The Deli gets funky: Ah, PESH it good - P-PESH IT REAL GOOD!

[Scorpette]

This fred ain't for everybody - only the menkul wimminz!

BESH BAYBEES

dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1.
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2.
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12.
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11.
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13.
Maswera, boy, born Dec 24.
PollyPoo, girl, born Jan 5.
MrsFC, boy, born Jan 7.
ChoChoSan, girl, born 6 Feb.
Ginhag, boy born 11 Feb.
Muser, girl, born 15 Feb.
CluckyKate, boy, born 18 Feb.
Perfect Dromedary, boy, born 23rd February.
Medee, girl, born 26th March.
Casserole, girl born?

UPDIFFED

Scorpette, not top of the list at all, lalala, I can't hear you!, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish).
Rocketleaf, sprouting out all over the place, due 1st June.
TwinkleToes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 20 June.
Orchid, hoping for a zen like child, due 1st July.
Ginfox, loving the new mega-boobs, due 12th July.
LadyGoneGaga, No, it's not fucking twins, due 24 July.
Ivegotmrbitey, appears to have eaten posh spice, due 27th July.
Macaroonmum, eating for 7, due Aug 6th.
Owlbooty, suddenly weeble-shaped, due 7th August.
Ocarina, there's a what in there?! due late August.
Mountie, too shy to shine, due Autumn.
Truffkin, growing a padawan, due 17th November.
kat2504, 25 sticks pissed on and counting, due 5th December.

oh polly! People poo at Sainsbury? You'd expect that sort of behaviour at Tesco perhaps, but not Sainsbury or Waitrose.

at the toilet incident polly - We are just getting to that 'embarrassing things your child says in public' phase. We've just properly potty trained so most of the time it's just loud announcements to the cafè/restaurant/park about what came out

Loz and Scorps can't believe it's laying month! Can't wait for the lay off... No pressure, like

Bitey I am still amazed at the amount of 'friends' I've made since having a child - I suppose it has something to do with hanging out in parks a lot (with a child in tow obviously, not in a seedy mac). I think the fact that there's one very obvious thing in common makes for easy conversation of the type "oh so she eats muck/runs away a lot/ screams like a banshee too! Let's get a coffee". A few 'mummy friends' are necessary so you don't bore your other child-free friends to death.

I have started realising that I have to sort out mat leave documents soon-ish and it's all getting a bit real. We get 2 months before and 3 after here as stat leave so I should be off on mat leave around the 6th of June ... just over a month away

Oh my God, I can't believe I missed Poo's Poo Story last night! Me and TYF just read it and were crying with laughter at the end. Then, when I pointed out that when The Lad is Boo's age, it'll be TYF taking him to the loo and risking such humiliation, there were even more tears. At least mine were still with laughter!

BTW, my brother learnt how to use a camera at a very young age and went through a stage of taking pictures of my Dad having a wee in public toilets when we went on trips/hols. Thinking of the photo developers, thank God people weren't so crash-hot at shouting 'paedo!' at everything back then...

He grew out of it at 27 (badum-tsssh!).

Of course you don't hang about parks like a seedy flasher, Mac-wearer

PS Lovely reassurance about Mummy Pals. The major reason I want to move from this area is that it really is all under-25 mums (to the extent where the NCT classes round here are tailored to that age group). I need some cronier/classier fellow mums!

I printed out my birth plan last night. I realised I had made a grammatical error, which still torments me and that I've managed to not mention that I'm okay to be tanked up with drucks and a mobile epidural if needs be. DURR. It's basically 47 pages of 'BE CAREFUL WITH MY SPD! I'M ALLERGIC TO IBRUPROFEN & ANTIBIOTICS! NO HURTY MY FOOFOO! I'M BRICKING MYSELF, WAAAH!'. Back to the drawing board, perhaps...

Hello all, no laying from me either. I've just been at NCT classes (or baby bootcamp as I've renamed it) ALL weekend, was blood knackering so in bed at 8 pm every night. It was worth it in the end, good bunch of people and actually quite a good laugh although I did already know most of it and I am a little bit worried it might have sewn a bit of negativity that conflicts with the hippobirthing. (didn't want to be a PITA about it like that couple at yours score) But I am hoping I can get over that by the time I lay. If anything its made me even more determined not to get persuaded to go to the hospital just because I am not fitting in to some arbitrary timeline. I also found out my local unit are doing a trial where ALL women over 35 are offered (coerced into?) routine induction at 39 weeks. WTF? Avoid avoid avoid!

polly you have made me giggle with your Boo stories. the joys of things to come. I am glad I am not the only one who gets 'surprise' poos. TB just doesn't understand that sometimes I go for a wee and one just happens (gets very unimpressed with this if he is in the bathroom at the time :o)

score sorry you are coping with even more symptoms, specially if they are stopping you from posting! How you feeling today?

loz I feel your pain with the sleeping thing. I am really struggling at the mo, too but more because I am getting too hot, than needing to pee. Hope you are having a mahoosive lie in to make up for it.

bitey not to worry about the street mums. There will be plenty of other baby friend opportunities and they will prob thaw out a bit once you have an actual gorgeous baby to coo over.

Feel a bit at a lost today, nice day but to windy to sit out. Too knackered to do anything but can't sleep. meh.

x-posts score need to start writing mine and pack the hospital bag (that I WILL NOT NEED)

macca forgot to say 2 months before hand sounds like a great idea but only 3 months after? do you get the option to stay off longer if you want?

bitey pls to pm me your address as your booties are done. Please also do not to mention that you have jumped the que due to my inability to get myself to the wool shop for navy yarn (sorry score)

Rocket you won't need the hossie bag unless you don't pack it, therefore get it packed ASAP.

And joining you in the at Mac's 3 months mat leave, but then in the US the standard appears to be 6 weeks. How on earth that is a good idea I do not understand. But then I guess women in some parts of the world just have to tie the baby on their backs and get back to work otherwise who's going to feed the family. Must remember to be v grateful for every moment of mat leave I get.

I'm full of an evil cold which is starting to get annoying now. Hacking cough + rubbish pelvic floor muscles = not good combination. People kept telling me to go home to bed yesterday, and didn't seem to believe that although my voice was almost gone I was actually feeling a lot better than the previous few days. So I'm at that not properly ill but well enough to be annoyed by not being properly well stage, and probably immensely irritating to everyone who has to deal with me.

Very amused by Pol's toilet story. I can identify. MiniG thinks trumps of all varieties are hilarious but thankfully seems oblivious to any smells.

I second getting your bag packed Rocket. I packed mine 90% and then when had to transfer in was no fun at all trying to get last bits together at 10cm dilated with a stuck baby. Surely compulsory inductions at 39 weeks are a recipe for disaster though. Cascade of intervention anyone?

well done on birth plan, Score - think it is really helpful for you working out what YOU want to happen. And good for briefing TYF too.

Can you take unpaid leave after the three months is up, Macca? Otherwise seems a bit harsh. Wish I was going off two months before though. 1st July is my last day .

Looking forward to getting my boy back. Have missed him this weekend . But is so lovely to get him back - lots of snuggles and "I love you, Mummy's".

Got on scales today. Have now gained well over 3 stone . Have been googling Milla Jovovich and has made me feel much calmer. She gained more than me and looked fab.

Oh and hope you feel better soon, Occy

Re mat bags - PACK NOW!

Re mat leave - I could take 1 month before and 4 after if I wanted to but seeing as first came out at 36+5 I'm not taking that chance! I can stay at home for another 6 months on 30% of my pay after that too and then some more unpaid, so it's actually really good.

Rocket Sorry you are feeling a bit 'out of sorts'. Bet you wished you hadn't agreed to all those booties, eh? I might have to send you some Italian cake in advance just as a pick up. Not sleeping is no fun. Ever.
Those 'forced' inductions are a bit , aren't they?

Gaga I know how you feel, although I haven't put much on really compared to the first time, I feel massive and when I walked back into work after Easter Hols people actually gasped . I'm all bump and arse - not a great look.

occy hope you feel better soon - coughing and sneezing really don't go well with bumps at all.

I have managed to eat 3/4 of a box of pastries without even realising it. What the?!

Afternoon one & all.

Poo I am crying with laughter at Boo. And it probably all seems just run of the mill to her. Genius!

Well, I've finally bought some nappies. And some bedding. So I think we're actually getting somewhere now. This week will now be mostly washing. I also need to pack hospital bag (this has become Mr Loz's centre of attention & is having nightmares about it). Mamas & Papas delivery should be on Wed, so yep, officially starting to brick it now

Not a lot else going on really. So back to the sofa with some easter egg remnants & the snooker.

Life in the fast lane here

Rocket, I crave the booties but I didn't realise you'd have to go to lots of effort, y'daft thing You are the loveliest of lovelies [guilt]

OCcers, hope your cold goes ASAP. A cold in the summer always feels like insult added to injury.

Macca, ML terms seem a bit rubbish but considering your first was early, I think you've chosen the right combo.

Well done on the purchasing and upcoming washing frenzy, Loz. Reality is getting far too real now, huh?

My bags are 100% packed [smug] but I haven't put the freezer blocks in the freezer (so I can put some snacks and drinks at a moment's notice into the cooler bag. Control freak about the whole thing, moi? GG your experience sounds a barrel of laughs - NOT. Hope this next one is easy breezy sneezy :)

Things left to do: sort out spare outfit for TYF to also take, make up a music compilation CD, bulk-cook meals and freeze. All stuff that is not end of world if we don't get them done.

I felt bleeeurgh this avo (no, don't get excited) and had to go for a lie-down. When I got up a few hours later (I may have napped, ahem), TYF had cleaned the living room/kitchen (one big room) incredibly thoroughly from top to bottom, to the extent where he was on his hands and knees wiping the floor with Ecover spray and kitchen roll just to get it as clean as possible. What a treasure! He is much more nestular than me (is this a sign?). When I smoochily thanked him in awe, he just shrugged and said 'nothing's too good for my baby'. Man is a star. I keep being arsey and crying and being useless and he's still so nice.

Evening laydeez. Just trying to catch up with you all.

Scorps, pliz can I borrow your other half to sort my house out before baybee arrives? And how did you get him to do all that without asking? Have you thought about starting a Husband Training School?

Feeling your pain LadyG - am studiously avoiding seeing self naked, as seem to have ballooned from below the ribs and downward - including ankles. Made fatal mistake of trying on my summer clothes to see what still fits . Had to go straight to laptop to spend money on maternity clothes to get over the pain.

Am officially fed up of being diffed. There isn't a seat in our house that I find comfortable, so am constantly moving around and fidgeting. Apart from that all is good, esp as mat leave starts in 2 weeks! Yay!

Ooooh, can you send TYF round here when you're done Scorps. Thanks ever so. Ah, I shouldn't be cruel, Mr Loz is quite handy & looks after me well.

I do not look at myself in the mirror, haven't done for a while now. Nor have I had any photos taken since Jan, & even then it was only neck up. In my head I look fabulously glowing with a neat little bump - why shatter the illusion?

Right I am going to pull my finger out and pack the bag today. I am also going to do the birth plan I think. Spent the day on the sofa watching the first series of Tudors which cheered me up no end. Then my friend brought her ten week old round with the baby whisperer book and her list of his schedule which freaked me out again

occers hope you are feeling better, colds are no fun at the best of times but snot production seems to increase ten fold when diffed.

lady i am sure you still look fab despite the gain just like Mila It's all temporary anyway and you were pretty svelte prior to diffment judging by the pics.

score its actually no big deal, its just in town, and i had been planning to go last week but then TB was off sick with his back so it all went out the window. Think I am popping in later so production will start again :o get you with your packed bags. Can you come and do mine? Small price to pay for some booties surely ;-) Also gawd bless TYF, he's a keeper (as if we didn't know that already)

loz sounds like you are sorted, if NCT taught me one thing its that actually babies need very little in the first few weeks. nappies, clothes, somewhere to sleep and boob. (at least I bloody hope it turns out to be that simple)

macca if you send me any kind of cake i wil love you for EVAH!

foxylady nice to see you, to see you...... Hope you get comfy soon. Its a PITA really, I find lying down is the best plan and am spending 90% of my time in bed

Scoooooorpsssss - rootin and a tootin for ya. Wow ey. Big big love etc. xxx

KIMDEAL! Proper chuffed to have your lurve behind me! Hope The Lad isn't as big as a Cannonball, etc. XX

Rocket, I would love to come round to lez you --up pack your hossie bag, etc. Is this wrong? Yonks ago, I used to be a personal stylist, so like bossing people about in that sort of way. Do I have a future new career ahead of me? Still think you're a proper treasure for making me booties, however much you play down the effort :)

For those of you feeling gross, I can't bear to look at myself either. I'm going to have to lose a heinous amount of weight to get back to anything remotely 'acceptable' once The Lad arrives; it'll probably take me at least a year. My stretchmarks are now approaching my ribs and go so far into my pubic area that I'm losing all my pubes because the follicles are being fucked up by the stretching. Sexy! And my Dad keeps trying to take random surprise photos of me when he sees me, often when I'm eating or trying to get out of chairs - who looks slim and sophisticated when getting out of a seat at the best of times?!

Thanks muchly for nice words about TYF, y'all. He is a keeper, it's true. Have been lucky to have always gone out with blokes who don't see housework a the woman's job - whether this is my feminist vibe or slatternly ways (ie they realise I ain't going to do it) or both, I do not know But please to heed my 'tude towards housework: 1) if he puts off what he's supposed to do, I don't do it, I'll wait for him to do it, even if it means putting up with skank or annoyance for a while & 2) If he doesn't do it 'my way' I bite my lip and just thank him profusely, telling him how good he is at the task. Am a bit scared that becoming parents will make our relationship more 'trad' but he hates that thought too, so we'll be vigilant.

sprocket my SIL brought me round the baby whisperer book last week after saying how much she swore by it. I threw it out of the window with teh rage after reading the what kind of baby have you got quiz. I just know that if a book tells my hormonal post-natal self that my baybee is a grumpy type (and let's face it, it's not unlikley) I will break my heart. It has reappeared on the book shelf though so the FDH obviously retrieved it.

I have made that mistake too ginny, thought that low slung loose trousers might be ok but couldn't haul them past my thighs! None of my pre diffment PJs fit either. Not good for the self esteem so I am only focussing on my wrists which remain slim and lovely. I was enjoying my ears too for their steadfast and reliable appearance until my differ acne spread to my ear lobes. Bah!

Waves to everyone else, still trying to catch up.

Uh, I fear I may have gone a tad bonkers with the squeeeeeeeeness of babygrows & bought a few. I've just washed 39 . Various vests / short sleeve / long sleeve combos. In my defence, Mr Loz has bought one a few of them, & so has his step-mum.

Oh, & that is just the white ones . Second load with the bright coloured / stripy / spotty ones just in the wash. Bug will have to limit number of nappies s/he fills but will be a catwalk king / queen

Also had automated message confirming Mamas & Papas delivery tomorrow. Tis all systems go...........

Now, Rocket you've inspired me to try & pack my hospital bag. Maybe after a & dunking session.

I asked my Mum for her advice but she just said 'you were born in October and I was very ill after having your brother (in July), so I can't remember what I did with him. Just stripped a layer off if he looked sweaty, I think'

One layer more than yourself is the usual advice. Or feel their chest/back and if they feel cold, add a layer, if hot remove a layer. Don't go by hands/feet as they will usually be colder anyway.

Today KateBob is wearing a sleeveless bodysuit, a long sleeve green stripey rugby top with a Viking on it, bright green trousers and yellow spotty socks with fake shoes on. It's a bit chilly out in the breeze so she had a blanket on.

When the weather has been proper hot I've left the vest off. Every other baby seems to be all bundled up, but whatever.

If you're using a sling the fabric and your body heat will be helping to keep them toasty so keep that in mind. I did nearly broil the poor baby. Hand down the back to check they're not too sweaty.

And the clothes details there were just because I love today's outfit. Even if everyone at buggy fitness said "oh what a lovely little boy".

Thanks muse that is useful advice.

Ok that didn't go so well. Babies stuff is not a problem but most of the stuff I want to take with me i will also want to use within the next 4 weeks so don't really want to pack it in a bag right now. Hmm, I think I am going to have a rethink. At least its partly done. Think I am just going to have to send TB home for stuff if I end with a hospital stay as it doesn't really make sense to me to annex enough stuff for a few days stay in hospital that I am hoping won't happen!

Right birth plan next.

Bitey, I think the baby whisperer stuff is like anything, pick and choose the bits that you like or are relevant to you. I did chuckle at the grumpy baby bit as TB is a gemini and always puts his grumpiness down to that, guess what Sprout is going to be?

Great advice, ta, Muse. Hand down the back, hand down the back is my new motto. I guess it's all a sharp learning curve, eek! KateBob is a total trendsetter - I love the sound of her groovy little outfit :) Or should that be, I loveitloveitloveit?

Rocket, I've packed sample sizes of toiletries in my hossie bag and bought some cheapo nighties, socks and dressing gown too (which I will wear afterwards, unless wrecked), cos I couldn't be doing with keeping my usual stuff in limbo either. Go and blag some swanky samples from department stores when next in town! Or buy some holiday minis from Boots or get some glossy mags and use the little freebie sachets therein. That's my hossie bag tip for all.