested? He sounds like my dad. My mum struggled for years to persuade him to prioritise anything she wanted done. Now luckily she has my dh to help her in her projects, she buys him tools and he does her diy for her. She's made more progess in the last two years then in the previous 20! There was an incident in 2003 when she managed to get a new kitchen out of the insurance after a chip pan fire - but sure that was an accident!

Best of luck for today Kurly and also Ethel and other scannees

Tramp glad that you feel pampered after treatments. Did they say why pg people can't use jaccuzis though? I thought that hot hot tubs were a no no and saunas etc just because of the heat. But most jaccuzis are just less than normal bath temp, is it the pressure of the bubbles that can harm baby?

Manda think I would like to join fb, will pm you!

DD woke up at 3am, just for a pat (bad dream?) and then I had trouble gettng back to sleep so its a slow start for us this morning. Won't be tomorrow for Back To Work day - we need to be at childminders (half an hour away) at 7.45, eek! Just off to Surestart to play.

I'm still excited by my bargins yesterday, had a little try on session. Inspected my cumalative mat wardrobe so far, seem to have quite a bit... just need a few more belts/scarves etc to acessorise maybe!

Mmm, toasted bagel + philly for me please, backward!

Yay Three, will look out for your email.

Hope you don't have to wait too long at your hospitals, Kurly and Zoey. I was there 3-4 hours last week! Next time, I must remember to take some food

Ooh ted and kurly I've been put on 75mg aspirin too.

Thanks for party update MrsR: sounds like you can definitely stop worrying over the perfection of Mrs Perfect! I'm not up on these things but there should, surely, have been some nibbles or snacks for adults! My DH was a bit intransigent about getting the house done up till I put my metaphorical foot down and said we have to find a way to do it. Luckily we can scrape the money together for new kitchen, and we have small inheritance coming from his DF to help replace the old and malfunctioning double glazing and the rickety boiler, and everything else is not in the same league - more plastering and paint jobs. But even if it's nominally 'his house' it's jointly your 'home' and environment is important for happiness. Can you sit down after kids are in bed and negotiate? We had to do that. DH found it hugely painful (hates spending money) but very soon saw the sense of what I was saying (will never have time or money after babies here AND it will make me very happy during mat. leave etc).

PS I've had a FB friend request from a lovely smiley person with initials LL who has two very cute little boys in her profile pic. Forgive me for losing track every so slightly (there's a lot of us!) but can you just confirm here or by PM if it's someone from the thread and I'll add you to the group! (Sorry to police entry so ruthlessly!)

Good luck for scannees today x welcome twinkle!!

Curry was yum, I don't usually use a recipe, just juuje and mess about, but there are a couple of green pepper dhal (more red pepper dhal) recipes on net which have all the usual stuff I shove in (I just googled), depending what the over riding spices are in the main curry to either be a contrast or complement.

Enjoy your mondays everyone

Hi Manda, that's me!! I tried to message you at the same time but maybe it didn't work?

Thanks Pink! No message, but no worries :-) ... give me a sec ...

Morning all! Good luck with scans Ethel and docs kurly
Feeling rather sicky this morning which is most unwelcome after a couple of weeks of feeling well. Struggled to get into the office and having a panic about how much needs to be done.

Despite sickness, think I might need to have a curry tonight, if I can eat - you guys are making me want to cook!
Hope everyone has a good day.

Yea amanda I have 2 cartoons of strawberry juice, haribo and crisps for the wait as well as a magazine and pen to do the puzzles if I am really bored - I have learnt from my boredom mistakes - am also planning on stopping at KFC on the way through and getting a wrap, its right next to my hospital so am looking forward to that bit.

Trying to pursuade DH to take up reading a book or mag for my operation on Wednesday as when I had CS with DS2 we were waiting from 7.00am till 12.30 for a special care cot and he drove me insane and made the wait ALOT worse as kept going on about how bored he was! At 1.00 I sent him out to smoke as he was driving me insane and he litrally walked off the ward and consultant arrived and said we were going to theatre right now as the cot was free and he didnt want anyone taking it - DH had helpfully left his phone on the chair!!!!

Hi everyone!

Glad to hear that everyone is doing ok. Good luck to those having scans this week, hope it joyful news for you all and puts your mind at rest .

Update on our weekend telling the families! It went really well - hooray! Told my parents first and my step mum cried and said it was just the best news ever. My dad was really happy and shocked and asked if it was planned as I had always given him the impression that we weren't bothered about having kids (I have given everyone that impression in case we couldn't have kids for whatever reason so I'm glad it worked!). Then he joked that my OH has to marry me now (to which I've told my OH he has to do no such thing, but I would quite like a ring!). We've been together for over 12 years and we are happy the way things are and don't really feel the need to get married. My brothers were really pleased as well once they had got over the shock.

Then we went to tell OH's family and his mum cried too and said it was the best news ever - so really happy with the reactions so far. We will have a few more family members to tell but we won't have time to see now that our move is imminent so we've put a card in the post to them that has the scan pictures inside (even though our scan pictures are crap). Plan to tell friends and work either by the end of this week or next week. Still waiting for the results of NT scan and still don't quite believe it if I'm honest! Even though I saw a heartbeat and baby was moving away (on the third attempt), am still finding myself fretting that things are ok (that's normal though right?!).

I'm jealous of all you lovely ladies who are starting to get bumps and stuff now. As I'm a plus size lump of lard lady (size 18-20) and carry most of my weight around my stomach area, I don't think I'm going to show for a while. I googled it yesterday I know I need to stay away from Google as it always ends up making me feel worse and some plus sized ladies were saying they didn't show until they were 7 months gone !! I wonder if my size will effect me feeling the baby too?

Manda love the sound of the Facebook group! Do you think that you'll all move over to Facebook and leave MN or is it really for sharing photos and things?! I am interested in joining!

No, not the perfect party at all threefortea. No one to back me up and convince DH to renovate the house, so I think the most that'll happen is that it'll get painted.

mandasand DH hates spending money and keeps saying we haven't got money to waste on the house. He can see how lovely other peoples houses are and he is so embarressed by our house that he won't invite anyone here, but neither this or me nagging him to do up the house makes him see sense.

We overpaid for this house to begin with now the price of the house has gone down so we really need to do everything we can to increase the value of the house so that we can eventually sell it. DH thinks this is years off and by then we'll have no problem selling the house.

Thing is, who would want to buy our house, old kitchen that's dark and falling apart. Dark hallway with bits of floor missing. Exposed electrics in the playroom and stupid french doors where a window has been ripped out. Mixed windows, some of which won't open. Peeling paint. Ripped wallpaper. Why would someone want to buy a 4 bedroomed house like this for £210,00, which is what we paid for it. I can't see us being able to get our money back, let alone make money. We need to do more than paint and hang pictures up, but DH doesn't see this.

Also, lets just suppose that my DS1 and Mrs Perfects DS2 are of secondary school age. There is only one secondary school in the area and it is not great. What if we both put our houses up for sale, who is going to sell thiers and make money?

I don't want to seem unreasonable, but we've been here 5 years and all we've done is decorated the 2 boys bedrooms.

So pleased for you Emus! What a lovely all-round family love-fest It's really amazing how happy it makes people, isn't it? I hadn't quite realised about that till sharing the news (silly me?) And yes, I'm worrying about every small thing. Less so than pre-scans, I have to say, but still the well-being of the beans is on my mind almost all the time. I think this is a good thing - with no kids already it feels a little bit like I'm in training for a lifetime of worry!!! Come over to FB if you fancy a gander at loads of cute-as-pie scan (and kiddy) pics, but I don't think anyone is thinking of abandoning our lovely, cosy list! I'll PM you the details.

Boo for sickiness Lexi. But curry, mmmm!

Glad you're well stocked up with food, Zoey! Hope it's not toooo long a wait?

Sounds like your DH needs a gentle kick-up-the-bum, MrsR! (As did mine!)

Anxiously awaiting news of Ethel (and others today?)

Thanks for the welcomes. Am kicking myself for not looking for these threads earlier as I can see Ill be forever trying to catch up! Better late than never I guess.

I don't think anyone plans to leave the mn thread! We're all too nosey!! But its great to see all the pics !!

Hi twinkle! Welcome on board :) It's been a wonderful support over the past 14 weeks (when I joined, then got my extra two weeks) but the thread has definitely lightened up since the early, scary, pre-scan days do you've joined at a good time!

The FB group is a super photo fest for we nosy ones & kind of strange to put RL names & faces to MN nn... Just no labour videos folks, seriously, I can't even cope with the sanitised ones on OBEM.

mrsR I think you're being a bit mean, sorry. Best keep away from family perfect if they offend?! Sorry about your house frustrations though, that's a shame.

Had very sad news from SIL who it appears has lost her precious IVF beans. It was a real outside chance as IVF always is, but we had all got our hopes up :( Feeling deflated - but god only knows how she feels. We're all so lucky.

Sorry for downer!

Lexi - I too have had an attack of the nausea this morning. I'm blaming the fact that I braved scrambled egg for breakfast. I'm also exhausted again despite a really great nights sleep. I'm sporting my woe face

Three - No explanation other than heat which sounds a bit wooly to me. Never mind.

MrsR - I would move from the nag/moan approach to something new and more dastardly.

1. start finding rational - make sense to your other half - type reasons to make amends to something small as a foot in the door to amends. Dangerous wiring needing fixing before kids do damage because you saw one of them go to put it in their mouth or Somesuch.

2. once one small thing is done heap great praise on the results. Oh how lifes improved.. And now you think on it he mentioned that at some point it might be worth doing (note some other small job) and you thinks he's right. It needs to be a plausible what could be done.

3. and this may come first - I know we're not going to do work on the house but if we did what would be on your list?... I've jut been thinking since we went to the perfects that whilst their new kitchen is lovely I would've done the stairs first if it was me. Although in ours I suppose the wiring would be a better string point than the carpets .. What do you think? Etc

4. start inviting people over. Goo friends. Explain you're on project sort the house out but you need help and at dinner pick on something like - I've been trying to get OH to see wisdom of stripping the wall paper an painting because it's easier to clean the kids hand prints off but he's having none of it - what do you reckon?

...I think if you've the patience and will power MrsR you can win this war one small battle at a time. Just try to keep emotion out of it and where possible make it his idea. Where possible being easier said than done of course..
2) once

Tiddles - that's so sad. Your poor SIL. Can't begin to imagine but I'm guessing love & well wishes will mean alot.

I have no plans to leave this thread for FB but its nice to see all scan pictures of the beans we talk about so much and also seeing other DC is lovely too :) Think FB is just easier to be nosey and put faces to name etc and on here is more for the nitty gritty discussing all the more personal stuff, moaning and worrying!!!

MrsR I would tell DH striaght you cant and wont live like this anymore and he cant expect you to - you pay alot of money to buy a house and spend alot of time there you want to enjoy it and use it to entertain and the fact he is embarressed too says alot! Dont do it in a fleeting conversation, sit him down and tell him something is going to have to give and thats it - once kids are in bed, tv off! Give hima few days to digest and tell him oyu doing this as you NEED a solution as this can not continue!

tiddley that is such sad news. Luckily it sounds like she has some much needed love and family support.
mrsR I agree, one small battle at a time. Lots of positive thinking. And wire in a playroom? Surely your DH knows that's dangerous?!
Small steps build big results :) and Deffo pile on the praise!!!