We will have a serene, pain free, uneventful pregnancy and birth and will BROOK NO ARGUMENT on that.

[scarletfingernail]

New thread.

Found you all again!

i'm now 7+1. my DS was born by EMCS. I've been getting discomfort/pains over the last few days, feels like it's coming from the CS scar. It doesn't feel like stretching pains, this is different. Has anyone else experienced this in a pregnancy after a CS? Starting to get a bit worried in general, as not had any stretching pains for about a week, and those were my only real symptoms. (still breastfeeding DS so boobs not as easy to spot if bigger/tender as they are still bigger than they were pre-DS pregnancy and didn't get MS with DS) Can't shake a feeling that something doesn't feel right about this pregnancy, trying not to let it get me down, but can't help worrying. Had sharp pains low down last week, my GP said it is possible the pains were caused by cystitis and prescribed anti biotics but what if he is wrong? How easy is it to get an early scan at an EPU to make sure it hasn't implanted on my scar and to check its still alive?

right, off to try and catch up on this thread, didn't notice we'd got a new one, and already there are 3 pages to read!

musical my DH hasn't really felt anything yet mainly due to the fact that whenever he talks close to me the baby stops!
I had a better night last night, tummy still feels not quite right but not painful. I have been trying to sit quietly ATM to try and feel baby movements as I haven't really felt any today.

Happy to report a successful weigh in - f gained 250g in 5 days. Such a relief to have something go right. Ds1 being a little better today. Tbh I think of correlates to when I can give him enough attention au hope as f gets a bit more settled i'll get the balance a bit better.

True to firm we had an awful nights sleep last night. Dh is downgraded to h for being generally annoying at 3am and then saying he is tired. I appreciate that he was up with f for nearly 2 hours in the night but that doesn't quite equal the 4 hours I spent bf ing in the night. Rather short in sympathy.

dream c'mon, you know you're not Getting It Wrong. There is no Right Way, anyway! What time does your dd have lunch? If she had an early (11.30 / midday-ish) lunch then went straight for her nap after, you might be able to get her up by 2.30. I know that's only 1/2 hour, but might it make her a bit more tired? And try not to worry about twin2. Surely they must overlap in there, so what feels like one might be the other anyway?

loopy epu policies vary in different areas, but here you've got to get a referral from your gp. Definitely speak to someone if you're worried though. x

Well done Farley for the weight gain. And I don't blame you for being annoyed at MrHawthers for saying he's tired!

Well I've got my private scan tomorrow at 5.30. Brooking hard for the right outcome.

Worry over about movements, being kicked a goodun here now. I also ate a proper meal and my tummy is feeling ok!
I met a lady today( new parent at work) who is expecting a boy on the same day as me and is booked in with the same team of midwives. Snap, snap and snap!
Off to have an early bath before we all sit down to watch Sherlock.

Btw just found out that basic smp will be going up to £135 per week in April! We will live like kings!:)

wants Good to hear lil'wants is letting you know he's in there! And good tummy news too

Too, maybe that's my problem - an uncooperative LO who doesn't kick on demand! Hope your appointment went well.

scarlet, I think today the feeling faint may have been partly my own fault - jogged for the train, forgot my water, and then was sitting on the carriage floor and probably stood up too quickly. If it happens again though I'll definitely get it checked though.

Jen, that's frustrating :( I find some delivery companies are particularly useless nowadays. We got our pram last week, and have deliberately packed it away upstairs so we can't play with it! Same with the car seat - and we'll do the same with the cot and other bits too! I'm going to allow myself to play with them all during half term, and in the couple of weeks leading up to maternity leave (when I'll have no planning to do!).

Little, so glad you got an appointment through so quickly. Brooking that it goes wonderfully, and that you're reassured.

fishcake, I may try that next time I feel totally rubbish :P I'm finding looking like a complete idiot helps - I find swaying and moving around makes me feel better on the train, and it helped get me a seat this evening (albeit not when I got on the train, but still!). Every little bit of madness helps.. I'm also getting a lot of cervix stomping - right at this second, in fact - wish it would move around a little bit and kick somewhere a tad more comfortable. How goes things with the mega move?

Dream, it may be partly due to DH's lack of patience too - and short attention span - he normally tries to do something else at the same time. LO only seems to kick low and to the front early in the morning, when DH is still asleep... which is his own fault as far as I'm concerned! I'd also be slightly annoyed about the scratching being sort-able - only because I'd feel the same as you!

Hawthers, congratulations to Farley and yourself on the weight gain!

Reaaallly can't be bothered to do any work tonight- but if I can get planning done for the next couple of days it'll make my life a lot easier. Counting down the hours 'til bedtime..

Good luck for your scan tomorrow Little.

Just a quick one - I've just got back from pg yoga, and a thought occurred to me whilst there (totally unrelated to yoga). If you're planning / hoping to use a pool in labour do you need to to take like something to wear? Obv a swimming costume ain't really designed for the purpose is it?!?

Also - has anyone done / thought about perineal massage ?

Sorry not to name check everyone but my dinner is here and I'm starving!

Hope everyone is ok and well done to wee Farley for such good weight gain (although I can't convert grams to oz )

Catch you all later Preggos xx

Biscuits - as far as birthing pools in labour go, I think anything goes with regards to outfit! From what I've read/heard, people often go for vest tops, bikini tops or sometimes just bras in the pool - if they choose to wear anything. Often they whip them off near the end for skin to skin. My plan is to wear a bikini top if I can still fit in to one!

I've been thinking about perineal massage too, but need to know a bit more about it before I embark on it I think! Ultimately I'm up for anything that might help prepare my body and help prevent tears somewhat..

You could be like the girl on OBEM last week and design your own birth-pool outfit! It was basically a bikini top and a little loose miniskirt to cover the crotch/bum area.

Thank you all for the messages of support. The meeting went ok in the sense that I didn't break down in the middle of it . Basically, it came down to them saying the MW says she did listen to the hb and us saying well, she didn't. There were only 3 ppl in that room - me, DH and MW, and we are both positive that she didn't. The hospital have decided to believe her because 'women in labour will be distracted and in pain and so might not notice the MW pressing a sonic aid against their tummy', or hear it beating away, presumably. The fact that I was giving birth for the first time (and so paying a lot of attention!) and that the MW by her own admission didn't write my notes up for an hour and a half, during which time she saw 2 other women, was discounted. I said that DH wasn't in labour, but the upshot is that it's up to us to complain to the midwifery governing body if we want to take it any further - as far as the hospital is concerned, it's case closed. Not really sure what we want to do - DH is quite keen to take it further, and I'm worried about the amount of stress and hassle it will be.

Whoever asked, no, I'm not going back there for Bean's birth! The community MW, who has been great through all of this, advised us off the record to go to the second-nearest hospital instead because they have a much better reputation for maternity care. So far they've been a heck of a lot better.

Knackered now, will read back properly and post tomorrow. Have SPD class tomorrow night - hope they can help.

Too I was thinking about you in your meeting earlier. What a shame that they don't seem to be taking what you say seriously . I do see what you mean though about the additional stress etc of taking it further. Plus, as you say, it's only ever going to be your and DH's word agains the mw so you can never actually prove that she didn't do it.

What would the process be to take it further? And what would the potential outcome be?

Perhaps give it a few days and see how you both feel about it?

Hope you can both have a restful evening though this evening as I'm sure it's been an incredibly stressful and tiring day.

Oh, and am I odd for not even owning a bikini top? There was a brief 2 week period in 2005 when I think I could have carried off a bikini......

Hello all,

Good tummy news, and on the kicking front wants

little, pleased your scan is so soon, it will give you the right answer. Yes, will try the early as possible lunch and earlier nap. She went to sleep by herself at about 8:45pm tonight. Getting better?!

Fantastic weight gain farley! Well done you hawthers. I'm so cranky these days Dh is almost permanently 'h'...

Today I bought a baby jogger city mini double by spotting a couple plus two kids plus single buggy, in our village, In the dark, and i thought it might have been the same family I'd seen with this double a few months ago. Imagine a heavily pg lady, 16 month old in arms, running after you shouting 'erm, excuse me? EXCUSE ME?! Do you have a purple double buggy?!'... Well they did, and she said I could have it for £150 and I couldn't resist. A small tear and a bit grubby, but a 2011 one I think. I'm pleased!

Can't remember rest, on phone, so sorry if I've missed people.

Loving the thinking on the double buggy - that's awesome Dream . What does DH think?

Hope dd is dropping off to sleep easier again tonight

Apologies in advance for the lack of name checking but I'm super tired after a day of trying to find positions in which I can use a laptop with any sort of efficiency for work purposes. On a more pleasant note I also left the house for the first time in a week! Just to my parents' house, so I could stretch out on their sofa and chat to someone other than DH! My back is aching now and the SPD is really kicking in with a vengeance, but I feel so much more sane for having actually got out for an hour or so.

Too I am very at the hospital for treating you so shoddily. Problems like this are never isolated and I'm sure they've had similar complaints in the past and they think that burying their head in their hands and singing lalala at you will make the problem go away. A big part of me is totally behind your DH and really wants to force them to acknowledge the terrible part they played in such a traumatic event for you and your family. On the other hand this must be so difficult for you already that I see it would be a really emotional and draining battle for you to fight, and I just want whatever will make you feel best. Such a dilemma! I will be no brooking that you reach whichever resolution is best for you.

Dream I am awed at your powers of buggy-spotting and fellow City Jogger lover recognition! At this stage baby brain has completely taken me over and I barely remember my own name, so that fact that you remembered a random family in the street has me blown away!!! Clearly that buggy and you were meant to be together!

Apologies to everyone else for not following up on direct messages. It's my bedtime.... zzzzzz.....

Tired here, just want to say hope scan goes well tomorrow little.
I am so pleased you got your double Dream!! I found earlier naps with my DD meant she would go to bed earlier. Do not beat yourself up though, I forbid it!

Too Sorry it was crap! Is it something you could get solicitors involved in? :(
Oh and I am a strong advocate of perineal massage! I tried it and it was soo painful, so my logic was I needed to persist with at as a babies head was coming out of there which would hurt a lot more! So persist I did and I had a noticeable decrease in discomfort throughout, and I didn't tear at all!

Purple - did you use any massage oil or anything? The mw gave me a leaflet on it and I thoroughly don't really get what I'm supposed to do, but it said about using massage oil. I don't even know where I would get any from? Apparently it has to be unscented or something?

I have to say the idea of it just makes me feel a bit (that's sick, not envy). Not sure why I feel so weird about it but I do . I'm not even entirely sure what my perineum is . I don't want to tear again but, gah, I'm not sure I can do it. Which just sounds ridiculous. I'm not sure at all why I have such a hang up about it.

Also Purple when did you start it from? The leaflet from my mw says to start from 30 weeks but I've just been googling and everything else says 34/35 weeks.

And how often - my leaflet says either once a day for 5 mins or twice a day for 2-3 days. Everything in google says 5 mins a few times a week?

Apparently just olive oil or similar is ok?

Ok TMI alert!
I just used lube lol easy, off the shelf, water based...
I did it for a few minutes every other day. I am going to ask for another leaflet actually! It wasn't something I could do either, DH had to! Gave me someone to swear at.
It is not the most pleasant of things but I think it saved my lady parts from an even greater battering! I also just assumed I would tear as things can be a bit tight down there.
Would it be easier for you if Dh did it? No way I could have reached, and it didn't have as much of an ick factor once it had been done a couple of times and he probably knows my beneaths better than I.

Perineum is the bit between your vagina and Anus, most of the stretchy massage bit, is done from inside the vagina. I was thinking of doing it from 34 weeks ish.

I hope no one was eating their breakfast whilst reading this! lol

Thanks Purple

Well I think I will give it a go, at some point when I pluck up the courage. To be honest I think DH is too busy at work - If I rely on him to do it there will be too many occasions when he's home after I'm in bed etc so I think if I'm going to get the benefit of doing it regularly I'm going to have to brave it myself.....

Interestingly one of the things I read said you could try it in the bath? Although I don't often have baths, and I don't get much chance with DS all the time.

Ah Biscuits I'm glad you asked the perineum question. I didn't do it last time, purely because I have no idea where and what to do. I know it's something to do with the bit between bum and fanjo, but I have no idea specifically where and it is you're supposed to do. (I realise it's a weird thing to explain in detail on here). Biscuits the thought also makes me feel boaky. I suppose I'm a bit of a prude. Like how I'm always when people say on the conception threads that they've had a firk around and their cervix is high or low. Bleugh I would not even know the difference if I did find my cervix. If this perenial massage is easy enough to do though and doesn't take ages I'm willing to give it a go if there's a chance it'll make the birth even slightly easier.

Too I hope you and DH manage to come to an agreement over the next few days. Such a tough thing to decide, I have no idea what I'd do either. On the one hand it's such a hard thing to let go, it's natural to want someone to be held accountable especially if you were let down by the midwife. On the other, it's bound to be more stressful at a time when you're going to be stressed enough already what with giving birth again at a similar time of year and only a year on. Have you discussed it with your close family?

dream how jammy are you? Wow I'm so impressed by your buggy spotting skills. That's was fate saying HAD to have it.

scream pleased to hear you managed to get out of the house, but that the SPD is getting worse.

I'm venturing out today. I was hoping to get away with not buying any more maternity clothes but I really haven't got enough so will buy a couple of cheap bits. I might brave the chaos of H&M. I'm also going to start buying a few bits for the baby, I need to start making this a bit more real now. As we still haven't even got a nursery it's like it's not happening still.

Cross posts with Purple and Biscuits re perineal massage. Thanks Purple for the description.

right, there's lots I can't remember but too I think I'm with your dh on wanting to take it further although as has been pointed out already I totally understand about the stress involved with everything else going on. Good luck with whatever you decide.
little brooking no arguement for a good scan for you today, let us know how you get on, hope the spotting has stopped.
dream great news on the buggy front.

Well again I've had no movement like feelings for a couple of days, I just hope it means the baby has turned itself around to face my back or something. Things are never straightforward are they? Even with a straight forward no problem no symptom no sickness pregnancy! Still there is nothing I can do so I shall put it to the back of my mind. I think a day of baking, taking ds to the library for new books (plus I've been recommended 3 good books on managing pain in childbirth so will see if they've got those) and a bit of shopping and tidying for us. Have been speaking to my HR manager and it looks like with holidays and stuff included I'll be finishing work mid may (yay! I only got 2 weeks last time, this time its more like 6 or 7!) to go back just after Easter next year. Its all seeming to looming closer and closer. I'm only 17 weeks this week!

Scarlet that is exactly how I feel about perineums and other associated cervical rooting - and I'm pretty sure I'm a prude about it .

I will try this massage thing though when I get a chance. It says it's easiest if you do it after a bath as everything is nice and soft, but I never seem to have time for a bath. By the time I've got DS in bed and cooked tea for DH and me too I generally slob out in front of the tv - don't think I could be bothered with a bath

And by the time I've showered in the morning DS is normally mooching about - I'm not sure this is something he should have to witness (and maybe endure much therapy for in his future).

Still I'll work it out I'm sure