December 2011 - Support tights time!

[BeeMyBaby]

Had no idea what to call it, sorry. Just googled third trimester and that was the recommendation...

Congrats Fairy. Hope all continues to go well for you and lovely little Albert. It must be a stressful time for you as well as an exciting one, so I hope you are feeling okay.

Bristol is so lovely Tyel, esp. in the sun - perfect weekend for your babymoon!

Figgy seriously you should be THRILLED you've stayed the same and not had to buy new bras every couple of months. Hassle and expense and I am convinved my boobs are not going to shrink down nicely but will be all shrivelled like deflated balloons

Thanks for all of your kind messages of congratulations and concern.

It's a strange one really because obviously I'm really glad to meet Albert and overjoyed to be a mum, but on the other hand i'd liked it if he had stayed put where he could have grown safely and at the end of it could take him home as normal.

at first i was thinking 'why are people congratulating me, tellng me well done, when i haven't done my job properly, when it would have been better for Albert to have arrived when he was supposed to. But i guess what are people supposed to say?

on the positive side, I didn't get the stretch marks, the discomfort of the last few months, the pain of labour, and so on.

On the negative side, i didn't get the full experience of pregnancy, instead i got an incredibly scary day culminating in a whirlwind of an operation, and a heartbreakingfew days on a ward with other women who had their babies next to them while mine was in a special ward on the other side of the hospital. Yes i had my own room, but i could still see and hear the babies. I don't get to bring my baby home for another 7 weeks, i can't breastfeed him yet and i cry everytime i have leave him behind.

But at the end of the day, he is here, he is healthy and I'm choosing to look at the positives over the negatives because it could have been much, much worse.

Re: boobs - the blue lines on the increased cleavage are not particularly attractive either! And at first, they were full and firm and rather fabulous, but now I fear that the non-wired bras will not be winning any best-supporting-act prizes.

fairy you'll have us all in tears!
It must be so tough, and it must have been so scary, but the worst is over and now you have your gorgeous boy who will get bigger and stronger every day, and who will be home soon. Lots of love and best wishes to you both.

My goodness, FairyBayLeaf, congratulations on a safe delivery! That must have been quite a shock, for him to have come so early!

Yes, please don't dwell on the negatives. If he came early, perhaps it was an emergency decision by your body, feeling something going wrong, and determined to get him out - where he would be safer - before the placenta could fail, or something like that. He is still with you, was not "born sleeping" (in the heartbreaking terminology of the stillbirth family), and is taking milk.

fairy Use us to rant as much as possible and am glad you are looking at the positives.

fairy we're congratulating you because you brought a beautiful baby into the world. Don't take it the wrong way but people don't care how he arrived, all that matters is that he's here. You couldn't have done anything differently, they obviously done an EMCS because it was the best option for Albert.

I also agree with plu. It's completely not the same but when I had pre-eclampsia with DS I went into labour naturally at 35+5, 2 days before I was going to be induced. I wish I couldve gone full term but I like to think that my body took control and decided to get him out before my placenta failed and killed him.

No failure there at all fairy he's safe, and by the sounds of it learning to thrive. Job well done in my eyes. Here's to the day you can snuggle properly and take him home:)

^Wot they all said fairy. Sorry it was such a bad day for you.
Here's to Albert coming home and making up for lost time asap .

seven, that really made me shudder. I know the ruthlessness of our bodies produces heartache when it is a first-trimester miscarriage, but it's so good to know that that ruthlessness saves, too.

Incidentally, I have been trying to find the source for this for ages (I think it was Stephen Pinker's "Genome" but just can't find it in the text), but I believe the placenta acts as the father's representative in the womb, protecting the foetus from most miscarriages after it forms (after the first trimester) and of course at the end of pregnancy the mother's body can sometimes sense if the placenta is about to fail and take action then, too. It's so comforting to think of pregnancy as a relay, with both parents striving to nurture and protect the little life, even if each "representative" is sometimes forcing the other!

Off to bed now. Sweet dreams, all, and a restful night, free of aches and pains!

Wow Fairy that is big news. Hope you are doing okay given what you've been through over last few days.

On the positive side, he sounds like he is doing really well - sending love and hugs.

fairy Adding my congratulations, it sounds as though Albert (great name!) is doing really well. If you need any pumping/breastfeeding (when you get there) support pm me.

Is it possible to start bf weeks after birth, msbuggywinkle? Wow.

fairy another offer of help with pumping/bfing when you get there.

plu the suck reflex doesn't develop until 34? weeks and you have to wait until the baby can tolerate milk as the gut is often immature so until then you have to express every 3 hours day and night.

P.s. I could have written your earlier post when DS arrived 2 years ago. We spent 16 weeks in HDU with a couple of trips back into ICU and had some hairy times. I really do identify with what you are going through so please do let me know if you want a chat.

P.p.s. I said congrats because with DS no one really said it to us and it felt like we hadn't really had him/we weren't proper parents.

I am the pelvic floor demon fairy, come to remind you to squeezzzeeee.
I hate it I hate it I hate it!
I can't do it.
I don't want to.
moan whinge moan whinge boo hiss!

Thanks for the reminder Oi - will do them as I sit here working today.

I'm working from home (AGAIN) because my hips were just too painful to walk when I got out of bed this morning. At my last appointment the MW said I was just feeling the strain of pregnancy and it was normal, weight of the pregnancy on the skeleton etc, so don't overexert myself etc etc.

Since that last appointment at 28 weeks it has got a lot worse. Turning over in bed is torture - even DH can hear my pelvis and hips clicking - feel burning pain down the front of my pelvis. Walking hurts, moving my hips in their sockets hurts, putting on leggings or tights is agony. I went onto the wiki page for PGP and it's like reading a catalogue of almost everything I'm feeling!! Thank goodness I have my 31 week appointment with the GP (though it will actually be on the day I'm 32 weeks) - I am going to print out the list of symptoms and tick off the ones I'm feeling.

Anyway it also says that on average women with PGP are signed off for between 7 and 12 weeks - so if work start getting funny with me for working from home a day or two each week I will just get myself signed off completely and it will be their loss!! [EGO]

PS I'm pretty sure that one of the reasons I had such a wonderful time in Bristol this past weekend was that I spent multiple hours total bobbing about in the pool and the giant hot tub at the spa on Saturday - that must have really helped because I felt like a limber gambolling lamb for the rest of the weekend. I wonder if many hours in hot tubs can be prescribed on the NHS for PGP!?

Tyel get the doc to refer you to a physiotherapist. I was really impressed with their thoroughness - it wasn't about bending me about and showing exercises, as I had assumed. She assessed my pelvis and spine to look for misalignment/any other problems.
(Wear your cleanest, biggest knickers! - Luckily I was wearing brand new cotton shorts, so my lardy arse derriere was suitably hidden.)
PGP may be "normal" in pregnancy, but there's no reason why you should suffer with it, without any help!
And the best exercise for strengthening your pelvis is... Pelvic floor exercises - GROAN! (and figure 8's and gentle thrusts on your gym ball). There are also some lower tummy exercises - imagine sucking in your lower tummy gently... that's all I can remember, I haven't got the leaflet with me, sorry.
(BTW Hot tubs are supposedly banned when pg, but it's complete balderdash IMO - as long as the water isn't boiling and you're not over-heating, I am sure it is bliss.)

Hot tubs are banned!? So THAT explains the two women with cats bum faces I got when I got in! I thought they were just wanting the 10 person hot tub all to themselves Hilarious! And yes it was total bliss - the water was exactly 36c according to the readout thingy, which IIRC is the temperature at which a birthing pool is supposed to be kept.

Thanks for the info on the physio - I didn't know about that, I will demand to be referred to one when I see the GP on Thursday. I must admit I'm really worried they'll say it's because I've put too much weight on because that's what my DMother who is obsessed with my weight at the best of times has been saying all along, even before I had a bump. I've been snarling back at her saying that the MWs have said my weight gain is totally normal, non-harmful - but if I find out I've given myself PGP by putting on too much weight and not doing enough exercise because it hurts like a bitch I will be very, very chagrined.

re boobs i havent been measured since pregnancy... ooops. They have def grown, but i have just not been wearing a bra, bad idea as i can see them drooping now! So i will take myself to be measured, but im not sure where. Im normally just an Asda girl (unless i want something special), do you think m&s are more likely to have similar sizes to asda?

plu my maternity would have started 2 weeks later than it is now, so its not too bad

fairy I said congrats on the other thread... like everyone we are sending you all the love in the world. It must be very painful leaving him. But dont feel like you didnt do your job properly, you kept him safe during the time he was inside you :o

Tyel generally I think water is considered too hot if it turns your skin red; I love a hot bath though & I haven't stopped them completely I just don't stay in very long & I drink lots of cool water afterwards. You don't want to raise your core temp too much as you can't get rid of heat while in a hot tub & it's even hotter for LO. Don't worry about it though, it's generally only considered a complete no-no in the 1st trimester. :)

kri5ty, tbh I'd stick with Asda bras (the sports bras are so very comfortable right now)!
M&S have gone really downhill in the last few years (not to mention I'm a different size in every feckkin M&S bra I have bought), and the fitters just don't seem to have a clue; everytime I've been fitted in M&S (why on earth I keep going back in I have no clue!) they've been 2 cup sizes out at least.
I'm buying bras so often that it's a waste to spend anymore than £5/6 at Tesco on them.

Sorry you're having a crap day Tyel! Good luck at the GP's on Thursday!

DH has been telling me to take it easy this week, instead of leading the crazy fast paced life of a housewife(!) but it's just so hard to; 1. Sit around and do nothing (daytime tv is really really shite), 2. Get comfortable.
I've given up exercise too (which is a big thing for me as I like to work out 4/5 days a week) so can just feel myself turning into a fat blob; don't know how accurate the muscle mass % on scales are for pg women but I've apparently already dropped 8% muscle mass since getting pg!

I'd agree with buying supermarket bras where possible. They are similar quality as the M&S cottons, and we don't know how long they will fit us for as our sizes may constantly change over the next few months.
I bought two "nice" maternity/nursing bras - a black and a white to see me through - but I just find anything lacy really itchy/irritating after a few hours.

RE DH's and taking it easy: I received an email from one of the baby sites yesterday, saying that at this stage we should avoid excessive bending, standing, etc - so try and sit down whilst cooking, ironing etc, don't step over things/straddle things - walk around instead, don't lift heavy things, etc., etc. I read it out to DH, and to each item he said, "I can do that", "I'll do that".
Five minutes later I was bending down to get things out of the fridge to cook dinner, standing cooking dinner, bending down to empty the dish washer, putting dishes away, etc etc., whilst he sat and read his book. Stomp stomp stomp, he was totally oblivious. Only at the very end, as I'd taken knives and forks through, and was getting ready to serve dinner did he come in to help.
Grrrrrrrr!!!

oimissus most of those things are avoidable, I bet you won't find any pregnant women that can completely avoid bending, lifting, standing etc. You can try to be as careful as possible but we still have busy lives and things that need to be done.

I remember being so precious in my first pregnancy, this time I'm just getting on with it. I'm helping with a street collection at the end of the month so that'll involve standing on the street for about 5 hours, I'm hoping being heavily pregnant will earn sympathy money! Also DS still can't really walk so I'm currently carrying a 27lb child everywhere!

I agree it's not worth spending loads on maternity bras this late into pregnancy, we'll all be growing again right at the end and needing bigger nursing bras.

No, seven, you are carrying a 27lb child AND a baby AND amniotic fluid! That standing in the street does sound a strain. Are you sure you can't get out of the full five hours? Even getting a back-up would help. You don't want to end up like poor Tyelperion!

Tyelperion, that sounds ghastly; please demand a physio appointment. You don't want to strain yourself until you're so out of whack that even giving birth doesn't sort your problems out.