Flying mattress graduates - dock here!

[festiemum]

Hey chaps! Here's the space for us to witter on incessantly about our pregnancies!

20 week scan today and it was soooo fantastic! I'll post some pics on my profile later. The sonographer wasn't 100% sure, but thought that it was probably a girl, due to lack of visible meat and two veg!

Hope everyone's doing well! xxx

Chips Yes ours is here. There is a lady at a-n classes who has one and she loves it. I haven't seen that many around town though. The best price we found was off the internet which came with a maxicosi car seat - we looked at it in a shop and then bought it. I think if you like them on FB you get a % more off. Will ask Dh which website it was as can't remember. It did seem the best compared to similar which needed you to buy loads of extras like the sunshades, raincover, carseat attachments etc.

In that case Rus yes, my Dh is also interested in the linea nigra, we just didn't know the proper name for it! Glad things are getting easier for you, you're getting lots of help and Phoebe is happy.

Off to our last ante-natal today and Dh has time off to come too :) can't believe it's the last one, I'm not ready!!

Hope everyone else is doing well x

Chips DH has just come in and says the website was groovebaby

Chips He has now looked it up and it's actually groovystyle.co.uk

Thank you lil I saw their website yesterday and seem very good, definitely want a travel system as I use my car alot.

Which colour did you get? I was thinking of the green but it looks very light and shiney? Might drive up to their showroom or go to John Lewis as they have them x

Hi chips! Good to see you! Hi all!

Sorry to hear about the continuing saga of Phoebe's weight gain, rus. As it happens, I'm not a great fan of formula, but I think it's great that we have it for situations such as yours. Your poor old body has been through so much, so to be able to supplement with a bit of formula while keeping your own supply up is no bad thing.

One of my closest friends ended up mixed feeding both her children. They were both nearly 11lbs at birth and she simply couldn't make enough milk for them. She carried on bf-ing them both as long as they wanted it though.

chips - I got a Jane muum with matrix car seat. The design is lovely - easy to use and unfiddly. The matrix can be a flat lying or rear facing car seat and is therefore usable as a carrycot. The car seat is heavy, but as I always use it in conjunction with the pushchair base, that hasn't been a problem. I'd highly recommend it! I got the purple one - here

disco I too love Mr Thompson and Johnny Reggae!!! Made me guffaw!

Hope your final ante-natal class was good lil - in my experience you never feel ready! You just get on with it!

The wedding weekend was good - bloody exhausting, but Esme got lots of attention and I got lots of praise for making it. Luckily have an easy week. A couple of dr/midwife type things to do, but not much else. Just as well as Esme is having her first growth spurt today and has milked me all day. Feel utterly drained (or should that be 'udderly drained'?! Lol!)

Kinda jealous of your lovely linea nigra count! Dh's eyes lit up when I told him about it. Honestly, I worry about him sometimes!

Hope that sickness is making some sort of arse shifting motion, moo.

Love to all! xx

She put on weight!

Not as much as last time, only 125g this time I think, but she's up to 7lb 13oz now.
Wish I knew how low she'd dropped, but at the same time I'm not sure I want to... ... 7lb 2oz.
Considering she started at 8lb 5oz, that's a bit upsetting.

They're not discharging us yet, since she's still not up to her birth weight. Midwife back on Saturday. BUT because I'm not getting enough sleep, we can go back to feeding her every 5 hours during the night. Hopefully things will get better now we don't have to force her awake for feeds she doesn't want.

DH upset me the other day by saying that all my breast milk was doing was keeping her alive. I cried so much over that, it really stung. Mainly because it's true. I hate the thought that there is one thing I'm supposed to provide for her that no-one else can and I can't do it.
Struggling with the night feeding still, especially when I haven't slept through the day. It's so frustrating to have her refuse to latch on, or only spend minimal time with me before sucking the bottle with such gusto.
But I can't complain because it's the only reason she's putting on weight, the only reason she's more alert during the day, and the only reason we haven't been sent back to the hospital.

I wish I didn't feel so utterly hopeless about the whole thing. In the darkest parts of the night when I just can't get anything to work, I just sit and cry with her bawling in my arms and feel useless. I feel like things would be easier if she wasn't here, or if I wasn't.
I feel better when I've had sleep, and don't get me wrong, I love her to bits, but it's just so hard sometimes.
I wish I could sit down properly, it's affecting everything. I can't sleep, hold or feed her comfortably until it's healed. I'm crying out for a hot bath but can't have more than the few inches to soak my stitches.

Still, the health visitor said I was doing a good job, and that she's still getting all the benefits of being breast-fed, and the formula top ups are just that- top ups. I guess it's like I'm providing the meals, and the formula is just pudding.

Heading to the shower now to irrigate my wound, then soak my stitches, have DH dress & pack the wound, then off to bed for hopefully a few hours kip before the next feed at 11pm.

We're OK here I guess. Wobbly but still going.

Oh Rus :( please dont feel so bad, your dd is putting on weight and that's the main thing! You are not a failure, what your H said was insensitive and he deserves a slap for it.

Breastfeeding is not the be all and end all, being a loving mother is. I think there is far too much pressure on women to be perfect, breastfeeding people, but sometimes things don't work out like we hoped and we do the best we can a

• and you are! You are providing her with everything she needs and that's what matters.

Dont let this upset you so much. These early times are so precious, dont fill them with tears. Sending you love xxx

Rus, she put on weight and the health visitor said you were doing a good job! Not bad for someone who had to labour with an infected hole in her backside!

The top ups are just that, topping up the good stuff which is your milk. It's still early days with breastfeeding, as I understand it it can take a while for most first time mothers and babies to master it. You are also massively sleep deprived which is enough on its own to depress anyone. On a happier note, I love your description of her in her play gym and with her panda, sounds lovely!

Just plod on one day at a time, head down and get through this hard bit. Once your wound heals, and you start making a bit more milk things will look much brighter. This phase won't last for ever.

Count, I bet your linea nigra is beautiful! Has it come early cos of your previous pregnancies do you think?

Hi Chips! I'm thinking of getting the Obaby Zezu pramette. I can't believe the cost of these travel systems! The zezu is a bit more reasonably priced at least. It's all so difficult though. I actually had a really bad nights sleep the other day, having alternating anxiety dreams about choosing the right pushchair and then that I'd forgotten to buy a wedding dress. Not fun.

Festie, the wedding sounds like fun! Hopefully you've managed the odd hour without having Esme attached to your body!

Moo, how are you doing? Hope yr ok.

16 week midwife appointment tomorrow. At least I get out of school a bit early! I wore a particular dress today and my bump looks really pronounced. Some of my pupils did a bit of a double take, but noone said anything. I was teaching 11-13 year olds today tho, maybe the older ones will be a bit more observant!

Aw Rus so sorry to hear you are struggling a bit. I dread the middle of the night times as I'm sure that's when I will fall to pieces. You are doing amazingly well, I can't believe you laboured and gave birth with a hole in your back, had an op on said hole and are dealing with it healing as well as a newborn, you (and your DH) need to give yourself a break. Phoebe is happy and gaining weight, the mw are happy, you are wonderful mum and it will get better. Try to sleep during the day and be gentle with yourself xxx

Disco my junior kids were completely unobservant! Just before the summer I has year 6's who hadn't realised I was pg (and I was def showing well by then) You just thought I'd been eating alot then ...! Any more options on the dress? Hope you appointment goes well today x

Festie glad the wedding went well and Esme is growing. I'm sure she was a star attraction (I won't say the main attraction for fear of upsetting the bride!) Hope everything is ok with doc/mw etc has the BP settled down now you have had her?

Chips we have it in red, I quite liked the green but DH didn't and from the fabric sample we saw it did look a bit shiney - didn't see it in real life though.

Moo how is the sickness? Really hope it is easing for you x

lil I saw the red at John Lewis yesterday and it was lovely. I can imagine the green to be shiney because it's quite light. I think I'll either go for the black or blue. It was lovely to push and seemed to have great storage etc. going to go to the groovystyle showroom next week and get one then

rus - just to reiterate what others have said. Bfing is really hard in the early days. It's really taking its toll on me at the mo and I'm a seasoned mum of 4 with no complications. You're doing amazingly well, keeping it up through pain and surgery. The only thing I can assure you of is that it does get easier.

Bfing, once established, is the loveliest, easiest thing in the world - you'll love it. I keep having to remind myself of that through painful latches, sleepless nights and engorged boobs.

The main thing is, you've come up with absolutely the best solution for Phoebe - a bit of a top up to get that weight gain going, and all the benefits of your breastmilk. Keeping that up through pain, wound packing and stitch soaking makes you a bit of a hero in my eyes. xxx

disco - those pupils of yours will be gossiping like mad! (well, the girls will anyway!)

Saw GP yesterday. My bP still a bit high, so I'm staying on the meds for now and having weekly bP checks with her. Hopefully it'll gradually come down as my body goes back to normal.

Love to all of you xx

How are you today Rus? Feeling a bit better hopefully.

Lil, I suppose they just think I'm getting fat! The year sevens have only just met me really so I'm not surprised by them but I am about the year tens and elevens! How is work now? Stopped trying to lead dancing and PE I hope! As for the wedding dress, I think I'll blitz the shops in Cardiff when I stay with my sister in a week's time, safe in the knowledge that even if I don't find a contender there is one I like, even if it is pricey. I can afford it, I just feel morally queasy spending that much on a dress!

Festie, weekly bp checks with yr own GP - bliss! I'm sure your bp will come down of its own accord. I'm sure the girls won't gossip, they'll just ask straight out, they're quite unabashed where I work!

My midwife appt went well. I got to hear the baby's heartbeat again which was lovely! I don't think Mr Thompson liked the probe being pushed into his/her domain tho, it wriggled about a lot! Everything else normal, even my haemoglobin levels which I thought may be low as they have been in the past.

Hey all you lovely ladies,

Feeling much better today after some decent sleep. Thank you so much for all your support.

Health visitor quite pointedly asked me to read the leaflet on PND while DH was out of the room yesterday, and I have to say it does sound like me- wanted to talk about how I'd been feeling to her, as I've been feeling really low and having some DARK THOUGHTS but DH said if I talked honestly, Phoebe would be taken away...
I know he means well, and is terrified that social services would get involved and we'd never see her again, but I had a talk with him- I've been depressed before and my doctor didn't take me seriously, so no, I don't have diagnosed depression, but it IS an issue. I don't want to be fobbed off again this time as it isn't just me who could be affected if I lose the plot. After talking to him he's been much better, and is a lot more supportive with cuddles etc.
I think he thought tough love would work, but I've had to reiterate that it makes me worse- hopefully things will be better now. The health visitor is coming back in 2 weeks to check on me, and DH will be back at work, so I expect she'll worm it out of me then.
DH thinks that if it wasn't for the cyst pain and problems, and the lack of sleep, I'd be fine, so I have cyst depression rather than PND... and I have to say it makes sense. All the problems I've had are due to the hole. Sitting, sleeping, feeding, bathing... I would quite happily kill for a deep, hot bath I could lay down in!
Hoping that now feeding has changed to 5 hourly at night, things will be easier. I certainly feel lots better tonight. We went to bed early last night, so got a couple of hours kip before the 11pm feed, and then we didn't need to feed her again til about 4-5am... and after that, 10! So plenty of sleep. Now it's just a pain in the arse farting about with sterilising and preparing feeds in the middle of the night, and hopefully that will stop at some point.

In lighter news, while SiL was over this morning for a quick visit, she got to observe a nappy change in which Phoebe demonstrated for the first time her abilities as an epic piss fountain, liberally soaking DH's darth vader dressing gown. LOL. It was like she aimed or something...

Just want my bum to heal. DH packed it a bit too enthusiastically last night, so it's a bit sore, but we've consulted Dr Google and know now to pack it loosely. Oops. Can't believe it goes in a whole centimetre!

OK, time to stop being so self-absorbed and actually comment on what you've all been up to...

Festie I'm sure your BP will go back to normal soon. It took all of 48 hours after having Phoebe for my hair to go back to utter shit and spots to appear!

Lil to be honest, giving birth with the cyst wasn't an issue, I was sat on it and never noticed! Gas & air is AWESOME. Not long til half term, you must be counting down the days...

Chips consider getting your travel system from John Lewis- the way their refund policy works, you can take back anything at any time- so you could have it for years, and if it breaks or something, you could get a refund or new one. But I didn't tell you that! [DH works there] Plus their customer service is awesome.

Disco glad your 16 week appt went well! The further I progressed, the more Phoebe would shift to get away from the whatsit, so the midwife would have to spend entire minutes chasing her around my insides.

Oh, and on the linea nigra front, I don't think DH even noticed I had one... but then I do have milky flesh under my clothes (contrasts nicely with my ruddy complexion) so there wasn't/ isn't really much of a contrast. He was more excited about my stretch marks. Guess I look even more like an alien woman off Star Trek now (tut...)

Off to hang the washing ou- oh fuck, it's gone overcast.

Rus - glad pure feeling better :) I used to work at JL so I know how awesome they are with refunds plus the food was so amazing and cheap, i loved it there! problem is the buggy alone is 600 there whereas I can get the whole travel system for 640 online from a good company, plus they don't do the new model/colour. I'll definitely think about it though as youre right, there refund policy is ridiculously good.

Bought a caboo carrier yesterday from JL after trying it on, can't wait to carry newborn around in it. I was walking around home yesterday with a teddy in it, DP thought it was hilarious as all this sling stuff is new to him.

disco glad appointment went well, I have my next check up 5 oct. I'll be 28 weeks and haven't seen a midwife since 16 weeks

festie glad you're well, hope your bp comes down

X

Hey ladies, just checked in to see how the preggars ladies were getting on and I see we have our first arrivals!

Congratulations festie and rusulka. Phoebe and esme are here!! What beautiful names you chose. Glad they are both doing well.

Thanks disco - I miss you too!!

Rusulka - ill caveat this by saying I am NOT a healthcare person or a ss person but if you are suffering with pnd you need to tell someone. I know 5 friends who have had it to varying degrees, 1 mild, 2 moderate and 2 had to have some time back in hospital. But at no time did anyone talk about taking their babies. Pnd is now recognised as a treatable condition and it will pass but you need to get some help my love. Don't blame yourself, having a new baby is tough at the best of times and whilst I'd do anything to be doing the feeding an the rocking through the night and constant soothing it doesn't make me forget how hard it is waking up every two hours, not being able to walk through the pain n having your boobs leak and soak your sheets through with milk every night.... You're doing a great job, don't be afraid to admit how you're feeling to the docs. They only want to help you.

Good luck to all you Preg ladies (glad scan went well disco) and congrats on esme and phoebe again xx

Rus so glad you got some sleep and are feeling somewhat better. I want to second Berries and say you need to chat to someone. I suffered depression and am worried I will get PND too but the sooner you address it the sooner you can get it sorted. I can understand your Dh's concerns but it is common and there are many, many parents at school who have much more severe issues and ss have not removed their children. It sounds like you are doing an amazing job, Phoebe is growing and happy and your mw has obviously seen this and will no doubt support you. Take each day as it comes and enjoy your gorgeous baby.

Berries lovely to see you and hope all is ok with you.

Disco I know what you mean as I felt it was wrong to spend a fortune on a dress I was only going to wear once but at least you know what suits you and there is at least one you love so don't have to panic. Pleased the MW app went well and Mr Thompson is doing well.

Festie hope the bp sorts itself soon but weekly apps have to be better than what you were doing!

Chips I love the huge basket and it does seem easy to push around - can't wait to use it!

Had the worst nights sleep, bump is getting really painful when I lie on my right side but I can't sleep all night on my left as my hip hurts ... can't just turn over I have to wake up to move and then I had the worst cramp ever in both legs at the same time! Poor Dh is looking shattered and I'm getting fed up - hope this isn't a sign for how the next 7 weeks are going to be!

Sorry to moan, I have been really lucky generally so should be grateful, just need to get through today.

lil - ive suffered with depression on and off since my teens but didn't get a jot of Pnd so don't worry that you'll automatically get it. Good to be aware of the signs though. Good luck for the next few weeks!

Hello ladies; glad to see you all here!!!!

Rusulka I am so pleased that Phoebe has put on weight; absolutely fabulous news. Hope the feeding is getting easier for you and that your bum ailment is starting to get better too. You've been through a hell of a time and you need to remember to make some time for yourself as well. I know easier said than done with a newborn, but even just an hour to do something nice for yourself may help. Don't know too much about PND so can't really offer much advice but I second what the other ladies have been saying!!

Disco glad all went well at your last appointment. When is your next scan?

Lil can't believe you have attended your last a-n class. It will be half term before you know it and you will be looking forward to that due date getting closer. All very exciting :)

Berries lovely to see you my darling. Hope that you are also being kind to yourself and really do hope to see you with some good news very soon!!!

Festie how are things with you? Has the BP come down yet? I do hope so!!!

Chips it's been a while. Glad everything is going well for you. When are you due?

Well thankfully the morning sickness has started to subside. I actually feel human again, am eating normally and all seems to be ok. Had my first scan on Wednesday. It was just sooooooooo amazing to see that little human in there. I actually cried. And it really has sunk in that I AM HAVING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!! Nuchal thing-y-ma-jug was 1.6mm and when I went to have bloods taken to see if i was high or low risk, I asked the nurse what the numbers went and she said that it was a nice number, so fingers crossed that podge is ok!!!

Have got my 16 week appointment with the midwife on 11th October and my 20 week scan on 20th November. Things are moving so quickly. Can't beleive that I am nearly 14 weeks. It's mad. Belly is starting to grow and my work clothes are getting a little uncomfortable.

Sorry I have been a bit AWOL; work is manic plus I had to organise, print off, bind and send all my final assessment documents. Went right to the wire. Have been revising most of the morning and not looking at baby things think I need to have a break soon. Have also managed two loads of washing and defrosted the freezer.

Right, best get back to the books. Hope everyone has a good weekend!!!

Go you!
Glad you're feeling much better. Things feel like they're moving really quickly at that point- enjoy it, because after that it's no man's land with tumbleweed thinking come oooooooooooon, when are things going to happen??!!?! And then it's all waaaaaaaaaaaah I'm not prepared and then before you know it, they're here! Have you started feeling podge wriggle yet?

Lil keep going, it's nearly October!
Have you tried one of those big cushiony whatsits to help you sleep? I've got a v-shaped pillow from Dunelm Mill, it was only a tenner and suited fine- even if it's just to put between your knees for a bit of support. Or you could use it to hold up your bump!

Berries thanks for the advice. Midwife today said to talk to my GP, so hopefully he won't be as much of an arse as that last one. Different county and all that...

Chips I've got a baba sling (haven't tried yet) and a kangawrap- tried it on my mum when she was here and got Phoebe in and settled really well, but when I did it the other day she was a bit fretful and DH said it was because she was in wonky- looked in a mirror and she was at a 45 degree angle!- somehow I'd done it wrong... got it right today though, which made keeping an eye on her while hanging out the washing much easier. Just got to try not to bonk her on the head with the peg basket quite so much next time.

Festie how's Esme doing? Please tell me she snores and has whiffy farts too, I don't want it to just be Phoebe, lol! How's your BP?

Midwife came again today (thinking of buying shares) and weighed Phoebe- she's put on another 120g, so up to 8lb 1oz- only 4oz less than birth weight! And they're happy for us to go back to on demand feeding, whoop... no more fascist feeding regime!
It doesn't particularly benefit our sleeping, though it does mean I can just let her dictate the pace during the day.
Still on formula though. Forgot to ask how long that has to go on for. They were happy to discharge us, but I asked for another visit just to make sure she doesn't lose weight after changing to baby-led feeding, so they'll be back on Thursday.

In other news, the hole in my bum has got bigger (ok, technically it hasn't). Transpires that actually, the nurses hadn't been packing it all the way- must have semi closed up or something- and re-opened when DH got a bit gung-ho with the packing (at my request before you tell him off). So we're supposed to be packing it LIGHTLY. Thanks Dr Google, could have done with knowing that before. So it's bigger than everyone thought it was. ARGH!
Going to take ages to heal because the area is, ahem, moist. Not to mention being aggravated whenever I sit on it. And until it is healed, no baths, no takig Phoebe swimming.... wah.
Yesterday we took her to be registered at the library (refurbed with sexy new services) so Phoebe is an official person now!

Today is DH's first day back at work after paternity leave & tacked on hols, think I've coped quite well, apart from this morning which was a bit Benny Hill... overslept, so she was overdue her feed, except I decided that since it was sunny I might as well get a wash on, so I'm stuffing the machine with a load of baby clothes we've been given by a colleague of FiL's, Phoebe's bawling down the house for second breakfast, then I get in and check her nappy, yep she needs changing, so I do that, and while I'm mid-getting-the-next-nappy, she pees all over herself and both babygrows, so I strip her off, but then she's laying in a puddle of her own wee, so I thought 'there aren't enough wet wipes in the world!' and had to leave her there wriggling in wee while I filled her tummy tub so I could just give her a damn bath (which she was supposed to have on Thursday), then pick up my pissy baby, wipe everything clean, then bath her and wash her hair, get nappy and clothes on, feed... burp... then she upchucks milk all over the muslin (thank god for muslins) which she's decided to only start doing today it seems, and then to add insult to injury, REFUSES TO GO TO SLEEP!!!
But apart from that it's been ok. 2 loads of washing done, trimmed and filed her nails so she can't gouge her eyes out, moisturised her dry bits, expressed 45ml booby juice (left booby gone hard and lumpy from Phoebe's hitting the bottle)... only thing I haven't done is had a nap. Dh finishes in half an hour, so I'd better go nap quick! Either that or lie about it...

Hey moo seems like we're all nearly back together! So cool! I'm 27 weeks now, due Christmas Eve :) all getting very exciting and feeling more real buying big things like cot and buggy etc.

So glad to hear all is well, the first scan is incredible isn't it! I have my next one on 30th oct at 30 ish weeks. Keep us posted x

Rus I guess they take a while to get used to! Must be great to wear one and get on with things (i.e use two hands for mumnetting!)

So glad to hear scan went well moo.... Just skimming the rest but chips you're nearly all back together..... Me missing :(oh well, I figure I'll have twins and that will be the 'reason' for everything I've been through.... !!

I bet you will x

Oh berries - we're definitely keeping a place warm for you here. xx

Just a quick "hi". Me and Esme are doing well. Tired, obviously. She likes to feed all night long; but all doing well.

Stuff been going on that has made me stressed out though. My ex's dad went missing last week. (me and ex are still good friends, on account of being together from the age of 20 and having 3 kids together) apparently, he hadn't been in a very good place mentally recently.

I've known this guy for nearly 20 years - he was my fil for 16 years. He's a great guy - sort of guy everyone loves when they meet him. A fantastic gramps to my kids.

Anyway, long and short is; his body was found at the bottom of some cliffs. He had thrown himself off the cliffs. I don't think anyone realised that he was so ill. My poor ex is in pieces, as you can imagine. God knows what his Mum is going through. He has asked that me and dh don't tell the kids and leave that to him. He needs to decide what to tell them. As I said, they loved their gramps so much. They are going to be very sad.

In the meantime, we are having to be very careful. Especially with inquisitive dd1. Her reading skills are good. She is aware of texts coming in and posts on Facebook. I am hoping that their dad will have them to stay next weekend as he's due to and will tell them then. The fallout will be hard, but at least then it's done.

Sorry, this is a gloomy old post, but this is what has been happening in festieworld this week. Thank God for dh who is always unremittingly supportive and understanding about my ex's need to regularly cry down the phone.

So yeah, um... Big old head mash. ( but Esme is gorgeous!) xxx

oh festie - so sorry to hear that. so traumatic for you all. thinking of you today x

thanks for keeping my place warm... at this rate i'll end up having baby number two just as esme's having her first! hahaha!!!

Festie I'm so sorry to hear about your ex FiL, how awful for you all. Lovely that your DH is so understanding and you can all support each other. Take care xxx

Berries thank you so much for your comment about PND - it is somthing that I've been worrying about and nice to hear it is not a given that I will get it. You're seat is reserved and waiting and we can't wait till you take it up full time xx

Moo so glad the sickness is finally on the way out and the scan went well. Hopefully you can now enjoy being pregnant. How are the exams going? I can't believe you've been doing all this through the MS and tiredness that comes in the first tri.

Rus so glad that Phoebe has put on weight and you can relax a bit but sounds like a good idea to get them back once more to check baby led is all going ok. Sorry to hear your bum hole is bigger but I think your Benny Hill morning is probably going to be repeated several times over in this household!

Have finally started packing baby's hospital bag and have had some better nights sleep so feeling more myself again. Dreading the sleep deprivation when baby comes, I don't deal with lack of sleep well!

So sorry festie how sad :(