Flying mattress graduates - dock here!

[festiemum]

Hey chaps! Here's the space for us to witter on incessantly about our pregnancies!

20 week scan today and it was soooo fantastic! I'll post some pics on my profile later. The sonographer wasn't 100% sure, but thought that it was probably a girl, due to lack of visible meat and two veg!

Hope everyone's doing well! xxx

Festie so sorry to hear about what's happened. Thinking of you at this troubling time.
And make sure you gloom away on here, it's what we're for!

Berries got you a nice comfy armchair right here, and won't be moving the reserved sign for anyone else!

Chips how exciting! You won't believe the difference between the first and second scans, it's ridiculous the size and development difference.

Lil when packing your hospital bag, remember that when your baby is here, they'll expect them to be wearing a short-sleeved babygrow AND a sleepsuit. Baby socks fitted over the sleeves stay on better than scratch mitts! Don't forget snacks, because they only come round with food at set times, and the shops in hospital are stupidly expensive- DH paid £2.49 for a tube of pringles, I nearly killed him! I made sure there were easy portable things in the cupboards, then when DH came in to visit he'd bring a bag of goodies we could scoff- especially because the hospital doesn't feed partners!
Glad you've slept a bit better. It's not for much longer.

Better go.
Need to fit in a nap before MiL comes over (back from Rio again!) and judging by the series of epic farts followed by sudden yelling, Phoebe has done something in her undercrackers...

Wrote a massive post this morning and then lost it, so went off in a huff.

Anyway, thanks for your kind thoughts. It's such a hard act to fathom. I know the kids needing to be told is looming. They're in good spirits, and I know this will make them very, very sad. :(

Still, life has to go on, and I am mostly feeding, rocking and cleaning up a little stinky titch! :) She's doing just fine!

Good call on the hospital bag rus. I remember stocking up at the garage on Pilton Quay on my way up to NDDH, lil!

Hope things are looking a bit more manageable, rus. For what it's worth, as someone who's suffered with depression all my life, I've only had PND once, and I have to say; the support of the hcps I saw was second to none. From the Health Visitor to GP and the counsellor I eventually saw. You may find you feel better as Phoebe's feeding settles and you heal, after all, you've been through one hell of an ordeal. But if you don't, and you feel you need more support; don't hesitate to ask for it!

moo and disco - it's so exciting that you're so close to the half way stage. The 20 week scan is fab too!

And chips - you're heading into the 3rd trimester!

I really sympathise with the sleeping discomfort, lil. I know I'm waking for feeds now, but I still prefer that to all the weeing and epics trying to turn over!

Hope everyone is ok, anyway! xxx

Festie so sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you during this difficult time. Xxxx

Hope all is well with everyone. Will pop in again soon to properly catch up!!

Festie, I'm so sorry about your ex-FiL. I hope your children cope when they hear the news. I'm glad to hear all is well with you and Esme otherwise.

Rus, hope you are doing a bit better now. I echo what everyone else says and exhort you to get help if you need it. From what I know, even mothers with puerperal psychosis usually stay with their babies during treatment.

Berries, don't wish for twins! Go for triplets at least! Seriously though, even if you don't feel much hope I have hope for you and look forward to you coming back here permanently.

Lil, hope the sleep lately has been better. I am a bit worried about PND too but it seems a lot of women who are prone to depression actually find family life suits them www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2011/mar/05/depression-motherhood-children-viv-groskop?INTCMP=SRCH.

I do think if you have mild depression then keeping busy and not dwelling on yourself helps (it certainly helps me) so I'm hoping motherhood will suit me!

Rus, hope things are going well for you and that MiL will be a help. Hope you get your deep wallowing bath soon!

Moo, pleased the sickness is dying down, just hope the work situation does soon too!

My bump is getting some attention now (people keep eyeing me suspiciously anyway ) and its nice to be able to talk to people about it. The bump has even been called cute which is sweet. I went to a six year old's birthday party on Saturday and got a lot of comments along the lines of 'You've got all this to come!'

Mr Thompson didn't move much yesterday but s/he was wriggling around just now, phew. 17 weeks tomorrow!

Haha disco - triplets would be INSANE! At the moment I wish for any healthy baby. I have to say though these past two weeks have been much easier. I'm not on any ttc threads now (just popping in here and that doesn't really count as its not group ewcm and temp obsessing!) and that's better for me. I haven't used Cbfm this month and that's been good, peeing in a cup 10 days in a row is just too much of a reminder. I've ditched the pregnacare and just taking folic Acid... Been dtd eod but it's been much more relaxed and enjoyable. I don't think im anymore likely to get pregnant but I feel more 'normal' rather than some manic woman desperate to have a baby. Also had two pregnancy announcements yesterday and one at the weekend and the first thing I felt was genuine excitement for both mums to be.... So I MUST be doing better mentally!

Now I am officially a long term ttc-er I just want to live my life minus contraception and hopefully someday af won't show!

Glad the bump is in good shape disco.... Bet you look fab :)

Mools - how are you doing?

Festie - thinking of you

Xxx

Hey ladies,

Guess what I just stupidly volunteered to do?
Make the wedding invites for SiL who's getting married next August. What the bloody hell is wrong with me?!? Like I haven't got enough on my plate already... Maybe having a project to focus on for November will give me something to channel my energies into as a distraction from my rubbish feelings.
Going to talk to the health visitor about it next Wednesday, and in the meantime try to note when I feel like it and what triggers it, then I can see whether it's something I can take steps to avoid, or whether I need extra help.
I already have other projects to help distract me- this month I'm decorating for Hallowe'en, and planning an adventure quest for DH as a first date anniversary present (he's into warhammer quest type things), and then there's Christmas, and the house to decorate and presents to buy and make. Lots to look forward to. And after Christmas I'll paint the jungle room... groan... what was I thinking?!? Lol.

Feeling a bit crap at the mo as earlier I chose to sleep rather than prepare the next bottle feed in advance- thought I'd have more time than I did, but she was hungry, so I just had boobs to offer...2 shots at both sides, and she fed for a good while, but without the bottle she didn't sleep, wouldn't settle, and pretty much just cried for an hour until I got a feed made up... guess I won't be chucking out the formula anytime soon... :(

Disco once my bump appeared I loved it- took til I was about 8 months, but it was so nice having people ask if I wanted to sit down on buses and trains... and having people get outraged on my behalf when they didn't! Enjoy it while it lasts.

Berries sounds like a fantastic positive attitude you've got there. That's what's advised anyway, isn't it? EOD and sod the faffing with equipment.
DH pointed out to me a short while ago that if our chemical pg had worked out, then we wouldn't have had a Peanut. It might be that we get pregnant when we do because that's how it's meant to be- and our babies are destined to do great things! I'm sure it won't be long before you're running down the street with a pissy stick showing 2 lines to anyone you come across, lol.

Oops, sorry, meant to say Festie hope things are still as ok as they can be with you. X

Have any of you been to active birth classes or hypnobirthing? What would you recommend? I just want to learn some coping techniques, breathing, good positions etc nothing to hippyfied

Didn't do any of that I'm afraid Chips, although I wanted to.
Is it worth creating a new thread to ask, or seeing if there's already one where people have discussed this?
Once you're in the delivery room they'll be telling you to breath, and push, or not push, (lol, like you can stop yourself) but I expect any techniques would be useful for the bit before that.
My main regret is DH going home at 9pm when I was already having contractions, and not ringing him in the early hours when I was crying from the pain of being stuck on the monitor... Stupid Rusulka.

Sorry Chips I haven't done any of that either so no help there.

Baby bag is now packed and I've started making piles for me and DH. Will def include lots of snacks Rus but a bit concerned Dh will eat them all before we get that far - might have to hide them!

Disco i loved it once I actually had a bump - although I still had a year 4 come to me Tuesday and ask if I was pregnant and I am now huge!! Glad you are feeling lots of wriggles, it's really reassuring when you can feel them. Nearly half way through already!

Berries so glad you are feeling positive and chucking everything out, that's what worked for us. I have everything firmly crossed that you will have your little bean soon xxx

Moo hope sickness is still staying away, you are glowing and exams are going well.

Festie hope things are as good as they can be. Pleased to hear Esme is doing well and hope the other kids are ok too x

Rus how are things going? I know keeping busy helps and you're pretty much wonder woman but you do fill your plate! I'm sure you will do a lovely job of the invites but don't add to your stress. Also don't worry about a little formula top up, Phoebe is getting the goodness from you and the rest is simply filling. Hope you had a good chat with the HV yesterday and Phoebe is still gaining weight x

I had a MW app and Bp has gone from v low to high! MW took it again at the end and it had gone down a bit but she gave me info on P-E and told me to phone the hospital if I had any symptoms. She is having me back for an extra check up next week so at least she is keeping an eye on it. Felt rubbish last night but think it was something I ate - would that affect my bp?

Feeling better this morning and have managed to get the whooping cough and flu jabs booked in for next week so at least that is sorted. Have a good day all

Thanks anyway :)

Got my midwife appt today, first one since 16 weeks now 28+4.

Bought my buggy on Wednesday too and I'm dying to get it out but will wait until we move next Friday!

Hope everyone has a lovely Friday!

Big wave to everyone still around just so shattered to read and then post!
I forget everything just plodding on and praying all will be ok!
Still shakey and still need constant confirming from DH that all will be ok!
Feeling like this cant be healthy but its strong feelings I can't ignore!!!
Someone slap me and tell me being stupid!!!
Breath!

What is stressing you count? Is it the idea of something going wrong? I think those feelings are natural, but if they're overtaking everything, perhaps it's worth mentioning it to your midwife. She might, at least, be able to reassure you.

Oh no lil, I hope your bP isn't going to play silly buggers. Hopefully, it was just a blip.

chips - I just went with my instincts with regard to labour, but I know a lot of people swear by hypnobirthing etc. hope your midwife appointment goes well - it does seem like an awfully big gap between this one and your last one!

berries - we're all rooting for triplets for you now!! :o

Hey moo - hope the studying is going ok.

I think the bump and movements are the best thing about pregnancy, disco. Well, that and the baby at the end, anyway! :o

You're not taking on too much stuff rus, are you?! Hope Phoebe is still gaining and growing. Glad you're going to speak to the Health Visitor. They have a special questionnaire they can ask you, to assess whether they think you're at risk of PND.

Me and Esme are doing well. She's a bit of a boob monster, but apart from that she's remarkably chilled out. She's packing on the weight now, which means she looks a bit less like a plucked chicken, she's still potentially a bit jaundiced, so the HV wants us to put her by the window in her vest, or something.

Ex is round tonight to collect the kids and tell them about gramps. He's going to tell them here, so we're all available for support and then he's got a lovely weekend planned for them. Making a corner of the garden for gramps, planting bulbs etc; drawing pictures to go in the coffin and visiting gran who will take them to a beach they used to go to together. I have to say, he's certainly thought carefully about it and although I'm dreading it; I'm glad they'll have an opportunity to say goodbye in the their own way.

Hope everyone is well. Have a lovely weekend! xx

i'd take triplets in a heartbeat!

festie sounds like 'D'(?) Ex and you are handling it really well. lovely ideas that you are doing. Never easy telling little ones they've lost a loved one.

Thanks for the well wishes. am pretty hormonal today, DS is suddenly so grown up and I guess as it approaches the 'due' date of my ep baby it is tough, esp as not pregnant yet. Still, must be grateful for what I do have.

Hope you all have lovely weekends. sorry to not reply individually, i hope this doesn't sound selfish but it's hard to get into the 'newborn' chat in so much detail as it just chokes me up as i feel that's what i should be about to experience.

On the plus side I am the slimmest I've been since DS arrived so happy days! ;)

Ha ha berries! We get on well, but maybe 'd'ex is a step too far!! :o

It's lovely that you're here, and we all understand if you don't want to get mixed up in the specifics... It's completely understandable! xx

Festie it sounds like your ex has put lots of thought into telling the kids and his ideas are lovely. I hope it helps them to say goodbye and accept what has happened.

Berries we love it that you're here and can understand you not getting involved in the ins and outs of everything, chip in whenever you want and don't feel bad. Congrats on the skinniness!!!

What pram did you get Chips?

Count I hope you are ok. I'm sure your pregnancy is fine but if you're worried speak to your mw. Take care x

Still feel fine so hope my bp is back down when I go back on Wednesday. Have a friend who is a photographer and is going to do some bump to baby shots for us so off tomorrow to have the bump photos done. Bit nervous about it but told him there is to be no nakedness!! Enjoy the weekend all xx

How did telling the kids go Festie? Hope they got to say a nice goodbye in a meaningful way.

Hope everyone had a good weekend and bumps and babies are all getting on ok.

3 weeks to go until I become a lady of leisure (for a short time!)

Wow! It's whizzing along, isn't it lil?! Not long now!

Telling the kids was ok. Ex very upset and tearful. Kids did their best little serious faces, but were surprisingly stoical. They had a good weekend, ending up with lunch with Gran in a place Gramps liked. We collected them (The Boathouse in Instow lil - keep forgetting it's your neck of the woods too). My ex- MIL is a shell, as you'd imagine. But it was still a shock. Poor, poor woman. I asked the kids how she was, and they said she was sad, but having them around had made her happier. God, I hope so. Funeral's on Tuesday, so really hooping they'll all feel a bit better once that's done.

Anyway, we survived it. Dd1 is full of her birthday which is on Saturday, and she's having a friend to stay so I think that may take over our lives this week. Esme feeding an absurd amount. Lost count of how many times she woke me last night, the little minx.

Hope everyone had good weekends! xx

Count sorry that you are still feeling that things may go wrong. You need to remember that you have come through the most testing time, things will only get better from here and soon you will be holding that little bundle of joy. I know it's hard after everything you have been through, but you need to be kind to yourself and the worry and stress can't be good for you or for the little one. Maybe take an hour out of every day to remind yourself that everything is ok, have a long soak in the bath with some soothing candles and look forward to holding your little bobba very soon. How far along are you now?

Lil can't believe how quickly the time has gone by. Wowsers, 3 weeks and you will be well and truly on the countdown. Exciting times :) Hope that BP is behaving itself as well!!!

Rus how are things with you? Hope that Phoebe is continuing to gain weight and that you are getting into a routine and finding things a little easier now (despite having to make wedding invitations, although I bet they will be lovely!).

Festie glad that the children have been told and that they had a nice day with their grandma. It's a lot to take in for young children, but it's amazing how strong they can be. Glad that all is ok with Esme and as I said to Rus hope that you are also getting into a routine.

Disco can't belive you are 17 weeks :) where does the time go. It feels like only yesterday you were peeing on a stick and it was turning positive!! Glad you have a bump to be admired now as well. Have you got your 20 week scan booked in yet?

Chips how did the midwife appointment go? I can't wait to buy our buggy it's all just sooooo exciting. What type did you go for in the end?

Berries Maaaaaaaaaahooooooooooosive hugs to you!! So lovely to see you here and glad that you are taking a positive stance to the trials of TTC!

Well revision is going very very slow - 7 weeks until D-Day and I am absolutely dreading it. It all starts with a 10 minute presentation, which I am rubbish at, and then I am grilled for 50 minutes on absolutely everything and anything relating to buildings, their construction and what can go wrong with them. I can't wait :(

In baby news, I am coming up to 15 weeks; have my next midwife appointment on Thursday and my 20 week scan booked in for 20th November. Despite my argument as to not wanting to know the sex, we are going to find out; I think DH is desperate to know what we are having.

Sickness comes and goes, but for the last 3 or 4 days its more come than go and it's starting to get on my wick now. On top of that i have headaches to contend with, really itchy nipples and mildish cramping. I am definitely not blooming and have found spots on my face where i never usually get them. Starting to get a little bump now as well, which is making it feel all the more real.

Right........... best get on with some work sigh

Oh the joys of pregnancy Moo! Sorry you are still feeling sick but glad you are getting a bump now. Let your mw know about the itching / headaches, especially if your hands or feet start itching (my nipples itched too and drove me mad!)

The exam sounds tough so make sure you look after yourself - I'm sure you will ace it though x

Bless your kids Festie and their 'best little serious faces'. Glad it went as well as could be expected and hope the funeral was ok yesterday.

I love the Boathouse - particularly as it does lovely lemon brulee :) but avoid during the summer as a nightmare with all the tourists.

Hope things are going well Rus, Esme is gaining weight and you are feeling better about things x

Smoke alarm decided to go bonkers last night and went off 4 times for no reason. First time about 10.30 and by the 4th time at 1.30 I couldn't take it any more so DH and I tripped all the upstairs electric just to shut the thing up. By that time I was fed up, uncomfortable and sleep was not happening :( Not feeling my best this morning, think I might make a sign saying stay away and hang it round my neck! (Sure it will be worse after we have the baby though!)

Had flu and wc jabs yesterday, all ok and don't seem to have any after effects.

Have a good day all x

Hi all - thanks for all the reassurance I guess the road seems so long I guess I just keep thinking its going to we'll right now and half expect to wake up and me being pregnant was just a dream!
Well I'm feeling better as I'm feeling the baby move which feels strange and good at the same time I feel movement on either side and also quite low which is strange?????
Fast approaching 20 weeks!!!!!! And my gender scan!!!
Lil - not long now all this waiting hope the smoke alarm has been sorted!
Rus - how you doing??
Festie - hope you are well and the kids are well with all behind them!
Moo - whoop on your rounding tum, and the blooming stage! I'm still waiting!!! Sorry!!!

Right sorry if I missed anyone I'm so tired!!! Nite!

Count glad you are feeling better. Being able to feel baby is really reassuring and you'll soon be able to see him/her again.

Rus how is the bum and feeding going? Hope you are looking after yourself (I'm sure you are looking after Esme!) Did you have a chat with the hv about how you're feeling? Hope all is going well, take care x

Festie how are things with you? Hope things have calmed down for you a bit.

Moo don't work too hard!

at berries disco and chips Hope you are all ok

Getting a bit tired now but still don't feel ready to be a mummy! (Will I ever?) Am still enjoying being pg on the whole though.

DH has given me my christmas present early - a posh camera with lenses etc. We are going to have the most photographed baby ever! Now to read the phone book sized instructions so I can use the thing!

Hey ladies, sorry for radio silence, so to speak.
Things have been a bit grotty here.

Last Thursday when my midwife came round to check on me I cried all over her, telling her how I'd been feeling, so she made me an appointment with the doctor for the next day and told me to be honest about everything- he'd probably put me on antidepressants, and they wouldn't take Phoebe away.

So I was honest. Phoebe cried, I cried, I was a mess.
He said I needed to be referred to talk to someone, and then asked if I would wait at the surgery- he showed me to a side room so I could feed Phoebe. When he next appeared he looked at me funny like he was dealing with a dangerous snake, which really bothered me- I asked if I could go home to feed her as I was struggling, plus I didn't have a bottle with me- he said no.
That's when I started to panic, and phoned DH, who was on his way to work and came straight back to collect me.
I heard him come in some time later, and he talked to the dr first, then we left. On the way home he looked really awkward, and said that the dr had told him I was hearing voices telling me to hurt the baby. (!)
Needless to say, that is not what I said. This made me really angry, and also upset. How could he have got it so wrong? DH said he tried telling the dr I was concerned someone would take Phoebe away, and he said "it depends". What?!?
So we rang FiL, who raced out of school to take us to the hospital, which actually turned out to be a psychiatric hospital, and I was taken away for an assessment for an hour, separate from DH and Phoebe. I was miserable.
Fortunately, they just decided I had been through a lot and just wasn't coping very well as opposed to being psychotic, and I was discharged, but referred to social services.
Sigh.
It was a day of stress we could have all really done without.
I saw my health visitor on Wednesday, I've had various family and friends in and out ever since, and I've been given details of mother and baby groups I can go to so I can meet people in a similar situation to me.
Social services came out this afternoon and they don't seem too bothered either, so I think things are ok.
It's been a mess, but hopefully we're out of it now, and I'm feeling much better. I think the whole referral was a much needed slap in the face so I could get some perspective on how I was feeling, and I can see it now, but it was too hard at the time.

What a mess!

In good news, however, we have stopped setting alarms to feed her the past few nights and Phoebe has been sleeping through til at least 6:30, sometimes 7.
Then I've been feeding her and going back to bed, which works out really well.
In the last week she's started smiling, and yesterday morning I think she tried to say hi to me- I was smiling and saying 'hiya' and she smiled, including her eyes, and managed 'hur'. :)

Oh my god, how scary Rus. Glad things seem to be ok and ss etc are being supportive rather than looking for problems. I can't believe your doctor said that - it's reactions like that that make people worry about admitting they have a problem and need help. Glad it has given you some perspective though and hope things are on the up.

Getting more sleep will help so glad Phoebe is a good sleeper. Fx mine is too! So exciting that she is smiling and interacting already.

Take care and feel free to talk to us anytime if it helps x

Oh my god!!! How very inconsiderate, unprofessional and down right nasty of that Dr some people really shud consider a career change!!

As Lil said glad social services are a lot more understanding and that things are starting to get better!! And yeah for Phoebe sleeping til 6:30

I too had a wobble and a cry at the weekend, DH's cousin, wife and babies were all in Wales (as were we) and I was asked to hold baby whilst the father looked after the toddler; baby just kept crying, no matter what I did. Gave in and passed him to MiL in the end and he stopped instantly! I feel like a complete failure and when alone sobbed on the floor of the bathroom. I know it's not quite the same as what you are going through Rus but blimey I didn't think it could be so hard!

In other news, think I felt podge move over the last few days! Definitely getting sensations that are not cramps or ligament pain!!

Right, just in from London so early to bed for me!!!