Fat and fertile-were not 2nd class citizens. A support thread

[fishandlilacs]

I want to start a support thread for pregnant women with a high BMI. My BMI is currently 38. Last pregnancy it was 36, in between times my BMI went up to 41 but then I started a weight loss programme and lost over 2 stone-I was heading for more when I found myself here, pregnant, happy about it and feeling quite well thank you.

It wasn't my intention to be this fat and pregnant but cest la vie. This thread is not about arguing about it and I have no wish to hear from anyone who feels they may flame for being in this position.

My consultant has made me feel like a 2nd class citizen, I was told I was "bound to develop gestattional diabetes" last pregnancy and I didn't. This time the same old story.

If youre in the same position and want to chat about it or rant and rave then please join here.

You're about a week ahead of me, I assume you're on the first timers December baby bus? I lurk on the general December one. Had a ruddy good rant about it all bening bollocks on there

Anyway, welcome. My bmi is 47 and I have thus far enjoyed being not a stereotypical fat bird at all test junctures. 'tis all good. This is my third though, so I am refusing to just roll over and do as I am told all the time

Hi All, I'm coing up to 15 weeks pregnant and am having to go to the hospitals "fatfighters" club on wed, its really a dieticians advice class and looks interesting, but i'm worried because i've been referred to the consultant for my bmi, anything here over 30 is referred and i'm 30.5!!

Anything over 25 is referred here elli so worry not. Also, you do know that you do not have to do anything, don't you? If you decide you do not want to go to the dietician and so on, you can refuse, and there is bugger all they can do but huff and get a bit catsbummouth with you. If you prefer to just stick with your normal appointments, just tell them:) I enjoy going to the random stuff at times, as I like to annoy them, but I realise such contrariness isn;t to everyone's taste

Hello folks,

Only just seen this thread and thought I would pop on and say HI

I was treated like someone who had farted in a lift by my booking MW, and she looked like the fat kid off the Goonies! I was immediately referred to a consultant, as my BMI was 37.5. No questions about diet or health or fitness that may relate to weight, just a purse of the lips and a general non humoured approach! It didn't help when DP laughed as I made jokes throughout the entire appointment!! Well, we were excited! Especially as she was weighing and measuring me, and I piped up with "ooh, do I get the eye test now, just like being back at school".... not a flicker. I did get a DVT leaflet though... but no pregnancy information! 1st pg, and totally left to wing it!

Anyway, the consultant appointment came, and he said to me no less than 3 times "I don't know why you are with me". When I explained that I was under the impression it was because I am asthmatic, and fat, and my mum and a string of women in the family are diabetic... he said, "no, I'm just for women over 40 BMI" and then reiterated he was confused as to why I had been changed over to him.

needless to say, I am delighted that I am fat, but not fat enough Still no questions about my fitness (I do classes each week, and until I got V tired with PG I was swimming too). We did discuss diet though as I went through all the changes my mum put in place when I was a kid as she was diagnosed diabetic. So he was pleased I'm already healthy!

I have seen the grumpy witch 1st midwife I saw again in the corridor... and I've decided she is just a cow... end of

Anyway, paper dates = 18+2 scan dates = 17+2!

welcome little monkey-it's so nice when they treat you that way.

You can change midwives you know-I wouldn't stay with one so cold. They need to be able to reassure you as things progress. You need to trust them and have a rapport.

I probably wont see her much, I'm under the consultant and his team now anyway. He said, even though I shouldnt have been with him, now I am, I'll be with him for the duration - quite happy with that. He was great too. I wasnt given the book by her, so he trotted off to find one, he answered all of my questions, and was actually bothered to listen about my excercise and diet. Was pleased I am active and healthy, all the more reason to not be with him though!!

With the GP, they're all quite eye rolley when it comes to talking about diet and excercise for fatties like me. We both know we've done the talk a 100 times over, but they have to tick a box, so we both roll our eyes and talk through it very blah blah blah. It's just my weight that's an issue, my health is generally spot on. Just my weak lungs (asthmatic since age 6ish - only got fat about aged 18 onwards so no relation!) They're usually v happy with me too... except 1 nurse there, but she's due for retirement soon.

Anyway, the other nurses and MWs I have seen were all lovely.. just her

Something you can usefully know and act on is making sure they use appropriate blood pressure cuffs. detailed link here. essentially, if they use a normal adult cuff you can easily get a false high reading (and in my case start a panic about pre-eclampsia and be induced needlessly when all subsequent measures taken with a thigh cuff are normal range and you have to correspond for ages after with the teaching hospital to get them to ensure large cuffs available in all areas of maternity). enjoy your pregnancies everyone. no more for me:)

Agreed merry I demand a large cuff at all appointments. Be it maternity or otherwise. Have had some odd looks but most people understand when I explain that I had to go to the ADU after every single ante natal appointment with my GP when pregnant the first time. My GP was a muppet who didn't 'believe' in big cuffs. Alas, I was utterly unaware I could have midwife led care until I was about 32 weeks. Needless to say at that point I switched and never had another BP problem:)

Well I had fat clinic yesterday and it was surprisingly positive. The first appt I had with them was awful, they weren't saying anything particularly mean it was just some of the language (they told me they'd write my birth plan at 36 weeks and told me to keep an open mind about epidurals, then a nurse came and told me to have one right from the start!). Anyway, this time I went in with a list of things I wanted to feedback about that I didn't like in the first appt (like the fact that the sofa I was given to sit on was lower down than all of the other chairs in the room so I literally was being talked down to!). I was pleasantly surprised that they were really happy to have my feedback (even though it was mostly negative). They said they wanted to produce an information leaflet about the clinic (I got no information prior to attending about what it was about) but didn't know what to put in it.
Anyway, on me personally, he was really pleased that I'd only put on 1kg since the last appt 4 weeks ago (which means I'm now up to my pre pregancy weight again). No gestational diabetes and blood pressure has dropped yet again. They did a growth scan, all good there and within normal ranges. I was supposed to be going back at 32 weeks but he wants to see me again at 34 instead so very happy.
On a note about the cuff issue, at the fat clinic, they have a blood pressure monitor that goes round your wrist. Not sure of it's accuracy but my readings never come out high on it. Those machines that use a normal arm cuff normally give me a high reading whereas manual machines are fine.
I'm 29 weeks today and ribcage is starting to hurt, baby is lying transverse and starting to dig in - bring it on :)

Bumpity!

How are we all ladies?

Morning all. Less than 2 months to my EDD, 4.5 weeks at work (15 shifts left, not that I'm counting) and I'm definately starting to feel fat and pregnant!

I have no idea how much weight I've put on - I was only weighed at my booking in appointment and although I have obviously now got a ginormous belly I have lost weight on my face/arms/back etc so am reasonably happy :-)

I am slightly concerned at how much it feels like I've grown over the past 10 days. MW appointment on Friday, so we'll see what she says.

Hope eveyone else is well.

Hello all! First time posting on this forum! I just need to ask a quick question, I have a BMI of about 40, am only 5ft 1 and carried a lot of fat on my belly before I even fell pregnant. I am now 20 weeks along and I would just like to know at what point did you feel your baby move? I know it can take upto 24 weeks to feel the baby move with your first pregnancy but I would just like to know how long it was for others who were/are in a similar position to me. Thanks!

Not until 22 or 23 weeks for me. Although the bubbly gas feeling I'd been having earlier than that might well have been the baby!! 32 weeks now and I can prod my belly to get hom/her moving now.

Have you had your 20 week scan yet? My bean was jumping all over the pace during the scan (had to go back for a second one 'cos it was moving too much) but I couldn't feel that even though I could see it. [hgrin]

I have had my 20 week scan and little one was very active but I am going back for another one in a couple of weeks. I am a bit of a worrier so I want to feel the kicks for reassurance more than anything! Hope your MW appt goes ok on Friday!

I was worried that I flet the kicks early on (15 weeks) and then wasnt feeling much at all... turns out, I have an anterior placenta. starting to feel it through it now, I'm 21+4. Funny seeing the little pip wriggling away, and doing full turns, and not feeling it!

I was feeling them really low down but nowhere else. Getting more and more through the front over the past week.

It does really help to reassure, and bond. I do still keep forgetting I am pregnant!!

ooooh littlemonkeybix I am glad you posted i sometimes read the Feb thread (I am on the March one) and see that you are from Merseyside. i am originally from Birkenhead though living abroad at the moment. I am returning to Liverpool in December and intend on having bubs at Liverpool Womens. Are you going there and if so how have you found them so far?? Thanks

I am going to the Women's yes I'm a merseysider through and through... the majority of staff have been excellent. I had a stupid pig for my booking in appointment (not that bad, but the further away it gets, the more I get annoyed by her!) But honestly, the people I have seen have been great. And on the phones, very helpful there too.... but I have left messages and they haven't called back. So better to ring again rather than leave your number.

Only criticism so far is that I have had a delay on every appointment, and Im travelling to get there, its not on my doorstep, so it's quite a chunk out of my day.

Loads of parking, and it's £2 regardless of time - I think per day. Scan pics have just gone up to £3 a pop (if you're getting any there)

Of the two hospitals I had to choose from (although there were other "centres", I wanted a hospital though) The Women's was the better choice for me. I am a bit of a worrier, but they specialise in women and women's things... I reckon that if I DO have a mishap, I'm in the right place! My nursey friend agreed, and the website had tons of info.

As for the threads... I should move over to the March one, but I've got used to the Feb one They bumped my dates from Feb27th to March 5th. Aiming for Feb 29th though we'll see!! ha!

What is your due date.... maybe see you in the wards??!

I've an anterior placenta too, it really does affect the timescale you feel the kicks on.

I am due 10th March so who knows! I was born at Liverpool Maternity so thought it would be nice to have my baby there too. I was very impressed with their website which is why I chose them over Arrowe Park, although everyone I know who had a baby at AP rated them very highly too, I have emailed them a couple of times with questions and they have always been helpful but its nice to know someone else has had a good experience.
I have had a couple of scans and I know i dont have an anterior placenta, I guess I just have to wait a few more weeks.
Thanks for everyones help, my weight is not an issue where I live at the moment but am a bit concerned as to what will happen when I return to the UK!

Mine isn't an "issue" but the booking MW put me straight with the consultant Mr Weeks. He's lovely, but as I am below his threshold (40 BMI and over... i'm 37) I probably won't see him, just his team. He and they have been lovely though. But he said the original MW shouldnt have moved me from my original consultant.

I was actually a home birth in Liverpool, and in the times when they weren't "trendy" and were indeed quite frowned upon!! But my mum had had a couple of shitty matronly MWs so thought "screw you guys, I'll do it my way" and did. The MWs in the centre were fighting for her on their case books as they all wanted to do a home birth!!

Maybe after baby 1, I'll see how I feel about a home birth... as I LOVE the idea.... but am crap scared! ha!

Dorcas there is every chance we'll meet then - if I'm a bit over, and/or you're a bit under heehee!! Shall we say the 7th for good measure

Oh, had my glucose tests done too... Not diabetic, even though mum is, and her mum was, and her mum was too!! Go me!

Hello, I to have BMI over 30 (33 I think but refuse to go look at my notes). Find it annoying I'm 6ft and I'm sure in the original study back in the 1930s or whenever they took the measurements there were no 6ft tall women in the study so my "healthy range" is just made up anyway!

MW was fine with me about it but am worried for scan and stuff as hear fatties like me give them repetative strain injuries or something as they have to press down really hard. Also not looking forward to glucose test where have to starve yourself which isn't fun when carrying an extra person around!

Am also trying to follow slimming world but am comfot eating at the moment to stop the nausea so not going well (am 8+5 and have put on 2.5lb since found out and think it may be even more when go to get weighed on Monday)

Think this thread is brilliant and can't beleive the sh++t treatment some of you are getting! I'd be in little bits if it had happened to me.

karron fat is preferable to muscle apparently. Fat squishes, muscle on a very very toned stomach is denser and harder to 'see' through:o

I get to go argue with the consultant next week. Which should be fun.

Hi all, its a while since I posted so just a quick update from me. I am 'fat' but have been treated really well by all midwives (seen 6 different ones so far at the GP's!) and by all hospital staff. I have a very flabby belly and was worried about scans but so far had 12 weeks, 20 weeks and 23 weeks (just cos baby refused to stretch out or turn round at the 20 week one!) and at no point have they not managed to get a clear image. I do offer to 'hold my belly up' which i think helps them. 'Passed' my GTT test last week and the starving was fine as appointment was first thing in the morning so just about managed it! Back tomorrow (28weeks + 5) for a growth scan and then next one should be at 36 weeks. My BMI is over 40 by the way so was also referred to consultant, but had one appointment and that's been it, all the rest of my appointments have been with the midwife, who explained that the growth scans just made it easier for them to size the baby. I hope everyone else finds understanding staff as it makes such a difference, this is my first baby and I am also old (38) as well as fat so was dreading all the medical people being nasty! I am being seen at Leeds General Infirmary.

Good to hear everyone's been lovely

My appointments have been with lovely people except the 1st one! Got 28week appointment today, and 2nd GTT on Friday, plus clinic. Hoping I get another scan, as pics from 20week were poor.... one good one, and a string of others that were poo the ultrasound lady was brill, but she was at the end of her training, so her supervisor came in at the end, checked over everything, then printed off a loads of rubbish pics. Only got the good one cos the 1st girl made a point of saying loudly "that's a good one".

Hope we're all well!!

Ywp, nice to hear positive stories aren't totally uncommon. I've had no problems at all regarding my high BMI, and am being managed by the community midwives at the moment.

I'm 38+4 and am letting myself believe I might be allowed to labour in the midwife led unit and have a water birth. Hadn't let myself think about it till now, but I've had no complications so far. At my last MW appointment my BP was a bit high, but I had just battled through high winds and rain to get to te surgery so she did all the other checks and then did my BP again and it had settled down again.

God luck to everyone - remember just 'cos we're big doesn't mean out bodies don't work properly