Fat and fertile-were not 2nd class citizens. A support thread

[fishandlilacs]

I want to start a support thread for pregnant women with a high BMI. My BMI is currently 38. Last pregnancy it was 36, in between times my BMI went up to 41 but then I started a weight loss programme and lost over 2 stone-I was heading for more when I found myself here, pregnant, happy about it and feeling quite well thank you.

It wasn't my intention to be this fat and pregnant but cest la vie. This thread is not about arguing about it and I have no wish to hear from anyone who feels they may flame for being in this position.

My consultant has made me feel like a 2nd class citizen, I was told I was "bound to develop gestattional diabetes" last pregnancy and I didn't. This time the same old story.

If youre in the same position and want to chat about it or rant and rave then please join here.

Oops, Sarah, not Sara. Stupid eyes.

My midwives have been lovely, it's the consultant who has been a bit of twunt-i'd change if you have the opportunity.

I had my DS in 2007 and had a high BMI. I was under Consultant care as I had recently undergone an operation on my womb. They decided to test me for GDB but I didn't have the glucose drink. I did the one where you fast and they then take blood in the morning, then I ate breakfast (a bit more than I would normally have as I was pregnant and therefore starving!) and they took more blood (didn't tell me they were going to do that).

Of course, it came back as a higher than normal reading. I was referred to a diabetic nurse who couldn't wait to start me on insulin injections! I managed to hold her off for a few weeks as my normal diet was keeping the glucose levels around normal (thanks to my good nutrition etc.). She finally got me on insulin and then to meet with the consultant the following day. The consultant looked at my results, said my twice-daily glucose readings indicated that I didn't have GDB afterall and I didn't need insulin injections!!

But that wasn't the end of it. After I had my son, the diabetic midwife kept hassling me to do daily glucose readings and kept referring to me as having GDB! My glucose readings after the birth were fine so I stopped taking them but everywhere on my medical records states I had GDB and at risk of diabetes in the future!! I spoke to my GP who read the letters and confirmed I didn't have GDB!!!

Then, I ended up going to my GP as I suspected I had PND. All he was interested in was talking to me about losing weight. I left the surgery in tears and it put me off opening up about my PND so I didn't get any help for a long time. With the help of my sister, I did make a formal complaint to the PCT about him though.

Sometimes the medical profession get on my nerves! In my experience, they use being overweight as an excuse not to treat or investigate what I've actually gone to the Doctors for!

My nearest hospital other than the one in my town is about 1hr 30mins away so its a bit far so I feel a bit stuck. Will see what the consultant says when I go in 2 weeks, will give a good argument and take some facts and figures. Going to stick to my guns over all the extra testing but probably being a bit pig headed over the vaginal birth.

The reason I want a vaginal birth so much is because last time the scar tissue was so bad it took 3 1/2 for the c-section, 1 hr 40 just to get her out when they said within 10 mins. Then they struggled to stop the bleeding and they had to call the consultant and was given a transfusion due to the loss of blood. Nobody told me what was going on all I could hear was them whispering saying they couldnt stop the bleeding and I honestly thought I was going to bleed to death. It scares the life out of me to have to go through that again that I would rather risk a vaginal birth.

The risks are very low for a vaginal birth after c-section, can't remember exactly but I have read up on it. Just would rather give it a go, than be scared for the next 9 months. With my 1st I was induced 7 days late for the hospitals convienance as they had no appts the next week. Even though I had, had a show and asked to go home and let it progress naturally, but was told no. I felt this forced labour put him in the wrong position to desend. Was told I was 10cm and to push even though I had no urge to. After 2 hours, they examined me again only to discover I was then only 8cm and was dialiting backwards due to the swelling of pushing too early and given an emergency c-section with general anaesthetic. The 2nd preg I was told by the consultant that a natural birth wasnt an option, I was going to argue but then told my dd was breech so went along with the c-section. I think I'm just generally pissed off with the medical professional just generally enforcing pointless rules for their own conveniance or to meet guidelines like my midwife is trying to do now.

sewilma thats the exact test my midwife is insisting I have to test for GD. I have never had any sign of GD in my previous two pregnancies. The only person I know who has had GD, was a skinny girl in the bed across from me after my c-section- they must have thought she was a medical mystery

Just found a leaflet she's chucked in my notes about weight in pregnancy explaining the injections and diabetes. Turns out they won't even scan you if you weigh 25 stones or over as you'll break the bed god this just gets better

Lol @ sarahken

I couldn't understand why I had the fast/breaking glucose test whereas another woman I saw in the same ward had the drinking glucose test?? Maybe they wanted to see how much I ate?!!

It's all coming back to me now actually, I barely put on any weight while pregnant (and no-one commented on that) so it's not as if I embraced the whole eating for two theory!

Sixteen week check today. Midwife happy with my diet. Aim is to either maintain weight, or only put on a minimum. I usually lose, so she should be happy.

Thats good news littlemiss. I haven't put on very much either so far and i'm happy with that.

What a nice thread. :)

I am only just pregnant with DC 2, and annoyed at myself for being 2 stone heavier than when I started last time - which was overweight to begin with.

I too am kind of trying to follow slimming world in order to keep in check.

I didn't really experience too much negativity last time, but aware I am heavier this time and have the gestational diabetes FEAR already!!

As an aside - and I know this isn't a diet thread - I have been reading about 'Healthy at every size' a lot from links on Twitter (which I know isn't that liked on mn), if you haven't read anything on it, have a google. It is a refreshing approach.

I am delighted to see this thread because I think there is a lot of misinformation out there and a lot of pregnant and overweight women go through a lot of heartache as a result.
Personally I have refused a GTT twice. I've had normal pregnancies and deliveries. I firmly believe that fat mothers are seen as an intrinsic medical problem to which a medical solution must be found - and that mother's choices are reduced as a result.

Ladies - ask questions. Ask what is the evidence? Ask what is the risk FOR ME in MY pregnancy? Ask what is the evidence showing a benefit. Just ask WHY?
Being fat and pregnant is not a crime nor a disaster. You are not to blame .
You are going to be mothers - congratulations!

Hi northernlurker. I definately feel I'm as healthly as my other 2 pregnancies, if not more active as I work full time now with 2 children. I'm only slightly heavier starting out then my other 2 pregnancies, may by a stone, which has just tipped me over the acceptable range. I won't be having any other the tests as I don't feel them necessary. By reading comments by the other posters who have a higher bmi than myself, it seems my hospital are using these measures as a test to see how they work for the rest of the country, and I'm certainly not willing to be a guinea pig, NICE guidelines or not

I agree there is a perception that 'fat' and 'active' cannot go together.
Sarahken - I too have never heard of the blood thinning injections as routine - that is absurd!

Evening everyone, hows are we all? It's all going well here. Awaiting date for 20 week scan. seeing midwife for 16 wk check next week, is that when you hear the heartbeat?

hi fishandlilacs. I've got my 12 week scan next thursday, should be 13+ 2 if I have my dates right. Can't wait for the scan, just not looking forward to the midwife and consultant appts at the hospital either side of it, but going to stick to my guns over the extra tests. I think they will use a doppler then as it should be heard on a doppler. Feel about 20 weeks pregnant myself at the moment. Much bigger bump than my other 2, even though nobody else has noticed it, and my friend says she can't tell at. I wore some trousers on Monday which felt fine, then yesterday I felt like I was bursting out of them

hey sarah, good luck with the scan-I had a 2nd scan at 14 weeks because they couldn't get a clear measurement the first time-they didn't use a doppler. But it may be different where you are.

I too feel huge, it's obvious I'm pregnant to anyone who knows me.

I cant quite believe how quickly everything is racing on!

Hello
I am new here and this will be my first child (had 3 miscarriages last year)

I am 14w (according to the scan dates - 13w5d according to my numbers) today and have a BMI of 34.5 or something...

I actually lost about 6kg since the 1st March when I had my first appointment at the Recurrent Miscarriage Clinic and now seem to have only put on less than 2kg so far. i am hoping not to put on too much...

Midwife at the booking app said i needed to see the consultant, but she didn't say it was the weight or not. strangely she said this would be end of August but yesterday got a letter saying i have an appointment at the end of September... i am seeing the midwife again on wednesday to get the results from my million blood test from the booking appointment so I will ask her then...

I am fat, but was trying to get fitter. i went running regularly and actually in the first 3 saturdays from conception did a 5k run in each saturday. and a few zumba classes as well - until the consultant at the miscarriage clinic said i should stop...

i do still go for long walks (between 8 and 16k) on weekends, so still trying to be active...

Let's see how it all goes, i am a bit nervous was anxious as it's the first and I am already 37 - nearly 38...

Hello
waves

Carla

Lost this thread for a while but found you all again. Had my booking at the hospital on Thursday. Scan went great, baby 13 weeks today. Was even booked in for my c-section on 2/2/2012 which seems crazy knowing the birth date already. Had my appt with the consultant who is a lovely, lovely man who stopped my haemorrage with my last c-section. He was so kind and said he would put it in his diary now to do the section for me to put my mind at rest.

He asked me about the diabeties and dvt stuff and went to make me the appts but I stood up for myself. He asked me why I didnt want them, not in a defensive way but out of curosity so I expained that I was annoyed at them making the assumption that I sit on the sofa eating sweets all day because I'm a size 16/18. He said he didnt agree with any of these new policies at all, but that all health professionals feel compelled to push them because the govt expect them to. Anyway thats that and I feel much better now. Better get back to my cake and fried egg sarnies girl

Waves to carla hopefully you should just fall under the 'obesity' radar hun as all policies seem to kick in at a bmi of 35. Unfortunately mine was 36 so I was deemed fit to burn . What date are you due then hun? They put me back 5 days. But having the c-section on my original due date anyway when they say I will be 39+2 so it makes no odds really.

fishandlilacs my bump now seems to have shrunK and I'm back in my normal trousers fitting ok. I think when it comes over the pubic bone it tends to stick out as there's not much fat there. But now baby has moved up a bit and is firmly covered in my flab there is no difference to my stomach size[GRIN]

Hi Sarah, I am due on 1st Feb according to my dates and 29th Feb according to them... heard the heart beat yesterday for the first time and the midwife found it immediately so the flab didn't make that harder
:o

Of course I meant 29th Jan according to them...

Hello ladies-just checking in. Been away on holiday a few days. Hope everyone is well.

Consultant tomorrow, really looking forward to that!

My consultant appointment isn't until the middle of november. GTT in September sometime. Anomoly scan in a couple of weeks.

Very fed up at the minute. I have either pulled something in my hip/pelvis area, or I am developing SPD. Meh.

I saw my consultant this week-and the fecker has gone and thrown a total spanner in the works and recommended vbac. I feel sick.

My mental health has just taken a total downturn in the last 24 hours because of this, i cant stop crying, i'm raging at my daughter and I just want to sleep til it goes away.

i have support-I am seeing the antenatal psychiatric nurse on friday, I am going to ask her to help me deal with this. I am normally assertive and ok with doctors but just couldn't get my point across. He blindsided me.

now ofc id the big question-would a vbac attempt be better afterall? I am too frightened to even begin.