Charters Anonymous Graduates Volume 2! – No more temping!

[Iwish]

A nice cosy place to accommodate our growing bumps and little wrigglers.

Oh sorry, here's a hyperlink

Have voted for you hun x

Congratulations terrys!

iwish, we haven't used a dummy yet for fear of it interfering with breastfeeding but I do have some on standby.

Congrats terrys fab news! Hope you find the perfect name soon.

Iwish we gave DS a dummy from about 3 weeks old, and it hasn't interfered with breastfeeding at all. He is a hungry horrace though! He quite often falls asleep without it though.

Hope MrsA is doing ok xx

Thanks ladies. I have given him a dummy as it seems to calm him down. He often doesnt want it but sometimes it works.

Does anyone know what I can give to a 7 week old for a very stuffy snotty nose? He sounds really snuffly :(

Iwish I got some drops from Boots - think they're just saline. Easier (and less traumatic!) than a spray and quite effective. I've also got one of those gross nose suction things but I find it a bit of a waste of time as well as horrid! DD has been really mucusy since birth but she tends to just sneeze it up and be fine if I give her a couple of drops every now and then. I've also got baby olbas oil which works a treat (think it's just milder) - I put it on a tissue and leave it near to her moses basket but don't put it near her face.

Does anyone else have days where they really struggle? DD has been crying on off all afternoon for no reason that I can see-have fed, changed, played, cuddled all to little avail. DH got home from work and immediately took her as I was so stressed out by all the screaming and instead of being glad about it or happy to see him I was then just irrationally angry about having to make dinner and tidy up. I feel like I spend ALL day by myself with her trying to keep the house in order but when he takes her I'm somehow still the person running round like a blue arsed fly while he can't do anything because he's holding the baby. Then I realised I hadn't taken something out of the freezer to defrost and had a total meltdown, slammed a cupboard door DH told me I was being irresponsible behaving like that in front of DD-he's right but I wish he could have seen how stressed I was and tried to calm me down rather than just making me feel worse in that instant. I then cooked dinner and he said he didn't want any yet as he didn't want to talk to me.

Honestly, I know I've behaved like a total bitch but somehow I feel like he's so GOOD that I'm not allowed to be stressed or upset because I'm letting us all down. This is in my head, he's never said or implied any such thing. He's such a lovely man and he really does do his fair share, if not more, but I feel so overwhelmed most days.

Sorry for ranting

I'm going to go and make up with him now-we never 'don't talk' and it's horrible

Oh pippa I'm sorry you're finding it tough. I remember those days well from DD. DP would go to work and she would cry and cling all day and I got nothing done, then DP would come in and take over and do everything right!
Don't forget your DP/DH has had a day of adult conversation, time for a coffee in peace i bet plus time to eat and has 'head space'/time to think. You do not. It is hard in the early days, so be kind to yourself.
Do not attempt any form of housework except that which you need to survive (eg clean clothes, cups without mould etc!). When DP/DH comes in, give him the baby and go and have 20mins on the bed, a shower whatever you can and get him to make tea. Or he puts the baby to bed whilst you watch some tv or whatever works for you and your routine.

Lean on him and you can't be superwoman. He may think he has it harder at work cos you can sleep when the baby does, right? He doesn't - as a FT working mum, work is much easier!

So, that may not be helpful but be reassured that your description is normal and what most people go through. Be kind to yourself. :)

What that should read is ' as a FT working mum, I know without doubt that work is easier!'

Oh pippa I agree with mrsA. Do not be hard on yourself. It is really really tough being at home with a baby, particularly if they are crying a lot. It is very easy for someone to walk in having been in a different environment all day and not see how stressful it's been for you. They come in "fresh" but this is our workplace and it is very draining. I am a bit at your DH saying "I don't want any dinner yet because I don't want to talk to you". That seems really out of order. What you need is support, not criticism. It would be good if you could give him the baby for a day one saturday and you go out for the day and come back and see if he's managed to keep the house in order and prepared dinner! (although it's tricky if you are b/feeding!). I don't think you are ranting at all. Have a HUG. BTW you will not scar your baby for life by banging a cupboard door or two! It's a bit silly of your DH to say "don't behave like that in front of the baby". She certainly won't remember it! xxx

I'm a bit embarrassed for having ranted - sorry about that and thank you for being so nice! DH and I had a proper talk later and made up. I know it sounds like he was being mean but when I lose my temper I really lose it and he hates it when I'm shouty - and then of course I hate myself for it if I'm like that in front of DD :( I am not very nice when I'm stressed! I know she won't remember but I hate the idea of scaring her when I'm angry - after all it's not like I'm angry with her, and she's so little she hasn't a clue what's going on, so it would be awful if I frightened her :( But I feel much better today, and DH has got tomorrow off work and has booked me a haircut in town and is going to look after DD all day - it's only a day but I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to having a day 'off'! Knowing me I'll then sit and miss her in the hairdresser's chair and wish I was at home!

MrsA that's so interesting what you say about work being easier - I'm sure it's not always the case but at the moment I keep having days where I'm so jealous of DH going off to work for precisely that reason! I'm sure I'll be sad when I do go back to work though. You can't win can you!?

Hi all

I am so in love

Pippa I could have written your post 3 years ago, I found DS so so hard to adjust to and I was jealous and angry at DH for being able to go to work, he used to joke he was going for his day off and it really felt like that. Don't expect too much of yourself, DH or DD, you are all adjusting to a whole new world and your sanity is far more important than a tidy house or fancy dinner. Just take one day at a time! Use MN as a venting place, it really does help!

terrys that pic of your 2 just made me cry at work . Damn pg hormones! Lovely photo.

When I lose it, I really lose it too Pippa - I am quite embarrassed at myself afterwards . It's hard when you are not sleeping so much and worrying and being soooo busy!

Glad you had a good talk and enjy your day off. :)

I'm about 16 weeks ish now, end of April seems quite far away now, but once we're past Christmas i guess it won't be!

argh
I am clearly not getting enough MN time, nearly all my threads have dropped off my Threads I'm On so have to go hunting again...

terrys CONGRATULATIONS!! Love the pics, you have beautiful babies Fab birth story, so pleased for you. Does she have a name now?

pippa I SO know what you are talking about! I made DH read your rant as I've felt exactly like that at times. She is wonderful, but oh so emotionally exhausting as well as physically. My little porker is 12lb 4oz now and nice and chubby. Had her 12 week jabs today

So nearly there MrsA, can't wait to hear about his arrival.

Bobbie's memorial was laid last week on her grave, very emotional, but it looks lovely and we are really pleased.

Love to all xx

Terrys SO cute!

Jaggy it will fly by - you'll be struggling to tie your laces any time now! 16 weeks was lovely for me as the nausea had gone and I felt like I was looking properly pregnant

Spilt I keep losing my threads too - I wish MN kept them a bit longer on the 'I'm on' list, don't they know we're all busy mums?! It must have been sad and lovely at the same time to lay Bobbie's memorial - I hope you're all ok.

I've started a blog - inspired by Terrys! - to give me a kick up the bum while attempting to lose weight. If any of you would like to have a read and leave me a comment for encouragement that would be great! pippaandpolly.wordpress.com/ I'm not very accomplished at blogging - it doesn't look great at the mo, but I'll figure it out!

You are precisely right Pippa, feeling much better and have a mini bump (made of cheese)!

Thinking of you MrsA not long now.

Hope everyone is doing well.

DS has started sleeping through the night ... so pleased! Don't want to get too used to it though, just in case it's all a bit of a fluke! On saturday night he slept from 11pm to 7:30am! And I had to wake him up as boobs were exploding

Can I ask a question, I think it was raised before but can't quite remember, what are you b/feeding ladies doing about DTD? I just can't ever seem to get in the mood, and I think it's partly worry that my boobs will leak everywhere and it will all be rather unpleasant

GD it's only happened here 3 times, and she's 13 weeks today. tbh my boobs leak everywhere all the time anyway so it's not that (spending a fortune on breast pads!), but if it bothers you then keep your bra and pads on, which is what I do. I just never feel like it atm. Might be the bf hormones - I never wanted it when I was on the pill either - I seem to be quite sensitive to hormone changes in that sense. Poor DH

ttc (ie not on hormonal contraception) and being pg was a different story altogether!

spilt 3 times is a lot compared to me - the grand total of zero times in 9 weeks Poor DH, he is very patient, but I think he is struggling a bit!!

It's not that I don't want to, but it's just so difficult to feel like it. I think, as you say, it must be a hormones thing. Hopefully it will settle down.

Send me labour vibes ladies. Sooooo bored here. Can't believe I could say this after ttc for months and months but I really don't want to be pg anymore now!

Congrats on the fab sleeping baby Getdown!

I am embarrassed to say that DP and I dtd 3 weeks after my c-section with DD. How wrong was that?!!

Wrong or not its very impressive MrsA!
I was too scared to even look at my nether regions for weeks. I could feel the bruising, I dreaded to think what colour it was/how revolting the swelling looked, no way was DH getting access

Sending you labour vibes. I remember how pissed off I was with pregnancy by the end. So uncomfortable!

I have a ravenous baby, she's currently wedded to my left breast for hours. Right breast has fallen from favour and is rejected unless I con her when sleepy onto it

Having a nightmare trying to get her to take a bottle. She just will not have it, and two days ago the attempt ending in copious vomiting all over DH. She screams herself into a right state. We keep trying, but I'm wondering at what point to give up and accept I just can't leave her... a pity as I quite like expressing but it's totally useless!

I'm bottle feeding and we still haven't managed to dtd DD is 9 weeks today! We tried once but it was painful so we stopped. I am quite in the mood nowadays so I'm finding it annoying and poor DH is nearly out of his mind-had in his head that 6 weeks would be the date and we're way past that! Hoping it will stop being painful soon though.

MrsA I'm sending you as many labour vibes as possible!

Thanks guys and don't worry - you will dtd again, your OHs just have to be patient! DP is always far more interested in sex when I'm not pg sadly (I've felt v up for it throught pg!)

spilt classic growth spurt. Line yourself up with dvds and snacks and feed feed feed. I always think a winter baby is better cos you're stuck inside feeding on cold days rather than missing out on lovely sunny days outside. :)

funny you say that, as I think of her as a winter baby, but I guess being born in August that is a tad inaccurate

But yes, I am very up to date on the happenings on the Renovation Game, Location Location and To Buy or Not To Buy (which is crap may I add but I am a sucker for house programmes)