March 2013 Mk V: Lumpy bumpy witty knitters (patiently) await the bloom!

[Chefette]

New one marchers sorry on phone and can't link! Will post title in our old thread x

Ugh just opened my post today and have a letter from GP asking to come on to discuss my ovarian cancer test results next week. Thinking- cant be urgent, but still not feeling great about it.

Stupid cyst, stupid tests. Even now it's burst it's still trying to upset me!

turkish I hope everything is okay with results, I'm sure if it was urgent they'd get you in immediately. My gp used to send letters asking me to make an appointment to discuss 'test results' for me to work myself up and them to say 'oh yes, everything came back clear'!! Think they've stopped wasting NHS time with that one though now!!
I have my appointment with a consultant tomorrow 9am to give consent to surgery... Fairly sure I agreed two weeks ago but hey Jo if they insist on seeing me again who am I to complain, fx I get an op date - I am a little nervous about it though!!

Hey ho not Jo

Evenin'!

Thanks for all the kind messages yesterday, I was having quite a grump! Sadly today more sick not less and it generally does seem to be getting worse again not better but hopefully another couple of weeks and it will calm down - was 16 or 17 weeks when it faded with DS (though was never this bad!) and am 15 weeks today. Posative attitude and all that

Three I would love and feel I definately deserve a sleeps-through-the-night-at-one-week-old baby this time given DS1 was 19 or 20 months before he ever slept through and at 2 still doesn't do it consisitantly. Not holding my breath though, we seem to be a family who bread bad sleepers!

Ood, glad to hear your GD is back home and much improved.

Turkish fingers crossed for your test results, though as others said, if it was urgent they'd have had you in quicker.

And since there has been so much chat about house renovations, just adding our offer that was accepted about 3 or 4 weeks ago now is finaly progressing so fingers crossed it all goes smoothly now and we have a new house soon. We've always rented until now so this is our first home of our own. There will be very little for us to do once in (which is good for us as we are both useless at DIY and lack energy and motivation for that sort of stuff). Probably touch up some paint and the attic room could do with decorating but the rest is pretty lovely as it is.

Great news on teh alst wave of scans. Looks like (unless I missed it in my brief absence) we just have Manda for twins then.

Right, it's my bed time. night night all.

Dd1 was my sleep through the night baby

Dd2 however

Dd3 has been somewhere in the middle. Slept through once in nearly two years but as long as she gets mummy milk she's fine so I've not pushed it. She's been v easy child up until now though is developing a two year old mind

Turkish - get thee to GP & find out what they wish to discuss. Letters like that really aren't helpful. Last time I had one it was to say they'd messed up & could I have test again.

Thanks everyone. I will call first thing tomorrow. I think it's irresponsible to send those letters out!

FX we all have sleep through the night babies!! We deffo all deserve it!

Oooh new Grand Designs! Going to watch and try to catch up with the thread all at once

Ood, that is really great news for you and the family. What a relief!

Don't worry too much Funny about the docs next week. Like you say, it doesn't sound too urgent ? ooh but yes - have just read latest advice to call tomorrow. V.g. idea. Do it!

Good idea to update the stats thread, Chefette! Yep, Flowery, think I'm the only twin-pregnancy on here. There's another thread with FOUR ladies with twins and we're all in the same week! I find that really exciting but I think I have scared everyone off with my enthusiasm!!

Yay for good scans, Vivee, Ooee and Sundae! Now, if my babies are not doing backflips at the next scan I'm going to be

Woop for extra free scan, Tramp

Thanks to you too Pink for dryer advice. And the LG recommendation! Yep, Bicester's just up the road but we've only been once or twice!

JoJo you're going to have to post a pic of the hills and the mountains from your upstairs when you're finished with the renovations!

Very nice place, Sarah! So light and lots of clean lines.

Dame the woman advising me in M&S yesterday showed me a matching pinky-purple maternity set. The knickers are the only mat. pants she says M&S do - under the bump, but very stretchy. I know others have given good advice about the job, but I reckon the moment you get too uncomfy with the bump, or once the baby arrives, work will seem as if it's in another world! A friend of mine at about 35 weeks, who is as determined as me not to let go of work, has suddenly got all nesty and can't wait to stop work! So I think it will just happen.

Yeay for happy scans!
Another household v excited about heated clothes horse. Thanks for the recommendation!

Manda I heart grad designs a lot. Love the end bit best!!

Lexi we're gonna have the best dry clothes ever!!

Didn't sleep well worrying about stupid test. Grrrrr. Phoning first thing...well, once I get a gap in teaching!

Hospital at 9am and surprise, surprise I feel nauseous! I'm detecting a pattern here,,, nerves perhaps?!
Happy Thursday everyone!

Tramp oh my gosh thank you so, so much for the list of dresses and accessories - you are amazing! At work the ladies who are going have organised a personal shopper at Debenhams but now I can say I have my own! one of the ladies (never been pregnant) asked me why I can't just buy a dress a size larger than normal - 'that'll hide the bump' she said, I don't want to hide the bump! Me and baby Boo have worked hard for it!

I was in tears at work yesterday, not in front of anyone thankfully. I work in IT and I've found that I just can't cry at work, in my first IT job I was in tears after a customer laid in to me and I never had any respect again amongst my colleagues. All men teams and tears just don't mix. Anyway, I just suddenly had the realisation that my life is going to change and there's so many bits of my identity that I've had to give up and now I feel like I'm disappearing. All my friends that have babies are very very babycentric and were before babies, I knew I didn't want to be like that and that I still wanted my hobbies that make up who I think I am, but I haven't been able to do any of my hobbies and don't see how I'm going to change in to a mum, I can't even say out loud that I'm going to be a mum! I spoke to my BF who was amazing and very understanding but she did ask why I hadn't had this realisation before now. DH thinks its a sign I'm getting better ms wise that this is sinking in now. BF suggested that I should start cycling again as this was one of my main hobbies and makes me so ridiculously happy, makes me think of my late dad and I've sorely missed it. However, everything I read says no to cycling, what do you ladies think?

I have a pedometer and I find every time I walk 5 miles and above I get cramping, I'm taking this as a sign I should calm the exercise down a bit but everyone else says they were exercising well in to their pregnancies, I have no idea how you are running and spinning Vivee !

Yippyyay for yesterday's scans, good luck for getting to the bottom of tests/letters.

My car has decided to be in a sulk so is bound for a garage today. Lots of sucking of teeth by DP, and furrowed brow, he said it feels expensive, def not what we need given the house costs that will hopefully not spiral out of control

Happy day everyone, thanks all for kitchen and bathroom suggestions.

JoJo I've found that every time I'm nervous or angry I am sick, making me giggle cos it makes me think of the girl in Just William who says 'i'm going to scream and scream until I'm sick!'

Hope the hospital appt goes well JoJo. Really good this is getting slowly sorted. Let us know how you get on.

I too love the end bit, Funny, when Kevin does his summing up! not that I have a tiny crush on him at all!

Hermione, maybe think of it as you evolving rather than you disappearing? That's what I'm doing. Am determined to maintain important bits of my pre-baby life post-birth, to the extent of already having a provisional plan for a mother's help / nanny during maternity leave so I can keep working on my publications etc. Work (i.e. research) for me is my main 'hobby', what makes me fundamentally happy and is closely bound up with my sense-of-self. (This may not sound healthy, but it's pretty standard for academics!) I accept I don't know quite how I'm going to change as a mum, but I do know how hard I've worked to get where I am now and I also know that if I were to give it up and look back from, say, my 60s, I'd be really sad for the things lost. Plus I have been busy carrying on organising conferences for next October and commissioning work for edited volumes I plan to edit ? so a continuation is already built into the diary!

As for cycling, funnily enough, one thing I have given up this summer is co-running and administering a women-only cycling group in Oxford. It's been going for 4 years and I've handed it over to a perfectly able team. TBH I became less interested in the minutiae of the group once I got settled/married and wasn't so energetic about meeting new friends etc. BUT this is just to say that (a) some things you may choose to give up and (b) other things things you may decide to make time for and (c) cycling rocks!!!

I have been annoyed about the advice against cycling. True, I'm feeling I don't have the power to cycle as safely as I'd like to on the road (i.e. I'm a bit slow as I cramp slightly if I try to go really fast!) but towpaths etc are great. If you liked weekend leisure cycling then I think that's perfectly fine. I think my speedy drop-handlebar bike is now in the shed for the foreseeable, but my shopper-with-a-basket is definitely going to be used whenever I got out till I'm too damn big! Who was it on here who said she knew someone who even cycled home from having her pre-labour 'sweep'?!! That's my kinda girl!

(Sorry for the essay!)

Hermione - I can tell you now that I've no intention of losing myself. Everyone is different. Some women spend their lives fantasising about getting married & hyperventilate at thought that table napkins don't match the flowers. Others long for babies from a small age and just want to be Mums. Thats fine. Personally I wanted to find my own way and as a Mum I'll be helping my child to do the same. I'll continue to run my business. I'll continue to have a good social life - it'll be a tiered baby and non baby social life but that's cool. I'll continue to find me time when I need it, because if I don't I'll go mad - and no one would like me when I'm mad. I'll be honest I'm looking forward to the challenge and the evolution of myself and my relationship with MrM. And also, once Socs is older, I'm looking forward to playgrounds, water pistols and adventures.

If you love cycling but are cramping, try a gentler cycle as noted above. Or give swimming a go - it'll be nice tinfloat when you're bigger too.

And you'd be crazy if the enormity of it all didn't hit you.

Lexi & Turkish - we could start a heated clothes horse club :)

Zoey - thinking of you today.

Zoey hope all has gone well and turkish hope you find the doc's letter is all a fuss over nothing!

re:Hermione and losing yourself - I can totally relate to this, and it's one of the reasons I didn't have children earlier. I've been quite focused on my career and enjoy my rather nice 'DINKY' lifestyle, and during the first few weeks of pregnancy all I could see were the sacrifices DH & I needed to make and the things I'd have to give up. Now I'm starting to come round to the thought that things I've learnt at work and about myself over the last 33 years will help me with my little one, the experience of being a mother will surely inform and improve the way I face the working world afterwards, and that I will still be able to socialise as 'me' even if I am with the baby. I appreciate a few child-free friends will probably drift away, but certainly not all; many of my dearest friends have children and I didn't see them any differently or find them boring once they gave birth! And I hope I'll meet some new friends to fill the gaps. I'm trying to spend time over the next few months talking to DH about the kind of parent I want to be, the things I really feel I can't give up (like the odd night out with the girls on my own!) and the ways the LO can fit into our dreams rather than us changing everything around them. Anything is possible!

Just popping in to say that NCT lady just phoned and booked us onto a class that starts mid-November, when I'll be 24 weeks! Very soon, but she says it's often advisable with multiples as they can come so early and I'll be too big to move soon after that! Glad we decided to do it after all. Oh, and there is another couple locally who are expecting twins in the same month so I hope she can get us both onto the same course or at least put us in touch with each other for moral support! Hope everyone's having good days.

Hmmm. Am reading the thoughts about working and 'losing yourself' with interest. Before I had my son I had the same sorts of thoughts, but for me everything changed once I was a mother. Because his early arrival was so dramatic, and things were literally life and death for a few months, what was important to me came very clearly into focus and has never really gone away. Although I am a full-time worker (we couldn't afford anything different really though I would love to be part time and plan to be, somehow, after this next one), my priority is my family and always will be. I think one of the things you don't anticipate before you have kids is how much you change as a person and how much your priorities can change.

Having said that, I do remember the utter shock of going from being an 'acheiver' to the endlessly long days of feeling like I was 'acheiving nothing'. I truly believe there should be orientation courses for working women to get them used to the idea that there is no tickbox and no intray to empty with a baby, and that you are acheiving things all the time but they're just not measurable. It can be very hard to adjust. I definitely found it so.

But you will 'lose yourself' a bit. Don't beat yourself up about it, it's inevitable. You have a tiny human being utterly dependent on you for everything and you can't change that - it will change on its own eventually as they get older, and you will pick up the old things you used to do. But don't give yourself the added stress of trying to be and do everything you used to as well as be a new mum - you'll drive yourself mad!

Not lecturing. Just thoughts. Hope it doesn't come across as being a bossy boots. Just my experience.

My interpretation of "losing myself" was that you become one of those ladies who ONLY talks about their child. The sort of women who either lose their way a bit and channel all of their ambitions and energies in to their children(deeply unhealthy), or just seem to only exist in the context of motherhood(fair enough, but eventually your children have to leave, then what?). I have no intention of becoming this sort of woman and if I do MrM is under strict instructions to get me committed.

Reassessing your values and what is important to you etc must happen, if it doesn't, well what the heck are you becoming a parent for? And the idea that life will be exactly as it was, albeit with a small human - as seductive as that thought is I am under no illusion that it is going to be a right hook followed by a left followed by a gut punch in life terms and there is sod all I can do to prepare for it apart from just go with the flow and take life as it comes. Once again - Manda, woaha!

Sarah - your wisdom is much appreciated.. I think all the first timers know only too well they are in for a shock. Its more, can I still be me. And of course the answer is yes. Unless you are a crazy person :)

Turkish - let us know how you are won't you

...The working/career-woman Mothers support group made me laugh by the way. What a fantastic idea! Although I would be shocked if I had a small human that was open to any sort of organisation. I am expecting a minature subversive contrarian. Considering MrM and I it would be a huge surprise if any child of ours wasn't. On the plus side, we're both pretty easy going so fingers crossed Socks will be too.. but you never can tell.

sarah wise words! It's so hard to know how we will feel as first-time mums. I know my life will change in ways I can't even imagine...but I guess my point was that I've realised this will be overall positive, not just a 'give things/bits of my self up for the baby' situation. Great to have the benefit of your experience on the thread

Hello all - sarah I officially have serious house envy!! and thank you also for sharing your thoughts on the idea of 'losing yourself' hermoine and tramp too. My thoughts are that perhaps with every major life experience we all gain another dimension of ourselves in this ever evolving thing called a lifetime. I'm an eternal optimist as you can see!! I'm aware that there will be really big changes but I'm looking forward to many of them- some scared me a bit, for starters I realised that my parents are almost 7 hours drive away (you'd have think I noticed that before?) which may be a bit harder to manage for a Friday- Sunday visit. Being that we wont be able to do our usual of drive like loons after work on Friday with barely a break aiming to hit home before midnight ( and failing)- and leave as late as we can Sunday to be zombielike at work the next day and thus we'll have to change the routine - this probably doesn't sound like a massive deal but in my head it translated to mean I'd be seeing my family even less frequently than I already do. My mother put me straight on that one " that road runs in both directions, and there are things called planes". Holidays will be different - unlikely that we'll be able to spend hours in a dusty museum for years 2 and 3, work patterns will also change, but like you all I'm up for the challenge.

Ooee and Sundae - congrats and hurrah for the scans!!

Flowery - that sickness just marches on, I am thinking of you. Hopefully not long to go if your past history can be used as a guide. A baby that sleeps through at a week is definitely required.

Turkish - someone has already said it but GO TO THE DOCTOR!!! I speak here from the experienced position of one who put it off once and wish I had not.

Manda and all thanks for work advice I have given myself a strict talking to and submitted the strategy ( am strong woman of substance ha ha)...also thank you for M&S sugestion. I am off there tonight.

This evening a team of friends are coming around to remove the futon company thingie from te backof my car where it is currently living and to move it and the bathtub currently situated in front of the oven and dishwasher up to our third floor. My DH has got on the case with the builders and the roof fixing has been planned in...perhaps the ensuite will even get done before March.... and manda I am changing cleaner for one who turns up when I want not when she fancies. Today is a positive - can do day full of promise..... as soon as I get up off the work bathroom floor and mop this hobo chic vomit mark off my top ; - )

..and lexi thank you also for joining the discussion - my name checks are RUBBISH!

anyone I have not mentioned it is not purposeful, bad memory and mobile phone MN.

Flamingo - wow get you!!!

I was all set for a cheese & beans toasty for lunch, then remembered the left over cold pizza from last night. Yum.
....I really am going to have to force myself to eat healthily again.

Phew, what a morning.
Saw the consultant - surgery could be next week or the week after. I tried pushing for keyhole but it's not likely to happen. Despite being 17+4 I apparently have a uterus the size of 20 weeks...? Which means it's already at belly button level so probably unsafe for keyhole!! Telescope has to go in through belly button etc
So likely to be a cut with a 3 day stay in hospital, risks to the baby have same odds as amniocentesis which I think is good.
They can't guarantee I'll have two ovaries when I wake up but until they open me up they can make no definite statements!
I now have to wait for a phone call on Monday... Which I have no idea if that'll come or not as the last 3 haven't BUT this time I walked straight to reception and got their direct number!! I'll chase them up myself!!