The 'We are brooking no arguments whatsoever for an uneventful pregnancy and pain-free birth' thread

[Biscuitsandtea]

Ladies, our previous thread was getting full so here is a lovely new shiny home for us all.

I've put some comfy cushions around and plenty of pregnancy safe snacks and drinks. The Segway park is in the corner over there next to the stack of glittery vom buckets (plenty of extra buckets too for all the newbies).

In the corner over here you'll find our library of leaflets including sections on early pregnancy private scan clinics, pushchairs and car seats.

Hope you all like it very much :)

Oh absolutely, birth is a means to an end! And usually the most wonderful end.

I'm kind of hoping for the consultant to say a section for me. DH is dead keen for one (and was ADAMANT for a natural birth first time, so it's not just that he over-medicalises birth). He dug out his textbook and said chances of both babies being in a suitable position for a natural birth is about 40%, so I'm kind of hoping forthem not being iykwim so I don't have to choose. I know the risk of the second twin having a hypoxic birth injury is relatively low, but they are the big bunch I see, and DH is concerned about that too. Plus re-tearing, not sure how much more my perineum can take!!! Sure the consultant will know the risks, pros/cons etc, it's her area after all. Nervous about what will be advised though, either way.

Today I am also very nervous about the babies. I don't know why. I thought the scan would have reassured me, but it being twins makes me want to keep having them both checked that they're both ok! And the expense. We barely spent anything for DD, everything was hand-me-down. We'll need 2 new cots (unless someone can advise me whether DD will be old enough to go into a bed at 18 months?), a big new car, 2 new carseats as ours was third hand from cousins and I wasn't happy to use it again anyway, one new bouncer, one new moses basket (may be able to borrow another of those surely?!) etc etc etc. I don't mean it all has to be new (apart from the car seats), but scouring nearly new sales etc etc is still time consuming and sometimes hard to get what you want. Not mentioning the double, or even triple pram i'll now have to have... The thought terrifies me as we didn't buy anything bar 5 white babygro's for DD, plus new cot and basket mattresses.

Still, I'm totally over-excited about twins now, couldn't be more pleased, feeling better with max dose meds back on board so I'm sure things will work themselves out

Boo scream, I was waiting for the independent mw report, and now I have to wait another 5 days?!?! Don't panic, birth is bad (i'm bad-experience biased though), but even for me with my huge tear there was no screaming in pain. It hurt like hell, but you know what it's for and they can give you loads of pain relief, and it won't be too awful with an epidural (thats your plan, right?). And don't forget, its not constant pain, it comes and goes, and then, from being at its worst, its suddenly gone. All over. Done. Even for me- my tear didn't hurt til later, the elation takes over. And you hve a perfect little baby!!!!! (or two...)

dream - You'll start feeling movement soonish which is sooo reassuring. Must be amazing to be worrying about two suddenly iykwim.

DD is 18 months and I am hoping to move her to a bed around xmas time (21 months) so she is settled and her cot is free by the time dd2 arrives. I think at the moment she is a bit little for a bed and the freedom it brings. Maybe if you got a second hand cot bed for her it might work? Then she could use it from the birth of the twins and it would go on longer than having a spare cot 6 months later?

Or you could keep twins in moses baskets for 3 months then she might be ready?! Hard to know how quick they'll grow though!

Ebay is your friend!!

pomme, ebay is my friend indeed! I don't want to rely on moses baskets as DD hated her basket with a passion!!! I kept saying it and people laughed at me in a 'a tiny baby can't have an opinion like that' way. This one did- from never, and I mean never, sleeping more than 2 hours in her basket, I put her in a cot at 9 weeks in her own room (which was why I'd been hanging on and persevering with the basket) and she slept 8 hours. First night. Longest she'd EVER gone without a feed. I had to check her 4 times, my boobs were nearly exploding with milk by the time she woke up!!!! So if the twins seem to dislike the basket, there will be no hesitation in getting them in a cot! I think you're right though and 18 months is too little for a big bed. And you're so right about the movement. I should maybe feel it a bit sooner with it being cosier with 2 in there? Posterior placenta for at least one of the placentas too, so that'll help with feeling wriggles.

Now, the debate, to find out the sexes or not?!?!

Hiya, back from my mammoth 1 hr 15 min booking in appt - is it normal to be that long!?! Feeling v sorry for myself after the blood tests (such a wuss).

Also the mw was unexpectedly worked up when I told her I was briefly prescribed antidepressants to deal with my pmt when I came off the pill. I'd been on the pill for so many years I had no idea that I would have pmt when I wasn't on the pill, so I was caught offguard by feeling so down for a couple of days each month. The antidepressants did nothing and I came off them after a month or so, and I was fine 28 days out of every 30 anyway. However the mw has referred me for a special consultant appt at 16 weeks "to discuss my issues further", and she's put on my notes that I have a history of depression!! I really don't! It's a hormonal imbalance that kicks in straight after ovulation for just a couple of days! Somewhat irritated by the whole thing.

Still looking forward to the independent mw appt on wed. I think I'm going to need someone on my side, I don't feel like this mw was exactly on my team!

Loving the kiddy-stuff discussion! Moses baskets are insanely cute but I think I'm going to try one of those co-sleeper cots that attach to the side of your bed. I'm just so lazy the idea of not having to get up to pick the baby up for feeds is super appealing!

Ah Scream the booking in appt does drag on a bit. I wouldn't worry too much about the anti-d stuff (based on no medical qualification). I mean that I think the midwives just have to follow certain procedures if certain boxes are ticked, but I'm sure the consultant will be able to make a judgement call at your appt. Do you think you could get a copy of the relevant medical notes / records to show to the consultant to show it was nothing? They just have to be so careful I think with pre and post natal depression. Also, I'm sure there would be people who had more serious issues who might try to talk it down so I bet the mw just isn't allowed to judge it. It will be good to get the independent mw's view on it too - I'm sure she'd be able to tell you what to say to the consultant etc?

I like that idea Biscuits! I hadn't really thought about asking the independent mw about it. Thanks. I just hate being tagged as having "issues" when what I had was a million miles from standard depression. It doesn't mean I went through a traumatic event or anything, it's just hormonal!

(Please don't think I'm implying there's anything wrong with people who are affected by depression. Some of my closest friends have gone through it, and I think it's almost insulting to them to compare what they had to overcome with my couple of days a month!)

Anyways, doesn't matter, only one week left to the 12 week scan! Scary... How are my scanathon buddies doing with the wait?

Hi!

Massive congratulations Dream. Or should that be double congratulations?

I have been having very light bleeding on and off again so went to see my GP today. I am now booked in at EPU for an early scan on Sunday at 8:30am (so early in both senses of the word!). I'll be just 6w5d by then so I am hoping its just about late enough to see a heartbeat.

Am brooking away that all is OK. The bleeding is far less than I had with my DS, but you just never know with this pregnancy malarky!

Dream - I will have a 17 month age gap and when I've looked into it a lot of people suggest not turfing the oldest out of the cot to make wake for the youngest as it may increase jealously if they see new arrival(s?!) in THEIR cot.
So I think the suggestion is that you make the move a few months before the birth or hold up until a few months after. I'm pretty sure that a few months before will be too soon, so it'll pretty much have to be afterwards, which means new cots I'm afraid!

I was also thinking (lazy Mummy warning!) that if you move them to a bed too soon you might cause more night wakings and coming into your room etc, which is the last thing you need with a newborn (or two!) You could try two moses baskets in one cot for a while?

Try not to worry Scream. I understand why it's left you a bit annoyed and concerned. I guess she's just doing her job. I'm sure the consultant won't need to see you again if that's all there was to it. I think sometimes medical professionals are dammed if they do and dammed if they don't. If she'd failed to note something of possible importance she'd be negligent, so no doubt is just covering her back.

When I was pg with DS I was assessed for pre-natal depression (I'd never heard of it before). I think that it was actually more to do with hormones, lack of sleep and working shifts all over the place. The upshot was I got my working hours changed to my advantage and I wasn't found to be depressed after all. Although I was a scared of what it all meant at the time, in hindsight I appreciate now that I was just being looked out for and nothing more than that. I hope I'm not being naive in thinking that my GP and midwife were not looking for problems that weren't there, more that they could help if there were any.

Booking in appointment's are mammoth. DS and this time were both over an hour. It shouldn't take as long as that for future ones, maybe 20 mins or so.

It doesn't matter anyway Scarlet so long as they don't try talking me into any drugs I don't need! So long as my indep mw fully understands my history it doesn't really matter if the nhs mw does; she won't be there at the birth! I'm not going to stress about it.

Are you less nervous about your 12 week scan having had a 10 week one? I was sooooooooo encouraged when you posted about your 10 week scan, with the teeny arms and legs! Is it silly that arms and legs are the things I think I'm most looking forward to!?! Slightly odd I guess! I'm also generally avoiding people until after the scan now. I'm soooooooooooo tired of hiding this, just want to tell EVERYONE!!

Can't believe I missed Duke's message! Sorry! I hope your bleeding stops soon, it must be so worrying for you. I've heard so many stories of people having light bleeding in early pregnancy and everything turning out fine, I'm sure you and the little bean will be completely fine! I hope the scan provides lots of reassurance. I'll be No Brooking for you!

I'm not sure if I'm less nervous or not to be honest scream. I really appreciated that they let me have a 10 week scan as I really was not expecting one. But you know what it's like, there's always something to worry about and I've had days since then (like today) where I've not felt at all pregnant and got into a panic. Yes, I think I'd be worse if I'd had to wait 4 weeks instead of 2, but I'm still terrified I'll turn up on Wednesday and they'll tell me that there's no longer a heartbeat.

I have got so good at practising avoidance. I've been awful for letting people down the last couple of weeks, but I'm terrible when I see people face to face and know I'd end up telling them. Then I'd be really annoyed with myself afterwards. It will be such a relief after Wednesday when we can finally tell all.

Yes I completely get the arms and legs thing. It must be because that's what you see moving about, it just makes it seem that much more real and also look more human

I just said to DH "this is the last weekend where we'll have to see relatives and not say anything" He cannot wait to announce it. The chap he sits next to at work has just returned from paternity leave and DH is surprisingly broody. He's obviously forgotten our first night home from hospital with DS when he said he was going to take him back if he didn't stop crying

I wouldn't think they'd be keen to make you take any extra drugs Scream - I would imagine it would just mean that they keep a bit of an eye on you (even it is a bit unnecessary) and just make sure you're looked after. As Scarlet says they have to cover their backs to a certain extent and better that someone is being over cautious than under cautious I think.

Not quite the same thing but when DS was born I had to have all the premature procedures (being monitored and therefore stuck on the bed etc) in place because he was literally about 12 hours premature, but once you've ticked that box, they have to follow their procedures. To be fair, given he was 8lb 3oz, it wasn't really the same as most of the premature babies that the procedures are designed for but they have to do what they have to do I guess.

I think as you say, as long as your independent mw knows all the details then you'll have a sane and rational person who can still speak coherently when you're in labour

Duke - hope that bleeding stops and that the scan lets you see a teeny tiny heartbeat on Sunday - I'll be brooking for you so do let us know how it goes xx

Dream I'm sure I've seen something about people putting 2 twins in the same cot? I think maybe you can buy a divider to make it like two little cribs, and there is something about the positioning (the equivalent of foot to foot when you've just got one in there). It's not a long term solution but might mean you'd only need one new cot now? Then by the time the twins needed one each. DD would be out of her cot?

Dream, my sister and I were small enough to share a Moses basket for the first couple of months! It was quite a big basket though, which has now been handed down to me - I had to get a pram mattress for it because standard Moses mattresses were too small. I plan to keep it right next to the bed, Scream, even if it does get in the way of the wardrobe door. Then I can just sit up, retrieve Bean and lie down again...

Duke, hope everything is ok - good luck on Sunday!

It's my birthday today and I think Bean gave me a birthday present - I think I felt a kick! I'm not entirely sure.

Too - I hope it was a little kick from your little bean - what a nice birthday present. How are you doing otherwise? Hope you're managing to get along - I'm still brooking away for you xx

Oh yes Duke I'm brooking no argument that you will have a lovely scan on Sunday.

Happy birthday Dumbledore how lovely your bean knew what day it was and decided to let you know.

Excellent idea Biscuits re dream's twin cot dilemma. Buy one cot, they will be able to share for a good few months, by the time another cot is needed DD will be ready for a bed. That is exactly what my friend did with hers.

Oo a birthday kick - how lovely Too!

Brooking for your duke

Biscuits - At even just 12 hours perm albs 3 oz is an amazing weight - probably a good thing he didn't hang around for his due date!

I think you're also right about twins in the same cot - they get used to having each other around and are soothed by each other I think I've heard.

Yes, I did wonder how I'd have got him out if he was any bigger given I had enough trouble at that weight!

Right. One cot bed for 2 twins. Sorted. THEN kick DD out and retrieve her cot! As I said, I don't trust they'll like moses baskets. Would love them to share though. I read today that twins' main attachment is to each other, and they are more likely to have separation anxiety at 6 months about being separated from each other than from their mum!!! So loving the thoguht of them initially sharing the cot.

Happy birthday too! Lets call it a kick, hooray!!!

scream, that is exactly what drives me mad about allied health professionals (speaking as one myself)- you cannot, or will not, use any common sense and judgement when making a decision. You clearly don't need to see a consultant for that 'depression'!!

Booking appointments take an hour minimum, so I was told both times. Mine is next tue.

So I still feel awful, despite my meds. I tried to eat dinner, having quite bad hunger pains. Vommed up a mouthful onto my plate, yes, my plate! Mortifying. Then had a good cry. I'm blaming the up-all-night on top of pg exhaustion too, but its so frustrating. I just want to feel full, or at least not hungry for the first time in days.... I had such bad hunger pains at about 3am this morning, and I reckon I could have eaten, but I didn't dare move DD from my chest, I couldn't cope with her waking up and hollering again. So I feel like I lost my chance today. Boo!!!

Duke, hope it all goes well for you! and there's a lovely heartbeat flickering at you. DH reckons it'll be 18 month age gap for us...(!!!)

Don't worry scarlet, you're Bloomingly Obviously pregnant, no wonder you're having to avoid people!! It is such a relief to announce it openly though without feeling wierd, so I will look forward to it for you!

oh, and I think I need a slap. I am torturing myself with images of miscarrying one of the twins, or having a complication with the pregnancy, and various other horrible things happening to one of the babies...

Anyone to hand out said slap/shake to knock some sense into me? Or tell me where/what best to google to find some reliable info on it on t'interweb??? DH is trying to reassure me a bit but his 'don't worry it'll probably all be fine' approach isn't helping enough.....

In terms of places to look on t'interweb, have you ventured on to the ante natal thread for twins on here? I'm sure I've seen some bits dotted about for twins? (or rather for their parents!)

wow congrats dream on you twins! have you seen the bunk cots they are soooooo cool I would love one but they are pricey, also my friend had twins and a 14month old so had an icandy peach blossom with buggy pod on the side, or had on child in a sling with the other two in the icandy its great I really would recommend it for three children

ikea does cots for £40, which may be useful if their is a cot shortage
also H&M do a 2 pack of nursing bras for £14 I have been buying those so I dont have to buy yet more bras afterward

TAMBA (twins and multiple birth association) are where its at dream :)

Brooking for you Duke that you have a lovely scan on Sunday (although 8.30am is early! But at least you won't have all day to worry about it).

Dream do you have any NCT nearly new sales near you? I have been to a couple since DD was born and have got some amazing bargains. It is a total scrum but definitely worth going to, especially if you get there as it opens. They have them every 6 months or so here. There is a sale finder on the NCT website.

And I hear you on the 20 week appearance, except I don't have the excuse of two babies! I am going to have to tell people so that I can get into my maternity jeans.

I have had a somewhat challenging day with DD. She has been both utterly charming and totally frustrating. I thought it might be time to step up our gentle introduction to potty training (she is 2) so we went and bought some pants. She loves them. So much that she insisted on wearing all 5 pairs at once for the rest of the day.

Happy birthday too! What a considerate baby to give you some birthday kicks!

hawthers, sorry if you mentioned it already, but did you get any clarification on your baby's centile? FWIW, DD was below the 5th and didn't need SCBU, had no trouble feeding etc. But I hope you got a straight answer!

Duke - Brooking no argument for you, and that you see a lovely flickery heartbeat on Sunday. I know first hand just how scary it is, so I hope you're doing ok.

Scream - I think they're just being thorough! I met a midwife for the first time on Monday (after my scan), and they wanted to go through my medical history. After telling them about the bulging disc I have in my spine, they wanted to know lots of details, including about the therapy technique I used that they hadn't heard of! I also told them I'd had a vitamin D deficiency, and she wrote that all over the blood form, to try and get them to test for that too!

I'm also tired of hiding it! I'm sporting a considerable bump for 8weeks - but I'm certain a lot of it's bloating, as I only look large the majority of the time (not all of the time!). Want to book a shopping trip with my mother in London over half term - something we do from time to time - but I couldn't shop for clothes, and as I haven't told her yet it all seems a bit awkward..! But DH and I decided earlier to wait until after the 12week scan, just to be safe... which is a month today.

I've heard great things about the Ikea cots meme, and may well invest in one.