November 2012 - into the third trimester

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1529536-November-2012-reaching-the-six-month-mark

Stats list: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1485512-November-2012-Stats-List

I'm useless at identifying tightenings too. Sometimes bump feels tight but don't really notice it come and go iykwim? Last time round I got sent into hospital when mw noticed DS's heart rate slowing at routine appt around 41 weeks. Turns out I was having tightenings but didn't realise - cord was round his neck and being pulled tight with each tightening hence tge heart rate. Was all fine, but this time around I still feel like I don't really know if what I'm feeling are BHs or just general heavy bumpiness!

Okay, so my personal resolution from now on is to persist in a more varied diet for DS, even if he refuses my carefully constructed meals! catbag and stuntnun, do you just refuse to give your DCs anything else if they won't try the food and let them go hungry? I have thought about doing that but then also read stuff that says don't stress and make every mealtime a fight, just keep offering, take away what they won't eat and praise what they will. So tonight for example he got bread & cheese after refusing the spag Bol.

Dixie I absolutely refuse to give the LOs anything else if they refuse what they've been given. In my experience little people are hard-wired to survive and I've only ever had to do it a couple of times over the course of years because their self-preservation instinct kicks in. If you just take away what they won't eat, there's no incentive to eat the thing they don't like, especially if they get things like bread and cheese instead. I ALWAYS praise them for eating, but hold pretty firm on the other stuff.

Sometimes the claiming-not-to-like-something is a power play too, I've noticed

Oh I'm sure it's all a power thing. He'll often stuff bread and fruit in Sainsburys that he just wouldn't touch at home! I like tge idea of star chart but think he's a bit little to understand. As tge fussiness started under a year old I was a bit wary of not giving him anything to eat at all, in fear he'd wake at night hungry! But now maybe need to get stricter!

Sophiathesnowfairy It depends on the type of hyponobirthing course you do. The one my friend is doing for won't involve my DH but generally the courses do involve your partner.
The funny thing is, my two friends who had the best experiance with hypnobirthing, both have the most no nonsense husbands who would have laughed at the suggestion it might work, but were presauded to go along with it an were both amazed and raving about how amazing it all turned out. They both had really great text book 'easy' water births.

I went to the library today, and reserved the Marie Mongan Hyponobirthing book. I'll get the CD online. Or possibly DP can download it somewhere. Not sure, but if it's there, he'll find it!

Hopefully it will be in my grubby little hands before long ;)

Am very impressed with our library, it opened last year, and it's fantastic! I'd not been before today. DS and I have got 20 books/cd's/dvd's between us! We had to carry them through the town centre for the 10 minute walk back to the car! Must find nearer place to park next time!

I've been bitten on my leg by some bastard bug while out walking the dog this evening. Not. Impressed. Grrrr! Also got the achy bump today, but know its because I've done a lot again! Quite uncomfortable tightenings, but starting to settle now I'm finally on the couch! YW hope you rang, even if just for reassurance :)

I've got a bit of pain on weeing. Bastard UTI rearing it's head again maybe. Sometimes I get the pain but it just goes on its own, and just the one episode of pain when weeing. Hoping it is just that this time, but feel a little tender in the fandango.

Horsey sounds like you (or more likely DH) need a frank conversation with FIL. He does need you both right now, it hasn't been long since he lost his wife. But he needs to know the boundaries. Visits are fine, but pre-arranged, and certainly not every day! Why not set days and times when you do go on mat. leave? So that he doesn't just turn up at inappropriate times. It certainly needs addressing. Do you enjoy his company in small doses?

DH Men sometimes need these things spelling out to them. I understand how you feel. Sometimes I'm climbing the walls on days off when I am stuck at home with nowhere to go, and no money to do anything (or possibly too tired!) and I've got DS at least to talk to. But a 10 year old doesn't replace the adult company I crave, and the only adult I really want to be with is DP! When DS was little, and I didn't work/wasn't at college or uni, I ended up feeling so low, we didn't leave the house for days on end, not through choice really. With a small child it was 10x harder than it is now! :( Hope you can have a good chat with him and he gives you the support and love you need and deserve!

I'm scouring eBay for baby clothes bargains. I am coming across Next clothes I bought for DS over 10 years ago! I'm finding it rather strange! I don't know why, I guess I just didn't expect to see stuff from what feels like forever ago on there!! I have even found the same vibrating bouncer, swing, and one of the many prams I had (a Paul Vogel one) that was fairly rare! Seems baby stuff can really last!

I've also decided I'm going to make a pregnancy and newborn picture scrapbook.
I've got loads of pictures this time around, from the tests to scans, pictures of babies room, things we bought, the 'baby drawer' that was started that became an entire cot full of stuff, to a room filled! And the bump pics, I've got pics from about 13 weeks, before bump sprouted! I'm going to drawer on the bump when it gets a little bigger, going to draw a silly mustache face and take a picture. Might get DS to write on the bump a message and take a picture of that too! Going to do it on the sly, and give it to DP for Christmas. I think he would love it. It would be a present off the baby to him!

Omg heart burn doing my head in. It eases up then I burp n it gets worse again.

Just watched midwife. Crazy how different ppls lives can be.

Starting to feel really sleepy now so better put phone down n try some shut eye. Night night

Middle of the night thought and addition to labour bag (don't think I saw it on the previous list) anyway without further ado here it is.......

Change for the car park.

Or rather

Bank loan for the car park!

I guess my dh isn't so unusual then. I'd love to do nothing for a few days to show him how much I do.
I think I've been reading fifty shades too much and getting unrealistic expectations!

It's like that pic on fb where the woman is sitting in a absolute mess of a house with the kids running riot and everything is a state and the husband comes home and says what's happened? She says 'you know you ask me everyday what I do, well today I didn't do it!'
I wish I could do that!

I don't see the point in talking to him though, it's just what he's like and I'm more needy atm but he won't change.

On an entirely different note, I've got a gro egg, I need to dig it out actually they're so useful.

Morning chaps,

Sorry to here about hubby problems. While I accept that pregnancy must be a weird thing for them it does seem sometimes like it's not the ladies who lose all common sense! I am lucky with DH - initially I think he was in shock but he's all action stations now. I wonder if knowing he will be a stay at home dad means he just has to engage fully?

I've just thought, does anyone know how itala is? She must have had her baby by now!

hi all,

I didn't do hypnobirthing with DD, but I did CalmBirth which is the Australian version. It was amazing, I recommend it to everyone over here. Me and DH did it at our place and it was so empowering. It took away all fears we had and explained evry single thing. We did a small section on 'unexpected outcomes' and that was invaluable as I had an unplanned homebirth with dd, she arrived in 1.5 hours and DH delivered her. It was so special and not frightening at all.

We have a groegg, used it with DS when he was still sleeping in with us but found that sometimes when the room temp was hovering on tge borderline between either cold/fine or fine/hot, we got disco lights all night as the colour switched from blue to yellow or red! We stopped using it in end!

Itala had a boy www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/a1504325-July-2012-when-we-all-get-to-meet-our-babies#33155613

Dixie my DSs get what's on the menu, take it or leave it. Obviously we cook things they like sometimes - pizza, chicken nuggets etc. it's not all pate fois gras and oysters lol. We may offer a dessert e.g. yoghurt or ice cream if we want them to eat more. On the paediatrician's advice we give them 'supper' at bed time as well which is usually milk and biscuits or toast or yoghurt, so they're getting four meals a day.

I would recommend introducing a star chart as soon as you can, it's a great method of parenting. We follow the Incredible Years parenting method where there are two methods of discipline: time out and consequences, and there are two methods of reward: praise and stars. It provides a consistent approach.

We all pick the dinners we're going to eat during the week, one of those days is usually a ready meal (DS2 roast, DS1 curry) that I've frozen beforehand. They get served an appropriate amount and they can either eat it or go hungry. They usually opt for eating it.

DD eats with us most days, unless we're having something spicy or whatever, she went through a phase of not eating her dinners, which was very frustrating! I cut out afternoon snacks for a while which did the trick! She usually has something in the afternoon now again though and still eats her dinner most of the time.

Will look into that Incredible Years parenting stuntnun, thanks. We haven't done anything like that yet but think we will need something once we've got 2 running around!

Still trying to catch up on this thread

Just wondering, those of you who are going for the Maxi Cosi Cabriofix. Are you going for the Easyfix base or the Familyfix base?

I don't know whether to go for the Familyfix so then we can get the pearl that fits it at Stage 1. It also has a couple of tilt positions so the cabriofix should last longer. Or to just get the Easyfix and a different stage 1 seat.
I could do with trying them both in the car with our car seat but don't know if they only let you do that if you're buying from them.

Kissyfur it's brilliant because it gives you routines that you follow. My DH would tend to get a bit 'creative' with punishments, it would be a case of him losing the rag and suddenly it's smacked bum time or no pocket money this week. With the Incredible Years system they get one warning, e.g. if you don't stop doing X then you'll have a time out, and if they don't stop then it's straight to the time out step for one minute for every year of their age up to a maximum of five minutes. It's hard to get them to stay on the step at first, you have to keep taking them back there which is why it's better to start when they're young, and they're not allowed any toys on the step and nobody talks to them, if they speak you just ignore them. It's so boring pretty soon they'll do anything to avoid the time out step (doesn't have to be a step it can be any boring quiet area). The other discipline is consequences, which is just the natural consequence for their bad behaviour - you broke your brother's toy so you have to save your pocket money to buy a new one, or you didn't eat your dinner so you have to go hungry.

The other side of the coin is positive praise, EVERY TIME they do something right you praise them with specific labelled praise. It feels a bit fake at first but after a while it comes naturally. It has to be specific though, you don't just say "Great boy", you have to say "That's a great boy, you picked up all of that rubbish I asked you to clean up and put it in a bin. What a fantastic job." That way they know exactly what they have done right so the good behaviour gets reinforced. The weird thing is you have to avoid saying things like "You're so clever" you have to praise the effort so you would say "You worked really hard on that, well done for concentrating so well". Otherwise it's like saying you're handsome or you're talented, you aren't praising the behaviour. Obviously you can still say you're handsome to your son but it isn't part of the praise system.

Both my boys have a start chart which you can buy or make yourself. The ones we have have stars with velcro on the back so they can be stuck and removed (when they get a reward) really easily. You usually have a prearranged list of what they get stars for and this will be different for each child. My DS2 gets one star for trying everything on his plate, two for eating everything, three for eating seconds as well but DS1 doesn't get the one star for trying anything anymore because he was using that to just do the bare minimum in order to get a star (he's too clever for his own good unfortunately). They get one star for walking the dog, one star for cleaning up their toys after them, two stars for getting dressed and having their breakfast before 7.45 at term time, one star for trumpet practice, etc. Five stars can be traded in for a lucky dip from the rewards bag which contains Moshi Monsters stickers, Pez sweets, badges, basically any small item. You could also have free rewards such as choosing which DVD to watch or having an extra story at bedtime or choosing dinner that day, it doesn't have to cost you any money. We do use it when the boys want something, e.g. there's a new Hero Factory toy that they HAVE TO HAVE OR THEY'LL DIE then we would buy it and decide how many stars they have to earn before they get it. We would make them get 15 stars to earn a toy up to £5 in value because that teaches them the value of working to save up for something. Usually they get to five stars and they want a reward right away so it's hard for them to be patient enough to wait for 15 stars. DS1 wanted a Batmobile one time that cost £30 and we made him save up 90 stars for it. It took ages, we had a chart like they used to have on Blue Peter that he filled in every time he got ten stars. Absolutely great training for someone with impulse issues that always want things right now.

Sorry for the long post, that doesn't even describe the whole system but I just wanted to give you an idea of how it works. And it really works well, especially with DS1 having ADHD we need to be in control and we get that through the system.

www.amazon.co.uk/Incredible-Years-Carolyn-Webster-Stratton/dp/1892222043/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1345022798&sr=1-1

hello all wow we all go through threads like there is no tomorrow.

well today is a very exciting day for me. my sister has finally gone into labour after being 8 days overdue.......so ill be getting snuggles befor our LO is here.

well she is tending to hiccup a hell of alot lately at all times of the day, but generally like to do it just as im going to sleep lol. bless her.

anyone else having regular BH not painful but slightly uncomfortable sometimes?

what are everyones craving then? anything extremely weird? mine is peeled plum tomatoes (tinned) i hate tomatoes usually , very strange.

hope all is well

(27+3)

Aw, congrats to your sister jaylee

Yes to BH, although bordering on painful, depending on how full my bladder is :(

I have developed my first unhealthy craving of this pregnancy (other cravings have been avocados and chickpeas)- Barratts Refreshers, you know the fizzy fruit flavoured sweets? I don't let my kids eat those but I woke up on Sunday with the certain knowledge that my life would suck unless I could get hold of some. The only place that sold them in our market town was the newsagents so I bought them all and now I'm waiting for them to get some more delivered :(

Congratulations to your sister jaylee hope your getting snuggles soon!

Haha catbag you brought them all, have you hidden them well from your DCs?

Have a MW appoitment today, it's been a really quick 3 weeks since the last one so looking forwar to hearing heart beat again I have a more peaceful few days still busy busy but not crazy and I love how much more I can feel her

catbag you can get 48 packs from Amazon for £12.48 free delivery. May be a cheaper option? Or eBay?

Oh. My. God. VQ You are a genius.

Of course, by the time they arrive you will be craving something else! Good for party bags though I guess

Hi all, my god this thread moves fast!

Amazon is fab for cravings, at the start of this pregnancy all I wanted was cheesy chips with burger sauce (I blame it on the morning sickness) and there are very very few chip shops that stock burger sauce so I bought three litres of the bloody stuff, for £8 :)

Stunt That sounds very similar to Super Nanny's methods, i'm not quite at that stage with DD yet but will definitely try something along those lines. I think it's incredibly important for a child to learn the value and importance of things and having to earn the things they want.
I do already get DD to help me around the house though as there is no way i'm spending the rest of my life tidying up after everyone else!

Here's a question - has anyone elses milk come in yet? After discovering a wet patch on my top the other night I realised mine must have come in, so I tried hand expressing a bit and it has. Obviously I won't be expressing any but it's a bit annoying that i'm already using breast pads and have no baby to feed!
I didn't get any milk in my last pregnancy until she was born so it's new to me.