November 2011. Bumps, kicks and less feeling sick.

[Missyraines]

Thought I'd take the plunge and go for it.

Oh blue I'm so so sorry.....massive hugs x

Oh Blue. I am so sorry. I know there is nothing I can write or say to help you and your husband but we will all be thinking of you and your angel who will know how much you loved them. I hope you manage to gets lots of loving support for you both in real life and I know there are ladies on MN who will try and support you too. Hugs Katie xxx

I'm sorry if I sounded a bit blunt earlier, I was typing on the phone, as I needed to say it to someone. There are just all million thoughts going through my head.
thanks all for your kind messages! very much appreciated!
we still don't whether it was a boy or a girl, as they stopped scanning after they didn't find a heartbeat. I find this really hard. I would like to name our little angel.

Blue, perhaps if you want to know if your angel was a boy or girl they can either scan you again or tell when you deliver. Please ask, if you want to name your baby you should be able to. I know you have probably been told this already, and perhaps you already, have but please consider contacting SANDS. They helped not only a close friend but also helped those of us who wanted to support the Mummy and Daddy as best we could.

You didn't sound blunt earlier. If you had posted something full of bile and swearwords to be honest I doubt anyone would questioned it.

Gosh Blue am so very very sorry to hear your sad sad news. Like the others I wish I had better words to say but I am thinking of you all. Please don't worry about the tone of a post. Like Katie said no one would mind if you were swearing etc. I hope you are able to find some peace once u meet your beautiful baby. Take care xx

Hi bumpandissacsmum,
just read your post about ante natal depression and since I work for a mental health charity couldn't pass it by. Did a quick bit of research and thought this might be helpful. positivelypregnant.org/default.aspx
Hope you're having a better day today.
Bron x

Oh Blue So sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you, DH and your angelbaby.

blue so sorry for you and you OH, I hope you manage to get the support you need & hope that sunday goes as well as it can for you to meet your angel baby x x

bron thanks, will look at the link x

Oh Blue you poor, poor love!> There are no words but I am thinking of you and dh. So very, very sorry.

Blue,

so sorry to hear your news, nothing we can say will help much, but hope you and your husband have support in rl. Hugs and hope Sunday goes quickly.

thanks all. My DH is just bringing our DD, 2,5 to friends as we don't know what's going to happen over the next few days and we don't want to worry her when we have to rush in to hospital. I just don't know how I will find the words to explain to her what happened ...
This morning we were all so happy talking about how we were going to count the babies toes and fingers for her and see whether it was going to be a boy or a girl.
And then the world falls to pieces on you.
And I just feel like my body is being so cruel to me, I can feel the baby in there and it's just not fair.

blue - big massive hugs from over here too. Can't really imagine how you'd feel, but big hugs none the less.

So, we had 20 weeks scan today, too. But that was all overshadowed by going in for an emergency appointment yesterday and have bloods back showing my free T4 levels lower than normal, and now embarking on the journey of consultant led antenatal care.

My biggest problem with the above is that I spent time in the labour ward last night. IT'S CARPETED! Now, it may not be weird to you, but to a Scandinavian like me, it's the most unhygienic, revolting, incredulous choice of flooring for a labour ward. Why would you have carpeted floors on a ward where there is bound to be stuff everywhere?
The rooms are too small to have two birthpartners, and you share the bathroom with the room next door. The walls are flaking, there's not heating and you'll be lucky to even get a window that doesn't open onto the very busy car park. The registrar and the midwife were rude and uninterested - at least the junior doctor and the ward nurse was very good, thorough and helpful.
When I told the midwife after the scan today that I'd fight tooth and nail to not give birth in the labour ward she grimaced and said "We know, we know" and promised to assign me to the consultant with the least opposition to home births.
I'm seriously thinking about changing hospitals. Seriously. If anyone has any experience of other hospitals in Manchester (This one's Tameside), please let me know!

I'm not even sure a carpeted ward if any type is acceptable given camera men were chucked out of an orthopedic ward this week for wearing ties and long shirt sleeves. This sounds horrendous Caliphora, 30 years behind most NHS facilities. I have looked around 6 now and I can assure you some of the rooms not brilliant but never ever carpeted. Disgusting.

I don't blame you for considering going to an alternative hospital cal I cannot believe it is carpeted - no where in a hospital should be carpeted let alone a labour ward . Sorry to hear the the consultant wasn't helpful but glad the junior Dr & MW/nurses were x x

Blue So so sorry to hear your awful news. Hope you and your family get all the support you need, and that Sunday goes as well as it can.

Caliphora CARPETED?!? wtf? Urgh, just thinking about it is making me shudder. Sorry I don't have any experience of Manchester hospitals. Maybe try the pregnancy thread if noone else on here knows?

Blue very very sad to hear your sad news. I'm sorry I do not know what else to say other than to echo the above.

I hope others are feeling qa little brighter today. Caz well done on the fundraising so far! That's a fab amount of money!

Oh and CARPETED!! Gross!

Blue you poor, poor love. I am so very sorry for you, your husband and your wee girl's loss. I don't know what else to say. Bless you all and your wee angel baby.
Caz I'm so sorry I got the date confused with Belle's birthday. V insensitive. Im sorry.

Just to add, my friend had her wee girls delivered yesterday around 3pm. Olivia Skye weighed in at 3lb 11oz, is in NICU, and currently has Raybans on for jaundince treatment but looking at the pics she's gorgeous. Looking at the pics, she's tiny but going to be tall like her mum, just perfectly, perfectly formed already and with a mop of black hair from her dad that we've identified as the cause of my friend's horrendous heartburn, and she's currently taking epressed milk from a nasal tube and sleeping in an incubator but really not too covered in wires or anything. Her identical sister Fiona was born sleeping. My friend said the nurses dressed her, gave her little prints of her feet and brought her in to hold in a beautiful moses basket and that broke me I'm afraid. To think that there are people on the NHS paid to wash, dress and prepare these tiny wee ones with such love and respect to try in a vain hope to ease their mum's pain just the tiniest bit, well I'm crying again just thinking about it. Caz I've bought clothes for Olivia and a tiny pink bunny - and I bought a matching white rabbit for Fiona. Do you think that will be okay? I don't want to upset her mum even more - but I didn't want to forget Fiona either. As for me DS went mumpy in John Lewis' canteen today, maelstrom of a tantrum with me trying to protect from tum from the flailing limbs, and I've realised my 20 week scan and consultant's appointment fall on June 30, the public sector day of action. Is it likely healthcare workers are striking too? In which case should I call to see if I need to rebook it. Yes, even national politics are ultimately all about me.

blue i'm so very very sorry to hear your news. i hope you have lots of support in rl. I think you have every right to know if boy or girl, and should certainly tell them that you want to know. I hope the next few days can go as well as possible.

caz i hope the walk went well today. i hope the next week isn't to hard for you both.

cal bloody hell, no i've never heard of a labour ward being carpeted. i do not blame you at all for wanting to change hospitals, i think you should insist. Say otherwise you'll stay at home.

poppet no plans as far as I'm aware for health to strike!!! Neither rcn or unison are even battling anything at the mo (nhs pensions were changed 2008 & haven't been changed again yet). Your appointment should be fine & if not they have a duty to inform you x x

Blue - what tragic news for you, am so sorry just wanted to add my thoughts are with you and your family, how hard to have to explain to your little girl what has happened.

Cal - sounds terrible. I am at Wythenshawe hospital and they have a fab new midwife led delivery suite with at least 4 pools and about 12 private rooms with ensuites etc - I would recommend Wythenshawe, I had my youngest son there. If you want to ask anything please feel free to do so.

Blue, i'm so sorry to hear your news.
My next scan is at 22 weeks ( I,m currently 17 weeks), and haven't had a scan or heartbeat check since 12 weeks, who knows how often this may happen?
I hope you get all the support you need, and get to say goodbye properly.
Our thoughts are with you xx

Blue - I am so very sorry to hear your sad news. There really are no words.

Caz - Thoughts here for you too.