October 2011 Baby Bus ... part 3

[elgoldenflower]

A place for all the mums due in October 2011

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Hi all, been enjoying catching up on the thread,

Had 16wk MW appt yesterday and was lucky and got to hear the heartbeat for the first time She was very reassuring (apart from the qualifying, there are always risks in pregnancy and we can only reassure you for the time of your appt, 5 minutes after, anything could happen - ok I get it!) and took time to explain things a bit more than they did last time. Feeling much better.

I've been feeling little movements for a while but can't wait until they turn into proper kicks!

I'm self employed and don't work much over Summer hols and as my work is project based it's not very fair to my clients if I go back for a bit in September so I'll be finished with most stuff and working 1 day per week from mid-July and on full Mat leave from late August to Easter 2011. Very happy as my job is quite active (drama workshops) and I find it hard to slow down, was dancing around like a clown yesterday before I realised that it was bad for my hips. Just going to have to be careful with money apart from the necessary purchases for baby.

Anyway must get some lunch and head of to a workshop

Oh my gosh how exciting - I have not thought of working out how long it is until I don't have to be at work! [frantically does the sums in her head]

Even if I work right up until the end of September that's only 18 weeks away only problem is surviving the holiday mania in between now and then - I work in Devon looking after holiday homes so being very pregnant in August is not going to be fun...elgoldenflower feeling very envious of your summer

I'm feeling of you all - planning on working until the Friday before my due date here, because I need the money!

Hi all,

Had my 20 week scan today and all was well, luckily. Now just counting the days until baby is big enough to survive if born early (I'm not just extra pessimistic, but had prem one last time!)

I too am counting the days until I finish work - am super lucky as I am a teacher - so can finish the summer term, have summer relaxing and then start my maternity leave officially in September (am due on Oct 1st). Might do a token week in Sept, but unlikely to have to do any teaching as they have appointed my maternity cover to start in September.

Hi all.

Well I am 18+5 and still not getting any movements- getting impatient now!

Starting to fill out around the tummy area, but it's still flabby, not bumpified.

Got my energy back, hope it stays. I will be working until 30th September, as long as my head teacher agrees, then will be back at work after the Easter holiday- unfortunately I can't afford any more time off.

Had Ofsted yesterday and today, and although I wasn't teaching, I spent the weekend in school making sure everything was up to date and tip top. Then tomorrow when I'm in work, the children continue with their SATs, so in fairness, I haven't had time to give the baby any thought, and struggled to spend time with the girls at home too! Roll on half term and our surprise trip to Disneyland- can't wait to see the girls' faces .

Quick message to the doctors on the thread. One of my friends due in Oct is thinking about taking a Med Reg locum from June to Sept. Do you think she's mad and should just take the summer to relax in the garden?

cheekydino, Wow, they have already appointed your maternity cover?! My head teacher hasn't even discussed dates with me, never mind what will happen in September! I will be having a C section on or around 7th October and I want to work until the week before, so I really hope they don't appoint my maternity cover until the 1st October. Better speak to my head, at least now Ofsted is over she might be in a better frame of mind to discuss things!!

Sorry, didn't mean to make you all envious.

I'm very lucky in some ways but will only get 9 months of Maternity Allowance which is a fraction of my usual earnings and I'm the main bread-winner so there'll be no choice about returning to work 5 months after baby arrives.

Hello all,

All this talk of mat leave is making me quite jealous too. I can't complain too much because I'm a teacher too so I will have the summer holidays, but I'll go back in August and teach until the October holidays, stopping on the 13th, about 2 weeks before the due date. I work in an independent school so we don't have the same conditions as state schools. I only get 8 weeks paid mat leave and as my DH is in a temp job that will have stopped by then, if doesn't get another job I may have to go back to work then. I'm trying not to think about it too much but in the worst case scenario, if I'm two weeks late then the baby will only be 4 weeks old when I have to go back to work!!! Can I put it in a carry cot under my desk in the classroom?

On a more positive note though, DH got a letter through today asking him to go for an interview so fingers crossed all my worrying will be for nothing! Also, I had my 16 week app and got to hear the heartbeat which was amazing!

I thought minimum was 12 weeks?!
That's a shame if u have to go back so soon!
Everything crossed for ur DHs interview you'll need to let us know how he gets on

I didnt get a 16wk app last time I saw MW was at booking in app and she said see you in 10weeks. I did phone today though and have app next week when I'll be 19+2 then scan the week after can't wait

Apologies for making you all jealous with my early mat leave. Having 2 jobs means I'm in work 5 days 1 week, 6 days the next. I've been so tired and stressed about the 2nd job that for my sanity I need to get out of there. Neither of my jobs are well paid, and DH is a SAHD so we're more than used to scrimping & saving. Mat leave is just an extra challenge... but one well worth it. :)

For all those worrying about when you're going back. I'm not sure if it's different for people who have maternity cover arranged, but I'd always recommend telling your employer you want to take the full year off. Unofficially say when you expect to return but make sure the official date you give them is 12 months.

I had a friend who had worked out she couldn't afford to stay off beyond 9 months so that's what she told her employer. Her circumstances changes while she was on Mat leave so she wanted to stay off for the full year but her employer wouldn't agree to it as they had planned around her returning.

I though that you are entitled, so long as you meet the SMP criteria (i.e. employed for 26 weeks by the 15th week before baby due), to take 12 months mat leave - your employer can't stop you - you're entitled to it by law. But of course no-one wants to be arguing with their employer about taking another three months when the time comes if the employer is going to be difficult about it.

MrsHende can you work until baby's due? Fingers most definitely crossed that your DH gets the job, you really don't want to go back when baby is 4 weeks. I could hardly leave the house at that point [rabbit-in-the-headlights emoticon]

It's mad that we're already all talking about mat leave! Good though. Had a bit of a run-in with one of my bosses who showed complete ignorance and told me it's my responsibility to tell everyone exactly when I'm planning to leave right now. Er, no! I can't believe she was trying to bully me into making a decision before the 25th week. As if.

Ooh, today I had my first preggers road rage incident: I am suffering a lot from sciatica at the moment and my back is KILLING me, so I'm walking pretty slowly. And as I was walking over a zebra crossing, a cyclist who had to stop, shouted "Can you go any quicker grandma?". ARRRRGH. I was furious. I really don't expect anyone to go out of their way to be sensitive to my pregnancy or anything,and I only show a little bit anyway, but GOD! If someone is walking slowly, chances are they have a reason. What an idiot!

@ mpops
I can't believe someone could be so rude pregnant or not that's awful, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself screaming at him.

You can start may leave on your due date but must use all accrued holiday before then AFAIK thats what I'm doing mat leave starts on EDD 17th oct but holidays mean I finish 23rd sept

Am now more appreciative of the fab maternity benefits at my company it's the only reason I've lasted there so long as have hated the job for years!

Am looking into going to uni when I'll be due to return, anyone have experience of uni with a 3yo and 1yo? Or should I just wait till they're at school?

I'm self-employed, and because of the way my business is structured I'll be entitled to even less than SMP (despite earning extremely well). I'm saving hard at the moment but am already booking bits of work from January onwards. It feels very strange, as I just don't know what being a mum will be like. Maybe by the time the baby is four months I'll be desperate to get back to work, maybe I'll still be a sleep-deprived scatty mess! I just don't, so booking work now is a leap of faith. I am extremely lucky though that a few hours' work will pay me at least £250-300, so just booking an afternoon here and there will make a huge difference to our income. It just feels such a shame I have to start thinking about all this now!

Morning all - maternity leave is a bit of a minefield especially statutory which I think is a joke but also working for a smallish company at management level I have complete understanding why for companies like mine it just financially isn't viable to offer anything more!. You are entitled to a year off and as long as you give 4 weeks notice you can change your estimated return date as much as you want to.

I went back to work when DS was 5 weeks old (for my sanity really as I really struggled not working but also financially as DH is self employed and it was smack bang in the middle of the recession) but I did so from home for 3 months so didn't technically return to the office until he was 4 months. I don't regret it as I needed to do it for me but this time I will be taking a minimum of 5 months off. Thankfully DH has a project locally (well an hour away) for the last 6 months of this year (normally he is abroad) so we wont have to worry too much about money (although I earn more than him so it will be a huge dent in our monthly income) and he will be close by.

We haven't saved anywhere near enough but we will after this month and all the holidays are out of the way - fingers crossed we should be ok for a bit and can still enjoy Christmas and New Year!

oooh Disneyland - which one are you going too? I love Disneyland! Can't wait

mpops that is awful, where were you - I would expect it in London!

That can't wait should have said, can't wait until DS is old enough to go!!

Edward, I did shout at him. You don't want to know what though!

BB3, yup, in London. Right in front of the British Museum.

Regarding mat leave, I'm planning on taking 9 months. It's quite weird having to make those decisions when you're a first-time. As someone else said, I've no idea what it's going to be like, so that's all a bit random, and sort of what I can get away with financially. I'm also quite desperate not to miss too much of the LO's first months and make sure they're eating properly before I hand them over to the nursery. It's becoming so real now...

Confused I think your friend is bonkers! There is no way I could do Med Reg on calls at 7 months pregnant...although I suppose it depends how busy the job is and if she will be doing acute medical take or not...and I speak as one who is in a fellowship post now doing office-based work and relishing the absence of acute medicine!!
xx

mpops so rude!! London is so typical for that: I stood nearly all the way to work on tube yesterday, in front of a bloke that obviously spends most of his time in the gym and possibly taking steroids, with my pregnant tummy sticking out and my "Baby on Board" badge on, while he studiosly ignored me! I was so incensed I couldn't even be bothered to ask him to stand!!
Good luck for DH's interview, MrsHende!! Let us know how he gets on...
So amazing we're all already thinking about mat leave...but sad it's mainly because we all have to for financial reasons. I work for NHS so am very lucky with leave: I am planning to go off middle of September for 6 months, but will use up annual leave beforehand, so will start actual mat leave on due date, I think...
xx to all

EdwardorEricCan'tDecide I have no experience of being at uni with children..I am however just completing my first year whilst being pregnant and I plan to go into my 2nd year as soon after I've had the baby as I can..I am only doing this because I have already started..so it would be a shame to leave and come back...

but I think for you considering you have 2 children and knowing how hard uni can be..it might be easier to wait for your children to go to school..so you have more time to study.. But if you do decide to go it will be harder but I am sure you will get through it!

mpops and rebelwithoutababy I'm sorry to hear your stories...people have been so accomodating with me ...allowing me to have their seats etc...I wish you could have had similar experiences....I am sure somewhere along the line someone will be rude or unaccommodating to me too and I will think to myself what a sad person they are!

Mpops, I hope you told him where to shove his bike! I work just round the corner from there, and am driven insane by the cyclists along that road who seem to believe that the red light doesn't apply to them. (This isn't hating on cyclists, btw - just arsehole cyclists :) )

I'd always assumed I'd work until the very last minute, mainly because I've been an idiot with money since I graduated, and until recently I kept living in a short-termist, 'what the hell' mindset, so I've got next to no savings at all. (Don't even mention pensions... ) When I think about my current and future financial situation, it's very tempting to just bury my head in the sand - especially as we'll be in the US from next March, so no child benefit etc...

EdwardorEric what are you planning to study at uni? Are you really really sure it will improve your life or 100% guarantee you a better job at the end of it? Can you afford £27,000 tuition fees over the three year course?

I know quite a few people who've done their first degree later in life or done an MBA in their 30s or 40s, only to end up back in their previous job again.

I would truly advise anyone who has been in work against going to uni as a mature student in the current economic climate, unless it's to do a vocational course leading to a guaranteed job, eg teaching, nursing, midwifery, radiography.

There are many good careers you can enter through different routes by doing a course rather than a degree, eg accounting technician, legal executive, marketing, PR, IT support, etc.

The other option is an Open University degree, which is a much more flexible course and mainly distance learning. They tend to be better value than other universities at the moment.

Don't want to spoil your fun, just being realistic after seeing what has happened to friends and colleagues over the last 15 years!

hello all. sorry been awol for a little while I havent been feeling too great. I keep going dizzy which i think is due to my bp as its around 100/56 usually lol. It has made me pass out a few times so waiting on blood test results to check my iron and glucose levels. Its drivencrazy btw namechanged back to my usual name

melt down alert:
My big sister is pregnant and is due 8 days before me, she's had her 20 week scan today and has found out she is having a girl. It's completely thrown me - she and my mum are really close and I already feel that my mum is more involved in her pregnancy than mine, she struggled to conceive and so I get the impression her pregnancy is thought of as more deserved and more important than mine, add to this the fact that my mum doesn't ring me but they speak every day and I've been upset for a while. the only thing that was keeping me going was that mum has made it so clear that she wants a grand daughter and everyone has been saying my sis is having a boy and I'm having a girl - so I thought at least my mum would want to see my baby if it was a girl. now as sis is having a girl I feel that will be it - mum will be round there all the time and my poor little baby won't get a look in. have been sat in floods of tears at work (not my normal logical self) and really don't know what to do.
Is this just pregnancy hormones? I'm normally a very strong independant and rational adult. At the moment I'm not sure if I'd be able to even talk to my mum without sobbing uncontrollably.....Help!
p.s. I am really happy for my sister