DECEMBER 2011 the final countdown (in honour of OI)

[kri5ty]

Sorry for the new thread and crap name but i needed to start one oi how are you doing good luck xxx

I have fallen off the face of MN for a week or so and have loadsss to catch up on! I have been busy doing coursework and seriously nesting!!

PGP is awful, to the point of making me cry, finally got a pyshio app, but not for another 2 weeks :( doesnt seem much point. OH continues not to even attempt a massage if i ask and rolls his eyes.

Been having really bad shooting pains that take my breath away, but seems as though baby is head down (and very low) im guessing its a nerve he is on.

Very strange and TMI... but earlier (when i went to the toilet) i could feel what felt like the head bulging on the outside, through my lady garden lol... freaked me out!!

Good luck oi !! Fingers crossed

tye glad you took the sick advice!!

My beanbag arrived, and the raspberry leaf tea tablets! (I tried a cup, seriously nearly lost my breakfast so tablets it will have to be)

Well just invited my mum to the 37 week midwife checkup and she ignored it - responded to other points in my email but not that one. Sigh... I know there is nothing I can do to change her behaviour. It doesn't stop me wishing she could/would just be the mother I wish I had instead of who she is though. I may need to have my dad on Skype when I tell her just to make sure there is a moderating influence. My FIL, who is a therapist and can't help giving you therapy over the dinner table, teased out something very interesting this weekend which is that she seems afraid of encouraging any domesticity, which is why after 5 years of living with DH and nearly two years of marriage, she won't visit our home, won't eat dinner with us (insists on restaurants), was so funny about us getting married, and won't talk about anything baby related. It's possible she sees domesticity and motherhood as a trap to be avoided - hence her telling me to get an MBA because then I wouldn't "be a housewife" while on maternity leave. Anyway enough about her, she takes up too much precious headspace already (I am having similar moments of absent mindedness fusam - mainly forgetting what I'm doing while in the process of doing it).

Our names are still the same as all those months ago: Olwen for a girl, and either Pirran or Titus for a boy. Everyone has liked them so far... Middle names will be family ones, probably Joan and William.

Honey I'm constantly tired. I could sleep all day (but then was wide awake last night for no reason at all btw 4.30 and 6am ). I think it's a combination of lack of exercise (because it hurts to walk too much), the darkness outside and the hard work I assume my body is doing...

Tyel love your names; they're right up my street...especially Titus. Is there a Cornish influence? I've only ever heard the name Pirran down here.

Sadly I relate to your mother-issues; mine offered me a sterilization as my 17th birthday present...so that I wouldn't ruin my life...glad to say her issues are no longer my own & I'm embracing domesticity & motherhood with open arms. I have to say I feel a whole lot better since I stopped seeing/talking to her recently but it would've been nice not to have had to. Oh well, we can't pick our parent's but we can learn from their mistakes & be the best mum's that we can be...best just to focus on that I think :)

Hehe AWCH - I've got a huge bum sticking out too and have been singing "" in my head this morning

Yep, DH is Cornish (I rejected Pascoe, Petroc, Jago, Trelawney, Demelza, Karenza as names) - he initially rejected Pirran because it was "too common" My MIL lives down in Truro with his younger brother who's still at school, so we go down often. He's very proud of being Cornish - our wedding rings are engraved in Kernewek, we have a Kernow sticker on the car, he reffed his rugby match this weekend in his Cornish Pirates shirt, I can't make pasties because they're not like his granny's because I actually seasoned the filling ...etc!

I'm at your mother - mine is bad enough, but offering sterilisation!! OMG. The only way I've found to deal with mine is to tell myself that whenever she says "you should do x" she is really saying "I want to/should've done x". Unfortunately when I say calmly to her that her decisions are not necessarily the right ones for me, she says idiotic things like "why would you want to repeat previous generation's mistakes", "why won't you listen to advice from those who have gone through it" and the latest - "those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it"

Honey your mother sounds lovely.

tyel love the name Titus.

AWCH I wouldn't bother with a tin of formula as its so expensive if you don't use it! I'd get a couple of cartons instead for just in case. I don't remember feeling DS move when I was in labour but I was off my tits a bit out of it on pethidine.

Hehehe DOOMED! Lol not over dramatic at all is she

Pirran's lovely & not common at all but probably more popular with younger generation down here than the others you rejected. It's never going to be common though & as you don't live in Cornwall I doubt you'd come across another; if that matters to you.

Blimey, thought my Mum was bad, take it you guys won't be enjoying having them over to help out / babysit then. Not that mine has ever done that, but I have friends whose Mum's took over all cooking, washing etc for weeks after they gave birth, must be nice.

I am sofa bound with a nasty cold that DS had last week, at least I seem to have been able 'call in sick' as far as SAHM duties go. DS is with inlaws now and DH this afternoon, shame the neigbours are having their garden done today, can't sleep over the chainsaws.

Oh and I plan to get a batch of abut 10 cartons in case I need to top up. Last time it was a pain not having any in the house and they have longer than 6 month BB dates so if not used in early days might be used at weaning or to replace a feed later on. No one I know in RL bf excusively to 6 months (not that you can't) and I only know one who never used any formula as she did alot of purees from 4 months.

Loving all the names, there was only one boys name we could agree on... Saul... he had better look like a Saul when he pops out!!

And re mothers I too have a horrible mother who I cut out of my life, it took a long time to sort my head out from the past, but the one thing I have taken from it all, is that I know I will do everything not to be like her... we will all be the best mummies ever!! :o

Sorry about all the mother-issues for what it's worth tyel I admire you for dealing with yours unlike me by burying my head in the sand and avoiding dealing with her. Honey wow I am not sure what to say about the sterilization.

AWCH I am not bothering with buying formula but then again there is a 24 hr Tesco near me. Besides there will probably be times such as cluster feeds and so on that formula would be quite tempting and I would like to be able to think it through before giving it iyswim.

Nothing to say fusam it was a long time ago...she's done & said a lot worse & she's very immature so I expect she was just trying to provoke a response. FIL's partner has offered to come & clean house & do washing after the birth though, she's amazing, so I consider myself pretty lucky. :)

Oooh I love Titus Tyel!
kir5ty, love Saul too, all my favourite names being with 'S', but as our surname begins with 'S' I'm not keen on using them. Should've thought about that before I married him

Didn't know about sachets/cartons of formula! I'll just get a couple of them in...just incase. Thank you all!

Sorry to hear so many of us have had quite rubbish mothers & don't speak to them anymore. Most of the baby books/magazines I've read prattle on about how much more you appriciate/understand your mother after having your own children

hello all - been awol with a cold for most of the weekend but my flu jab appears to have bopped it on the head without the hideousness that DH is going through. poor thing is never ill and has just come home from work as he is feeling too rough.

names names names... such a tricky one. I we've had a girls name from with DS which i love/loved but now i'm randomly suggesting other girls names but not too sure why. and boys names... so hard! our DS was really easy - i suggested it and DH said yes love it. now we've had real difficulty so we've got a bit of an odd one. and i'm breaking the rules (between DH and me) and i'm going to tell you - its Farley James Vernon. its an old english name together with a nice normal one in case he doesn't like farley and my dear departed grandad's name (he made ACE shortbread). don't think my DP will like it though. and the worst thing is that i told one of my BFs the name as i was worried it was too out there and she had a horrible pause and said are you kidding - that was the name i'm going to call my imaginary son if i have one.

so the question is - i can still use it right?

also love love love DH's name and would like to suggest it as its nice and unusual without being too odd but that would really pop me out of hte closet in case anyone i know is reading!

We usually tell women not to get formula in 'just in case'. If your baby won't latch, expressing your own milk will keep up your supply and is better for your baby, if your milk is slow to come in (3-5 days is normal) you need to breast feed more not less by adding in formula. Although it isn't true for every woman, one formula feed can have a big effect on supply for some and in the early days can make it difficult to bring supply back in line with baby's needs.

I'm going to say it again now, and will probably be repeating myself endlessly over the weeks where we have newborns but 8 times a day breast feeding is the minimum, every 2 or three hours is perfect for a newborn. If you're having supply issues, feed every time baby is in any way captive or express every 2-3 hrs.

hawthers Farley is lovely, I love old English names, especially for boys. I would use it, as the son in question is imaginary!

Having a lovely day here, painting this morning, DD1 did some maths on a new website I found and we are just waiting for our gingerbread biscuits to cool...with added tangerine rind which was DD1's idea. I've made savoury bad pudding for dinner, proper winter food!

Farley is a lovely name and Farley Mowat is one of my favourite authors of all time, so good associations

mrsbuggy we're so lucky you are here for advice on tap, everything you say confirms what I'm being told too. When I went to lactation consultant workshop a few weeks ago, she made us write down everything we had eaten or drunk in the preceding 24 hours, including things like "drink of water before bed". Then we counted them up and she said an exclusively breastfed baby would be getting every single one of those things through feeding alone. I only had 10 things on my list so she said that might be a baby feeding 10 times a day. Another woman had 27 things on the list, but 5 of them within a single hour - she said that was a perfect example of when you might be feeding five times in an hour, each for only 5 minutes.

I love winter food, gingerbread with citrus sounds lovely but I'm not sure I could face your savoury bad pudding

Im not an expert but agree with ms buggy about the formula. Even one formula feed can have a massive effect on supply etc and if its not in the cupboard then you are more likely to give bfeeding 100% (assuming that is what you want to do). I had a few times with ds where i was tempted tonuse formula e.g. When i got norovirus and was really sick, but in the end i was really glad that i kept going and i think if i had had formula in the cupboard i might have given up.
My SIL usednformula a couple of times and endednup without enoug supply so that for every feed she had to bfeed and then to up with a formula feed, which was an absolute pain in terms of sterilising/heating etc in the middle ofnthe nigt and when out and about.
Hope noone interprets this as being anti-formula, just that if you really want to give bfeeding 100% i think it would be easier not to have formula as an option just in case. Hopenthat makes sense.

Ps i ebf for 12 months and most people i know bf for 6 months. The ones who didnt had problems like inverted nipples etc. I guess it depends where you live etc.

Agree on the formula - I'm sure mixed feeding caused me supply issues. Sadly I had no choice due to a badly jaundiced baby and was told it was formula or a very sick baby, so while I agree in general I don't think it is right to discourage people from being prepared for outcomes beyond their control. To this day I still have no idea what "let down" or "milk coming in" feels like, as I genuinely don't think it happened, and after 6 weeks of trying everything to get feeding to establish, including lots of advice from experts on latch etc, and endless hours attached to the expressing machine, I called it a day and frankly emotionally for me it was the best thing I have ever done because to be honest it was making me feel like an utter failure and very depressed.

I am really hoping for a different outcome this time, and am very pro breast feeding, but I do think the need to sell it in its best possible light to new first time mums can lead to false expectations about how easy/natural it is, and as in my case can cause real mental health problems when that just doesn't happen.

Sorry if that sounds a bit negative, it isn't indended, I just get very defensive when it comes to BF.

We bought some formula in case of an emergency (nuclear armageddon type emergency) but now I'm thinking maybe we should hide it somewhere to avoid temptation...

Buggering iPad! bread pudding obviously! With kale and leeks. The biscuits were lovely, did manage to save a couple for DP too which is impressive with the DDs around!

Sounds like you have a fabulous LC tyel did she do the one where you pass round a box of malteasers?

If anyone hasn't seen the malteasers thing, you are all under strict instructions to buy a bag at some point. While you eat them, look at how tiny they are. A malteaser is the same size as the stomach of a newborn baby. Now the feeding little and often make sense! Show your DP too.

I am available for bfing support on tap, I don't want to put my email address here but if anyone wants it pm me. I'm on mat leave from my regular bfing work so I have plenty of time (as evidenced by the amount of time I spend MNing!)

tyel send it to a friend's house? Still there if you do decide to use it, but not tempting when you've been bfing all night and are knackered?

just to add another opinion into the mix, with DS we did mixed feeding for 10 months.

due to him being in hospital for a long time, i expressed for donkey's years a while and then when he finally came home he was fully breast fed . unfortunately due to a knackered liver and weight issues he had to be put onto special formula as well as being bf-ed.

what i'm trying to say (although i'm sure my point isn't very clear) is that there are a whole host of reasons to do one thing or another and for each person and for each baby there are different 'right' ways to go. hmm now a bit confused as to whether this is the discussion that is being had or not...

anway i've finally bought some cute baby clothes so i'm rather chuffed today!

Hi

I'm still feeling ill so have doctors appointment in 10 mins then i'm going to get my mum as she is coming to stay for a bit and help out with getting baby stuff ready and spending time with her Grandson. Its also her 70th birthday on Friday so hoping to take her out for a meal

see ya xx

Yes she is FAB mrsbuggy - I'm really lucky! She lives down the street and has a three hour drop-in session every Thursday afternoon for BF help, does house calls (apparently even in the middle of the night if you are desperate!), is one of the staffers on the NHS breastfeeding helpline and is married to one of DH's colleagues so we see her socially as well. Every mum within a 10 mile radius I've met has sung her praises to me so I will certainly be taking full advantage (and paying for it of course, I want her to stay in business!!)

She did show us a marble (that was the size of a malteaser) and then a golf ball to show that colostrum really is enough at first, and then slowly the stomach size increases as the baby grows.

thepippy sorry you had such a hard time bfeeding, hope it is easier for you this time but if not it doesnt mean that you are a failure! I do know what you mean though as i always feel like a failure that ds was so premature and it feels like my body let me down. I guess its a natural reaction but doesnt mean that its true!

But i dont think that advising people not to have formula in their cupboard is discouraging people for being prepared for outcomes out of their control, as if you do have problems bfeeding then i would suggest the first thing to do is get some help with latching or whatever is needed, that could solve the problem straight away (and as you say you got lots of expert advice first but it just didnt work out for you). Then if youre still having problems you can just go and buy some formula. Unless you live in the middle of nowhere most people would be able to get their hands on formula within a few hours if necessary. Anyway, thats just my opinion and advice!