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TTC A 2012 BABY - THE GRADUATES PART 3!

999 replies

foolserrand · 03/04/2012 08:57

ROLL UP, ROLL UP! STEP RIGHT THIS WAY!

The one where Trope has her baby, possibly the rest of us too!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
McKayz · 18/04/2012 17:01

I need birth plan help!! I have no idea what to bloody put in it at all! My mind is a blank.

ghosteditor · 18/04/2012 17:31

McKayz, I guess it depends what you want! Do you want to be offered pain relief, or talked out of it? Do you want to be mobile? Will you answer questions or do you want DH to help? Would you agree to episiotomy if there's a risk of tearing? Do you want to be encouraged to change positions before painkillers/intervention are suggested?

Would you agree to a vitamin K injection for the baby? Will you have a managed third stage?0

McKayz · 18/04/2012 17:33

This is what I have got so far. It isn't great.

? I would like to give birth at home in a birth pool.

? My Mum is going to be my birth partner.

? I would like Gas and Air. I will also have a TENS machine in case I do not like the birth pool

? I am also planning on using some hypnobirthing techniques to help with the pain.

? If I do not like the birth pool I want to be moving around as much as possible. I do not want to give birth on my back.

? I would like the baby to be delivered straight into my arms or onto my chest.

? I do not mind having 1 trainee to come along with the midwives but only the 1 please.

? I want to give birth in the pool. I would rather stay in the pool if possible.

? I do not want an episiotomy unless an absolute emergency.

? I do not want the cord to be cut until it has stopped pulsating

? I would like to have a natural 3rd stage in the pool with the option of getting out and having the injection to help the placenta come out if I change my mind.

? I am planning to breastfeed

? I would like the baby to be given Vitamin K

ghosteditor · 18/04/2012 17:37

Sorry, DD pressed send!

Is skin to skin important or do you want the baby cleaned up? If things don't go as planned, do you want to keep as many elements of your plan as possible or do you just want the baby out? Is there anyone you don't want in the room? Are you taking medication? Is there anything you're especially worried about?

These are the questions I asked myself; I sympathise as I felt odd writing my birth plan! You may want to make a couple of plans, especially if you face induction, for example.

I almost didn't take my birth plan as the MW unit did almost everything I wanted as standard. I'm glad I did though as I was moved from the MW unit to hospital delivery (with new MWs) for second stage and was in no fit state to answer questions! Grin

ghosteditor · 18/04/2012 17:39

Xpost! That's great - clear, succinct, gives a good flavour of your plan without being overly detailed! You don't need to cover every eventuality as things can change so fast.

McKayz · 18/04/2012 18:02

I am sure there should be something else in there. But what I don't know Grin

ghosteditor · 18/04/2012 18:11

Would it make you feel better (or worse?!) to have a back up birth plan in the event that you need to go in, or be transferred during labour?

MammaInTheMaking · 18/04/2012 18:54

Hi Bun. If you have any preggo vits going
spare I'd love to have them. I have enough til about 37 week ish and wasn't going to buy another box for the end. Would you like some money for them? I'm on my phone atm but can PM you tomorrow from work.

Your birth plan looks good Mckayz. I'll dig out what I've written and post it on here tomorrow.

Have spent the afternoon asleep on the sofa. Was over in Maidenhead for a meeting this morning and then got home about 2ish. Should really have logged on and worked but ended up snoozing for the rest of the day. Urgh, not enjoying this tiredness 1 bit.

Am hoping to exclusively breast feed however I do want to express and DP to help out. So are you experienced ladies suggesting around 4 weeks is a good time to try this? Wouldn't want to get past the point of no return.....

Fools sorry to hear about your midwife app. That's a bummer. Have you been doing things to get bubs to engage? Maybe it'll only do it when you go into labour...?

DP's home - YAY!!!!!! Grin

TroubleAndFyfe · 18/04/2012 19:00

I'm expressing ghost, I have about 8 feeds in the freezer, going to let DH give him a bottle this evening. FX!

ghosteditor · 18/04/2012 19:24

mamma and trouble, I've ended up reading quite a bit about expressing in an attempt to find something that works for us, but with no luck yet! After four weeks is recommended to avoid nipple/teat confusion but to be fair, DD took to breastfeeding straight away so I doubt she would've had an issue.

I also read that some women produce milk with more of a certain protein* which can cause their milk to break down faster and taste funny after storage, especially freezing, so don't freeze too much! Tried giving DD very fresh milk but it didn't make a difference...

Good luck trouble and I'll report back about the sippy cup when we try it!

*i think!

TroubleAndFyfe · 18/04/2012 22:51

Mmm.. Well that was horrible! I stupidly thought it might be a nice thing for DH...he would not take the bottle and screamed and screamed, I settled him, he tried again, screamed and screamed etc. he drank half the bottle from me, so good he would take the bottle and the frozen milk was fine but refused and screamed with DH who is now really upset as he cannot settle Fyfe at all and now can't feed him either. He only gets to cuddle him for really short periods as can't settle him if he starts to become upset. Sad I feel awful now, upset both my boys Sad

ghosteditor · 18/04/2012 23:02

Awww trouble, I know exactly how you feel and I did that on a weekly basis for a while. We basically gave up trying to feed her a couple of weeks ago and I now only go out for two hours, but poor DD and DH do suffer a bit in that time!

Other things to try apparently are making sure that you are in a different room/outside the house, and trying either the hold you use for bfeeding or a completely different one, the latter to keep the two kinds of feeding separate.

It's bloody awful, isn't it. Sad Keep trying at different times of day though; and remember however bad it gets that all the dads will have plenty of opportunity to help with weaning etc very soon!

ghosteditor · 18/04/2012 23:03

*feed her when I go out, obviously!!! She does get fed the rest of the time, honestly Grin

AnchorBun · 18/04/2012 23:41

Mamma no problemo! No, I don't want anything for them, I'd forgotten I had them until I was sorting out the medicine box today, just happy for them to be of some use Smile

Sorry to hear that Trouble Sad Must be really difficult for your DH. Has he tried doing other things with Fyfe so he can spend quality time with him, like baths, massage, skin to skin? I agree with Ghost (as usual Wink) that he might get more success with you out of the room/house - if Fyfe knows the real deal is nearby he'll be less likely to want a bottle Smile
I do hope your DH doesn't take it to heart too much (hard not to, I know), I heard someone say that the first 3 months of a baby's life should be treated like a 'fourth trimester' development-wise and that it's only because of the size of babies' heads that they're born at 9 months gestation. So it makes sense that Fyfe is so attached to you at the moment, developmentally, that's where they should be iyswim.

TroubleAndFyfe · 19/04/2012 04:15

Thanks guys. He's been missing out a bit as has had so much work to do on the house that he's usually too tired once finished for things like baths. He had been fine until a couple of days ago when he started making comments about Fyfe only wanting me etc. (just passing comments, not whining) and he does understand that Fyfe will need him soon but it is still hard for him at times. He'll be fine though! PIL are coming tomorrow then there are no more deadlines for a while so we can relax and spend time together for a while! Grin

TroubleAndFyfe · 19/04/2012 07:38

ghost does your DD take a bottle from you?

foolserrand · 19/04/2012 08:25

Trouble, hard as it is, please don't fret too much. Ds was exactly the same in the early days. Dh could hold him, provided he was fed and content, but couldn't feed him or comfort him. I was meeting all of his needs, I fed him, I kept him close, warm.... I was a one stop restaurant, bed and security blanket. That's a distant, bleak memory now. To watch ds run at the front door, knocking the dogs out of the way, squealing with excitement that his daddy's home. I still am the go to for hurts, and sleepy cuddles, but dh is an accepted second. I can't even remember when it all changed now. I think weaning helped, but it could have been earlier. Dh was always better at winding than I was so he used to do most of that.

That may not be as comforting as it was intended to be. That was only your first try, please try not to be too disheartened. Fyfe is unfamiliar with a bottle, it will take time. You can't be like me and just not go out while he's still breastfed. Try a feed when he's not tired, hungry and everything else in his world is perfect, then you offer it. Keep as many variables as constant as possible and be patient, positive.... wow, I sound like some shitty airy fairy idiot. I know you and Fyfe can manage this if you want to.

So, I had some period type pains while cooking dinner last night, the bump felt heavy and I was pretty sure keeping active could result in a 6th baby. So I sat down and stayed still! We aren't ready yet and if I can give myself a bit more time, I'm going to take it! So I'm shipping ds off to my mother's today, gives me a whole day to clean, tidy and get ready. Lost a big bit of plug this morning (surely there can't be much more, its been coming out for weeks). I get the hopeful naive feeling that I may put myself into labour with today's efforts. Hey, I can but try! Dh has already refused to go in here to update you all though when the time does come I'm afraid. Right, best get ds fed and dressed or I'll never get rid of him!

OP posts:
TroubleAndFyfe · 19/04/2012 08:49

Oh FX fools!
I was sad because he didn't like it and DH was upset, not because he wouldn't take the bottle, I'm actually not bothered if I can't go out without him but was expecting him to be okay with it for some reason and of course it would be nice if i could occasionally have a break. Anyway, he'll take it from me so thinking he may be able to get used to it?at least I'm not worried about him preferring it anymore! Grin that was my main concern!

foolserrand · 19/04/2012 09:00

Does Fyfe have anything that really soothed him? Ds obsessed about Marilyn Manson and you could get him to do almost anything if you played Personal Jesus! I'm sure Fyfe will get the hang of it, if he'll take it from you, you'll be fine. Ds took precisely 1 bottle for the 16 months I fed him. It can't be worse than that!

OP posts:
ghosteditor · 19/04/2012 09:10

She did take a bottle from me once, but only once! Now she won't even close her mouth around the bottle. fools' advice is good advice though. Can your DH do nappies as his job? Grin

elliebug · 19/04/2012 09:11

It's been really interesting reading about your breast/bottle issues!! I'm getting a bit annoyed as none of the midwives seem to know anything about getting Jacob to transition from tube to breast, I'm getting loads of milk (OH is taking some home to freeze it) but he just doesn't seem interested, I don't really have a clue what to do either, he sucks on a dummy so I know he can suck, I don't really see how getting him to feed is different to getting a new baby to feed, yeah he needs a set amount but that's why the tube is there Angry am wondering if I should just express and bottle feed? Agh! Sorry for rant and ignoring everyone elseBlush

elliebug · 19/04/2012 09:18

I know he was prem but he's 36 weeks tomorrow so not prem enough for him not to be able to suck!!

McKayz · 19/04/2012 09:27

Ellie Can you do kangaroo care with him? I don't know if you are already but my friends DD was born at 32 weeks and they did kangaroo care loads and she was BF by 36 weeks as well as expressing.

I have been thinking about expressing so DH can maybe feed baby when he is at home and so we could maybe have a meal out occasionally. What pumps do you all have?

AnchorBun · 19/04/2012 09:31

Ellie have you tried reclining back so you're nice and comfortable and doing skin to skin? Read somewhere that it's great for getting babies to latch on. Will try and find it...

ghosteditor · 19/04/2012 09:34

Oh good luck ellie - like you say,he's not so teeny he can't feed!

I have the Medela Swing - expensive but excellent - it just works...