February 2011 - still some left to pop, surely not...

[ZeroMinusZero]

Took it upon myself to start a new thread. Everyone's popping right now!

PS: Sorry for the awful rhyme, it was all I could think of

Hi all. Have also been thinking of jane and been extra grateful for dd today.

My sling arrived today but havn't had a chance to use it yet. However, did swaddle dd last night on advice of a friend - I think it made a difference to our sleep tbh, she woke at 2.30 and 5.30 for feeds but seemed to settle herself much better afterwards. I felt a bit mean seeing her all swaddled up esp when feeding her but she seemed quite content :) We'll see how we get on tonight!

Just wanted to say deb sounds like you're having a difficult time of it so hope you are alright :(

Sorry I can't check in with everyone else, need to go and get some bottles ready, but I have been reading up honest

waddling i was 14 when my brother was stillborn too,he would have been about 31 now.

debka me too,i wouldnt mind if D would be put down at all but she wont,she just cries and i cant go out as she cries in car sling and pram.Very isolating.She had 5 bottles between 12.30 and 6 she never seems satisfied untill 8 oclock when she switches off like clockwork and goes to bed.Maybe the new milk will help,who knows?
Is that how your dd is? Im very confused.

I must say i have always swaddled,esp in hospital to stop her pulling out her tubes,i swaddle tightly too,no nonsense and she sleeps very well at night.

Hope Jane is resting now and that all went well.Hope to hear from her tomorrow.Have thought about nothing else all day

Debka and Ledkr sorry you are having such a poo time, it must be very isolating not to be able to get out.

Debka everything ok? don't forget you can come on the thread and just rant and vent if that'll help!

Ledkr D's a bit of a monkey isn't she? I remember dd1 fed all day and then slept from 7pm all night. It sounds ideal but at about 2pm I used to be begging for her to have a quick nap just so I could get a quick cup of tea!!!

Such a sad day today xx

I'm wearing pink today and thinking of Jane and little Zoe. The memorial page is beautiful and I've made a donation. I keep welling up thinking about how Jane must feel.

I had another appointment at the breastfeeding clinic today. She said we're one of the "most challenging" cases she's seen, as the problem almost certainly isn't technique, just low supply. She said she thinks the milk isn't flowing fast enough, based on L's behaviour, and was honest that it may or may not resolve itself. I've started drinking fennel tea and I'm going to add in pumping this week - not after every feeding but as much as possible. I'm feeling quite proud of myself because I BF in public yesterday, just the library but it was the first time I've done it.

have been thinking of jane all day today and giving alice lots of cuddles. I just can't imagine how hard it must've been for her and have shed a few tears and sent my thoughts over to her and her family and of course the beautiful zoe.

alice weighed today and gained more weight (hurrah) so strict eeding regime can be slackened, but seems she's now used to the fullness bottles give her tummy so feel like I've been bfing all day as she's been hungry hungry.

american at how you are so 'challenging' . We have a bfing counsellor visiting us at home tomorrow (dont' know how I managed that one but v grateful ) so am hoping to get feeding sorted. All the extra feeds I have given today = v sore nipples. V impressed on the bfing in public too - I'm still too scared to contemplate that.

wiggles that sounds like dd,was it literally all the time,i just feel like buying her a giant bottle and filling it up and just sitting there all day. I aquired a vibrating chair today she seems to like it so i may be able to wipe my arse tomorrow,if not maybe i will sit in it mayself

Ledkr Seriously dd1 would have fed all day, from about 11am onwards to about 5.30ish!! She was a brillant sleeper at night, right through from 9 weeks. I went back to work mornings when she was 5 months old and she began to nap then for my mum in the morning!!! She still would have had quite a few bottles from 3-5pm. It funny she was much lighter than the other two and even now although tall she is quite slight. She is now 5.5 and would eat most of her food in about an hour between 5.30-6.30pm, it's really strange - but it works for her She used to love lying on a baby gym, gave me a few minutes for a quick wee break

wiggles that makes me feel a bit better,ive never had a baby like it before.She had a gfeed at 12 then as soon as thats finished she is grisly for another and so on,but yes she does sleep 8-3am then quick feed and on until morning,do you think its actually possible for them to kind of "stock up" was your dd fairly hard to entertain when awake? Thats what i find hard,i popped her into the new sling-a bright sparks hammock type one and she loved it so fingers crossed i may have found something-its stripey and quite hipppyish dh said i look like one of those mother earth types who dont shave their armpits and wear sandals and socks and breast feed 8yr olds

Sorry am about to indulge in a me me me post. Actually feel at the end of my tether. DD reflux gotten so bad all she does is scream. I feel i cannot cope anymore. I feel so sorry for her but its so draining.
She just spent last 2 hours screaming so gave her bottle as she was sucking away and then refused it. DP has sent me to sleep on sofa so i can sleep i just feel like a proper failure. Cant stop crying. I bet she already thinks im a crap mum. Just wish we had a miracle cure for it.

I feel so guilty for getting annoyed as its not her fault. Just feel like a mess!

It's not your fault pinkie, reflux is terrible. Can you go back to GP? Good on your dh for sending you to sleep and remember to take care of yourself.

PinkiePoo It's not your fault, and the fact that you are posting on here and looking for support means you are not a crap mum. It is really draining and soul destroying when your baby seems to scream endlessly, 5 mins of it seems like an hour. I'm sorry I don't know much about reflux but get back to GP as soon as you can. Grab any sleep you can, forget about anything like housework, cooking etc and try and rest.

ledkr with dd1 I just used to throw her in the pram during the day and walk, or walk into town, but she was a summer baby so weather was a bit better!!! I also made up feeds in advance and feed her when we were out.

Pinkie, poor you and baby. My friends baby had reflux and she found it really tough. Are your doctors helping at all? It must be awful for you.
Ledkr, Noah seems to be feeding more often at the moment, every two to three hours, I'm managing to sometimes push him closer to the three hour mark. He's z big baby and I really thought he would go longer between feeds, maybe in time. I can't imagine what it must br like to be feeding constantly!
Debka, I hope your ok

pinkie have you got meds yet? You wont believe this but shortly after your meltdown i had mine,dd was awake all day and fed almost constantly,she sleeps ok at night so i was just willinbg away the day,so last night she was horrendous and as dh had work at 7 i was trying to do it all so at 5am when id had about 2 hrs sleep i lost it too couldnt stop crying said i couldnt face the coming day on my own said i smell my hair is greasy and i cant do it anymore-it felt like a breakdown i couldnt stop sobbing.Dh took her down and told me to sleep,i have just woken up with headache and they must be stil downstairs i can only guess he went off sick for the first time in his life!!He was very worried i could tell cos im normally strong.I will pm you my number today so we can talk,but if you think its reflux PLEASE get to drs she will be in agony and the meds are really good (dd is bad cos in the middle of changing hers)She was also waking for a feed then refusing it ;ast night
It is a recognised condition,some kids get d.l.a.dont leave her in pain.I will talk to you later if we get a crying free moment.

Wiggles i cant go out the door cos she doesnt stop crying even when moving in pram or car never known anything like it before.

Hi ladies, sorry i havent been up to posting for the past few days. Yesterday was Zoe's funeral, the sevice was beautiful and very fitting. My Df and I managed to take Zoe to her resting place for that i am extremely proud! the day went by in a bit of a blur and was exhausting mentally and physically.

Today i just dont know how to feel, im so sad that everything is over i miss my Zoe so much. My DF is worried about me because im not eating, i have no appetite at all and the thought of eating makes me sick to the stomache. I know it will take time for me to feel a bit more "normal".

We are both completely blown away by your donations to SANDS and would like to thank you all from the bottom of hearts for such generosity and your beautifully kind words, you have no idea how much it helps to know people are thinking of us and Zoe.

Jane i really feel for you and your partner and you are doing really well, zoe was a beautiful baby girl and would be so proud to have such loving caring parents. If your not able to eat just be sure you do get plenty of fluids down you. Love to you and your family.xx

jane thanks for coming back to let us know it went as well as it could,i should imagine now will be the hardest time as you had th arrangements to make before.Try not to forget you are also recovering yourself and as cler says at least drink plenty.Now may be a good time to pop onto the breavement threads as i can imagine it would be a great relief to speak to someone who understands.Zoe will never be truly gone as she was a part of you both and you looked after her for 9 months,remember her kicks and movements and her beautifull face,be kind to yourselves there is no time limit on grief let it wash over you and accept it but in between remember you are both still here and have eachother and your precious memories and actually a future when you are ready for it,you can live it in your little girls honour.Much love to you all.Please say if we can help xxx

Jane you have done so well to get this far, just go easy on yourself, don't feel like you have to feel a certain way. Just get through it however you can

pinkie I am sorry to hear of the reflux troubles, it must be so hard. My ds1 didnt stop crying and I remember how exhausting it was. Am glad you managed to get some sleep - the sleep deprivation makes everything so much harder to cope with. Big hugs to you. Hope your gp can help.

Mikey is so restless today, just won't sleep and ds1 is so jealous Nd won't come near me when I ammholding the baby. I am tryinto make time to spend with him everyday but it's so hard. I have a blinding headache - think it's a Sinus infection but it's unbearable, like there is an axe in my forehead! My eyes are watering from it, trying to muster up the energy to get to the pharmacy.

angels how is the expressing going? And you expat? Have you tried before feeds to see if it improves?

40weeks and Ledkr what is it they say about misery loving company!!! Anna had a fantastic sleep last night through from midnight to 6.30ish, today she has been like a baiting bear. Can't get her to settle at all, she seems to be hungry all the time but the bottle won't settle her. Went up to my mums this morning and even my dad who has this knack of settling babies, he just walks about with them for ages couldn't get her to calm down. She has literally screamed all day, by now she would have had at least 3 naps, she has finally closed her eyes, but doesn't look very settled. Mr Wiggles is at work, god help him if he rings and tells me he has to stay back

knitta hope all is going well, thinking of you x

wiggles i sent you the vibes,you were far too comfy for my liking
D is being a bit better today she must know i was on the verge of getting her adopted I have upped the bottles durrrrr maybe should have done that before.She likes her sling too and sat in it whilst i did a bit of washing and made some lunch,i then transfered her sleeping into the swing where she remains.DH is having a sleep now we are both wanting to watch the football so she had better behave.

Ledkr thought someone was sending me the "evils" Anna woke up 10 mins after I posted but she seems a lot more settled. In her vibrating chair watching dd1 eat her dinner!!! About to give her a bath and see how we get on!!

Ah gees these bubbas must have their own thread we don't know about and have been plotting behind our backs!

jane thank you for letting us know how things went. The time now will just be a case of getting through however you can, and we are all here to help in any way we can. x

looking forward to hearing knittas news and hope she doesn't take as long to be induced as me!!

40 I've given up on expressing . Had bfing counsellor here today and mw yesterday and they have said I can drop the formula/expressed top ups so we are taking them out during the say but keeping them for now for evenings/nights so it's not too much of a shock to her system and hopefully she will continue to sleep OK. Interestingly, bfing counsellor said milk is at its peak 90 mins after a feed (not sure why though) so apparently that's a good time to express.

I sympathise with badly behaved babies as alice has been a bit of a crying nightmare today we think as we've taken away the formula top up so she's feeling huingry all the blinking time and crying alot in general.

Wow, seems that the babies have indeed been plotting recently, after my great night with the swaddling on thursday last night was a nightmare and dd would not settle from 2.30 am until 5am

I have bought one Dr Browns bottle today and am sending dp to Asda to get some gripe water in a bit - she has been so grumpy and crying for the past 2 hours especially when feeding.

We ventured into town today and had some food in wagamamas - to the untrained eye we probably looked like a relaxed family but dp and I were definitely scoffing our food faster than normal in case she started crying!

Sending all the babies sleepy vibes for tonight