The 30-something preggos have stopped drinking & smoking but are still foul-mouthed. Come and join us!

[Fishandjam]

A grads thread for the 30-something TTCers. All stages of gestation welcome. Come on in, pull up a birthing ball and have a Becks Blue.

ooo issimma that is the answer! I was obviously in non-sneeze maternity. I am quite confident hat sneeze births were happening in their dozens in the next ward.

Have already been asked by a cheeky fucker stranger when it's due so doubt it'll be a surprise announcement.

Also, who asks that? What goes through their tiny minds? Honestly, I would punch their faces in.

Oh, I was that woman in triage last time. There were women considerably less pg than me, and I kept apologizing between contractions."Aargh, fuck, ow, Jesus Christ, ow, shit shit shit...sorry, sorry".

Doing much better now, think I'm just knackered. Thanks all x

jars my lovely. Sorry not to say hey sooner have been lying low in haze of pre-12 week jinx fear. Now on phone so just a quickie but you know what you need? Kung po chicken is what you need. And possibly a hug.

Fuck sorry jars my love not checked mumsnet since lunch, glad you're feeling better - cramps not a fun way to spend the afternoon - have they gone completely or still there?

They went away in the bath but are back again now. So they are painful but not dangerous. And as if that wasn't enough...

Far, far too much TMI alert: to ice today's shitcake, I now have a varicose vein Down There. I think. What the fuck? One minute, normal fanjo. Next minute, Hammer Horror special effects bits. Kill me.

I'm going to bed for the next 6 weeks and I'm not coming out unless Alan Rickman personally begs me to.

I had szechuan chicken the other night. It was fabulous, but I don't think Bumpy liked it much.

Oh dear that's both you and fish on the shite bench today.

I'm on the can't stop farting horrendously bench with occasional moving over to the needs a new spine bench.

Glad the bath helped, see how they are in the morning and maybe call the MW if you're still worried?

I'll have a word with Adam and send him round to see you, would that help?

Adam? I meant Alan obviously - I'm such a twunt!

Hi jars, sorry to hear about your crapola. Hope the contractions have dwindled now. Re the varicose vein, you didn't do something stupid like get a mirror and have a dekko, did you? Nononono! Never do that when pregnant, and especially not shortly after the birth.

A poser for you ladies. Why would my GP have left me a message to eat more protein? (I had a baffling pair of phone calls from the surgery reception yesterday; one to say that the lab had phoned to say my blood tests needed redoing - I said I bet they'd dropped the samples on the floor or something equally dimwitted - and the other to pass on this message about eating more protein. How would he know, if not for a bloods result? I'm genuinely .)

Wino, ROFL at farting. I feel your pain/embarrassment. Who's Alan?

jars how are the cramps? gone away I hope?

fish you have a weird gp hope you're feeling a bit better today too.

My farts could stop aircraft, they are repulsive. I blame DH personally, on the premise his bum is pretty explosive and it's his son so that must be the reason :)

Alan Rickman played professor snape who jars has a slightly weird crush on...

hope everyone else is doing ok today

Alan is not a weird crush: seriously, that voice... Go on advanced search, or start a thread with the words Alan Rickman in and I guarantee it'll be like one of those silent dog whistles for women who go all funny a the mention of the Sherrif of Nottingham. .

Feeling lots better: cramps gone and DH helped me to write a to do list of all the jobs that need doing, at work and not, for the next four weeks. I feel much less stressed and can see more light at the end of the tunnel. I think the BH were stress related but couldn't get out of a nasty downer last night. Thanks so much for all the support last night.

Fish, your GP is a freak. I have only just now got my blood results back from 13 weeks, but even so they didn't leave me a message saying "change yer butcher". Very odd. How are you feeling today?

Re farting, there is a guide dog at work this week. Thank fuck, a scapegoat.

I'm sure my mum had a thing for Alan Rickman in Robin hood. If we watched that film once we watched it a thousand times.

Girl walked past me at school yesterday. She was idly picking at a bag of salt and vinegar crisps. I was so keen to have that bag I would have licked her fingers clean. today I heard a child say "skittles make me hyper" so I thought to myself "I need me some of those". Bought a bag o sour ones from the 'healthy' vending machine and they did the job . . . Well, I managed the drive home without nodding off to props to me.

Alan Rickman is not a weird crush. Spesh not in his Sheriff of Nottingham persona.

Feeling utterly shite again. Don't know how I'm going to get through the next 10 weeks; crying just thinking about it. Exhausted, nauseous. Mentalling that my liver is going TU again and we don't know because the lab fucked up the blood tests. Will ring midwife tomorrow but I bet nobody checks the messages over the weekend!

Hi all, Fish how crap that you are feeling awful again- did they say what the cryptic protein message was all about. Was it due to low iron levels or something.
Just had a thought- " Sherriff of Twottingham" , made me giggle anyway.
Wino I would ask you to move over and let me sit down on the needs a new spine bench but obviously you can't move without grinding vertebrae on such a hard and unforgiving surface. Actually we prob shouldn't be on a bench at all in this condition! Oh and I have a spot on the fart bench also- well I would but my last one actually burnt through the wood to leave a scorched hole where the seat should be!
Sorry gone a bit surreal today.
Fish will they re-do your tests?
Glad your cramps have gone jars. Anyone else getting really strong tightening feelings ( braxtons?) after every meal?
Twitch now weighs 3 pounds apparently ( from growth scan).
Never been very keen on Alan Rickman but it's different strokes for different folks. I prefer more of your thug-type man(aesthetically ). You know a semi ape-like specimen that resembles an orang-utan that has been put into a suit and strategically shaved. examples- Vin Diesel, Eric Bana, Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale in Batman Begins.
sorry for massive post.

Hi all....

jars fish how you guys doing, I wouldn't normally do this but I will share my double chocolate cookies with you. The rest of you.......not a chance!
maizie I cant work out if I am getting BH or if Gary is just getting stronger?

So things to ponder on today

1. I am getting lots of emails from restaurants offering bubbles if I dine with them on my birthday.....do u think I ask them to defer 'til xmas?
2. Changing bags....I have ordered a bright spotty one from Desk, OH said "and I am not supposed to feel girly carrying that" personally I think its not girly (I could have ordered a yummy mummy one, now they are girly!) how much consideration have you made when thinking about them carrying it?
3. Are any of you doing NCT classes? The government ones we have been offered are during the day!!! They last 3 hours, I will be at work and so will OH so thinking they are not practical. But NCT are £160!

Rant over, thoughts welcome!

issimma very exciting now its official!

wino got little "pops" at about 15 weeks and full on kicks at about 20, now Gary never stops! I even videoed yesterday! As for trumps......jeez they are rancid!

jars throw the mirror away!! You nutter!

crisps mmmmmm skittles!

I have this week off....lusharoonie! Massage tomorrow............

Hope everyone has has a great weekend

Frog xx

Hi all, will catch up in a bit, just having a "nap" with the iPad.

It's my 6th wedding anniversary today, so to celebrate DH and I have dragged DS round Sainsbo's, had my Dad over for a visit, been to the park in the rain and are probably going to have beans on toast for dinner. Wild side: we owns it.

Back soon!

Happy anniversary jars xx

Happy Anniversary jars .
Me and DH have been married 12 years- we met when I was 17. just saying his am how we wished we had started having kids earlier.
Watchout frog I may have to wrestle that last choc cookie out of your hands- in a super sugar hole at the mo.
jars have you tried balsamic vinegar on beans on toast- just a splash. yum!
frog work have to give you paid time off to go to the ante natal classes don't they? I am impressed you could catch Gary on film as twitch has perfected the art of going still every time I say "look, look". The ones that feel like a shockwave- are they hiccupping?

Dudes, I just got slightly involved a fight on AIBU, there were deleted posts and Olivia Mumsnet turned up to tell people off and everything!

Got my blood pressure up to at least 100/60 there.

Oh blimey! I need to stay away from that section. I get on it and find myself stuck there for hours occassionally snorting in indignation.

Happy belated anniversary jars!

maizie, how old are you? I bet I have the drop on you when it comes to leaving it late to sprog - married DH at age 22, finally got round to breeding at age 36. And now again at a gnat's off 39. I sometimes wish we'd done it earlier but there were all sorts of reasons why we didn't, so there we go.

I can stop mentalling about my health (and let's face it, that kind of navel gazing is never attractive) - went to have my bloods redone this morning, and it turns out it was only one blood test, the tissue typing one, which got mucked up. The others have all come back fine - liver whatsits still nice and low, heemygoblins all decent, etc. The protein thing got explained as well - the levels of whateveritis (blood albumin?) should be over 40 and mine are 22, so I have been told to Eat More Steak. No problemo!

jars, AIBU is a spectator sport only. Thought you'd have known that by now! We can always have our own personal AIBU on here. Mine would be, after yesterday's trip to a garden centre cafe, "AIBU to really really fucking hate those Bebe Au Lait breastfeeding pinnies? These. It draws way more attention to what you're doing than getting your baps out under a cardy ever would."

hello hello!

fish glad you're feeling better and very pleased re the increased steak situation. Now, we just need to get the gp to recommend a glass of red a day too and we're all set :) I hear you re the bebe au lait? oh also, what's with the brand name 'hot milk' for nursing bras

jars happy anni for the other day, sounds like you celebrated in style - beans on toast are the nuts!

Ohhhh what thread? what happended? I always miss the juicy ones! I love AIBU but am often too scared to post (usually because what I want to post is 'what the FUCK has it got to do with you love?')

maizie I'll gladly shift my arse over on either bench so you can take a well deserved pew ma dear - although I fear we may kill each other with fart stench, maybe we should have some gas masks just in case.

frog Yes to the nct classes, we have bitten the bullet and signed up, I don't know any mummy friends where we are aside from my SIl so would like to try and make some new friends to drink wine with go for coffee with.

However, they were the royal sum of £260 where we are so am hoping they're worth it!!!

I salivated over spied a Mulberry purse whilst out at lunch today that was £280 and I did wonder whether I could swap :)

*oh, side note - Also at lunch a woman came out of Tiffanys and gave her toddler the little blue bag to carry, I sooooo nearly swiped it and I spotted at least 5 other women having the same thought process :)

Oh on the changing bag note, I completely sold out and bought a pacapod - it looks nice and, well, it looks nice and is a bag!?

right, well, I think it's about time for some

fried, we did NCT and really enjoyed the classes, even though my dreams of a home birth with not much more than lavender oil to ease my pain did end up going totally down the cludgie (not that it mattered a bollock ). Plus I'm still in regular touch with all but one of the other mums (and indeed dads) we met on the course - the one I'm not really in touch with went back to work full-time and tends to keep herself to herself, though we see her and her DH/DD occasionally when there's a class reunion.

Re changing bags, I wasn't that bothered by a girly one so, at DH's option, we bought a Baba Bing one which looks a bit like a cycle courier's bag (like this one 'ere) - they've updated the design since we got ours, and I confess I did like all the little pockets/slots/insulatedy bits for bottles etc. Khaki and black, ours is.

wino, sadly red wine gives me the total boak at present - and usually I much prefer it to white. I remember this from last time though - took around, ooh, 24 hours for my taste for it to return. I'm still sticking to my plan for Highland Park on the post-natal ward though!

Hi Everyone

Maizie I know they have to give me paid leave, but with so little time left in the office I feel like I am taking the piss and also I really want to get everything finished properly for handover (I know that probably sounds mental!)

I think I am gonna go for it.....if they are shit though I will not be happy!!

jars what is AIBU? It sounds like fun!!!

Mmmm red wine......roll on Christmas !

Frog xx

Hey guys,
Fish I am 34 now, first baby was born when 31 but I was married at twenty so really should have got started earlier ( was having a career, can you believe it) actually DH got clucky before me so I have him to thank for getting our arse (fanjo) in gear! Just as well as it took 2 yrs and we were on an IVF list waiting to get started as I have PCOS when I got preggo so Seb is kind of our miracle baby.

On the iron front don't forget to eat more herbs in things as well- a very concentrated way of taking in iron.

Made a homemade creamy chicken and mushroom puff pastry pie with mash yesterday- yum.
Just been to first ante natal class ( free one) and it was truly yawn - so maybe that money is well invested.
TBH just brushing up on details re breastfeeding and active labour as I didn't get all the way through last time.

Wino you can stretch out for a day or two as I have transferred to the "OMG I need to wee AGAIN !" bench but I am sure I'll be back soon.
Back is always a little better the day after I do aqua aerobics.
DH is back to liking Holly but I am still not sure even though it was our name for if number 1 had been a girl.
Other ones we like are Roxanne ( but our surname has a x in which means it doesn't work- but i disagree), Zoe, Isabelle, Eryn, Robyn Cassie, Calisto, Lilly, Leia, thoughts....
sorry for mammoth post

No I understand Frog I am a terrible control freak at work usually but because of pg and spd am currently working in a different kitchen and not in charge so not in that head space.
ditto about xmas and the wine!