December 2011 - She Canna Take Much More, Cap'n...

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Betwee 8 and 12 weeks to go...and we're giving it all we've got!

hawthers sorry I didn't post yesterday - spent all day going through the contract that was allegedly so shit that the partner had to "rewrite". Happily I discovered that he was more than slightly exaggerating the scale of how bad it was - it was almost all typos and cross-referencing errors, not genuine enormous mistakes - but still we are supposed to "get it right first time", partner should be able to just rubber-stamp it, etc. I know that if I'm being charged out at £350 an hour to clients I really should be getting dumb stuff like cross-referencing right though.

I can see that it's almost all distraction and tiredness that's making me fuck up though I am having worries about incipient Alzheimers... On Sunday I went out with one sock on. Yesterday I tried to put my season ticket upside down through the barriers at Waterloo not once, not twice, but three times before the queue of angry commuters behind me ripped my head off like a crowd of angry zombies alerted me to the fact that something was wrong. And this morning I walked around for a good 10 minutes at home looking for my glasses only to find out that I was wearing them.

With regards to US organisations for those of you suffering HR problems, I did a little reccy at my firm - I'll be off for 6 months here, half pay but get the other half as a bonus 6 months after I return. Comparison with our US offices - lawyers (even the most senior) get 12 weeks max on full pay. All other staff between three(!) and five weeks depending on seniority on 75% pay.

Not too much to report on the pregnancy front - have a physio appt tomorrow to help with the SPD, 34 week MW appt not till Oct 25th but that's when I'll go over the homebirth plan with the midwife. Fingers crossed it works out...

Grrrr, can't believe I was actually moaning a couple of weeks ago that BH hadn't started as I was worried about not knowing what to expect from contractions...they're really irritating me now. Incidentally, how much like real contractions are BH? Not sure what I was expecting but I've heard of people rushing to hospital thinking they were in labour when it was just BH so I guess I was expecting something more...I dunno, impressive? dramatic? Apart from the niggling back pain it seems surprisingly low key.

Oh and last night I went to an absolutely fantastic 2 hour breastfeeding class just down the road with a lactation consultant who works with a local non-profit org called Nature's Mothers (she may have founded it and she also is one of the consultants who staffs the NHS breastfeeding helpline - I didn't even know there was one!) Check out the website, there is so much useful stuff on there.

I was wondering what exactly we were going to talk about that I didn't already know from the internet and reading various books but it was incredibly useful and I learned so much. There's even a drop-in session in the lactation consultant's house every Thursday afternoon all year round, about 10 minutes' walk from our flat - I really want to make breastfeeding work and feel so lucky that I will have such great support available practically on my doorstep. They have a hotline and email support as well if you can't make it to them - check out the website, it was fab.

The best thing about the lactation consultant is that she was a biology teacher before becoming a lactation consultant, and she was totally non-judgemental about formula feeding as well - totally non-preachy, no scaremongering, and incredibly practical advice about how to make BFing work if that's what you decide is best for you and you want to make it work, rather than beating us over the head about breast being best.

mrsbuggy aren't you a lactation consultant too? I remember you mentioning something of the sort...this is probably preaching to the choir to you

Yayyy honey that's great news!!

As for weight gain you all have me worried now, I have already put on 2 stone!! Im mainly bump so can't understand where its all gone! My thighs are a lot bigger and boobs a little... but 2 stone?? Still another 9 weeks to go!

The mw told me yesterday (as I explained about the very bad pressure) 'sounds like his head engaged, then he moved again' erm hello... I'm a first time mum, please explain and reassure me about that!!

Also I have spd, its getting really bad at in bed and I can't walk properly because of the pain/ stiffness, but mw said 'yeh that happens' sooo I have bought my own gym ball... any pointers on what to do would be great!!

I haven't had any BHs. Fingers crossed it stays that way.
...Still no news on whether the offer has been accepted. Do I call the estate agents, or does that make me look to keen? Talked to solicitors this morning, they say that dependent on mortgage people etc pulling their weight, they can complete in 4 - 6 weeks, which would be perfect. My sister was 2 weeks late with her first, so I reckon I'll be on the later side too - which would probably drive me crazy, but it would be great to get in a new house and at least "set up" before the lo makes an appearance.

kri5ty I've put on 2 stone too & it's all gone to my bum & thighs :( Although I wouldn't say that I look like I've put on that much...it is quite disconcerting but I don't think there's much point in comparing weight gain so don't waorry about it, we're all different shapes & sizes & pregnancy affects us all differently :)

Oi Don't call they'll see it as a sign of weakness! They're either playing you to see if you're super-keen & will chase them OR they're seriously considering your offer & haven't yet made a decision. Either way, nothing to be gained by calling...not that I've ever sold a hose but I have watched every episode of Location, Location, Location :o

Question to all those on iron tablets what dose have you been prescribed? My GP has prescribed 3 x 200mg a day but RDA is 14mg & MW said I should just take 1 tablet & keep taking my pregnacare which has 17mg. Not sure who to listen to

oimissus I'd maybe give them a couple more hours then ring, you must be desperate to hear though! Unless your estate agent has forgotten to phone it's probably a good sign you haven't heard as it may mean they're considering your offer.

I haven't had any BH yet either, although I was having by now last time.

honey I think some people find BH extremely painful, for other they're just slightly uncomfortable. I didn't find them too bad tbh, though proper contractions were a bit of a shocker. I'm hoping the natal hypnotherapy will help me to stay calm, last time the contractions were more painful than I'd anticipated and I panicked and needed drugs.

You are right. They've either not made a decision yet, or the estate agent is playing me to see how keen we are. Deep breaths, controlled breathing, 1, 2, 3, relax (natal hypnotherapy). I shall hold off.

HI, all,
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. We met with DS's nursery last week, about the social interaction thing, and it is still very vague, but we're going to go ahead with the assessment thingie anyway. Still trying to watch him and pick up clues about when he holds back, and how, but it's difficult to codify.

I'm afraid I can't contribute to the weight loss/gain chat, either, as I simply don't know! Bending over is getting to be a trial now, for sure! However, my back is feeling better, which I don't really deserve, as I haven't really been doing my exercises, unless you count the stretching of being on my hands and knees on the floor, doing the pinning for a duvet cover (DS is going to go into a single bed!) which is nearly ready.

With regard to the sleeping-one-one's side issue, I am trying to sleep on my left, too, but do have to switch back and forth, like many of you (baby not too happy about that, either!), as I think she's putting asymmetric pressure on my skeleton otherwise. Maybe she'll finally pop out soon: DS was fully in the fleshy bit of my tummy toward the end last time, so I used to wake up with a flattened bump, which I would then flip over to the other side, just to see him squirm into position .

Baby still needs a sleepsuit, nappies, etc., and I need maternity pads, so all your sorting out activity is rather shaming.... especially since it can be quite fun to sort and fold baby clothes and bits!

Well done Oi I assume the estate agent knows you're pregnant? Don't think they won't use that against you! A couple of my friends are EAs & they're lovely people but very shrewd when it comes to getting the most commission they can; they have to be in this market when less houses are selling. A really good EA will be playing both of you off against each other

Oi just stick to your guns and see what happens. While EAs have been know to play you off agaist each other...ultimately it is in his interest to get the offer accepted and quickly. The less time spent on one house means that can more more of a commission.

I haven't had any BH either. I am hoping to have some so I can practice this hypnobirthing breathing during them. I know that BH is meant to be nothing compared to the real deal...but it would be good to get some practice in!

Lastly... the GP has prescribed me iron tablets and they have made me v constipated :( Do you think there are any serious consequences to being anemic during pregnancy...coz I was seriously considering stopping to take the suppliments!

Am having such a shit day need to moan apologise to you who saw this on the first timers thread already but last night my parents announced they are coming to stay with us 15th December to 23rd December flights are booked. Since husband works in 3rd bedroom with a single bed and the double room has been converted into nursery we have only 1 spare bed, now don?t get me wrong I do want them to come, we live 100s of miles apart and won?t have seen them for 3.5 months by time they come, they want to see their grandchild but I might have not had him yet, if I have I will want some time to myself to recover and set some sort of routine 8 days of them in the house seems a bit much. They are either going to have to stay with us and we are going to have to sort something out or I will have to tell them to stay in a hotel and give them one of our cars to get around with, seems miserable really.

DH went mental predictably about it and now I am going to have to have a very difficult conversation with my mum. This morning DH fish tank has broken down so he got hysterical about that and how many of his fish are going to die with the filtration system not working, that he couldn?t find stuff and it must be because I had moved it had a massive row about it and then about last night?s announcement again.

Got to work to find out that something I had been forced to rush through has been done wrongly at a cost to the business so had to correct and resubmit it?I am anally methodical normally so knew this would happen and feel it is going to reflect badly on me. Also been working on achieving my chartership in my professional body and have been working on it when I can over the last few months, just found out they have changed the upgrade process so I can literally throw hours of work done on it out of the window and have to duplicate the effort to come up with what they now want. I honestly thought I was going to cry at my desk.

Feeling really stressed which is not like me really wish I could just wake up tomorrow and it be the end of November and miss the next 6 weeks. I have ante natal tonight I might speak to the midwife.

Have just received a voicemail from the EA - left at 10.20!!! stupid bl00dy i-phone rubbish! They've turned down the offer and are being very silly and making up stuff about their expected rental income. I have the facts and the figures, so know they are talking out of their posteriors. I am waiting now for the EA to call back and I will tell him in no uncertain terms - nice and politely that my offer is final. If they prefer to sit on a rental income for over 40 years rather than get that same income in 4 weeks, that's their choice. It also sounds like they are starting to mess about regarding the land at the front of the house - which is clearly detailed in the particulars. If there is any question there, the sale is off. I'm not being messed about. Tis a buyers market.
figgy how can your parents be so daft? Surely your mum should discuss this with you before booking flights? Be straight with her, it's the only way. You really don't need this stress, and your relationship doesn't need this stress - you are first time parents - you have enough on your plates. I'm sure your mum will understand once you've explained this. Local Premier Inn here they come!
The work and chartership issues are rightly very annoying too. :( Good luck with both.

Sounds like an awful lot to deal with figgy, lots of sympathy. Your parents really should have asked you.

Well, I found the card ( in the chicken feed cupboard of course, how silly of me not to assume that was where it would be!) So we went to he group and I now have tired, muddy children!

Honey My GP has prescribed 2 x 322mg ferrous fumate or 2 x 100mg Ferrous Iron a day. Frankly I would listen to your GP rather than the midwife who is not trained to give prescriptions or make dosage decisions. If you are really unsure I would stop the pregnacare for a bit... call your dr and let him/her know that you are taking it before you make a decision.

figgy i personally would suggest a hotel. Just explain, I'm sure they will understand as they have been there. It's not a shitty thing to do, you're making sure you rest, you can bond... and also it won't be much fun for your parents with a crying newborn and (possibly) stressed new mummy and daddy! I'd book them in as a Christmas pressy lol :o

Hi everyone, I've put on 2 stone as well. I think a lot of it is on my thighs but I'm trying not to worry as i did lose it all quite quickly last time (and then put it on again due to stuffing my face being around the house all day on maternity leave!).

Can't remember who said that they are doing stupid braindead things but I coudln't find my breakfast cereal the other day and thought maybe i had finished it but forgotten. A couple of days later Dh asked me what is was doing in the fridge! Oops! I must have opened the fridge 20 times and still not seen it in there! So glad I've been signed off work and don't actually have to think!

I'm getting lots of aches and pains at the moment. Rib pain, back pain and really bad heartburn.

I've not packed my bag yet but am only 29 +4. Still need to get new mattress, breast pads, double pushchair and wash all the baby clothes. When are people washing theirs? I don't want to do it too early but don't want to do it at the last minute either!

figgy is there any chance your parents can change their flights? It does seem odd that they booked them without checking with you first. I would find that very stressful if I were you!

Having massive chocolate cravings today...

Mmm chocolate! I may venture out in the rain just for some!

Ps no BH here either.. fingers crossed they stay away

figgy thats really unfair of your parents. What are they like? Will they be helpful if you have a newborn or will you and your DH be expected to wait on them. If you don't want them to stay do try and get it sorted out otherwise you'll always regret it, I'm still annoyed now that my parents turned up at the hospital 30 minutes after DS was born ruining our first few hours as a family. If you don't want them there I'd even go as far as to say as much as you want them to see their grandchild you're going to need some time to bond and adjust just as a family. Could they re-schedule flights for a couple if weeks/a month later, that way you get the first few days to yourselves and they don't lose their money. Would they be able to use skype so they can see the baby?

Hi, all. Trying to keep up better now.

figgygal, there are a lot of past Am I Being Unreasonable threads about this very issue, so if you poke around in the archive (go to AIBU and then click back through the pages), you might find some useful phrases for diplomatically putting your parents off. The space situation doesn't sound ideal, and what were they thinking, booking without asking you?! What if your ILs had done exactly the same, also without asking you? Your own parents would have gone mental!

OiMissus, that line about sale vs rental sounds a great one to take with them. And you can put sever pressure on them by explaining that if they delay at all, the sale is off, because you can't be doing with moving while in labour...

They've accepted the offer!!! (they obviously thought the line was a good one too plu!)
I stuck to my guns, and the price without budging, and after a few phonecalls, thay have said Yes!!
Now I've got to start with solicitors and banks, and valuations, and... They'd better be good, amenable and QUICK!

Hurrah hurrah hurrah! Springfield will soon be mine!

Congrats OiMissus

wowsers oi congratulations!!! that is great news

Congratulations Oi!

figgy how well do you get on with your parents? Do you have the kind of relationship where you can tell them exactly what's on your mind, without fear of upsetting them?