The Deli gets funky: Ah, PESH it good - P-PESH IT REAL GOOD!

[Scorpette]

This fred ain't for everybody - only the menkul wimminz!

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1.
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2.
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12.
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11.
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13.
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24.
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5.
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7.
ChoChoSan, girl, born 6 Feb.
Ginhag, boy born 11 Feb.
Muser, girl, born 15 Feb.
CluckyKate, boy, born 18 Feb.
Perfect Dromedary, boy, born 23rd February.
Medee, girl, born 26th March.
Casserole, girl born?

UPDIFFED

Scorpette, not top of the list at all, lalala, I can't hear you!, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish).
Rocketleaf, sprouting out all over the place, due 1st June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July.
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, No, it's not fucking twins, due 24 July.
Ivegotmrbitey, appears to have eaten posh spice, due 27th July.
Macaroonmum, eating for 7, due Aug 6th.
Owlbooty, suddenly weeble-shaped, due 7th August.
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August.
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn.
Truffkin, growing a padawan, due 17th November.
kat2504, 25 sticks pissed on and counting, due 5th December.

Ooh yes, lots of easy sneezy thoughts to ChandlerByng glad she's getting her HB! Now for a domino effect on the iminent layers

Pirates of the caribean is on, what do you think of the name Orlando?

Great news to come on and see we most likely have a new PESH baby to coo over . I second Biteme, we need some more babies please

Had a great weekend Chez Orchid. 'Twas my birthday so the parents came to stay and I got a morning shopping with mum sans child, and then they babysat so we went out for tapas and then onto a 40th party. They also helped put together mini O's new bed and moved the cotbed into the nursery so we're ready to roll! I was reading my hippobirthing book last night again and started to get super excited about laying (remind me of that when I'm in labour and not being at all hippolike!). I washed squidge's first outfit last night after mum went so that can now go in the hozzie bag too. Got to get Mr O through his exam on Thursday as it's really stressing him out and then we can chill for the remainder of the time we have left before bubs is here.

There's probably lots I've missed out, but MUST do some work - only 9 days left including today - eeek!

Ooooh, any more Styfy news this morning? How exciting!

No news here. Just more of the same really. Think my flange is already broken. Each time I move in bed I hear my pelvis clunk & my vag aches. I swear I feel like a chicken wish bone from my belly button downwards. Hey ho.

Scorps In our ante natal class, lovely MW said that someone put a little photo on her front door of her & baby, with a note saying they were asleep right now, thanks for the visit but if they could call & arrange a more suitable time that would be blardy marvellous. I thought this was a grand idea as most people would adhere to it. Not sure if it would work with TYF Aunt........

I think Bug is going to appear on due date. This is because Cardiff City are in the play off finals & Mr Loz will already have his head spinning due to that. I've actually told him I'd rather he was in Wembley watching the footie than annoying me, but he's having none of it.

Bitey Pliz to be quiet about imminent layers.....

Sounds a lovely weekend, Orchid.

I thought of doing that, Lou, but haven't got round to it. I have answered the door while BF (EA was on the boob hidden by the door!)

Ooooh a laying, how exciting, how is our Byng this morning?

I have been away for the weekend. Things that are now on my list as effing awful are: long rambles in the countryside, long journeys in the car, lying on my side in bed and the Owlet discovering he can kick right up under my ribs. OW.

Roll on August, I say.

No laying yet. She will come and announce when laying occurs.

Where is that DHB crown anyway? She is being extra DHB about the whole thing. Perhaps we could send it along with enough flowers to ensure a massive sneezing fit to assist laying.

Helloooo! Have been lurking but not posting for a while, life is a bit hectic at the mo but I sensed some baby laying going on and popped in to wish Styffy lots of sneezy vibes!

I'm looking forward to the cluster lay about to commence and am hoping that I might join in a couple of weeks early as this baby is trying to claw its way out of me! I'm 35 weeks today and pretty much had enough of this pregnancy; sleep is evading me, walking makes me want to pee myself, and I'm feeling sick again! On a brighter note, maternity leave starts in a couple of days and building work is finally coming to an end so we may actually have a house to move into by the time this baby makes appearance. Hoorah!

Much luck to those imminent layers...

Think gin might have taken it over to the spa with her :D Hope its not too much longer!

macca i am pretty zen about it tbh. now i have everything ready its just a matter of waiting, and it still doesnt feel very real.

booty i suspect our in utero offspring view our ribs as some sort of inbult jungle gym. Now Sprout is too big to kick me in the ribs, she just sticks her feet out one side and wedges her bum under my ribs, you have all that to look forward to :o

orcs not long til mat leave!! Whoot. How many weeks are you now?

There does seem to be a few circa 28 weekers around so it'll be nice to have another cluster lay to look forward to

x post twinkes lovely to see you! glad all is well (if a bit hectic) and ML is imminent.

I'm just rushing on to tell scorps that I dreamt she had her boy last night and she called him David. Not vey likely, right?

But Binger!!!! :) sending lots of slippery, sneezy vibes which are probably too late anyway so have some lofferly snuffles too.

I'll be back.

Sounds like a lovely weekend Orchid. I managed half of a gathering of TH's family for MIL's 60th before having to come home to work, which was probably a good thing or MIL might not have survived the weekend. She bemuses me utterly and I was losing patience with her insistence on taking everything anyone says seriously and so taking unnecessary offence at things. Fortunately she seems to have had a good weekend so all should be peaceful.

Re. visitors post birth, I'm planning on telling everyone that visitors are welcome but that they must phone first. We could get none or hundreds depending on whether people feel they can descend, and I'm hoping that if it does turn out to be hundreds that filtering by phone (ie ignoring certain people - caller display is a wonderful invention!) I can stay sane. And I'll put TH on dealing with people duty - Scorps it sounds like you might need to get TYF to do the same! I mean, at the end of the day if you don't answer the door then they can't come in, can they.....

Having said that, I'm very quickly realising that it's pretty hard to remain as private a person when pregnant and so I suspect even more so with baby. Everyone else is excited too, which is lovely, and I don't want to squash any of that. It may just be a case of managing it for my sanity!

Sending sneezy vibes to Stiffy

Thinking of styffy. Totally DHB! Loads of easy. sneezy vibes coming from me too.

In other news i dont seem to be able to make or eat food without getting it all over the bump :S

Soooo,
Orchid happy belated birthday! sounds like you had a lovely weekend. Especially the going-out part. You sound so excited about the arrival of the wee-One, it's catching :)

Twinkles good to see you back again!

Loz broken flange not good :( but maybe it's a sign of imminent laying...
I do like the suggestion about the sign on the door though. And Oca's plan to put man-bouncer on duty too. unfortunately my relatives all live hundereds of kms away so they won't just drop in and piss off, they actually come to stay. For weeks ffs. Have yet to think of a plan to put in-laws off coming 'to help' (i.e. coming to sit on my sofa and watch sport all day on the telly and be generally useless with no1child)

Owlie I am aghast at the amount of activity you have been partaking of. I have taken on the notion that pregnancy is all about doing as little as possible. I know lots of people say 'it's not like I have a disease' but I say take advantage and lounge. it's the only time in your life when no one makes you feel guilty about doing nothing

meds! How are things with little EA?

I can't get enough sweet things. Or tea. Or crisps. anything really...
rocky I have 2 stained maternity t-shirts already so i dread to think what's going to happen over the next 12 weeks...I have taken to wearing an apron when eating. Not joking.

Very good thanks, macca!

Set stagger your visitors- one adv of where we live is family and friends can't just pop in.

wishbone flange sounds like a sign of laying to me loz

Just popped back to cheer along styffy some more. And where is scropes today? Cluster lay?

And maternity clothes are meant to get belly stains - thems the rules. Just remember where the food falls once you are holding a baby! (Oh no dearest, I have no idea how my one-week old child got her white babygro covered in chocolate... )

COME ON STYFFY!

Happy belated birthday to gorgeous Orchid - glad you had such a lovely time. I found it v exciting on my birthday to think that I'd have my baybee at the next one :)

Loz, I haz the hurty flange too. And the hurty everything. Headaches getting worse again. The last few weeks are so dull! Kinda wondering if I'll lay on my due date too.

Rocket, I have to fashion bibs out of teatowels, etc., when I eat I can't balance a tray on my knee any more or get close enough to a table. Rubbish.

Maca, The Lad won't be called David but that is my Dad's name, so good guessing. Perhaps you were thinking of Michelangelo's David, as my son will clearly be a work of art and a giant amongst men, etc.

Good advice, peeps, about the warning on the door to thoughtless callers but we live in a 1st floor flat, so is not feasible. Am considering hanging a banner out on balcony that says 'PISS OFF '. TYF is so shy and easy-going that I know he won't be able to tell people to back off and I'll have to be the evil one (and so it'll get reported back to his family that I'm cutting them out/not coping, blah blah ).

MIL rant: she emailed at the weekend asking why she'd not heard anything from us as surely the baby was late. I emailed back saying the due date is Wednesday, so not late and we'd tell her as soon as anything happened, etc. She's emailed back saying she had forgotten about the baby as things have been v exciting down there at the mo (exciting? They live in the middle of fucking nowhere in Devon! Has a carthorse had a heart attack down the lane?) and to remind us that if the baby is born after next Sunday, they won't be able to see 'it' for a while, as she'll be at the Chelsea Flower Show and then doing other things (the life of a rich housewife is a very taxing one). Obviously, there was no comment about me, like 'hope you're doing well' or similar. It was written in a really off-hand 'your thoughtless child-bearing is really messing with my life' kinda way.

It really wasn't very good of me to ring TYF at work to fume but it was that or send her a candid email outlining my thoughts on the matter... He actually admitted that his parents are really rude to me, which is a breakthrough.

Sorry, didn't realise that was so long (even for me!)

Do you want me to go and turn you MIL to dust with a basilisk glare score? What a cow!

SOrry to hear about hurty flanges all round too.

Happy Birthday Orchid sounds like it was luvverly

occy I feel the same about the whole private person versus visitors descending. I am hoping that I will be so thrilled with biteybach and desperate to show him off that I can relax with an open house but I suspect this unlikely. Especially when the in-laws descend.

Glad I am not alone on wanting the sweet stuff maccers, last night I cried because I wanted a juicy white fleshed peach like you get in france and knew that there was now way I would find a shop here that sold them. Even if it hadn't been midnight but regular shop hours it is still an impossible quest. I believe it may have been a craving???

I am going to be referred to go under consultant led care for now so that I can have pre natal tests for the birth defect that is in my family. Once they are done I can go back to midwife led but it has been a bit of a shock and a wake up call. I am dealing with it by refusing to think about it AT ALL and then pacnicking all night. Very constructive behaviour! Also new job is hideous and boss is the very face of hell. I am feeling very very low in mood and really need to squee over some ESH spring, get a move on is it ladies? Whadddaya mean your worlds don't revolve around me?

Aw, Bitey, that sounds like a whole heap o' worry and crap that you could just do without Am sure baybee will be fine, but anyone would worry. I do the same thing with worries - manage to block them out okay in the day but then lay awake all night fretting and crying, etc. I will try my hardest to get a-laying just to cheer you up: will also try and arrange pics of The Lad wearing his Rocket-booties as soon as possible, although that might break the internet with the cuteness!

You go sort my MIL out, I'll come give Evil Boss hell for you - sound like a deal?

I also know what you mean about impossible cravings - I went through a phase of only wanting things my Gran used to make for me. Seeing as she died in 1990, I didn't have much chance of tasting them.

Scorps I have just come back from Devon where the local news was (I kid thee not) 'Goats slaughtered in satanic ritual'. Who says they have no news?? Also; has your MIL been up to no good?

Bites damnit. I bet you the consultant will see you once and send you packing though - do not fret. Usually this sort of this is an arse-covering exercise. For example, Owlet will have to have bonus wonky hip check at 6 months because my hips were wonky when I was born even if he passes the first hip check from the doc. Tis a right bunch of bugger. I send you a virtual white-fleshed peach as consolation.

I have been longing for green tea ice cream since about 12 weeks. Can't find it anywhere. Is bloody annoying.

Everything about the ILs is suddenly becoming clear, Booty...

I have discovered Del Monte 100% fruit pineapple lollies (OM NOM NOM!) - how many should I eat to bring on labour? And how many can I eat before I have to be transported to the labour unit on a specially calibrated Sealife Centre truck?

My money is on the MIL! Impressive work on the unsatisfiable cravings there score! Thanks for the virtual peach boots.

Interesting news story today about a baybee in Wales with the same thing who had surgery in the womb. Amazing stuff but a bit scary on the timing as it now feels as though everyone is talking about it at the same time. Hopefully consultant will just send me forth for a late scan, all will be well and I can go back down the MW led route. It does make a difference on where I will be laying as if there is an issue I will have to head to a specialist hospital. Anyway, this doesn't sound like denial to me . I am sure all will be fine, a poorly baybee could not possibly kick this hard!

Haglets! Very excited for imminent new ESH babe, hope the laying is progressing Stiffy and you will soon (if not already) snuggling your newborn - squee!

Orchid the birthday weekend sounds lovely, many happy returns.

Sorry for flange pain my loves, am hoping that it is short lived and there will be cluster-laying a plenty in the coming few days / week at most. Am too excite for beautiful, snuffly, sweet smelling little baybles all around.

Scorps the more I hear of your MiL the more amazed I am that you haven't murdered her exploded. I'll join in the lynch mob with the other ESH to win you back your sanity Also, the Del Monte 100% orange juice lollies are the ones that have kept me sane throughout vom-fest (and they are one of my 5 a day - bonus)

Bitey let me distract you with this special dance, I will perform it almost naked (but for the nipple tassles of course) It is interpretative, in the style of Phoebe Buffet from Friends.

So I've had the day off work today, which I had pre-arranged as I thought I would be cream crackered from a busy weekend and late arrival home last night. It was a fabulous decision as I slept until nearly lunch time, have done some washing, changed the beds and wandered to the shops to purchase ingredients for the homemade lasagne we will be having for dinner. Aside from the fact that there is absolutely nothing on TV in the daytime (what's up with that?) I am hoping this will be mostly what my maternity leave is like

In other good news, I am feeling extremely hopeful that my sickness is improving as I have managed most of the weekend with very little vomming, literally twice in 3 days so far - yippee! Am not pushing it and sticking with small portions of relatively safe foods (managing some of my MiL's amazing roast potatoes yesterday was a dream come true) and at 13+3 I think the timing is about right for it to bugger off. If this is the turning point, I've managed to get away with only 7 weeks of sickness, which although at times it has felt unbearable, is far better than some people have to put up with so am delighted. Am trying not to count my chickens however, so will keep my fingers tightly crossed for now.

Finally in the best news, I had lunch with my friend yesterday (you might recall I mentioned the difficult conversation we had last Sunday) and it was great, like old times really with us being silly and giggling on top of having a good chat about what's happening with both of us. Since we spoke last week they have been referred for IVF and although she started off quite concerned about the relatively low success rates quoted, we had a brilliant talk and she text me last night to say she felt much more positive after our chat. She also bought us some lovely gifts (a baby record book from Mamas & Papas and a mug each with 'yummy Mummy' and 'super Dad') which was really thoughtful of her. I am feeling much, much better and more confident that things will be good between us, plus I am too excited about celebrating a win with her when she gets her baybee, which I am absolutely convinced she will do.

Sorry for very long and very slightly mememe post, I think my lacking of weekend posting means I am keen to catch up on Mondays