March 2013 Mk V: Lumpy bumpy witty knitters (patiently) await the bloom!

[Chefette]

New one marchers sorry on phone and can't link! Will post title in our old thread x

or google even!!!

Please go and giggle instead turkish!

I've looked at a few prams and have turned into one of those women who approaches random strangers with 'I'm thinking of buying this pram, how would you rate it?' which the OH finds most amusing! I've settled on the mothercare M3 though. With the maxi cosi carseat and the base (can't remember the name) but its the one that can be used for the infant carrier as well as the next stage up so you're getting your monies worth. The whole set will be around £520 but the pram frame folds down small and can use the carry cot or the car seat without needing to fit an adaptor! Just click a switch!!

Thank you all for the warm welcome.

Have caught up a bit more now, twins Manda so exciting.

Sorry to hear so many are still sick. I am living off Cheddars and Lucozade at the moment. Roll on the bloom.

Rainbow I am so sorry for your loss. Only you the best path for you and your family here. this bizarrely by Jason Manford really brings home the connection between parents and their unborn child. Warning it made me sob...

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekends. Am putting my feet up to see if it will make any difference to the nausea.

Hi everyone

I hope you are all having a good weekend.

Welcome Suburban - Congratulations! . If I were you I would just get a buggy board. That is all I have used since my ds2 was 3 (& I walk everywhere). It's fab. He also has a micro scooter which helps us to get to places quickly! I don't think you would get much use out of a double but I suppose it depends on whether she still naps etc..?

Flowery Your breakfast sounded delicious. Sorry it didn't manage to stay down! I made everyone blueberry pancakes with maple syrup this morning - delicious!

Zoey I hope you are feeling Ok after your op.

JoJo Is your op this week? Good luck to you too if it is.

Kirsty poor you, what a horrid week. I hope you are feeling better now.

Shield Glad all is Ok. How nice to be further on than you thought!

Turkish I would recommend going somewhere that has a good pram selection like John Lewis and seeing what you like the look of. I think you need to work out what you need in a pram. Will you be folding it in and out of the car a lot? (If so, then a pram that folds in 1 piece is definitely recommended), do you use public transport, walk everywhere etc..? Then look at reviews on here or there is a website called bestbuggy which is pretty helpful. It's also a good idea to imagine what the pram will be like with a hefty toddler in it. All prams feel light in the shop or with a tiny newborn in, but lots then become really heavy and so people stop using them and buy a lightweight one. I have had loads of buggies and really love the Baby Jogger City Mini. It is so easy to push, reclines fully, has a fab hood which negates the need for a sunshade. Folds with one hand and doesn't take up much room in the car. You can also attach a carrycot and Maxi Cosi car seat onto it. I also have a Bugaboo Cameleon but would never recommend that if you drive a lot. Mine stays in my hallway because folding it is a pain in the ass and it takes up a lot of space! It is a fab pram though. Mine is 6 years old and still looks great.

Hope everyone else is Ok

pink my op is this week or next!! I'm expecting a call on Monday (which is not going to come as I haven't received the last 4!)) must stay positive!! They will call me... Or I'll call them!

Thank you pink peony have been considering a buggy board. Dd doesn't nap in the buggy anymore so it could be a goer. the Joovy is essentially a normal pushchair with a permanent buggy board and little fold down seat at the back. I like the idea of being able to strap DD in if she is having a mega tantrum, or when we are leaving the park etc. I have a pretty good sling so will probably leave it until the baby is here, then decide.

Would second the suggestion for John Lewis. Whatever you do make sure it fits in the boot of your car. I think if I had my time again I would go Baby Jogger City Mini or Bugaboo Bee. If you ever get public transport don't get a two parter.

I've just got a buggy board off eBay for dd3. She walks a lot at home but need something to speed her up at times or in case we go further. Weather is the only issue with a board but she
Can have an all in one rain suit and it will be spring by the time we need it.

JoJo - I am so pleased it's not just me who is staring at other peoples prams. MrM keeps stopping me from asking about them - but he's not with me at all times and I think the questions are inevitable. I hope no-one thinks I am too weird.

Don't know if i'm feeling sad or relieved not to be needing to go pram shopper this time round. Friends keep trying to get me to buy their Phil & Teds for the two of them but think i'm going to see how I do without a double as don't tend to walk long distances that much, and dd is a pretty good walker already.

flowery so hope you get better soon!

Welcome suburban

I'll be going to see the asthma nurse Manda have had to use dd's blue inhaler this week . She doesn't need it luckily.

Haven't managed to get anything done today unfortunately!

tramp there was a time when I'd never ask but honestly if I can puke in public places I can politely ask the question!! The first woman I asked was a bit stand off ish but every other parent has been really helpful. I just think if I'm living in this area and am going to be using this pram regularly I need to know that it works on the terrain!!

, my aunt gave birth to a still born DD (Rebecca) between her 1st and 2nd child all of the children were well aware they had an older/younger sister who they would never meet in person and as they grew older they learnt more about why.

None of my cousins are negatively affected by knowing this and they have always accepted it, there is a pencil portrait in my aunts bedroom of Rebecca and it has been there since her 1st birthday this has never been an issue but I have known my aunt to show the picture to people who have says that its not the same as losing a 'real' child it soon shuts them up when they see she was perfect in every way and wad infect a real child!

Manda I actually find your idea that the baby is just a 'concept' very offensive, have you not made plans in you're head for what your baby will wear, school, career and their future family?

Now how would you feel if good forbid something happened throughout your pregnancy that meant this was not possible would you not grieve for your child? Would you not speak about them?

Totally horrified at the disrespect shown to the ladies who 'dared'to mention that they wouldn't ignore the children who they had given birth to before! :(

Loving hearing all your pram talk- based on previous experience I would suggest no one get the silver cross 3d one as I got it for DS2 and you have to be a blinking spider to fold it, it's such hard work!!!

Am feeling so much more like me today have done full hair and make up and made an effort getting dressed- am starting to flag now but it was nice why it lastest!!!! Am even cooking dinner, thought DH was going to faint when I said I was cooking, home made chicken and mushroom pie with homemade chips- cant decide on crumble or crime brûlée for pudding though!!!

I'll decide for you zoey both!! X

flowery I think/ hope. If you are being sick that much you should really go to your gp and get some anti-sickness tablets. I take mine three times a day now and I can't believe how much better I feel (she says after just eating a bowl of roly poly and custard)! Honestly though go and get sorted - I can look at the name of them if you like? They've definitely made me start enjoying my pregnancy a little bit more - if only there were some anti- worry tablets!! X

Sorry flowery didn't mean to come across quite so bossy! X

peanut I think Manda said that it that a baby might be a concept to other people, not the parents.

Peanut Please can you direct me to the precise post where you say I describe a baby as a 'concept'? I don't think I have ever said that and, from a scan of all my posts below, neither can I find myself using that word! If you could point me to the date and time of the post then if I have used the word I will the context so that I can appreciate how this may have offended you.

I have re-read my posts carefully.
(1) I have not said that one shouldn't grieve for a child who died in or soon after pregnancy.
(2) I didn't say one should not speak about them at all.

My points were really a lot more nuanced than that. I am disappointed that you don't seem to have read and evaluated the actual words I've used and ideas expressed.

I opened up some particular points for discussion, as has Rainbow in return, asking me to consider what would happen if my DH passed away. I don't think discussion amongst people with different viewpoints, when phrased carefully and with respect, is a bad thing.

I do object to be accused of saying things I actually haven't said! Especially if this means you think badly of me when I simply - factually - don't deserve it.

It would be a shame if we can't have good, serious chats on the thread but perhaps it's more important that this remains a friendly, comfortable and lovely forum in which we can find some support as we go along our different journeys. Perhaps we could let this particular discussion rest as emotions seem, understandably, to be running quite high.

In other news, I've just eaten one of those enormous bags of crisps and now feel a bit ropey. Why o why do I do this on a regular basis?!

Also, I think my belly is developing its support system for it's horizontal extension forward. Above my hips, on either side, there's a new flank of muscle - kind of like love handles but solid. I thought it was fat at first but, um, no ? crikey!

We had breakfast with an old friend today and told her about the twins and she's utterly delighted. Once again, nice to do the double surprise - first, we're pregnant! ? and, then, it's twins! I will never tire of seeing people's faces

Will look forward to catching up with others' news later on. DH has gone down the lottie with a buttie and a can of John Smiths. I am supposed to be finishing my book ? so, better get my nose to the grindstone!

Happy afternoons to one and all - weather nice here. Hope in all your various far-flung places too.

zoey I wish I could come to yours for supper!
Am having slight guilt as had people round yesterday and did a lot of cooking and baking; today all I have done is lounge around drinking tea, blogging and crocheting (yes, am obsessed!) whilst DH mows the lawn and does ironing [embarrased]

We are off on holiday on Tuesday for 9 days - I am going to miss so much on this thread during that time! Not sure if the hotel has wifi! Tonight's plan is working out what I can still squeeze into out of my summer clothes, packing tomorrow after work. Not sure whether to take my maternity notes. Does mean I will miss my 16 week appointment & have it at 19 weeks, week after I get back.

On a healthy eating kick; gave myself a good talking too last night as I've been OK for nausea this past two weeks and still craving/eating sugar. My skin has gone to pot and I'm sure it's not doing little bean (or avocado, according to the NCT email any good. Had a smoothie this morning and a chicken, feta and cherry tomato salad for lunch with wholegrain bread - roast lamb for dinner tonight, yum yum! Going to try to eat well during holiday as well. Any tips for portable and work friendly snacks much appreciated!

I have to agree with manda and have read the posts and re-read them and she said nothing of the sort!
Whatever the subject everybody is entitled to there opinion and everyone will react differently in situations so there is no right or wrong answer to this. People should be allowed to express there opinions and no one will ever agree 100% on everything which is what makes us all different! No one has any right to tell people ere opinion is any less valid or right or wrong, and i find that very rude.
This is a discussion group and a huge support for a lot of us and somewhere we can give our opinions not be shot down in flames for them!!!!!

I actually think this subject should be dropped as its clearly very sensitive and emotional

Lexi I thought I should do something as poor DH has had me to look after and a poorly DS2 so he has been a bit manic and doing all the housework and got my new pram so managed to budge my bum off sofa to do something for him, lol!!!! Was going to do a homemade veg and coriander soup to start but have gone with crumble after tea and crime brûlée when kids are in bed as neither of them like it! I like e idea of healthy but with my ibs too much fruit, veg or brown bread etc really plays me up! I liken ritz crackers as a portable snack though

I'm going to have a roast tonight as well - vegie pie (if I'm the only one eating I really can't be arsed to make nut roast for one) with roast potatos from the new deli that opened today (the potatos, I need to roast them) and peas, sweetcorn & leek. Sadly they didn't have Curly Kayle or I'd have had that too.

Brunch was a cheese & beans toasty - delicious.

An exciting weekend here. Gym/Pools opened yesterday and we've joined. They'll have a a-natal group & aqua classes and a new deli. We're starting to get to know more of the local community & gallery around corner invited us to a private viewing Wednesday - get us.

All this excitement is exhausting though so I'm away for a nap. Back to work once I wake up.

Peanut - I appreciate emotions are running high on this but I don't belies anyone has said anything disrespectful. Views have been expressed & a topic that's evidently emotional for all of us here, some (sadly & regretfully) with more personal experience than others. It's a shame that discussion should be viewed by anyone as attack or lacking respect. I really don't think anyone intended that and rainbow I hope you don't feel that this is the case. As noted, now seems like a
good point to draw a line below it and move on. Support, not sides, is what's so lovely about this group.

lexi how is the blanket looking?

Sorry didn't check through before my last post.[Blush] Definitely agree with above, think it is supportive and am really glad to have you all to chat with.

You do all have the tendancy to make me very very hungry though, and its going to be a couple of hours before my mum is going to arrive with the roast she's decided to make me! Bless :)

Happy Sunday everybody!

lexi where are you off to on hols? (Sorry if you already said and I missed it). Hope you have a great time. Well done on all the crocheting. I love knitting and crochet but haven't got any time to do any. I already "owe" 2 family babies cardigans or other knitted items, so when I finally finished the PhD will do those first then something for baby bug.
Talking of knitting, sheldon I thought your bootees were fab! So cute.

I've been reading the buggy discussions with interest. I have a silver cross, but it's very heavy. In one way, that' s great as it's robust for all the walking (or running when late) that I do, but it's horribly difficult to manoeuvre. It's also strong for hanging oodles of shopping bags off. I think, like Ood, I'll get a buggy board (ds will be the same age as her dd3).

Sorry to hear some of us are still feeling rough. At ?15 ?16 weeks I'm still feeling queasy, but haven't been sick at all. Hope everybody soon feels a lot better.

jojo fx for a phone call on Monday.

welcome suburban

Better go and do some more work now; I'm in the middle of chapter revisions and keep getting cross when I disagree with my supervisor about some of the ideas I'm trying to express (probably all due to hormones!). I just need to take a deep breath and get on with it!

Thank you all for your comments/views/support etc. Not my intention to start a heated discussion at all. Clearly unless you have lost a child (whether or not that child has lived in outside the womb), it is difficult for you to understand. I know that I could not have imagined it until it happened to me and certainly could never have imagined how much of a 'person' a unborn child is and the impact they have on your lives.

I think that I would like to leave this discussion by just emphasing that while my DD's death was of course devastating and I will carry the pain of missing her for the rest of my life (and yes tramp, of course I am still in pain and grieving - I always will be), actually the time I got to spend with my DD (while I was pregnant and after she was born) was the most joyful and wonderful time in my life. If I could, I would go right back to the beginning and experience her life all over again, even knowing that she would not stay with us. She lived in this world with us and shared experiences with us for many months. She made a permanent place in our family - exactly the same way as she would have even if she had died at age one or five or ten. There is absolutely no difference between having a child dying in utero or during birth than a child dying once it has already lived outside the womb - all lives deserve to be valued and remembered equally and not hidden away.

With the new LO on the way we are now a family of four and always will be (no matter what the outcome with this new LO). The photos of my DD and her momentos will remain prominently on display in our home and we will never avoid talking about her. My new LO will have a big sister and that will be part of her/his identity. It will never be the case that we will impose the burden of our grief on our new LO - simply the existence of a sibling will be a normal part of their life. They will never have to wonder who the other baby is that mummy is holding in the photo on the cupboard. I am now a mum of two and always will be.

Thanks again to all of you who have taken the time to offer your views.