December 2011 - Support tights time!

[BeeMyBaby]

Had no idea what to call it, sorry. Just googled third trimester and that was the recommendation...

sorelip so sorry to hear about your depression, - reading your situation, I can't say I'm surprised. It sounds really tough, and especially in your condition. What are the prospects of getting out and getting your own place? You and your DH need your own space and time to yourselves. Good luck.
And yes, you should get a flujab. Being pregnant we are much more susceptible to flu and to swine flu, and it can kill. Last year I read a story about a woman in the Telegraph who lost her baby, and it broke my heart, her message was "Let me be a warning, all pg women should have the jab" - I took note. I'm getting mine done on Friday.
aethel they are very well protected in there, but I agree, it's hellish scary! I fell last month in the street and it really shook me up.
Other exciting news: I won the Euromillions lottery last night! Yep! It was me. I got the email about exciting news about my ticket. I logged in and there it was in my account a big, fat £2.60.
Can't decide what to spend it on...

sorelip I can tell you exactly what will happen when you sit down and talk to a professional - their heart will break for you, like mine is, but unlike me they will be able to help you in much more concrete ways. Pour it all out, don't apologise and let off as much steam as you need to. Agree with Oi, any prospect of moving out? Or even having a sit-down with your siblings and seeing whether you can jointly force your dad to leave? (My DH had to do this with his dad)

Sorelip your home life would tip anyone over the edge tbh, so don't worry about talking to a professional about it. Would you be able to get your own place? As it could be even more stressful with a baby thrown in.

Don't spend it all in one place now OiMissus . Drinks are on you at the next meetup.

I am having problems with my mother again. We are not close and I suspect she has undiagnosed MH issues. She can be hyper critical at the best of times but this seems to ramp up when I am pregnant or have a baby. I saw her last night for the first time in months and she was really horrible just saying things to be hurtful. I was going to have her at ours for Christmas (I try to have her over every other year) but I am thinking not bothering this year. I just think she is bad for my own mental health and her critical comments have now started on DD which gets my back up. On the flip side she has burnt her bridges with all friends and family so if I don't have her, she will be on her own, sigh...

fusam do you tell her "that's not a very nice thing to say" or do you bite your lip? I'd be very tempted to (gently) have it out with her and tell her how hurtful she can be. Then she'll have time to mend her ways before Christmas, or at least understand why she's not invited.
Families...! Who'd have 'em?

Errr.. that'll be us. :) Starting a whole new generation of feuds and difficulties! (But of course we'll all do a much better job!)

Sorelip, wd on talking to the GP about it. Sorry about your depression, I hope your homelife situation improves soon.

fusam, sorry to hear about your problems with your mother.

I've just realised I completely forgot to go see my MW on Friday, I'm a bit that, her being my Mental Health MW, she's not phoned me (or DH) to see why I didn't go. So I'll go see her this Friday instead and see if she mentions anything.

Oi, spend it wisely!

mmmcheese is it much safer to devilver at 34 weeks? Are the lungs developed by this point?

So far its a no from me for the flu jab, DH isn't a fan and I tend to trust his judgement on these things. I didn't have one last time when it was peak swine flu time in my last pregnancy either.

The NHS says:
"Pregnant women
It is recommended that all pregnant women should have the seasonal flu vaccine, whatever stage of pregnancy they're in.
This is because there is good evidence that pregnant women have an increased risk of developing complications if they get flu, particularly from the H1N1 strain.
Studies have shown that the flu vaccine can be safely and effectively given during any trimester of pregnancy. The vaccine does not carry risks for either the mother or baby. In fact, studies have shown that mothers who have had the vaccine while pregnant pass some protection to their babies, which lasts for the first few months of their lives.

Are there any side effects?
The seasonal flu jab does not usually cause side effects. Sometimes, it can cause mild fever and slight muscle aches for a day or so.
The flu jab cannot cause flu as there are no active viruses in the vaccine. However, people sometimes catch other flu-like viruses, or very occasionally could catch flu before the vaccine takes effect.
Allergic reactions to the vaccine are rare."

You have to decide whether or not you trust the information.

I'm going to have it because I think the risks of getting flu (ie. mum and baby dying) massively outweigh the possible side effects of getting the jab, and we're so much more at risk of getting flu now we're pregnant. It's up to everyone where they think the balance of risks are though.

I am definitely taking the jab this year, there were mortalities last year of pregnant women but no known side effects as of yet. For me the risk of an unknown side effect is negligible compared with the real risk of being very poorly from the flu whilst pregnant due to our suppressed immune systems.

I have the flu jab every year due to medical conditions. I moved house 3 months ago, so im at a new docs. I went in yesterday to ask for it, and they said "oh we wait until there are 20 names on the pregnancy list that want it, put your name here", so i did... number 3! I feel like by the time there are 20 women on there, i will have already had my baby! I went to superdrug as they do them there, but they wouldnt give it to me as im preg... does anyone know if i cn get it done elsewhere other than my docs??

sorelip wd on telling the doc. I told mine last month, and wasnt taken seriously at all, despite mentioning i am not eating due to it etc, i felt stupid and like no one can help me. so im really glad your doc is taking it seriously!!
My mother was an alcoholic (still is but i dont talk to her), and i also lived at home with her and my step dad whilst they were separated. It is a horrible situation to be in, and even the most "normal" person living your life would become depressed. I havent talked to anyone professionally recently, however a few years ago i did due to lots of childhood issues. They really helped, even though at the time i didnt see how they could. :)

or wot Ty said.

It's been deliveries galore today and now have britax carseat and oyster pram and buggy board here now so we are done with major purchases and can move on to the more exciting and cute stuff.

Can I be nosey and ask which prams are everyone has/is getting? Hanging around the pram sections of shops is turning me into a secret pram addict.

I don't have a special one i have this one

I needed a travel system that would fold up small enough for my boot, and was cheap (we got it for £260) its easy to put together, but we shall see how long it lasts!! It looks a lot nicer in person

sorelip I really feel for you. As others have said is there any way you can get out? If you can't afford to buy/rent somewhere yourself can you put your name down for a council property?

Beemybaby 34 weeks is a lot safer than 28 weeks! Of course 37 weeks is much better but I'm not sure how likely it is I will make it that long, so I have my mind set on 34 weeks which is when they no longer give you steroids and most babies have a sucking reflex.

I really want the flu jab but when I called my Gp they said i need to talk to my MW who I don't see for 2 weeks but they said that's fine and they're not even starting injections for another 2 weeks anyway. I'm a bit worried about it now!

I'm no closer to making a decision on the flu jab since my MW appt yesterday. My concern is the H1N1 part of the jab just hasn't been around long enough to know that it's not going to cause problems years down the line. I expressed this to MW, expecting her to put my mind at rest but she just agreed with me & said she's not sure what she'd do in my position. I'd like to think that the NHS knows what it's doing & I told her so but as she said what about Thalidomide? For someone who works for the NHS she doesn't seem to be much of a fan so I don't know how to take what she says :( I work from home though & apart from MW & orthodontist appts (when I use lots of anti-bacterial hand rub) I'm a bit of a hermit so I think I'm lower risk than most...think I'd probably have it if I was on the tube every day. Is anyone else not having it & if so why not?

Two separate friends of DH told him to get a phil & ted's (they both have two kids though). I like the look of the city mini but haven't seen it in the flesh, as it were. My mother thinks we should get a maclaren and just use a sling until the LO is big enough for it although today, I saw a woman in waterloo station with a maclaren and a baby car seat attached to it somehow which I didn't know you could do with a maclaren.

Unfortunately I have a feeling none of these will fit in the boot of our Ford Ka...we'll probably put it off until I go on mat leave and then frantically make a last minute excursion to this place and just buy the first thing we like that fits in the boot.

V exciting fusam, we aren't getting our deliveries until the end of the month. :(
I chose my pram on a whim. Saw it, wanted it, end of research. (I can be quite ignorant in the face of beauty!) We're getting the Xplory Stokke - because of its height - and adjustability - and features. The bit where it fails is the suspension - the wheels are solid, so it might be a bit bumpy on rough terrain. (But that's part of the fun, isn't it?).
I fell in love with the winter kit - furry handmuffs (I'm such a tart) - but that alone is about £200, so I held back, I can buy some furry gloves instead. :)

p.s. I have a big boot (fnarr fnarr) and DH is a white van man - so we didn't have to worry about boot space.

I think Honey everyone has to decide where they're comfortable the balance of risk lies. I would talk to a doctor rather than a MW if you're concerned though - the MWs are great, I love mine, but the balance of statistical risk from a jab vs getting the illness is not something I believe MWs are trained to assess (from my conversations with my MIL who is a professor of nursing in Cornwall, works for the NHS and has it every year).

I think medical science has moved on since the 1950s - from what I understand, the understanding of what happened with thalidomide (which was withdrawn from the market in 1961!) has actually made the required burden of proof far higher for medications, jabs and other drugs being given to pregnant women, precisely because that was such a huge awful disaster.

I know you wanted to hear from people who aren't having the jab, so I will shut up now, but just to say I think my main reason for having it is that if I caught flu, not having had the jab, and knowing that I'm at far higher risk of catching flu being pregnant, I would never ever be able to forgive myself if I or my baby died. This is a real-life known and proven risk if a pregnant woman catches flu, compared with the unknown unknowns of the flu jab possibly having downsides even after controlled trials showing it's safe for pregnant women.

Any info is appreciated Tyel :) The only reason I asked to hear from those not having it is that I think the benefits are obvious & I just wanted to be sure I hadn't missed any negatives before making a decision. My MW is lovely but a bit scatty so I struggle to talk about anything serious with her...I was about the Thalidomide comment tbh, sooo not the right thing to say to a pregnant woman.

Oh and also - I will really really go away now - research shows that many commercial hand sanitizers don't kill the flu virus. The wiki article on this has some very authoritative citations from the BMJ, Lancet, Centre for Disease Control, Australian Institute for Clinical Excellence etc etc ad nauseam which are worth a read.

Really??? But the ones in hospitals do?

Tyel Don't go away...I need to pump you for information

I meant I would go away and stop hectoring you and leave you to make your own mind up I'm not going anywhere really, I've procrastinated all day and see no reason why I should stop now!

I actually know a lot about this because I grew up in HK and we lived through the mass cull of birds from bird flu and the fear of SARS and learned about virus protection at school.

Hand sanitizers are worth using because they're effective for bacteria and some viruses. However you have to recognise their limitations - they're only effective in proportion to the alcohol concentration in them, ideally as much as possible. The highest concentrations are usually available only in a hospital environment - Purell, for example, is only 65% alcohol. That won't help with most viruses like the common cold (rhinovirus) and flu.

The other thing is that hand sanitizers work against things that are able to live on your hands (like bacteria and viruses that have an outer envelope) but many viruses survive only minutes on your skin but much longer on other surfaces, eg. clothes so unless you're changing into sterile clothes as well like a surgeon does, wearing gloves and a mask like we do in Asia when on public transport, etc, hand sanitizer won't do much to reduce your risk of infection from viruses like flu, norovirus etc.

The best thing is really to get the jab - the research has been done, controlled trials show it works. The second best thing is to wear a mask and gloves on public transport but people really look at you funny if you do that in the UK - luckily they don't in Asia!! And finally, the last thing is to wash your hands regularly and thoroughly with soap rubbing with your fingers interlaced and under your nails (just like on TV!), use a hand sanitizer for bacteria and the proportion of viruses it does help with, and don't touch your eyes, nose and mouth if you can avoid it. And move as far away from someone coughing or who looks ill if at all possible.

So anyway, talk to your doc if you're concerned - I actually initially put a comment about being shocked at what your MW said too but deleted it to avoid offending you in case you agreed with your MW!!

We've gone for the Maclaren Techno XT, purely because I want something that will last until it's old enough to walk, something I can fold easily on the bus & DH can push about without feeling like a berk. I don't get travel systems (or isofix seats for that matter), if it ain't broke, don't fix it!.

Tyel, britax do a seat fit finder, don't know about other companies!

kri5ty, I know Tesco are doing the flu jab for £10, but their website says nothing about it, Boots mention it too but don't mention if they'll give/not give it to pregnant women...

thanks awch...after superdrug refusing me today, my next stop is boots, tesco, sanisburys, asda and lloyds!

Its the same jab... i dont understand why gps will give it but some pharmacies wont!