January 2012: Thread 2

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As you were

Hi ladies

Yeahhh I broke up for 6 weeks finally, seems like last few weeks have dragged soooo tired.

Well I came on to complain about zits on my face but thats nothing compared to all the migraines some of you seem to have must be bloody awful, only ever had two in my life and that felt like I was dying so to have one that lasts days must be the pits.

Look like a spotty teenager again with a zit on my neck, lip and cheek WTF? Must be hormones dont remember having them last time round?

Shonna glad you like our nickname smurf lol thought it was original but your sister had it first ha!

Well counting down the days for our 2 weeks holiday in sunny Tenerife, bit scared of how hot its going to be and think I'll be purchasing a lilo for the pool to keep me cool or sit more in the shade. Not able to suck my belly in like I always have ha so going to let it all hang out which wont be a pretty sight as havent got a pg belly yet just look like I've eaten too many puddings.

Lovely to hear everyone's news on scans and apps, and I still have to pinch myself into thinking is it all really happening.

Have a lovely weekend all x

I am also suffering from spots, so I guess it must be the hormones. It's annoying as my skin was lovely around 12 weeks and now I look the 'before' in a 1990s Clearasil advert. If you didn't get it last time BigHotMama would it be affected by the baby's sex? Someone mentioned having a rash because the baby was a boy, but would the baby's hormones really affect your own body in this way?

To self-employed people, do you get SMP or nothing at all? That is really hard. I deal with a freelance who was back working days after her baby's birth, something that employees aren't even legally allowed to do. She works from home but I still felt very sorry for her. But I'll be managing on SMP as my firm only pays the minimum, so am also feeling a bit sorry for myself...

what's SMP?

I know we have to sort some forms out which means I get some kind of maternity pay, but since the recession a lot of stuff has been cut or ditched entirely, so I'm still not really sure.... and I HATE HATE HATE forms so I keep trying to get my husband to look into it so I don't have to... gotta rest that weary pregnant brain, no?

Since we are both self-employed I think it's going to be great and fairly manageable once the baby is up and running (as it were!) but for the first 6 months I definitely want to try and work as little as possible, and my husband is a real stay-at-home looking-after-kids type man after being raised mostly by his dad, so he'll definitely want some kind of paternity leave too. We might just have to be very poor for a bit....

(changed my name by the way, was getting fed up with LippyHippy already! - will fix it on the list in a bit)

Self employed people get smp at the higher rate so around £125 a week roughly works out at £500 a month.

I went pram shopping today and fell in love with the bugaboo donkey its gorgeous, however at £1300 it may be an eBay job! Although I still want to look at tfk's twinner twist duo.

You also get 10 days where you can work with out it affecting your pay, and you can also go back part time and have your earnings topped up by smp (statutory maternity pay)

I don't think men are entitled to paternity pay, but I'm not sure on this.

thanks for all the useful info addictediam, I didn't know you could get SMP top up if you return part time. May be useful for me if I qualify as I doubt I can afford to take the full 9 months where you get SMP.

is anyone else looking at whether DH can take on some on the maternity leave? Mine many do 3 months after I go back to work but as he is self-employed I am assuming he doesn't any SMP for this, also I don't know if the proposals for men to share leave have even been enforced yet.

Mostly i am worried about people's reactions. DH and I are happy about the idea but most people we talk to act like I want to cut his balls off with a rusty spoon, or that he will accidentally feed the baby beer and let it crawl into the road, one women who we'd only just met even warned him against it because 'I would end up resenting him'. She can read my mind AND the future then?

oh my god what's wrong with people???? My DH is definitely going to be the more natural parent out of the two of us! and I want him around as much as possible! and he definitely would rather be looking after a baby than working! but then he loves kids and hates work

second the thanks for useful info addictediam

Re Statutory Paternity Pay:

"For you to qualify for Ordinary Statutory Paternity Pay, all of the following must apply:

o you must be the biological father or adopter of the child or be the mother's (or adopter's) husband, partner or civil partner or have or expect to have responsibility for the child's upbringing
o you must have continued to work for the same employer without a break for at least 26 weeks by the 15th week before the baby is due, or employed up to and including the week your wife, partner or civil partner was matched with a child
o you must continue to work for that employer without a break up to the date the child is born or placed for adoption
o you must be earning an average of at least £102 a week (before tax)"

from SSP directgov

That's awful! How dare she coment on your situation with out knowing you.

I can't remember how going back part time works and you have to ask as unfortunately they don't like to share info! But if after say 3 months you want to work 2 days a week, you can ask for them to pay you maternity for 3 days a week untill the end of the 9 months. I had a thread around this time last year under a diffrent name where someone explained it all. Unfortunately I don't remember what topic I posted in or what my name was I only know it was a variation on addicted (I've de-registered and rejoined since!)

If you search for self employed maternity pay it may come up, I would do it but I'm on my phone and just can't face it. Sorry

Oeisha its different rules if your self employed

i will investigate at some point - thanks for the pointers everyone.... just busy watching Harry Potter on tv right this second...important stuff....

I went out to a wedding reception last night. I was only there for two hours and had a very small plate of food (triangular egg sandwich, some sort of spring roll - about the size of your longest finger - 4 tortillas, a small sausage roll, small cornish pasty and a slice of quiche). I had one dance (YMCA - what else?) and then home!
Three hours later, I threw up - BIG TIME! Feel fine today though. So not sure if it's one of three things:

1. Tiredness - as my pregnant friend suggested
2. Dodgy food
3. Peanut has taken a dislike to dancing?!?

sorry to hear you were sick mum2be79. I wonder if it's worth checking with a doc just to rule out and kind of food poisoning as it sounds like your body wanted to get rid of something, but if you feel fine now it sounds like your body has done what it needs to, which must be a good sign?

Has anyone else suffered any bump discomfort at this stage (16 weeks). Been out shopping and had a discomfort/mild pain going from lower bump downwards. Sure it's probably just my uterus growing but feels more uncomfortable than before. The midwife found glucosites (Sp?) in my urine last week and asked if I'd had any pain, which I hadn't but it did hurt to wee this morning. But think that is because I feel generally uncomfortable.

mum2be79 it's probably just tiredness, but what does anyone know about quiche? i thought us preggers people weren't supposed to eat it?? (not trying to frighten you or anything , since you threw it up you're probably fine, and it's probably fine anyway -) I'm just curious cos I've been avoiding it, and now I wonder why! I think somebody must have said it to me at some point, or I've imagined it. Anyway I'll be straight back on it if someone gives me the go ahead!! mmmmm quiche

Hey ladies, just checking in from my holiday to guiltily confess to a spontaneous baby-related eBay purchase! I saw a review on MN of the Stokke Sleepi crib and just checked eBay to see second hand prices - and the short story is that I've just won a bid for one in my local area in good condition and for a good price (compared to new anyway). So I'll be picking up the crib next week - which is a pretty huge purchase at 16 weeks! It looks like it has all the bits which make up a child's bed so it should last for years. And if I've understood the package correctly we've saved over £600 on the price of buying new, so I'm pretty happy right now!

Had to battle with sketchy signal at crucial bidding moments though!

Wrt quiche its the raw egg were suposed to stay away from (because of food poisining) but as far as I know shop bought quiche is fine as is shop bought mayo. (its the home made quiche and mayo that could be 'dangerous') but in fairness its all about being sensible, diffrent countries have diffrent rules ie in France you can't eat any raw fruit or veg nut cheeses are fine??

Agree that should steer clear of home made mayo, but quiche is cooked?!
Mine is anyway, for about 40 mins and till it's firm therefore the egg is cooked properly. I eat tonnes of the stuff.

Also, if you buy eggs with the lion stamp they come from flocks which are vaccinated against salmonella so there shouldn't be a risk even raw. The advice exists because of those eggs which are not, which tend to come from small suppliers eg a little farm down the road, or imported eggs. So buy British!
That said, I am being careful anyway and making sure they are propely cooked, homemade quiche with leek and mushroom yum yum!! :o

I can't see how there'd be any risk with quiche- it's exposed to a decent heat for a long time. The only dish I can think of that involves cooking eggs that would be risky (except soft boiled, poached or fried eggs) is properly-made spaghetti alla carbonara and that's because the eggs are cooked by the residual heat of the pasta only.
The worst thing is eating desserts in fancy restaurants where everything's handmade as almost everything has uncooked eggs in- ice cream, mousse, panna cotta, creme brulee, tiramisu...

I eat home made quiche, i just didn't want to say it'll be fine, dont worry and then something to go wrong

I also avoid 'high risk' meat products at buffets so things like saussage rolls, egg, pastys etc but i didn't want to say that either. But then I'm very parinoid after having food poisoning once already in this pg and then discovering there may be a problem (hence I'm not on the list, too scared untill my 3rd scan on Thursday!) You can't help but feel the two may be connected.

Sorry just having a hormonal 5 minutes.

ignore me, I need to think positively! baby. is fine the sonographer could have been wrong.

Redhead - try and look at the Directgov website when you get chance as it has all the info regarding Maternity Allowance (what the self employed can claim) and you can check your eligibility. It's mostly if your Class 2 NI is up to date so get advice from your local tax office if you need to - best to know exactly what you can expect I reckon. Also Addictediam whilst on SMP you can only work up to 10 days (keeping in touch days) before you lose entitlement so be careful with what you employer suggests. There are rules about who can ask to work part-time which I'm not as familiar with but parental responsibility is one of the main reasons and the employer has to have a good case to disallow it. Phew, sorry, I get het up about making sure people get what they're entitled to as the rights are hard fought for!
Poor Mumtobe79, not what you want, I hope you're feeling much better.

Congrats on the bargain Ghosteditor, I just looked it up and it's a gorgeous crib! I have crib envy, will probably be heading to Ikea for ours as I don't know anyone else to hand it on to so not worth investing in this time!

knittiekitty, I think you'll find were talking about 2 diffrent things, although in essence your right as well. I'm talking ab0out being Self-employed, where as your talking about being employed. but the sentiments are the same, although not so much about the part time

F&*%!!!! Never ending. I'm asthmatic and I've been 'chesty' all weekend. Since I had a cold last week, I thought it's just the tail end of it and so increased my inhalers as necessary. Now I woke up this morning with what I think could be a chest infection! I should know better - the beginning of the six-week break always sees me ill for the first few days. My body winding down.
Poor peanut - he/she has had to endure me having a tummy bug, a cold and now suspected chest infection in the space of two weeks! Roll on 3 weeks today when I will be flying out to Madeira!

Morning all! Hope everyone is well.

Conchita: as someone who is allergic to egg, panna cotta can sometimes be ok to eat - it's often cream and a setting agent like gelatine, so we can often still eat that. The rest are off limits but oh well, can't have everything.

Hope everything goes well with your scan addictediam and well done one re bargain hunting ghosteditor.

I'm off to France for the day - at heathrow now and so tired already! I'm coming back tonight so I'll probably be exhausted by the end of the day. I'm not sure at what point to quit these long days with flights. Hmmm.