December 2011 - She Canna Take Much More, Cap'n...

[Xiaoxiong]

Betwee 8 and 12 weeks to go...and we're giving it all we've got!

Is anyone else fed up with how much longer everything takes? I'm trying to do all the housework today as DH is off work from tomorrow until Friday and I never seem to get anything done when he's here. All I've done is cleaned the sink and toilet, hoovered and cleaned the kitchen sink and worktops, it's lunchtime already and I haven't even touched the mountain of ironing yet, or spent any time with DS.

I hope everyone else is having either a more relaxing or more productive day than I am!

I'm one of those people that does housework if nothing better presents itself for attention. A slattern in other words[hwink]

The best thing to do is just do what you can when you can. Concentrate on those things that to be done. IF the stairs are dusty it's not a crime, if you have clean clothes and dishes the day is looking up:)

Plu no progress yet, but I'm seeing a counsellor on Monday morning.

I'm getting more uncomfortable by the day, and I swear the baby is trying to do a repeat of the John Hurt Moment. I'm also getting little shooting pains inthe bit between my bump and my pubic bone. Anyone know which piece of my anatomy is suffering?

I have energy again!!! Only been taking iron for 2 days but the difference is amazing. My brain no longer feels fuzzy. So today I have cleared the windows, DP and I have cleaned and re-organised the living room, I have baked two loaves of Apple and cheese bread for the freezer and we've done two loads of washing.

Yes, everything is taking me longer and the DDs are doing most of the picking stuff up off the floor but I feel so great that my brain is working again that I don't care!

Yes seven. I've just attempted laundry, dishes (usually DH's job but he has interim reports to write) and cleaning the kitchen - after an hour I've had to sit down for a cup of tea and a breather!

zombies - is it a shooting pain along the line down the middle of that area? It sounds like where I was feeling pain from SPD. I got one of these Serola belts though and it's like magic - I can now turn over in bed and walk around without it hurting so much.

mrsbuggy amazing how quickly the iron worked and congrats on being so productive! My brain is working a bit better too but my problem wasn't iron, it was sleep - so last night I listened to the hypnobirthing relaxation cd and slept through the night for the first time in a long time...

Ragu is about to be started for dinner so it can have a few hours simmering away on the stove - and I think I saw my favourite Astaire & Rogers movie Top Hat on iPlayer so hopefully I can convince DH to watch that tonight

Low: I seem to have strained myself stretching while swimming,

but

High: the virtuous feelings from the exercise have made me feel better. I also scoffed some smoked salmon for lunch (purely for the health-giving omega-3s, donchaknow).

Have also done some housework, but it's scarcely worth mentioning, as it can't be seen. Bloody carpet everywhere - it hides the dust and makes me lok as though I haven't done a thing!

Sorelip, have a good talk out, of everything, on Monday. If you want to make sure you don't forget anything you really want to discuss, maybe a spider diagram would help. It keeps all the notes on the same page, and lets you link ideas to one another. I found it really helpful when we were talking to DS's nursery about this difficulty with social interaction business. Didn't help get all our questions answered, but at least we asked them all!

Lovely wedding had yesterday even if the pictures I have seen make me look immense

On wAy home got pulled over by the police for a random drink drive stop when he asked me If I'd had a drink today I pointed out the bump and laughed funnily they let me go without testing me.....what if I'd had a bottle of wine ??

Have been out with DH today in the sun at westonbirt amongst the trees then came home hoovered out both cars, cleaned the kitchen and just finished on the bathroom. Get me!!! It must be that nesting malarkey!! Am now speeding thru last nights x factor b4 tonights installment.

Have had no energy at all today. I picked up at aquanatal, but everything's been such a struggle since. Maybe I need to start on the pregnacare or iron to give me a boost.
Also I need to find a lifelike doll so I can try out the pram - dying to go out for a walk with it! [hwink]

If you do that, OiMissus, you had just better move: all your neighbours will think you are bonkers!

Sorry, that came out a bit harsh. Apologies!

Pretty poo day pain wise. Awful stitch and rib pain on right hand side. Couldn't stand straight or walk or bend properly. In tears with frustration and ouch ness. Only time its ok is when I'm lying down. Feeling very pathetic and sorry for myself, sorry for the whine ladies, but I know if anyone will understand its you lot.
Anyone else had anything like this?

Oh, dear, jomouse, that's hard. Could you take a bath, to get some of the weight off your frame? I was astonished at how bloody heavy I felt, getting out of the pool this afternoon, which really brought home how supportive water is. Or, indeed, just stay in bed - why not?

By the way, you moved recently, didn't you? You haven't been overdoing it on the unpacking and nesting, have you?

Morning,- and plu that was not harsh, they would think I'd lost it. :)
Sorry to hear about the pain jomouse, hope it's passed.
Everything is becoming such hard work now. I was really uncomfortable last night. I was walking to the car and got a really sharp pain - it felt like the baby had pushed it's head right down. So he probably "engaged", I have heard on this thread and with others that they so this, and "disengage" as it suits them... pesky blighters.
Thought I'd give my tubigrip a go today, to try and make things easier. It may be supportive, but hell it's itchy on my belly.
My colleague in Japan tells me that maternity leave there starts 6 weeks before the due date. That would be this Friday for me. I wish that was the case here!

33 weeks today 5 more weeks to go

sorelip thinking of you this morning, hope you find your appointment constructive.

oil I know the feeling! I borrowed my doula's newborn last week to see if I remembered how to tie my stretchy wrap!

The energy continues! I have done my plates dvd this morning, which seems to have made baby go crazy as she is bouncing around now! I also had my morning iron and Orange juice while doing the chicken's anti bug and anti worm stuff which I have been leaving to DP but it is easier for me as they prefer being picked up by me. Plan for the day is washing and knitting.

Morning all! Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. I had a complete breakdown bit of a wobble yesterday. Lots of tears & hyperventilating & telling DP that I can't do this any more, "this" being dealing with his mum, my mum, work, house renovations & having baby. With DP's mum sick again I know she'll be the focus of his attention for the foreseeable future & I don't have anyone else to lean on so I'm feeling very lost & lonely. Also feeling very guilty as this now seems the worst possible time to be starting a family. :(

I have the strongest urge to run away & hide somewhere but at 33 weeks pregnant there aren't many places you can hide from your problems are there? This is so unlike me, I usually just suck it up & soldier on so I think I'll blame the bloody hormones. [hangry] On the bright side(?), I obviously scared the hell out of DP who kept working on the house until 8 last night [hgrin] Bless him, he looks so tired at the mo' but I've being asking him to do a lot of this stuff since March & he's only just getting to it.

jomouse not sure if this is the same thing but unless I'm asleep or in a hot bath I am in constant pain above my bump, along bottom ribs it feels like my bump is being ripped off of me, kind of a burn, like a muscle tear...I assume it's just extreme stretching? I guess since we all carry differently we all get different aches & pains & I doubt there's much that can be done about it. My Belly Bra helps some but at this point I think scaffolding might be more useful [hwink]

sorelip good luck today! Hope the counsellor helps.

Sorry to hear about pains and lack of energy. I'm tired but otherwise coping ok. I think baby may have moved during the night and not be head down anymore, my bump is squishy at the bottom and hard higher up now.

DH is on holiday this week, we're taking DS to soft play this morning then going to cash and carry this afternoon. Hope everyone has a good day.

hi everyone, sorry so many of you are feeling pants :(

Jo I've been having a really bad pain on my left and right sides low down, alternating. Like a really sharp bad ovulation pain. I guess it's ligament stretching. It comes and goes. Rib pain too but think is just baby shoving it's foot in there sometimes as that comes and goes too.

Hope everyone feels better soon.

Got a big box of stuff from a friend at w/e and washed and dried it all. Loads of plain white babygros and vests, which is really hand, and some other clothes, breast pump, gymini, towels, sheets. Really great. Have a lot of the basics now.

honey - stop feeling guilty at once! You are right to focus on you and your new family. And you are right to put pressure on your DP to maintain his focus too and support your family. Your mums will have to take a back seat and realise that they can't lean on you at this time. Be hard.
My advice is to put yourself and your new family first. This does include some house renovations of course, as you need to prepare your nest, but this has to be DPs responsibility.
I realise that this is not easy.
I am the do-er in my family. And I have to ask DH to help to get things done. It's really frustrating. But now is the time for our DPs to really get to grips with their responsibilities - we need them to step up to the plate. So let's get them used to it now before the babies arrive!

sorelip good luck today. I hope it all goes well.

None of us needs these extra house hassles do we?! Overcrowding, sales falling through, renting, moving, renovating, unpacking, - we can really pick our moments, can't we?! Chin up ladies, we'll all get through this! [hgrin]

Lean on us Honey - why else join a thread like this except to ask for support when you need us? You'll always find a listening and understanding ear. When do you finish work? I actually called in sick on Friday because I was so exhausted and I feel so much better this week.

I find that over the day, exactly the same pain develops for me - always on top of the bump, in a line down from my breast bone and along my lower ribs. It must just be the weight of the babe the way we're carrying pulling on those muscles. Other people probably feel aching in other places because the weight is distributed differently.

One thing I was told when I got pregnant is there's never a "right time" to start a family and I firmly believe that's the case. When I got pregnant I was really stressed that I had recently returned from a long secondment and was just at the beginning of my career (1 year qualified as a lawyer) so people might think I'm not serious about my career and take a big hit at first. But as DH pointed out - in 3 years I'll be under more pressure to make my hours, in 6 years I'll be thinking about whether partnership is what I want, and in 9 years I might be fighting for partnership. And would I rather be a 28 year old 1yPQE with a newborn or a 40 year old partner with a newborn? Both are not ideal - but there is no ideal, so the plunge was taken.

I can add to the house trauma too, I've a surveyor coming today to assess for fitting central heating. Anyone else had this done? How much of a pain is it and how long does it take?

We must be the most disorganised bus when it comes to bricks and mortar. Perhaps we should invest in scaffolding, for the buildings as well as our bodies?[hgrin]

Hope everyone has a better day today:)

Seriously hormonal! You lot have made me start crying again. [hsmile] Thank you. I feel a little bit less crazy sharing on here; DP looked at me blubbing yesterday & said I can't understand why you're getting so upset. Aaaaaargh, can he not see that I'm pregnant??? It's like he completely refuses to believe that there's any emotional impact to pregnancy; even without the the hormonal challenge the responsibility I feel for this baby's wellbeing is overwhelming. That's where the guilt comes from; it seems likely that DP's mum isn't going to be around in 2-3 years time...possibly a lot sooner than that :( He says he'll give LO everything they need but I don't see how as I know how all consuming grief is & I don't see how I'm going to hold him together & give proper attention to our growing family if/when the worst happens [hconfused] I don't think either of us are getting the support we need right now & I can't see things getting any better with a newborn.

I know I'm probably overthinking things but it's in my nature to always be 10 steps ahead & pregnancy has made this sooo much worse. I wish I could keep LO inside for another 6 months or a year even where it's nice & safe. Really just need to suck it up & get on with things; if we can at least get the house sorted I'll have somewhere nice to retreat to :)

Tyel I'm self-employed so planning on working up to first signs of labour [gulp]

Awww I was just cced on an email from DH to the buildings department - so great to know that he's 100% in agreement with me on this considering the battering we're likely to get if any of our family find out we're planning a homebirth!!

I?d like your view and the view of your staff if necessary on the possibility of placing a birthing pool in xxx. The issue is weight rather than anything else...
It is very important to my wife and me to have a home birth if at all possible, that is what has been recommended by our midwife in the light of the closure of Heatherwood Birthing Centre. The baby is due on the 3rd December.

Yours in hope,
DH

Honey I'm sorry you're going through so much right now. You have a huge amount on your plate and I won't sugar coat that. If it was possible for you to stop working entirely or go part time I'm sure you would have considered that already. Could you keep working but scale back expectations of availability from your clients? Eg. tell them you'll only be checking emails once a day from now on at noon, and anything received later than 12.30pm will be dealt with the following day? (That's what a partner here did, it worked fine.) Or maybe going down to just working a couple of hours a day to deal with the really urgent stuff? Depending on what you do could you get an unpaid intern for a few months to boost their CV and take over some of the more basic stuff?

In re your DP, it seems to me that it's your anticipation of what you think might be to come for him that is making it hard for you right now. You don't see how you can support him and hold him together - but don't forget that everyone grieves differently and it is no help to him or you worrying now about how he might feel when the time comes. Easier said than done I know

Grief can be all-consuming but not always, especially when death ends a painful or distressing illness. It's entirely possible your DP might feel that way instead. Is there any way of accessing support for his mother? Depending on her illness could there be respite help available?

Anyway we are here to support each other, so don't feel lost and lonely - if you need to run away, which we all need to do sometimes, do a virtual runner to us here on MN

(((((hug for honey))))))

There's never a best time to have a baby! Sorry to hear everyone's feeling pants. I will join the woes by announcing the sudden and completely unpredicted glamourous (!) onset of constipation. Gutted as I thought i was doing really well on the fruit and veg intake!! I usually get a big bunged in the first trimester with morning sickness (living on toast does that!) but had been fine.... Am now on the Movicol hoping it will work but v annoyed!!

And thanks for kind words on here about my bro- things are OK now. I can't do a thing about his stresses but I rang him back and we had a good talk through which helped (and this time I didn't burst into tears!) And my dad's doing well, just need to wait for news of how long he'll be on a waiting list for an op to fix him up more permanently.

My house is sort of fine... Except the boiler keeps making a funny noise. I'm in denial.