Rainbow, I think your question about whether, if my DH passed away during the pregnancy, I would have different views on the matter is interesting and does prompt reflection. I think that in all honesty, for me, there is a significant qualitative difference between a child's dead father and a child's dead sibling who never even had the chance of life outside the womb. From what I understand children who grow up without, say, a father may have legitimate questions from a very young age about why they don't have one when a lot of their playmates do. There are also very many helpful 'props' which may help a child in the processing of what this means for example, photos of him as a man, family videos in which they may see resemblances in themselves and their living relatives, memories of his tastes and ideas on a whole host of subjects which I, friends and family can share with the child in order to build a picture of him and his life which would, I think, helpfully go some way to address the absence of a living daddy figure in their lives. Because of this it is possible that I may introduce the idea of 'daddy' from an earlier age than I would try to explain the idea of a stillbirth and a sibling which never had a chance of life outside the womb, but I would nevertheless in both cases make every attempt not to overburden a small child with my own complicated and heavy feelings of grief, having as I indicated in my post -- had to bear far too much responsibility for TMI of an adult-emotional nature as a small child. But a really interesting thought-exercise for which I am grateful, thank you. As other posters have said, you will do the best for yourself and your family, but I hope you agree that it is sometimes useful to explore different approaches to the very difficult aspects of life.
A good, if totally sloggish day at the desk for me. I did 'work' in front of the telly this evening, with the aid of, Strictly and a lot of chocolate and crisps (to balance out the potentially too-healthy meals consisting mainly of veggies from the lottie). DH being a total star, cooking and all sorts as I trundle through files and footnotes I haven't looked at for too many years. Breakfast with another old mate tomorrow and so excited about telling her about the twins! After which - off to the library to check yet more arsing footnotes and then back to the desk. But I am determined to fit in an hour at the lottie to admire all DH's recent stirling efforts.
Still loving my hair! It was blow-dried so nicely I want to keep it forever ? but it will def. turn greasy tomorrow! Those who are teetering - go get your hair done!
Quick catch-up:
kirsty, bloody hell!!! hope you are feeling much better now 
three you can def take an inhaler for the asthma if nec. Flutters!
hermione keep us all posted on the Hilary D. programme if you keep watching it! be interesting to see how it develops (without having to watch it and potentially get cross with it, hehe!)
shield so glad all was well on the scan, phew! and hooray for extra scans.
chipbutty if you PM me your RL name as it appears on your FB page and an idea of what your profile pic shows I'll friend you; if you accept I can add you to the page. Or you can do this with anyone on the thread who is in the group - but group is v. secret and only FB friends can add peeps. (If that makes any sense at all?v. late, v. tired!)
night all.