First-timers due December - new thread!

[mopsytop]

Had to start a new thread, as our old one got too big to post anymore.
yay figgy - your scan sounds great! A wee boy - now you only have to think about boy names. Woohoo.

No one has discussed labour with me either yet (29+5). I'm guessing that all comes with the Parent classes (mine start on 18th October, 4 x 2hr classes with the NHS - one a week). And I think it's then that you get the tour and info about the hospital. It does seem really late. I think they should give us a pack when we first discover we are pregnant with all the possible options in there, so we can explore ideas like hypnobirthing, birthpools, and get more info on pain relief options. - To do hypnobirthing, for example, you have to start weeks in advance. My last class is 9th Nov - in my 36th week - what if GingerBaby arrives early??!

Fairy I got my cords at mama's and papas. They are awesome...coz they are super skinny but with a massive elastic band

Northern I know! Thanksfully my GP is fantastic. She is in her mid 30s as well and quite friendly. Just ridiculous that we are all first time mums and no one is discussing this stuff with us.

Sorelip / Oimissus I can't believe everything happens so late! What if you do the tour and hate the hospital... too late to change! Plus... this means you are stressed all the way into your 3rd tri... because no one has bothered to explain what you are in for! I have not managed to book any classes with my hospital and have been told to call after the 3rd of October - just to book. Thank god that I booked NCT classes... although they only start on 15 november... I'll be 35 weeks!

lala I love M&P's maternity clothes - got most of my (meagre) supply there.
I had to book my NHS classes months ago, as they get filled up so fast. Is weird the way it is different from town to town. Noone has even mentioned birth to me, and when I asked the midwife should I visit the maternity hospital before she was like, no er why? I thought that was an odd response. I mean, surely it would be normal to want to see where you were giving birth before it happened? I will be going there for the antenatal classes anyway though so will ask about a tour then.

I was thinking of a homebirth, but DH is worried about that. I don't want a sterile environment where I'm bossed around, etc. Midwife told me to call a number and book myself on a tour, so that I could assess the hospital. I did that at 18 weeks because I was told that I'd need to let them know.
I was barely showing at that stage and in with a group of ladies who were ready to drop. I had quite a few questions about resources, etc., so I'm glad I went. No one else had any questions, I think at that stage you are already very vulnerable, very tired, and do as your told. The earlier you do the tour, the less you'll be beaten into submission.
Incidentally, I told the MW at the next appt that I'd consider a pool birth at the hospital, she scribbled it on to my notes, didn't cross out homebirth, and it certainly hasn't been recorded anywhere else. We have time yet to change our minds.

There is a MLU at my hospital, where you have minimal intervention and there are some birthing pools also and each room has comfy chairs, birthing balls, ropes to pull on (that sounds weird, but there is like a sort of thick bit of material hanging down over a chair so you can pull on it ... not explaining very well, but think might be helpful in labour), adjustable lighting etc. so that sounds okay to me. It's the scary labour ward I want to avoid if I can, but I think if you have an epidural or anything, you have to go up there. I saw a video of it on the hospital website, so maybe check out your local hospital website and see if there is something similar?

Yeah... well I have seen a video of the delivery suites on site. Apparently Queen Charlotte does not do tours as they don't want to disturb the women in the hosp. Which is fine... I just want to be able to ask about the facilities, visiting hours etc etc. Everyone keeps saying it is one of the best hospitals in London...but I just want someone to talk to me about what I can expect.

Finally my hubby called the hospital yesterday and we were told that visiting hours are from 9:00 - 1:00 and then 3:00 - 8:00 even for partners! And then we can get a pvt room for £200 if available but he still can't stay. However if the room for £470.00 is available then he can stay there! WTF???

I'm down for a homebirth (was asked about at booking apt, made all the Dr/MW's I've spoken too very happy OiMissus, DH was worried, as was MIL, about a homebirth for the first, but all the MW's have been really supportive of the idea & said it's as safe & much more comfortable for the woman).
MW hasn't mentioned much about hospitals to me (other than, just phone if you want a tour), she has been pushing me to do antenatel class (2hrs, one time) which I really don't want to do (argued with DH that women have been having kids for years without classes on how to breathe)!

AWCH... see I am the opposite I really want to do the classes because I want to understand what to expect while I am still rational rather than in the throws of labour!

Although given that thinking about this is so stressful... it might just be better to not think or do classes at all!!!

Apart from asking where I wanted to have baby nothing about birth discussed since expecting it would be covered at ante natal. I can do a ward tour they run them every 2 weeks on a Wednesday at 2pm not very work friendly unfortunately.

They have finally advertised my maternity cover today scary stuff.

The one thing that seems to hold true is that there's such variation across the country! I was asked about birth options at my very first proper MW appointment, around 12 weeks, and it's always been discussed. Tours are weekly at our hospital- agreed figgy, rather crappy time of 3pm on a Tuesday- but we only get one all day ante-natal class.

We did the tour yesterday, and I'd really recommend it to everyone. It made me feel more comfortable, knowing where I'd be going, what it was like, what the various facilities/wards were (there were about four or five gradations of ward depending on level of care needed,and then the four or so different type of labour wards for all the different types of delivery)...although we were chucked out of the labour room we were in because a woman was stretchered in, with ambulance staff, honking on gas and air and properly in labour!

We've got the same visiting times lala, I thought they'd be longer too. But the cost of your rooms !! I found out an 'amenity' room at our local hospital is £65 per night, so that will definitely be my Xmas prezzie to myself!

yup no one has actually talked about labour with me... i booked on to a tour, but its not until mid december! also i booked the classes, but id be 37 weeks so i cancelled and booked nct!!

i just want a tour now, not when im about to drop!!

Ooo on a brighter note i finished the nursery and put piccies on here :o

Well, look on the bright side kri5ty, at least if you do into labour you'll be in the right place and be able to give all the others on the tour an excellent lesson...
I think OiMissus has it right- you can't start too early with this stuff- it's important, and there is so much choice about how to give birth where, and just so much to take in, that the earlier the better. You can't make an informed choice if they won't give you half the info.

Given that we get swamped with sodding Bounty stuff from the moment we conceive, you think they'd sort out birthing options and hospital tours.

And loving the giraffes too kir5ty!

I've ended up with a slight sheep theme by accident...

Love the giraffes - you look very organised kristy!! Yikes!
And I like the idea of gamboling lambs and sheep frolickery, northern!
I haven't started yet. :(

The nursery will start when we sell our house and get a new one. No point starting til then. :(

kri5ty, that looks amazing!! I want a jungle room now , I wanted to get the Squatter pirate themed stuff (like the moses basket bedding etc), but MIL doesn't think 'pirates are suitable for a baby'.
Guess what theme I'll be decorating Squatters bedroom in (we're not decorating until it moves out of our bedroom, seems like a waste to get it all nice now, and not have LO in there for 6 months).

lala! I know Queen Charlottes is a great hospital (I was born in the old one!), in London but sweet baby jesus! You'd be better off just booking into the Park Lane Hilton & getting the midwife to come there with those prices .

I'm 27wks today (that's deffo 3rd trimester, right?)...10 weeks to full term & it's just hit me again!! A bloody baby, that belongs to me! Pass the (decaf)

why aren't Pirates suitable?? Hasn't she heard of Captain Pugwash?! (She will have, you younger gels may not!
I think friendly pirates sound like loads of fun!

Congrats on 27 weeks today - that's definitely T3. I feel like every week is a milestone.
I'll be 30 weeks on Friday. It's really not far to go now - and just think about how quickly time has flown already! :)
I can't wait.
(I certainly can't wait to finish work! I sent in my complaint today to the CEO saying how crap our family friendly policy is, and how we are not "Respecting diversity" as our Values state... So I may finish earlier than expected! ... to explain, I'm on the Executive management board, and i've worked bloody hard to get here - all very nice - but I'm the main wage earner in my family, and the co gives the legal minimum maternity support - so I'll be on £128 a week for 12 weeks. I can't support my family on that. so the rules are sexist. of course it doesn't matter what my position is in the co - the rules should be changed for all, but I needed to emphasise that the other members of teh exec team are the main wage earners and their wives stay at home to bring up their families - I don't have that option. - and I don't have their wages either, but that's a separate point!)

AWCH your post made me laugh out loud! I can't agree more... maybe I really should opt for a Park Lane Hilton birth :) I wouldn't even need a birthing pool coz I could just have the baby in the tub Northern I a, so jealous... I would happily pay £65... but at £470... if I end up in hospital for 4 nights thats 2 GRAND!!!

Initially I was thinking about getting an epidural but I seem to be more and more drawn to natural thing now... if nothing else so I can check myself out of the hospital within 6 hours! I haven't reached the home birth stage yet...still want to be near some medical professionals just in case.

Kri5ty your nursery looks adorable. It is so cute!!!

Oimissus Your policy really is crap! good on you for making a complaint!!! I am so cynical that i have doubts about anyone making changes that cost the co more money in the interest of "Values." Although... at least your co has values... I work for a bank and we don't even bother pretending!!!

For nursery design inspiration, look at these beauties. If my P45 does come through, I'll go and find scraps of material and see what I can rustle up with the sewing machine. Gorgeous. :)

That's a point - does anyone know how early you can leave hospital after your first baby? I am determined not to spend a single night in a postnatal ward.

It's been amazing, the number of female colleagues around my age, who haven't yet had kids, whose faces have just FALLEN when I tell them what the statutory maternity pay is. The amount is still based on the 1970s 'hubbie main earner, wifey may need to replace pin money' assumption which is pretty outdated. Does anyone even know how it applies to gay couples for example?!

The vast majority of women work, and lots of households depend on two incomes. I'm like you AWCH main earner, and thank God that my employer offers the 90% full pay, and then another three months at 50% pay plus the SMP. Otherwise we'd be screwed. It's one of the reasons that I'm going back after four and a half months and my OH is taking the other half of my maternity leave (which he's rather looking forward to).

Sorelip- we were told that depending on your/the baby's state, you can leave after six hours. The only condition our hospital puts on it is that the baby is feeding well from bottle or breast. Have to say though, after reading that thread, I was somewhat comforted by the visit to the hospital, it didn't seem quite as horrific...

I'm lucky that I get 12 weeks full pay before down to SMP trying to save as much as I can so can stay off a bit longer at the other end, am thinking will go back to work in June and do a few keep in touch days for extra money before I go back.

I was told that if u have an epidural you not let out for 12 hours so they can monitor you but that might just be my hospital. My SIL had niece at 7am and was out by 1pm same day I think that's fairly typical if no complications.

Oooh, that is good figgy.

It really is so dependent on how the birth went, but as long as you're fit, and the baby's fine, and you've had your paperwork done you can go (even without, from what some have said).

It'll be really interesting to compare notes after we've all had safe landings, just to see how it worked out for a bunch of first timers.

I feel sorry for all of you with rubbish maternity, I am extremely lucky... 6 months full pay then 3 months half pay... only reason I have stayed with the company is so I can take advantage of the maternity benefits! There views on my reduced hours going back to work is a total different story though!

My friend was out in 6 hours with her first, no complications etc, they wouldn't let her out until baby had been fed though, and she couldn't get the hang of breastfeeding that quickly so she gave him formula then tried at home