January 2012 - Thread 3

[ParsleyLion1]

And we're back......

fish well that's one thing we don't have to consider, anyway, since I earn bubkiss to start with. I just don't understand it. DH has a PhD, he should be raking it in, but round here what he's on is just about a living wage. Could you do what you do from home, at all? I became self-employed because people were happier to pay a sub-contractor than take on a whole extra employee in this climate. It's not ideal, but it's better than nothing.

I don't want loads of money. I don;t want expensive holidays or clothes or jewellery or to eat out. I just want to not be worrying constantly about whether we'll be able to afford petrol or somewhere to live.

cakes if this wasn't MN I'd give you a hug. As it is, how about a ?

Some rental places do allow pets so you could look into that - even if they say otherwise in the advert, if they're struggling to let the place then they may agree subject to you providing a professional clean on departure. I know what you mean though - it would be awful to think about giving up my two beasts (even if one of them has practically moved out, must be some old biddy feeding her as she never eats at home. who feeds a cat with a collar FGS?)

A cuppa would be lovely. In fact, I think I might go make one. I'm so English.

Ooo fish I think we might live close, unless you live just outside the other side of worcester!

Were St johns side addicted but hey it's relative, youre probably quite close anyways x

Sounds like we may meet for a buggy push by the river one day then :)

mum2be from what I remember of last time it was just a scan, longer than the 12 weeks scan and we had everything explained at the end - all the checks of all the organs to see if everything looks ok. I guess if you're having the anti-D then a MW will probably see you afterwards and explain it all to you before giving it, they will probably need to do this to make sure they have consent for the injection. Good luck, I hope it all goes well. Very exciting!

cakes I really feel for you. I do think though there is never a 'right time' to have a baby if that makes sense because I know personally we are always trying to get into a better financial position. we still have so many debts to pay off and I will get no maternity pay so it just means interest will keep mounting and we'll be broke forever. But I'm sure if we waited that something else wouldn't be right. Things are just impossible for first time buyers at the moment because the deposit required is just crazy, I can't imagine many people have that much in savings. And I know it's hard not being able to share money worries with DP when they're the main earner, I want to talk about all the things I'm worried about with him so many times but I hold myself back because I know he doesn't need that extra pressure from me too. Your neighbour sounds like a nightmare though. I hope you are feeling better after your nice cup of tea! Sorry but I can only offer you hugs, no magic solution :(

Thank you ChocaMum. I think Peanut is going to be a little lazy like me because since Tuesday night until an hour ago, I hadn't felt movement. I got a definite kick (a little one!) in my lower abdomen which has calmed me slightly.

fish I know you said you don't get anything in benefits but have you checked when little one arrives? My friend/colleague is a teacher (more money than me) and husband is a supervisor in a factory and they get some help in tax credits (I think that's the one!). It may not be much but it will be something. I think her household combined wage is approx £50,000. I think you'll get some help when your combined household income is less than £55,000. Sorry if I am being a little too nosey.

Thanks guys - the tea did help, as did doing something practical (making dinner) rather than work which is very sedentary and all brain work, which can be a bit overwhelming.

Hi ladies, had 18 (16)weeks appt today and it was all fine despite a rather long wait - heard baby's heartbeat so that was reassuring, got the scan in 2 weeks when back from hols - looking forward to it now.

Sorry to hear you've been feeling stressed about money cakes, it's not a nice place to be and I hope you are feeling better. You are clearly an intelligent and creative woman I'm really sure you will find a solution. You're are baking the most important bun of your life right now so be kind to yourself and believe in yourself and your DH - you will get there

Hope everyone else OK. I am very behind having taken the DCs out today and we are meant to be going away tomorrow. Will just have to get up early as far too tired for packing now. (so lazy )

Mum2be, thats encouraging to know, we very much definately come in well under 50k a year-just over half that in fact, so maybe we will get some help. Were calculating on worst case scenarios right now though-with me earning zero in any way-so anything we do get in benefits/tax credits will be a bonus.

Our biggest problem is debt- like you choca we have had to say to hell with it i'm 37 now, we really couldn't wait any longer. I do kind of regret the decison on bad days, thinking perhaps we should have stuck to one child, but either way I would have lost my job last month, so we'd still be in this situation. The only thing thats different is that I have a damn good reason to be unemployed!

Just nipped on to say just how much am loving having a baby doppler as reassurance that bubs is ok.....am NOT as addicted to it as I had thought i would be...just once a day and just long enough to check in that bubs' heartbeat is loud and clear...would so recommend it to anyone that is as much of a worrier as I have been this pregnancy...

Bought a 2nd hand quinny today...full pram, pushchair, maxicosi carseat and special surefix style clamp thingy for car seat...raincovers, cosytoes etc etc,,,£280...am hoping this is a bargain...know it retails for over £900 new but can't justify spending that much!! Had an e-bay disaster with maternity dress though...looked really smart in photo but when got it was washed out more grey than black linen dress...good job was only just under a fiver including postage!!!

Big scan next week...v v v tempted to find out gender but know i wld struggle to keep it a secret and dh (overseas so not at scan) doesnt want to know!!! DS wants to call baby 'george'...too 'peppa piggy' for me though so need time to prepare him for different name if indeed it is a boy!!!

Am well and truly overeating too...whoooops...we are talking round after round of cheese toasties then a what the hell have a twix and some chocolate as well.....

Ah! I too am on a shockingly piss-poor wage, thouh DH isn't on a bad wage, so, if the limit's 50k odd I might qualify for somethign too! Good news!

debs I had a friend that was expecting a 'George'...but got a 'Georgiana' and thought about 'Georgia'...so, well...there are possibilities! Well doneon the bargain hunting too! Good luck with the scan too. Can't wait for mine.

I'm a little not worrying at all as it's irrational and everythings fine, yeah, worrying. Yolkis had a very active Monday and Tuesday, and then only a few nerfs (literally 2 or 3) yesterday and only a few today, though I can feel some, what I assume is Yolkis (or it's the tapeworm again) squiggles right now. I've been feeling a littel bunged up (despite yogs and prune jiuce). The frequency is just sooo much less than Mon/Tues. I suspect Yolkis has just moved a bit further back, so I'm not feeling it as much, but grr!!! Nagging paranoia's there...

As for food, I'm still at a net loss (2lb) for weight and am just so tired still I'm worried I'm not eating enough (as well as dizzy, but that's the 2nd trimester). MW wasn't that worried and said I was eating healthily, but didn't weigh me or ask very much. I'm probably eating less than prepg, but then I didn't have the healthiest diet prepg and that probably explained why I'm overweight. I'm blaming Yolkis' love of fruit and dislike of cake...can't be good for you, surely!

20wk scans: from what I can tell, at 20wk scan if they seen anything untoward they ARE meant to tell you that there is 'cause for concern' and should call in someone to talk to you, if not, will get you an urgent referral (as in today/tomorrow). As far as I'm aware, that's it. Everything else is meant to happen at your 24/25wks appointment. Though if they're combining the 2 they will confirm the results of the scan and it would be at this point they'd give you the anti-D (unless you've had a fall/bleeding, in which case they should top it up regularly/give you it earlier), as well as talking about antenatal classes, birth choices (again) etc. They shoudl measure your bump too. But then I've not done one before...this is a combo of what my nhs book says and waht my SILs had...(one had her first Anti-D at this piont).

debs my favourite work skirt went grey after too many washes so I bought black fabric dye and it was extremely successful - came up like brand new and has lasted really well. Aside from where the rubber glove leaked and I stained my hand black . would highly recommend trying it with your linen dress too; just don't get the dye on your skin!

cheers ghost!! Will get some tomorrow!!!

Am now regretting have a 3 hr snooze this afternoon...wide awake..................and tempted to eat,,,not hungry...just being a bored greedy nutella eating monster.......

Just been on another thread and one of the girls has started m/c ing.....makes me panic again that i still have 21 wks 3 days of worry before bubs is here....( because I had spd with ds and my lower back is twinging already, consultant has said they will def induce me at 40wks...midwife even said that she would give me a sweep earlier if i ahem came and told her i was having niggly early labour pains....)

sorry to hear about people worrying about jobs and £££...my poor hubby's firm is going under...his boss fled the country before his debtors foreclosed ( as where he is this means that a block is put on your passport ) so not only is hubby working and more or less 99.9% def not going to get paid, he is stuck overseas and we have to find airfare to get him and belongings home and then the little problem of finding work as well...hey ho....glad i got that cheap 2nd hand buggy rather than the brand new bugaboo i had my heart set on...

Bah. Mood swing city. Just like PMT - anxious, tearful, craving chocolate. Just spent ten minutes sobbing over DH for no reason til he had to go to work I'm such a mess.

Hope you're all doing significantly better than me today.

cakes have one of these with me . sorry you still not feeling any better. What have you got planned for today?

Going to go and see a woman I met at my bums and babies group... not entirely sure if it's social or networking... a combination of both hopefully as I could do with the work she might be able to put my way. Other than that it's more work I wish we could afford for me to be a kept woman ;)

Why is it that any of you lot suggest a MN cup of tea I have to go make myself one for real? It's some kind of Pavlovian response! :)

Hi all! Gosh you miss a day and have a lot to catch up on ay? Nice work!

Not much to update with really. Have my 16 check with MW on Tuesday. My SPD/PGP has reared it's ugly head so will be bringing that up I will!

Bump has grown loads in the last few days and my 'extra padding' is making me look way more pregnant than I am!

Oeisha I just weighed myself and am finally back up to my prepg weight after losing 7lbs through sickness. I too ate crap prepg so wasn't too concerened. I'm sure you'll get it back later in your pregnancy

Bums and babies Cakes?! That's an odd mix!

cakes Let me know how it goes with the bums and babies :P i'd love to know what you talk about in that group nappies and cellulite?

Not been to any groups this time, got enough bloomin friends (anyone who's listening in, I love you all of course :)) I'm lucky enough to have my best mate with a preschooler, (woohoo waves @ madameboo, love you) all my 8 NCT mates all of which are on thier DC2's by now, another close friend who is 26 wks, my sister who is 20 wks and another friend who is 22 weeks. Phew, I may not have money but I do have dear friends who have been a constant support to me.

I am feeling a lot brighter today, we have done our budget and although depressing theres little we can do to change it, we just gotta start living it, were not as skint as some and for that I should be grateful. I am seeing psych nurse today an appointment which I am hopeful about and again theres very little I can do to change anything yet, I dont have to make any decisions yet so it is all back in control for the moment.

I hear ya on the mood swings too cakes I reckon thats whats been up with me, i'm all over the place. Ready to kill and cry two days ago and now I am all loved up with DH and DD and feeling ...shhh...happy maybe :)

Goodness Debs your worries eclipse mine, at least my DH comes home every night.

Jeez - one little typo... ;)

fish - so glad it's not just me. Some of the time I'm just so happy and content, but people seem to expect me to feel like that all the time, so when you're having a down day it can all feel like a bit too much. I'm going to ignore MN protocol and offer a of solidarity. Right. time to get my knickers on and good luck to bun with the MW

This really does seem to be a stressful time for many of us at the moment.

I think I am relatively well off with no past traumas to deal with and a roof over my head, though our mortgage repayments are also going through the roof given the crazy exchange rate fluctuations (we are in Poland and until last year the Swiss france was the most stable currency to have a mortgage in, so we did, and now with the weird things that are happening to the economy our repayments are up around 30% and rising all the time).

I am self-employed which means no maternity pay except the national minimum (=approx 100quid a month for 6 mths) and no entitlement to extended maternity leave. THis basically means that as in both of my previous pregnancies I have to get back in front of the comp as soon as I can sit upright again after birth, at least for a couple of hours a day. This is easy enough when baby is tiny but gets a bit more difficult after about 3 mths when they start being more alert.

Luckily DH s earning well at the moment but he is also self-employed on paper (though acting tech director of a sort of start-up) and if their venture fails, which it may or may not, then that's us fucked. Oh and the fact that he's working 12-14 hrs a day does put a strain on him and I would really love him to be able to get a job where he earns slightly less but is not under so much stress.

But hey, I try not to think that much ahead. Like you say, fish, this is really the last moment for a baby, and somehow things will be OK (British stiff upper lip!).

One more thing, I keep meaning to say Oeisha I think we must be from the same neck of the woods. You keep talking about Stockport - I went to school in Stockport (SGS), my mum lives in the Peak District. I'm off to see her with my girls at the end of Aug - whereabouts are you?

Anyway, back to work... Hugs and to all!

Swiss franc of course... doh!

Wow, fish you sound a lot more positive fabulous!! Have a good day all, I've got to get off here as meant to be packing for a week away with the DC's leaving in 2hrs and not at all ready, so disorganised, walking round in circles forgetting what I was meant to be doing. Cakes have a good day - hope you have fun AND get some business out of your meeting! bun have good MW session and don't worry I too have extra padding round the middle (for which I blame the first 2 DCs!) and bump bigger than you might expect as well as SPD also starting up this week. Which is a worry as there is ages to go..will just have to be careful about not picking up heavy DCs as I think that is what set it off on Monday!

Eurgh hormones: The work of the devil. I just want to cry and sleep.

Sorry so many of you are having rough times, hopefully once these babies are here things will fall into place. I don't think there is ever a 'right time' for a baby, I am desperate to buy a property we can call our own. But there's no way we can do that until I'm working again, which is obviously put back 18 months now.

My positive spin is that, I've been doing some research and once this baby is here I qualify for financial support towards the Open University, so I plan to start a course while I'm still at home with dc2 (ooh 1st time I've typed that :)) which will hopefully stand me in better stead for a decent paid job.

Is anyone else still throwing up at nearly 20 weeks?? It's 9:40am and it's been 3 times already this morning!

1 week until 20 week scan, so looking forward to seeing Baby Chick again. Is anyone having a 4d scan?

Ooh I finally caved in yesterday and bought two newborn long sleeved 'little roo' bodysuits and some scratch mitts :) and cleared out a drawer in our dresser to keep them in.

Right, if you were a three year old where would you have hidden the remote control??