The 'We are brooking no arguments whatsoever for an uneventful pregnancy and pain-free birth' thread

[Biscuitsandtea]

Ladies, our previous thread was getting full so here is a lovely new shiny home for us all.

I've put some comfy cushions around and plenty of pregnancy safe snacks and drinks. The Segway park is in the corner over there next to the stack of glittery vom buckets (plenty of extra buckets too for all the newbies).

In the corner over here you'll find our library of leaflets including sections on early pregnancy private scan clinics, pushchairs and car seats.

Hope you all like it very much :)

oh, love and i wondered if it was an NHS perk!!! glad its not.

I suppose if it wasn't a legal requirement for employers, dream, there would be people who wouldn't bother to go or who would have used up leave and wouldn't be able to. The government is obviously trying to keep us and the babies safe. Wasn't that healthy eating grant that you don't get anymore basically a bribe to get people to go to antenatal appointments? Seems amazing that people wouldn't want to when you see how worried we all are on here!

Argh internals!! That's something I'm terrified of! I've heard sooooooo many people say they're painful. However I am going to approach my internals in the same way as needles - NO FEAR!

I hadn't thought about time off for antenatal appointments, it's great that employers are legally required to give you time off for them. Where I work I guess I'm lucky in that all appointments (GP, dental, etc) come out of firm time. I'd always just taken it for granted!

I think I'm going to go to the GP tomorrow and get an appointment to see one of them next week. Officially, they don't want to see us in Cardiff at all; we go in and pick up an info pack from the receptionist, phone the hospital at 7 weeks to book the booking app and scan at 10-13 weeks and go from there. But I'm going to get myself on their radar soon this time and see about some of those extra scans I was promised for this time round...!

I was consultant led for both of my successful pregnancies (changed from midwife led because of issues towards the end each time) but I didn't actually see a consultant until after the births, weirdly! They popped in and visited me the next day before I was discharged. The consultant I saw in May offered to take me on for future pregnancies, and she was really lovely so I think I'll take her up on that! Having had a large baby (DS1) then a slightly early baby and issues with high blood pressure and SPD (DS2) then my late miscarriage in May I think that my future lies down the consultant led path. (Looking at that, someone remind me why I'm going through this all again?!)

Dream That's a definite perk of being a SAHM - I just have to fit appointments in around the school runs. Which I find relatively easy as the hospital's only 10 minutes away, and the surgery's just down the road from school.

Scream I'm a bit nervous about internals...until it's time for the baby to come out, or anywhere near really, then I could have a party up there and really not be bothered! However, I've never had a male doctor or nurse performing an internal, and I think I'd find that a bit weird!

Very stressful day at work we lost a baby :( so sad. Can't believe I'm nearly 14 weeks where did the time go?

Oh Meme - what an awful day - feeling for you this evening :(

So sorry to hear that meme, it must be hard. What work do you do?

Biscuits my section was decided on about 2-3 days before it happened. So not an emergency, but not much warning either! I know from talking to a friend who had to decide whether or not to have another section that ideally they are done after 37-38 weeks, so I don't know if they would plan one before then.

Hi Hawthers I was interested to read about your antenatal care. I am not sure what I am going to be offered this time round, it will be good to compare! DD's IUGR was nowhere near as severe as your DS but I wouldn't say no to the odd extra scan!

Last time I had entirely midwife led care until 35 weeks and hoped to give birth in the community unit with the birth pool etc (the hospital I was at has a fantastic midwife-led unit upstairs from the consultant-led unit and the NICU). The midwife noticed that my blood pressure was up and that my bump measurement was off at a routine appointment at 35 weeks and sent me down the corridor for a growth scan and then to daycare for monitoring.

I was monitored every couple of days for the next two weeks and given several more scans to check for growth and placenta function. After a fortnight by blood pressure was still going up and DD appeared to have not grown in that time so I was admitted. We did discuss induction with a consultant but I was not keen plus my cervix was not favourable, and there are additional risks with inducing babies who have IUGR so after a couple of days in hospital to stabilise my blood pressure I had a c-section.

Not wishing to reignite the midwife vs consultant debate, but rather to reassure, I would like to add that my care was predominantly by midwives and was excellent. The midwife who identified the problem acted immediately to get it checked out. All the outpatient and inpatient monitoring was done by midwives (who then discussed the results with a consultant where necessary) and I was made to feel properly looked after and listened to at a time when I was very scared and probably quite snippy!

Good lord I rambled on.
Sorry to hear about your day, Meme, that sounds really hard.
Hope all of those who are vomity are feeling better. I now feel glad that I have just had what feels like a four week hangover.

Hi all! Thanks for the no brooking.

All they did were bloods and the urine analysis... they said the haemoglobin levels were all fine, and suggested that it was just a 'passing bleed'. I'd have been happier if they'd actually scanned me (not looking for a heartbeat - just to check sac was in tact and in the right place etc!), but there you go. Wish it hadn't taken three and a bit hours, and that I didn't still have a niggling feeling.. :S

But tests all came back ok, apart from one that suggested I was starving, to which I unimpressively pointed out I'd been stuck there for ages (and had come almost straight from work).

Not sure what to do with regard to doctor's appointment now. Think I'll phone them when I next get a chance, explain what's happened (if it's not the same lovely receptionist!), and ask what they want to do about booking and things. I wish there were a how to guide on the hospital/doctor's website: "WHen you find out you're pregnant, do X. At Z weeks, do..." etc.

Also - scrolling back (and avoiding debates I'll admit to being utterly clueless about!) - I knew about being entitled to time off for antenatal appointments, but how do people handle that before telling their employer? or do you just tell them very early on? I haven't told mine yet (DH has)..

...After so long at the hospital I'm now highly unprepared a few lessons tomorrow (the ones I'd left til last cos I'm clueless about!). Shall I just teach all the Yr11s Pirates of the Caribbean? :P

Glad to hear things sound good musicalmrs Excellent brooking. :)

scan tomorrowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

jaggythistle Behind a lots of far oooout man hippyness there is some really great elements to her books :)

Dream, hope you're feeling somewhat better now...

Knitty - Thanks :) I'm looking forward to having our babies together too! I'm not entirely sure where I'm at - somewhere around 5/6 weeks ish I think. My hCG levels seem to comply with that too...

I am not looking forward to the idea of internals.

Menconium - Good luck for tomorrow!

Good Luck, with your scan tomorrow Meconium how exciting!

Sorry to hear that Meme :(

I am glad things are looking ok Music, I hope you have something tasty to eat. Hmm yr 11s I reckon if it has a bit of a sex scene or swearing it will go down well

As for telling employer, I told mine a few days after I found out as I was very worried about having another mc, if I did I would be off for testing and generally distruptive to my working. My job is very active and I can't really hide if I am feeling like sh*te plus I needed to not be doing things like carrying heavy stuff or being around contagious looking children/general public who want to make me ill...

She took it fine and was very nice, what else can they do without breaking the law really?

Gosh, welcome to all the new people! What an exciting and generally roller coaster day everyone has been having.

I just can't help but add my tuppence in to the midwife/consultant conversation. For me it is exactly stories like scream's friend ( and I have known people having similar experiences though thankfully not with such heartbreaking results) that leads me to go in completely the opposite direction and aim for a home birth.

That way I will get 2 experienced midwives with me for the entire birth rather then someone popping their head round the door once in a while. Because of the way they work it my area they will most likely be midwives that I have met and are familiar with me and my pregnancy. This kind of constant care means that I actually feel more confident that any issues will be picked up early then I do about it being spotted in a busy and understaffed hospital, consultant led or otherwise, where I might not even get checked for a couple of hours.

I'm not saying that I would not go into a hospital but as long as I remain low risk it makes more sense and is statistically safer for me to be a home. If my risk changes or I decide I need more painkillers than it's a 5 minute ride down the road to the hospital.

Of course this is just a plan and it might change as my pregnancy progresses. Really I think what is right for you depends on your circumstances and if I was anything other then very low risk I would also be wanting consultant led care, I am not at all anti hospital or anti intervention. I just wanted to explain why going for the consultant led may not necessarily mean you get better or more consistent care then going with midwives in some situations.

Well, that's my bit said. I shall never speak of it again

Good luck for the scan tom Meconium! Are you scheduled for am or pm? I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you. Enjoy hearing your baby's heartbeat for the very first time! (Sooooo exciting!) Remember to Brook No Argument!

Good luck today Meconium - brooking no argument for the most excellent of scans

Liking all the health care comments in germs of contagious people trying to give u things. Some1 walked into A&E yest saying I think I have chicken pox I was out of that room before u could say camomile lotion haha it was really sad tho yest a lady came in very unwell at 38 weeks pregnant and sadly the baby died :( but we are strong that the first one I have really seen x

Meme I have had three sets of chicken pox kids this pg, nightmare as I am not sure if I have had it! Such a tragedy, I know three people who have lost babies late on and it does scare you, never mind having your own mc to worry about. 15 weeks tomorrow so hopefully I will be feeling baby move and able to relax a bit more. I am of course brooking no argument!

Day off today so can't wait for you update Meconium :)

Can I ask about chicken pox? Very naive of me to not know this, but what are the concerns?

I had chicken pox as a child. DS has not yet had it, but mixes frequently with other children at playgroup every week so I'm expecting him to pick it up at some point. If that does happen while I'm pregnant what do I need to be worried about and what do I need to do?

I think if you have already had chicken pox you don't need to worry, but the research varies, I think all you would need to do is call your GP.
And, if ds does get it you have to keep him in until all spots are gone as, if you come across a cancer patient or someone with a weakened immune system then it could potentially kill them. Not many people realise this though or think it is ok if the spots have scabbed over (it isn't).